Tag: Fm

ESH

One of my guilty time wasting pleasures is reading Am I The Asshole on Reddit. It’s fun to sit in judgement on random strangers and boil complex situations down to one of the forums standard labels: NTA (Not The Asshole), YTA (You’re The Asshole), NAH (No Assholes Here) or ESH (Everyone Sucks Here).

I was reminded of it when reading this LA Time article on a relationship gone wrong thanks to undisclosed kinks. I’d say it’s clearly a case of ESH. The writer for being judgmental, snarky and unwilling to be GGG. Her ex for keeping his kinks quiet until months into the relationship and then dumping them all out. Both of them for bad communication.

I get that it’s pretty tough to share kinks when you’ve just started dating, but pushing the reveal out by months can never be a good plan. If they are potentially kinky then better to start communicating and having fun together sooner. If it’s a deal-breaker then there’s no need to waste everyone’s time. And, if you’re hoping someone’s need to maintain a relationship will persuade them to do things they don’t really want to, then YTA.

From the article it seemed like the sub was a fan of latex and fetishwear. So here’s an image in honor of that.

I found on an old tumblr site. From hunting around I believe that is the German domme Patrizia Von Bergfeld.

Tech Work To Sex Work

Continuing the theme of NYC domme’s, the image below is Mistress Serafina. She was recently featured in a Mashable article on Tech workers who transitioned into Sex Work. While everyone interviewed seems to be thriving in their new careers, the reasons they moved are sadly all too common for women in tech.

“I really did experience sexism at every turn in my [corporate] career,” shares NYC-based professional dominatrix, Mistress Serafina. “From my first interviews out of college, I was propositioned by my interviewers, then I was propositioned by the principal engineer at my first job. I was repeatedly looked over for opportunities, and told in my performance reviews that my tone was too fiery.”

For someone like myself, who has worked in tech for 20+ years, it’s a depressing story. The whole area needs a major cultural shift. More women in engineering and product development would help, but we’ll never get there is we keep driving talented people like Mistress Serafina out.

This image is from Mistress Serafina’s twitter feed. You can find her professional site here.

Room Service

One thing I should add to my previous post on Google – their stupidity only applies in you’re actually logged in to their service. Which, given the prevalence of things like android and gmail, is probably true for a lot of people. However, if you’re lucky enough not to have observed the regression in results, that might be why.

Anyway, moving on to a positive note, here’s some visual loveliness to start the week. This is the always amazing Mistress Iris, in an image she shared on Twitter. I’m personally sad I’ve not had chance to play with her since 2019. Based on her social media and her site, she seems to be enjoying a lot of kinky hijinks in some beautiful parts of the world.

Kinky Dating

The New York Times recently published an article on the Feeld dating app and its CEO Ms. Kirova. I’d not heard of it before, but apparently its becoming popular in kinky circles.

Feeld, which started as a dating app for couples and singles called 3nder in 2014, has, under Ms. Kirova’s leadership, positioned itself as a go-to for nonmonogamous, sex-positive and kinky people of all sexual orientations.

It’s also acquired a reputation as a space that fosters directness, something of a rarity in the dating-app world.

Its userbase is relatively small compared to the giants like Tinder and Grindr but, based on the article at least, it seems to be doing a passable job of encouraging clear communication while not turning into a cesspool of toxic content and sex crazed jerks. Although, sadly, there’s always going to be a non-trivial contingent of those in any online space (as the article highlights).  Be interested to hear if any of my readers have tried it.

Of course the time honored ways to meet a partner will never go entirely out of fashion. The beautiful image below is a wedding photograph for @nivalislava. According to the twitter thread I sourced it from they originally met at college. It’s fetish rather than femdom, but I love it just the same.

Swinging in the Desert

Twitter remains a great place to stumble on new and interesting content, despite Elon’s efforts to screw it up. For example, I present the spectacular shots below that were posted by Temptress Pixie.  I love the drama of these. Dramatic setting can often clash or detract from kinky shots, but in these the brutality of the setting complements the scene beautifully. You can see the original full resolution shots, along with additional photographs, in this and this tweet.

Pony Fun

Fans of Pony Play might want to check out the stories of I. Binder, some of which are available on Gagged Utopia. The site seems broken in a bunch of places, but you can see a number of them listed under the PonyPlay tag here. For example, this, this, this and this. Looks like there’s also some on Amazon if you wish to purchase them.

I’m not sure it’d be a kink I’d want to indulge during an actual session. Too old and too many wonky back muscles for pulling people around. However, the fantasy is nice and the I. Binder stories are very well written. They got me interested in a kink that had never really clicked with me before.

I sourced this image from Madam is All tumblr. Reverse image searching didn’t give me any leads, but I believe that’s Mistress Trinity, an NYC based pro-domme.  I previously featured an image that looks to be from the same shoot here.

Dating by Meta

Social media is pretty bad at the best of times. However, that’s never stopped the social media companies doing the damnedest  to make it worse. Facebook used to be poster child for this, but Musk and Twitter have recently usurped them in doubling down on dumb ideas. In a valiant effort to reclaim the crown, Meta recently launched a Facebook/Instagram AI dating coach called Carter. It’s just what you always wanted – a dating coach from a bunch of nerds that learnt all it knows from cesspit of social media feeds.

Of course, given it comes from the famously puritanical Meta, it’s into kink shaming. It throws up a red flag if you want to talk about kinks and fetishes. The only exception, according to this Gizmodo article, is foot fetishism. So either the Meta folk behind it are really into feet or they’re incompetent prudes who forget to censor one of the most common kinks.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image.

Properly Rested

Getting sick and sessioning (or not) reminded me of the time back in 2014 where I unsuccessfully tried to combine the two. The idea was to use the session high to carry me through the unpleasantness of whatever bug I had. That turned out not to be a good plan. You’ve only so much energy, so you can either power your immune system or your masochism, but not both.

It’s surprising just how much energy it takes to session. For most of mine I’m barely moving while the domme does all the work of poking, slapping, prodding, etc. Yet the stress and physical reactions still take a lot out of me. The nervous system and body are constantly being make to react and respond.

Most general guides to kinky play and pro-domme sessions will suggest ensuring that you’re properly rested, hydrated and fed. That can seem like boilerplate instructions, particularly when most activities seem low physical effort, but I think it can really make a difference to the post-session glow. Go in with low energy or low capacity and the subsequent crash can be hard.

Of course some sessions can be more exhausting than others. For example, if your domme turns up with a saddle in hand, it probably doesn’t matter how well rested you are. It’s going to be a long day.