Tag: Cross Dressing

Nothing Good

There’s been a lot of jokes about Kristi and Byron Noem in the last week. For anyone that missed it, Byron was outed for being into some mix of crossdressing / bimbo/ sissy fetish. Allegedly Kristi was also fucking her advisor Cory Lewandowski, so there’s also some potential for a cuckold kink in the mix as well.

People online have been having fun with it, but I just find it depressing. Liberals will say they’re not mocking the kink but the terrible hypocrisy of the pair. Conservatives will accuses liberals of hypocrisy in kink shaming. That is fucking ridiculous coming from them, but it won’t stop it happening. A good number from both sides will in fact mock the kink. Nobody wins and everyone suffers. Frankly, I couldn’t care less what happens to the Noems. They seem like terrible people. But it’s clearly not helpful to the kink community or anyone with similar fetishes.

A lot of domme’s were critical of the effort put into the crossdressing. I’m not going to do that. Who knows what the dynamics of it was. However, it does give me an excuse to publish a well executed sissy maid set-up. This is obviously from the English Mansion.

Gift Wrapped

This post represents something of a blogging trifecta. It keeps my trend of cute artwork for the weekend going, features another new (to this blog) artist, and is also on point topically. This particularly artwork is by ewyuckyloser.

Valentines Day is one of those holidays that never does much for me, regardless of relationship status. This beautifully wrapped young man is at least a much nicer gift idea than the last minute flowers I saw people lining up for at Whole Foods this afternoon.

You can find more from the artist via their Bluesky account and their Deviant Art account.

Kitchen Maid

I’m continuing the domestic and kitchen theme with this shot from Mary, a Bristol and London based pro-domme. I like the idea, but can’t help thinking a slightly longer maids dress might be needed. Nobody want’s hairy naked wobbly bits around kitchen table height. The playboy bunny ears and stockings do make for a fetching look though.

If you’d like to schedule a session with Mary, and maybe try a similar outfit on for yourself, her scheduling info is here.

Pretty in Pink

I don’t feature a huge amount of cross-dressing here. Not because I dislike the kink. I’ve had fun with Savannah occasionally putting me in a frock and added a bit of lippy and blush. I just struggle to find aesthetically pleasing shots that lean into the positive aspects of it.

This very cute and sexy shot is a happy exception. Like yesterday’s post, there’s some lovely color coordination going on between domme and submissive.

I found this via a random tumblr. A bit of research on its source took me to this tweet and Araity’s feed, who I believe is the submissive (OnlyFans here). I think the domme is the London based Mistress Belle.

Pick a Side

Apologies if you’ve one of the tiny handful of people who follow me on twitter, as this post is going to be a rehash of a twitter rant I posted there recently. The tweets were an experiment to see if I could use twitter threads for thoughts longer than 280 characters, and if I’d get better engagement with them. The answers were respectively ‘not easily’ and ‘no’, so I think blog posts will remain my primary form of expression.

The rant in question was brought about by multiple social media arguments I’d seen on controversial kinky activities. Topics like race play, extreme age play, incest porn/roleplay and nazi outfits. All these arguments ultimately boiled down to two basic viewpoints. On one side was ‘as long as its consensual, adults can fantasize about anything’, on the other was ‘this activity has serious implications and you’re selfish/evil for treating it as way to get off’. I think both of those can be defensible opinions. What struck me as crazy was people flipping between the two depending how they felt about the topic in question.

The ‘as long as its consensual’ view is basically a get of jail free card. It’s a perspective that puts kinky play in its own little bubble, with no obvious relationship between what happens in the bubble and the outside world. If you believe it, then you can do a non-con sex roleplay, and not think you’re encouraging rape. Or beat someone and not spend any time wondering if you’re encouraging violence. That’s a valid viewpoint in my opinion, but it’s important to realize, it’s activity agnostic. You can’t logically claim your kinks live in a bubble where consent is all that matters, but arbitrary other kinks don’t.

On the other side, I think it’s also reasonable to argue that kinks very much interact with a broader social context. For example, one could discuss the intersection of race play and racism. However, if you’re going to do that, it means all kinks have to be considered in that context. That means a lot of kinks become potentially problematic, and require deeper analysis and justification. I typically don’t see anyone out there wanting to do that work for their personal favorite kinks.

In actuality, what consistently happens is that people play the ‘as long as its consensual’ card for their favorite kinks, and then try to withhold it when the activity in question gives them yucky feelings. Which seems broken to me. Either play the card consistently and let others do the same, or don’t play it at all.

In the femdom realm the combination of cross-dressing and humiliation is one of those controversial topics that can trigger a similar ‘consensual adults’ versus ‘this is wrong’ debate. The artwork here is by Voloh.

DDLG

A lot of professional domme’s produce and share great kinky material, but I think Dominatrix Iris is someone who absolutely excels at it. This sexy-as-hell image is from what she termed a DDLG (Daddy Domme/Little Girl) shoot in her twitter feed. It’s tricky to play with the tropes of femdom erotica and yet still create something fresh and interesting. I think she absolutely nails it here, and I’m now very curious to see what the rest of her DDLG shoot looks like.

You can see another image in the same sequence in this tweet.  As she says, she makes a pretty dapper daddy. Her play partner also looks fabulous in that white lingerie.

More Opting In or Out

I’m continuing my thoughts from yesterday’s post – Opt In or Opt Out. If you haven’t read that already, then I’d start there, otherwise this won’t make much sense.

When it comes to scene negotiation, I think there’s a fundamental tension that’s challenging to resolve. On one hand everyone wants scope for creativity and spontaneity. Working out a strict plan of action beforehand or stopping every 5 minutes to discuss the next activity is no fun. On the other hand, people can have very different views on what activities need discussion and what don’t. It’s not so much a question of failing to negotiate, but failing to spot the need to negotiate. If I think hoods are an opt in item then I will not mention them, as I don’t think I need to explicitly bar them. If the domme thinks they’re an opt out item, then me saying nothing leaves them on the table as a viable option to stick over my head mid-scene.

I don’t have any great suggestions to resolving this tension, other than trial and error and playing with the same people repeatedly. A few things I try to do from the submissive perspective are assume that…

  • Any common themes in femdom and BDSM are things I have to explicitly opt out of. For example, I’m always explicit about ruling out humiliation scenes as that’s not my kink but it’s a common one.
  • My opt in’s are sticky. If I opted in to something in a past session, the domme is probably going to assume I’m still in for it, even if we haven’t discussed it. So if I’m feeling differently about it, then it’s down to me to bring it up and opt out.
  • Opting in for X may well be treated as also opting in for things closely related to X. For example, there are a lot of different types of impact play, yet they rarely get negotiated separately. If that’s a problem for me, then I need to be explicit about how narrow I want my opt in to be.
  • A domme isn’t going to remember my particular opt outs between sessions. So if I discover during the course of play we’re on different pages on what needs discussion and what doesn’t, then it’s down to me to bring that up again next time as necessary.

I’ll leave you with a vintage image of an activity that is opt in for most dommes I know. However, there was one domme who, mid-scene and totally out of the blue, tossed me a pair of fishnet stockings, a garter belt and a pair of frilly panties to put on. It turned out to be fun, but I was certainly a bit surprised at the time. I think she was equally surprised by just how long it took me to figure out how to get them all on properly.

This show is from mrunderheel’s twitter feed.

Cute Boys

This isn’t actually femdom, but it made me laugh, so it gets a pass. Plus, I figure there must be at least some overlap between readers of this blog and people who like muscular men doing cross-dressing Magical Girl cosplay. The background to the shot, along with more photos, is in this crunchyroll article. Feel free to imagine a stern domme waving a whip at them from behind the camera if it’ll help.

Preparing Backstage

I love this transformation shot from Maitresse Nuit. They both look so focused and happy. The style makes me think of Weimar Germany in the 1920’s. Once the transformation is complete, I can just imagine the two of them strutting out into a smoky 1920’s nightclub. They’d sip a cocktail, take a turn with the cabaret and flirt with rich aristocrats. A hedonistic delight.

The photographer of this beautiful image is Lucina Nathanael.