Tag: m

Santa

It’s that time of year again. If you celebrate Christmas then I hope you have a good one. If you don’t, then I apologize for all the nonsense around it. If the holiday time is tough for you then I empathize and commiserate. Thankfully we’ll all be past it soon.

I found this article on the origin of Santa and Father Christmas interesting. I hadn’t realized that there were two separate figures involved and that Saint Nicholas was the patron saint of sex workers. On an entirely unrelated note, I’ve also enjoyed the #duvetknowitschristmas tag on twitter, which reminds me why I like staying at home over Christmas and not dealing with weird family arrangements.

Finally, here’s a nice bondage image from Thee Domasan to finish the post. What a well placed Santa hat.

Heading Towards the Light

For anyone fed up with dark winter nights and holiday festivities, there is good news. In the Northern Hemisphere we just passed the Winter Solstice. That means we’ve turned the corner and are heading back towards lighter times. In just a few days all the holiday nonsense will be over and the days will slowly start getting longer.

Mistress Fox and her submissive marked the Solstice with this beautiful bondage scene. As you might guess, the petals were then beaten off him.

Mistress Fox is a NYC based pro-domme. I can’t find a website for her, but her twitter bio contains contact details for anyone interested in arranging a session.

Centerpiece

We’re heading into the festive season. A time where friends and family gather to celebrate and share food.  For anyone hosting such an event and looking for ideas for a table centerpiece, can I suggest a naked man with candles and rope? Admittedly, he will take up a lot of table space. Wriggling due to hot wax may also be a problem. On the plus side, what a fabulous talking point! Much better than politics or listening to boomers complaining about the young people today. I can imagine several of my more senior female relatives getting a total kick out of this.

This image comes courtesy of Michelle Lacy of Order Of Indomitus. She’s a South Florida based pro-domme and her professional site is accessible here.

Command and Control

A few week ago Mistress Troy Orleans posted an interesting twitter thread on her approach to play and the difficulty of finding appropriate labels for it. I liked a lot of things about, particularly this sexy as hell digression, but I wanted to pick up on the following section in particular…

During a scene, I’m undeniably in control, but if something’s not working, I’ll adjust. My ego’s not attached to the action.

I think that’s an important point for people on both sides of the D/s equation. BDSM is complicated, particularly when doing heavy bondage or intense play. No matter how skilled the participants are – and Troy Orleans is very highly skilled – not everything will work out exactly as expected.

I’ve played with a small number of dommes who did tend to get frustrated or annoyed when a particular setup wasn’t working out as they’d imagined. Those were typically one off visits, because that reaction really kills the dynamic for me. I’m looking for someone in control, which means of themselves as well as of me. Control is about remaining in command of the situation when things don’t work, not trying to make the impossible possible. Plus, watching dommes creatively problem solve and experiment on me in realtime is hot AF.

On the flipside of the coin, from the submissive perspective, I think there can be a danger of treating play as a form of theater, with the domme as the actor and the submissive as both audience and props. That feeds into the bad idea of a scene as crafted narrative that needs to be executed for it to be successful. In reality it’s a highly collaborative process, where the end goal is a creation of a particular energy. Adjusting to something not work out should be viewed as part of building that energy, not a failure of the process. Variation and adaption are what make each experience unique.

Here’s a shot from Mistress Troy Orlean’s twitter feed of a man under her very tight control. You can see more media from her via her OnlyFans.

A Session with Mistress Tess

It’s time to peruse another page in the paltego family album of NYC vacation photographs. Today we’re revisiting the time spent with the amazing Mistress Tess. Much kinky fun was had by all.

There was a fair amount of CBT involved. This shot shows a combination of clips, electricity and a fancy metal ball stretcher. Oddly enough, the most painful thing was the simple sharp pinch of the clips. Needles also made a welcome appearance. For anyone who doesn’t mind viewing a cock piercing shot, then this image shows that part of the scene.

There was a lot of bondage. Some of it was Dexter style mummification – minus the serial killers – as shown here. There was a neoprene sleeping sack inside a cage, shown here from the outside and the inside. When it comes to locks, straps, buckles and chains, then Mistress Tess is firmly a believer in the more is always better philosophy. Probably the most visual spectacular bondage was the suspended leather bag as shown at the bottom of the post. That entire thing could spin around the suspension point. With my entire body floating immobilized in space, even a gentle rotation was quite a head rush.

The most unique and unusual bondage we did featured inflation. You can see a side view in this shot here. Mistress Tess first placed me inside a rubber bag, nested inside a larger outer bag. Then she built the metal framework you can see around me in the photograph. That was all bolted down to her pinboard bed. Finally she inflated the bags, squeezing me tightly into place. It doesn’t look much in the images, but it was incredibly tight and constricting, whilst still being relatively comfortable. You can see an end on shot, taken from where my head was, in this image. There’s a vibrator sticking out and the two cords going up are attached to a spiked parachute ball stretcher. So while the bondage might have been comfortable, some of the accessories were a bit more ouchy.

What the images and descriptions can’t capture is the brilliant storytelling that Mistress Tess adds to her scenes. Given just a hint of a fantasy scenario she can spin erotic tales that fit beautifully with the physical scene she’s putting together. My only real contribution to these fantasies was to supply sound effects, but I like to think I did my part by putting the screams and cries in all the right places.

For anyone who wants to see more of Mistress Tess and her amazing studio, then she has an OnlyFans here. There’s a video from my session posted there, which actually includes some more scenes that we didn’t get photographs of.

The Meditating Octopus

I’ve been indulging in a lot of bondage fun over the last few days in NYC. Many photos were taken and will be posted soon. Nothing I did looks quite like this however. The rigging work is by Mistress Chiaki and – via this tweet – she called the position the Meditating Octopus.

It’s an amazing bondage setup and a good name. Although I have to say the image puts me more in mind of Darth Vader after a bad allergic reaction. Maybe an alternative name might be “Suspended Vader in desperate need of EpiPen.”

Needles and Threads

I’ve done a lot of scenes with needles that I’d classify as art. This scene as a tailors dummy and this scene that left me with a series of beads stitched across my chest spring to mind. However, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything quite as visually striking as this beautiful shot from Pitt Prickel and Mistress Madita. I’m not sure if it’s best described as sexy art, or sex as art, or arts and crafts (with a good dose of sex).

Image is from this tweet.

Lies, Damned Lies and Sex Trafficking Crackdowns

When the US government was passing SESTA/FOSTA and shutting down backpage, sex workers were very vocal in claiming it would do nothing to stop sex trafficking and would actually make it harder to track. Now thanks to this article on newly discovered government memos, we can see how right those sex workers were. Backpage was apparently incredibly helpful in tracking dubious advertisements and alerting authorities when they thought children might be being trafficked. They allowed users to report ads, flagged photographs of anyone looking underage, worked with authorities on best practices and suggested filtering based on phone numbers that law enforcement could provide.

None of this stopped prosecutors spinning horror stories in the press about backpage, because of course the attack on backpage and sex workers (by proxy) was never about stopping trafficking. It was all about the look of the thing, scoring cheap political points and imposing control over what women can and cannot do with their bodies. The end result has been exactly what sex workers said would happen. Rather than working with a site with established expertise to solve the problem, the authorities have spent a fortune prosecuting them while losing any visibility they had into genuine exploitation.

I had no idea what an appropriate image for this post would be, so I’ll settle for a drawing showing exactly what I’d like to happen to every prosecutor involved in this fiasco. The artwork is by Annmo Night. 

Bound by Hinako

Here’s the final entry into my trio of bondage themed posts. This beautiful rope work is from Mistress Hinako. There’s some lovely details in here, like the rope across the palms that is taken up into a tie across the foot. It doesn’t look like much when you first glance at the photograph, but I’m sure the person experiencing it first hand is very aware of it.

If you’d like to see more from Mistress Hinako, she has a lot of high quality content available here.

Speaking Up (Continued)

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post on the challenge for submissives to speak up while playing. I’m certainly no expert, but I thought I’d share a couple of pieces of advice I’ve found useful.

Firstly, don’t assume that just because you’re doing a familiar activity, with someone you’ve played with before, you won’t need to speak up. Mental and physical states are always changing. I was caught out in this way one time while being single tailed by Mistress Mara Mayhem in Chicago. We’d played together several before and this certainly wasn’t a new activity for me. Unfortunately on the way to her space, my uber driver’s radio had been describing the gruesome details of the killing of Jamal Khashoggi by the Saudi government. It was a disturbing story and for some reason, as we were playing, I couldn’t get it out of my head. My thoughts were racing and I began to feel faint. It seemed stupid. The physical sensations weren’t that intense and my position wasn’t uncomfortable. Yet somehow the combination of the session stress and my messed up thoughts almost pushed me into passing out. Luckily Mistress Mara is an expert and picked up something was going on, giving me a cue to communicate and temporarily stop the scene. I was relying on my history of play to guide me, rather than listening to what my body was telling me at that moment.

The other piece of advice I’d give to submissives is to try and be transparent and informational with your communication, rather than directive. The submissive’s role isn’t to control scene, but to give the domme the information she needs to make the scene work. For example, consider the situation of being put into an uncomfortable bondage position that you’re not sure about. Can you tolerate it? You might not want to immediately say you can’t handle it, but you also don’t want to wait until all the ropes in place and then have to stop everything. Giving informative but neutral feedback like “I can handle this, but probably not for a long period” can help the domme adjust if necessary. Maybe a short period is all she was aiming for. Maybe she’ll dig for more details so she can tweak the position.

Being transparent in feedback doesn’t have to involve words. I always try and make the volume of my cries and moans reflect the intensity of the sensation I feel. If you grit your teeth right up until you’re forced to yell ‘Red!’ then you’ve given the domme nothing to work with and then a command to stop. Giving honest feedback via my yelps helps her fine tune the scene while keeping a natural D/s flow.

Here’s an example of clear communication in the other direction from Yumine Guo. I don’t think the domme has left much doubt about her opinions.