Decadence

I’m safely back in Seattle after my trip to Las Vegas. Having enjoyed a few days of sunshine, fine dining and alcohol I now feel I should adopt the role of the martyr and be both scourged and purged. Unfortunately I know that scourging in my case is yet another form of decadent enjoyment. If I really wanted to do penance for my visit to the city of sin, I should probably sit alone in a small beige room. Being beaten only warms my libidinous instincts.

This image, by Édouard-Henri Avril, is a good reflection of my conflicted state. He’s being both beaten and stimulated. I suspect that this is a win/win scenario for him.

Artwork by Edouard Henri Avril

Socks

This post may meander past some odd topics but, unless things go radically off course, it will finish with some femdom. So stick around. Or not. Your call.

A few days ago, on my post about a boy who locked himself in his parents handcuffs, hmp commented that kids will find everything. I don’t have children, but my own childhood would certainly validate his comment. My parents didn’t have kinky toys, but they did have a couple of sex manuals, including the famously illustrated Joy of Sex. In the days before widespread consumer internet, and with no cable tv, this was my equivalent of kink.com cross with late night Cinemax. No matter where my parents hid it, and they certainly tried lots of places, I could always find it. It was like ESP, only with less ouija boards and more used tissues.

You’d think that reading an educational sex manual designed for loving couples would be good preparation for actually having sex. That it’d help me be a more caring and sensitive partner. And it’s true that I didn’t grow up thinking that a violent jack-hammering followed by semen all over their face was what most women were looking for. Sadly however, none of its wise words stuck with me when I (finally) encountered a real naked and eager woman. Absolutely the only thing I remembered was that it advised men to always take their socks off before removing their trousers (pants in the US) to avoid looking silly. I did that. I was very pleased with myself. My thought process was “Remember socks then trousers … remember socks then trousers … good job … looking pretty suave … naked lady … real naked lady … wow … errrr … is this the foreplay thingy? … I guess I lick … something … maybe …”

Even today when I’m getting naked with someone new, that memory comes back to me. I only wish a few more male porn models and photographers had read the same book, as silly looking naked men in socks crop up all the time. Just in the last few weeks my posts have featured this guy, this guy and  this guy. The image below is another good case in point. Admittedly the Joy of Sex didn’t have anything to say about getting undressed when you’re about to be anally and orally penetrated on a couch by two women wielding strap-ons. Perhaps it would have given a pass in this situation, but I kind of doubt it.

WearingSocks

This image is from the Girls Abuse Guys site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Talking over a bear

This rather intriguing artwork is by the artist Waldemar-Kazak. It’s called ‘Talking over a bear’ and you can see the original full size version over on his Deviant Art page. I’m not exactly sure what the story is behind it. There’s a very 50’s feel to it, an edge of melancholy created by his expression and a weird sexy vibe (at least in my strange brain). It looks like it should be an illustration for a twisted short story in something like the New Yorker.

Talking Over A Bear

I originally came across this in the Femdomarts tumblr.

Squeeze!

I’m having too much fun in NYC to blog properly. I’ll therefore stick to simply posting images I like. This one has a nice trio of facial expressions. It features Lexi Sindel and Lea Lexis and is from Femdom Empire. Personally while I like the C part of CBT, I’m not big on the B. That long drawn out ache is tough to deal with. I’d guess this guy is going to be living with the results of that squeeze for a while.

Squeeze!

I found this on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

My favorite kind of people

The New York Times has an interesting but annoying article on the subject of sadists. Interesting because, well, it’s about sadists, my favorite kind of people. They’re the Yin to my masochistic Yang. Annoying because it suffers from all the usual problems these kind of pseudo-scientific articles often suffer from. It simplifies, conflates and doesn’t define terms clearly. I’m left with way more questions that I started with. Not to mention a desire to quit my job and do a doctorate on the topic.

The basic point of the article is that sadism is far commoner than people traditionally assume. You don’t have to be a Hannibal Lecter to be classed as a sadist. However, it seems to tangle a lot of things together in strange ways. I’m left wondering…

  1. What’s the correlation between sexual sadists who get off on the reactions of their consensual partners and everyday sadists who get off on hurting whoever they come across? My experience is that the former don’t strongly overlap with the latter.
  2. What’s the split between people who enjoy power, those who enjoy destruction and those who enjoy the suffering of others? The article conflates them all, but for the first two the sadism is incidental to the main goal. Someone watching a clip of a race car crash is typically watching it for the awe and the spectacle of the crash, not because they’re hoping the driver got hurt. Similarly I don’t think shooting a collection of pixels in a videogame necessarily identifies someone as a sadist.
  3. How many people identified as sadists are conscious of their sadism? And of those that are, how many seek out opportunities to act sadistically? Does being aware of the trait cause people to act on it or attempt to control and diminish it?
  4. How many people act sadistically in groups but not in one on one situations? It would seem to me that the dynamics of social bullying are very different, although this article conflates them.
  5. Are sadists typically selective in how they inflict pain? Is it the reaction of the victim that matters? Or the way in which the sadist provokes the reaction?

It’s a fascinating area, and sadly this article doesn’t get to the heart of it. I’m surprised the scientists haven’t paid more attention to people who self-identify as sadists and masochists. They can’t use them to decipher the broader story, but they’d at least be a good starting point. And it’d be way easier to set-up ethical experiments with a pool of subjects who will happily zap and whack each other for fun!

Nipple Torture

I’m not entirely sure where this shot of two sadists indulging in a little nipple torture comes from. I’d guess it’s one of the Kink sites, but my search foo is failing me.

Spanking confessions

There’s a recently published article on Salon about a spanking aficionado coming to terms with and confessing his kink. It’s written from the point of view of a male top and, apart from the inappropriate stock photograph at the top, it’s a good insight into the kind of self-analysis and relationship risks a lot of kinky people have to enter into.

Male submissives often complain, with some justification, about the cultural unacceptability of their kinks. This article is a good reminder that dominants of both genders have their own set of problems to face. Particularly those that enjoy potentially painful activities. Telling someone you like to be hurt in certain specific ways risks them thinking you’re weird. Telling someone you like to hurt people risks them thinking you’re both weird and dangerous, no matter how much you emphasize the consensual nature of the act. Just a quick glance at the article comments will confirm the reactions that this confession can provoke from non-kinky people.

Spanked with a hairbrush

This image is taken from the Endart site, which is no longer maintained. I found it on the Who’s Sorry Now (aka spanked 2 tears) tumblr.

Beach beating

This is, I absolutely swear, my last beach based post for a while. Normally service will be resumed in the next day or so, and I’m sure everyone is breathing a big sigh of relief over that.

I’m finishing the sequence with one of the better femdom beach images I’ve seen. Both ladies in question are dressed appropriately and appear to be enjoying themselves. As for the male – hot sun, sharp sand and rapidly swung switches must make for a particularly painful experience.

Beach Domination

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

Pool furniture

Apologies for the slightly repetitive summer vacation theme here. I’m sharing a house with vanilla friends and don’t get a lot of private time to browse, write and post. It’s therefore much easier to keep riffing on a single theme.

The first image below looks fairly innocuous until you examine it closely. The second image makes it a lot clearer what’s going on. Personally I love face sitting, smothering and breathplay, but combining them with a swimming pool certainly ups the ante. Often it’s possible to sneak a little air in smothering scenes. There’s no danger of that happening here, unless your submissive happens to be packing a set of gills.

Pool breathplay scene
Pool breathplay scene
These are originally from the Men are Slaves site. I found them on the Femdom Times site.

Appropriate beach fashion

The problem of sand getting into inappropriate crevices is a well known issue with beaches. No matter how appropriately you dress, irritating gritty feelings in awkward spots are almost unavoidable. I therefore dread to think how this gentlemen must have felt at the end of the day. Tightly wrapped plastic tape and a gas mask are about as far from ideal beachwear as you can get. The ladies choices are not a lot better. In fact, if you had to come up with the worst possible things to wear on a hot sandy beach, it would probably look something like this. I guess for him at least, that might have been the idea.

Fetish beach fashion
Fetish beach fashion
The image sequence is from the Kinky Mistresses site. You can see another shot of the session in question here.

A new experience

In my recent trip to San Francisco I enjoyed an entirely new experience – attending a BDSM workshop. I was there courtesy of Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li. Having sessioned with them both on prior days, they invited me along to a piercing workshop as their demo bottom. I’d never done any kind of play at parties or open events so, always curious to try new things, I jumped at this opportunity.

It was held at a large modern dungeon with plenty of space for people to setup their individual scenes. While I was there I spotted 6 or 7 groups doing scenes, with maybe 15 to 20 people in attendance. The three of us grabbed a spot in a corner and I got naked while Yuki and Ai-Li plotted their plan of action.

The first they wanted to try was a needle zipper. They’d seen one done before by the person running the workshop and wanted to pick his brains on the right way to do it. All three of us were experienced in both piercing and zippers but none of us had tried them in combination before. So, after a few pointers from the workshop coordinator, they broke the needles out and starting threading them into place on my torso.

It was an interesting experience doing a scene as part of a workshop rather than a dedicated session. It felt a little like a craft project. There was a lot of discussion along the lines of “Hmm, that doesn’t look right. I’m going to redo that bit” and “How are you doing the knots?” and “Shall we pull it this way or more over here?” I simultaneously felt like part of the project team and also the object of the project. Which was a good feeling for me. Collaborative yet objectifying. You can see the results of their work on my torso in the following images: Top View, Side View and Up View.

When it came time to pull the zipper I heard the workshop coordinator advertising the fact and a small crowd gathered where we were. This upped the strangeness factor significantly. I was naked in front of a bunch of strangers. I’d never been on the end of a needle zipper before. And the two tops involved had never done one before. I wasn’t particularly stressed or worried, but it was kind of weird. My main concern was that I might scream like a baby when they pulled the cords.

Luckily everything went smoothly. We even captured a video of it, which can be seen here. At the start you can hear Yuki and Ai-Li debating exactly how to pull the cords. Then there’s some ooh’s and ahh’s from both me and the crowd, following by applause from the crowd and laughter from me right at the end. It wasn’t particularly painful (compared to say staple zippering), but it is quite an intense sensation as the skin is pulled and twisted by the needles. You can see the end result post pull in this image (warning – some small blood trickles).

After the zipper we moved onto a slightly more playful idea – a butt corset. The idea here to pull my two butt cheeks together with needles and elastic cord in the style of a corset. I’ve had a corset done to my back before, but never anything quite this far down. I think the end result worked out pretty well, as shown in the images here, here and here.

Overall it was a great experience and one I’d be happy to repeat. Despite the available evidence to the contrary I’m not an exhibitionist, and don’t particularly get anything from the idea of semi-public scenes. However, the scientist in me loves the idea of experimenting, trying new things out and sharing ideas. I’m also strongly attracted to the idea of being useful and contributing something. A workshop like this pushes both my masochistic and service buttons. Not to mention the fact that it’s a lot of fun to hang out with two such talented and friendly dommes as Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li.

Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li

After a post featuring lots of links to images of a naked me, I feel I should finish with something a little more visually appealing. This is Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li taken with an unidentified slave.