Tag: Corporal

Tweaking the Image

Before AI there was photoshop. A favorite tool for kinsters who wanted to modify an image to align with their preferences. I’m always amused when scrolling through tumblrs and I stumble across a photograph modified this way. In an internet awash in explicit BDSM imagery, dedicated kink fans still want to create new ones that speak to their passions.

Here’s an example I spotted on the Assertive Ladies tumblr. Originally it was from a photoshoot for a failed ABC show called Mind Games shown back in 2014. The actor is Jamie Ray Newman. I’m not sure who gave her the paddle. They did a decent job of the tweak, although there’s clearly something a little off about the pose.

A Worried Look

I dug into the archives for this one. It’s from an old tumblr dump I took some years back. I’ve no idea who the original artist is, but it looks to be set in the 50’s, judging by their clothes and appearance. Inspired perhaps by the pulp novels of that time? I love their expressions. He looks worried. She looks both predatory and scornful. The clothes being neatly folded on the chair is another nice touch for setting the scene.

Count the Ways

Marcelo recently put up a controversial tweet on the protocols of corporal play. He’s since deleted it, so I can’t quote it directly, but the main thrust was that a lot (most?) subs dislike having to count the strokes when receiving a thrashing. He suggested that it takes them out of subspace and doing a ‘thank you’ per stroke seems fake.

I’m not sure why he deleted it. Hopefully it wasn’t because he got a lot of disagreement, because I’m on his side on this one. Obviously there’s no objectively bad play style here – YMMV and I’m sure some people love that protocol. But personally I find it weird to repeatedly say thank you and the counting always pulls me out of subspace. It makes sense in a very traditional school roleplay scene, but I’m not sure why it’s so common outside that niche. Or at least, why it’s so often the default way to do a corporal scene.

The only time I’ve really enjoyed counting the strokes is when it’s done playfully. Sometimes I’m not sure if a stroke really counted or not. Was it a sighting tap or the real thing? What if I don’t count and it really was one? But if I count it, and it wasn’t one, I’ll look like a wuss! That kind of dynamic can be really fun when executed in a teasing way. But if we’re going  for a serious beating, then at least let me zone out into subspace.

I sourced this image from an old tumblr feed. Hunting around led me to this photo print by coop, which appears to be from the same series.

Georgian Sexcapades

Anyone interested in the history of kink and femdom will probably enjoy this blog post by Anne O Nomis. It gives a behind the scenes glimpse of a new TV series about the history of sex and specifically about an episode on Theresa Berkley (featured here in a previous post). Working in 1820s London, using her own studio equipped with custom BDSM furniture, she was arguable the first modern dominatrix. Although she’d not have used that term to describe herself. Hopefully the show will live up to the level of research and care that Anne O Nomis has clearly put into it.

The above image dates from 1752, slightly before Theresa Berkley’s time. It’s a British print that now resides in the Library of Congress.

Kinky Toys

One of the most surprising movie franchises in recent years has been the Lego series. None of them are the next Citizen Kane, but they’re surprisingly watchable nonsense. It blows my mind that two of the biggest creative companies in the world – Disney and Lucasfilm – can take one of the biggest franchises in the world – Star Wars – and make a total hash of the various prequels and sequels. Yet at the same time someone can take a bunch of kids plastic blocks and turn it into a successful billion dollar movie series.

Shown below are are shots from a possible new addition to that series. After Lego Batman we have Lego Baton, aka Mistress Baton as captured by Bad Legoman. Their expressions are great as are his shiny red cheeks. Come on Hollywood – a wisecracking dominatrix with a sturdy right arm would make for a great character in your next Lego movie.

You case see more shots of Lego Mistress Baton punishing her miniature submissive via the original twitter thread.

Christmas Krampus

While the UK and US put a jolly and friendly Santa at the center of their Christmas celebrations, other parts of the world feature mythological creates with a touch more edge. For example, the Krampus from central Europe is a devilish male figure who beats misbehaving children with Birch rods.

As you might expect for a figure featuring corporal punishment and humiliation, there’s inevitably artwork of a kinky adult equivalent. In this case it’s a vintage German postcard of a female Krampus who beats badly behaved men. You can some more examples of the genre here. Doubtless they were aimed at adults who’d had childhood fantasies of Krampus beatings and couldn’t quite understand the strange thrill it had given them. Today it’d be fan artwork on a image forum. Back then it was saucy postcards.

The caption translates as ‘Greetings from the Krampus.’ I sourced this originally from this tweet by the Fake History Hunter.

Tis the Season

In the US we just celebrated Thanksgiving. It’s an important event on the calendar. Reaching it can mean only one thing – time to start shopping for Christmas! While the turkey roasting pan is still soaking in the sink, people are already hitting the (online) stores for gifts.

For kinksters looking for gift ideas then let me steer you in the direction of this post by Miss Pearl. She has a number of fine suggestions from the domme perspective.

Alternatively, for fans of corporal play, I’d suggest a perusal of the London Tanners site. Daddy An Li recently received a number of their toys and enthused at length about them in this video stream. Their equipment looks to be particularly fearsome and of a high quality.

This is Daddy An Li with a heavy leather cane from the London Tanners. Image sourced via this tweet.

Note: Anything I mention or link to comes with zero benefit to me and zero guarantees. I don’t carry ads and I don’t use affiliate links. I’m just sharing what I find interesting.

Harder or Softer?

A question for masochists and sadists whose play has been curtailed by the virus: What do you think this enforced absence and isolation has done to your desire to inflict or absorb pain? Does the lack of play have you craving intense beatings and no holds barred sadism? Or has the stress and strangeness of it all left you wanting intimacy and more gentle activities?

My impression from kinky social media is that the sadists amongst us (God bless them) are craving hard play. They have pent up energy to expend and can’t wait to unleash it. The general attitude of masochists is harder to read. I’m personally unsure where my headspace is at. I’d love to play again. I miss it desperately. I’m just not sure if I’m craving pain or not. The world is so weird, and my stress levels so distorted, I really have no idea how I’ll respond when I can session again. That’s a unique state of mind for me, but I guess we’re all living through a unique situation.

This is an old image from OWK. She clearly wasn’t in a conflicted state of mind about her sadistic tendencies. Hopefully he felt the same way from the masochistic perspective.

Not Like That, Like This

My post from last week entitled Mood Killer triggered some thoughtful comments on the subject of feedback after sessions. It’s an interesting topic that rarely seems to get discussed. Pro-domme websites will often feature lots of positive comments and praise from grateful clients. Femdom sites will host review forums of highly variable quality and value. Yet it’s very rare to see feedback built into the 1 on 1 scene negotiation process. I’ve done a fair number of sessions over the years with different dommes. In all that time I think I’ve been explicitly asked for feedback just twice.

I should make it clear that my thoughts in this post are primarily about professional domination. The lifestyle dynamic, where kink is just a part of a bigger relationship picture, is obviously very different. In that case the motivation for working through issues and trying to solve mismatched desires via feedback is obviously much higher than a purely kink focused professional relationship.

My default approach when I’m playing with someone new and the scene doesn’t click is simply to not see them again. With little invested on either side, walking away is the obvious answer. I think volunteering feedback in that situation would be as pointless as writing feedback after a failed first date. Nobody needs that kind of nonsense in their life. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

It’s trickier with someone where I do feel a spark, but some parts of our scenes don’t quite work. Even with someone I know very well, I’m very reluctant to give negative feedback after a scene. However, there are a few approaches that I think work pretty well in these situations.

Emphasize the positive. This is an obvious move. Emphasize the bits you really enjoyed and make them a focus of your next pre-scene discussion.

Avoid pink elephants. This is the flipside to the above. I’ve found it’s better to totally avoid vaguely negative things in pre-scene discussion. Saying X didn’t really work last time or you’re not fond of Y makes some dommes instantly start thinking about they could fix that problem for you. Now they want to try them! You’ve mentioned the pink elephant and they can’t stop thinking about it.

Use your limits. There’s no reason to have the same set of limits for everyone you play with. They’re a function of trust and negotiation between two people, not a global declaration of your submissive capabilities. Make an activity a limit if it’s really not working for you. This is different to a pink elephant because you’re putting something very clearly out of scope rather than making it sound like a problem to be fixed.

Optimize for the dynamic. It can be tempting to focus on a favorite activity or kinky desire of the moment, but I often find it’s better to go with what works well for the two of you. Better to have an amazing spin on your 2nd favorite thing rather than an average one on your 1st.

Take a hint. Sometimes, despite using all of the above approaches, I’ll still find a domme repeatedly comes back to something that doesn’t really work for me. It might be an emotional response, an activity, an attitude or even just a practical thing around scheduling. Whatever it is, I’ve found the trick is to either make peace with it or walk away. If you’re getting frustrated by a predictable thing, then you can only blame yourself.

When it comes to dommes providing feedback to submissives the options are a little broader. Here’s one who looks pretty happy with the feedback she’s about to deliver. Hopefully he’ll take it in the constructive way it’s intended.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. As usual, if you can help me out with that then please let me know via a comment.

Community Policing

I normally like to add some color commentary when linking to articles. For this post I’m not really sure I can. This Huffington Post article and this Vancouver Sun article are quite different stories but ostensibly the same issue. A member of the BDSM community is accused of abusive behavior, the community attempts some degree of self-policing, the law gets involved, and things do not go well. While the legal issues are very different, the message is the same. It discourages people from coming forward and makes challenging abuse harder.

I’m not really involved in my local BDSM community, and have no wise words to offer here. I would love to know if there are positive cases out there where people have had success in tackling allegations of abuse in the kinky scene. It would seem we’re sorely in need of good examples to highlight and point people toward.

This drawing is by Stig, an artist who specializes in judicial and corporal scenes.