Dating by Meta

Social media is pretty bad at the best of times. However, that’s never stopped the social media companies doing the damnedest  to make it worse. Facebook used to be poster child for this, but Musk and Twitter have recently usurped them in doubling down on dumb ideas. In a valiant effort to reclaim the crown, Meta recently launched a Facebook/Instagram AI dating coach called Carter. It’s just what you always wanted – a dating coach from a bunch of nerds that learnt all it knows from cesspit of social media feeds.

Of course, given it comes from the famously puritanical Meta, it’s into kink shaming. It throws up a red flag if you want to talk about kinks and fetishes. The only exception, according to this Gizmodo article, is foot fetishism. So either the Meta folk behind it are really into feet or they’re incompetent prudes who forget to censor one of the most common kinks.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image.

Concentrated Kink

Here’s an image with a very high density of kinks. There’s all sorts of fun stuff going on – bondage, leashes, feet, heels, whips and crushing. It’s extreme, yet somehow it captures the sense of a real life play session.

Sadly, I’ve no idea where it’s from or who the creator is. I found it lurking in a obscure folder on my hard drive. I suspect I got it from a tumblr years ago. Reverse image search didn’t turn up any useful leads.

Fun for all Concerned

There’s one particular type of femdom shot I never enjoy. It’s the ones where it looks like the domme isn’t having any fun. I don’t mean shots where the domme looks angry or displeased. Getting mad at someone – even if its only roleplaying – can be cathartic. I mean ones where it’s hard to imagine what the domme is getting out of the scene.

Foot worship shots can be some of the worst for this. A respectful kiss or a shoe shine scene can be sexy. Even face tramping has appeal from a masochist/sadist perspective. But there’s a lot of shots out there where the primary adjectives that spring to my mind are slobbery, sticky and bored.

Here’s a great counter-example of a foot worship scene done right. Everyone looks like they’re getting something out of it. There’s even some grapes on the side for her to snack on while getting her feet massaged and cleaned. It’s all very thoughtful.

I’ve afraid I don’t know who this is or who created it. If you can help with an attribution, please let me know via a comment.

Update: Thanks to two helpful commenters, I’m attributing this to Rina Trevi. I haven’t found the original version to prove it 100%, but this seems correct.  She’s an Austin based vulnerability coach. You can find her Twitter here and professional site here.

She’s Got the Look

If you asked 100 random people to describe the the look of a domme or dominatrix, what do you think they’d say? I’d guess a lot of their descriptions would mention accessories like leather, boots, whips, corsets, etc. Or they might bring up attitudes and expressions like being cold, cruel, aloof, icy, etc. However, what if you forced them to leave out anything about clothing, accessories and attitude? Is there a particular classic look or specific physical characteristics that would be frequently mentioned in our theoretical survey? Also, would it matter if the people surveyed were drawn from the general population or from the kink community?

I should add at this point that this question is nothing to do with how a domme should look. There’s obviously no right way for anyone to look, regardless of kinks, gender or sexual preference. I’m just curious about the stereotypes and cultural expectations we get implanted with. It was a topic that came up in a recent twitter thread with Miss Pearl and I thought I’d revisit it via the blog.

I’ll save my opinion on the question for the next post. For an image I wanted something that wouldn’t bias any comments, so here’s something with the submissive as the focus. I love the contrast between the tender kiss and the squeeze.

I’m afraid I don’t have the source for this image.

Ariel on OnlyFans

My friends have occasionally accused me of being lazy. I like to say I’m not lazy, I’m just an efficient time optimizer. Put off a task for long enough and it’ll often naturally resolve itself or cease to be important. Anything that does make it past a good healthy period of procrastination is probably important.

As an illustration of my method, I give you this rather silly article on OnlyFans by Louise Perry in the New Statesman. It was in my backlog to post about and throw stones at. Fortunately, while I was putting off doing that, Ariel Anderssen wrote this excellent response to it. She’s not only a smarter and a better writer than me but, as an OnlyFans creator, she can speak from a position of authority. So I saved time and my readers got a link to a much better analysis than the rubbish I was planning on writing.

The only thing I’ll tack on is a comment about the politics of the original piece. For those that have never heard of it, the New Stateman is a politically left magazine from the UK. I expect the right to be negative about sex work but I find it depressing how often it’s also attacked by the left.

The right’s objections are predictably based around morality, religion and enforcing social standards. They focus on the sex part, which should obviously be between a man and his wife, preferably in the missionary position with the lights out. The left typically object to the work part, suggesting that sex work is inherently exploitative, both for the seller and the buyer. There are no grey area for them. Formerly moderate lefties in other areas will turn into Marxists when sex enters the marketplace.

There also seems to be an underlying streak of puritanism in the left’s objections. Not the fake morality of the right, but more a sense that people enjoying themselves is somehow unfair. When reading the New Statesman article I couldn’t help thinking of the H. L. Mencken famous definition of puritanism  as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy”. In this particular case it seems to be a fear that someone might be happy and someone else might make a living from that fact. A truly terrible set of circumstances.


Ariel Anderssen is a  sub BDSM model, so most of her images aren’t well suited to this blog. However, I did think my foot loving readers might appreciate this one I found on her twitter feed. For anyone who does appreciate some beautifully done female submission, then her OnlyFans is available here.

Twinkle Toes

Just after writing my previous post on the subject of kink and shame, I stumbled across this Savage Love column. I think the first letter there is a good grounding point for those of us who spend a lot of time on BDSM sites and following like minded people on social media. It’s easy to get blase about kinks and forget that for a lot of people they can come as a shock.

The letter in question features a guy whose boyfriend is into feet and has a thing for painting toe nails. As kinks go, I can’t really think of a more harmless one. A foot fetish is very common and painting a partners toenails seems kind of cute whatever the gender combination. Yet the letter writer – someone who regularly read Savage Love and claimed to be GGG – seemed weirdly freaked by the idea. I think Dan nails the answer, but the fact the writer felt the need to pose the question is a good data point in itself.

When it comes to foot lovers, Quentin Tarantino is an obvious go to. This is him in a publicity shoot with Diane Kruger for his movie Inglorious Bastards. It was shot for the NY Time Magazine.

Mixing it Up

I like the kinky contrasts being employed here. I usual think of foot worship being a fairly gentle and relaxed kink. It’s almost mainstream it’s so popular in Femdom. Suspension in contrast is one of those serious kinks that requires taking a dozen classes, having a proper hard point available and being willing to devote serious time to get everything balanced properly. It’s rare to see those two mixed together, making this a particularly fun image.

This is obviously an older image from the kink.com family and features Madeline Marlowe. 

Stinky Socks

After mentioning scentplay in my previous post, this seems an appropriate image to post as a followup. It’s tough to communicate a smell via a jpg, but I think this does a pretty good job.

It’s interesting how many kinks are associated with feet. There’s obviously your basic foot fetish, but there’s also kinks around high heels, boots, sandals, nylons and sweaty socks like this. Some foot fetishists can trace their kinks back to formative experiences as youngsters crawling or sitting near the feet of adults. Given the number of foot related kinks, it seems likely a lot of fetishists pick up their interests in similar ways, even if they can’t all remember it.

I’m think artist goes by the handle of pii (taromura). The woman’s look is a fashion trend known as Ganguro.

Kinky Equivalent of 69

Here’s a cute image of shared mutual pleasure. She gets a comfy spot to dominate him and drink her tea. He gets to make her happy and enjoy her feet smooshed in his face.

I’m not into feet as a kink, but this is an image that still appeals to me. Their contrasting facial expression with the shared connection via the cup and saucer really make it work.

The artist is signed as Suzy. I think that’s Suzy Q who has this instagram and is Lady Suzy Q, a specialist in foot fetish sessions (twitter site here). However, given I’m working via translation tools, it’s hard to be 100% sure. Image originally sourced from this tweet.

Adjusting His Level

Here’s a somewhat unusual way to do foot worship. I can’t tell if it’s clever or really lazy. I think I’m going to work on the assumption that it’s a hello or goodbye moment, and so he’s paused briefly on the stairs to mark that. Not that he’s been standing halfway up his staircase for the last 20 minutes because he can’t be bothered to kneel down. I certainly can’t imagine that the white wood railing is doing much to improve the kinky mood.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.