Normal service is restored

I’m back in the big city after an interesting weekend away. While I enjoyed relaxing and reading on a deck overlooking the ocean, being the only single guy in a gathering of many couples was less fun. I didn’t particularly want to take long walks hand-in-hand on the beach, particularly since it rained a lot of the time, but having the option would have been nice.

Anyway, given I’m no longer dealing with a swarm of young children, normal kinky blogging service will be resumed. This seems an appropriate image to return with. It looks more like a lake than an ocean, but it is suitably outdoors and water related. I’m not sure if she’s doing a victory pose or simply a model pose, but either way it makes me smile.

Outdoor PoseI’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution. I found this on the Sado Girl tumblr.

A short interruption

Posting may be a bit erratic for the next couple of days. I’m currently on a small island a couple of hours north of Seattle helping a friend celebrate his birthday. Normally I’d have no problem kicking out a few posts between drinks and birthday cake, but we’ve rented a shared house on the beach, and most of my friends have young children. This is not conducive to browsing femdom imagery or writing about kinky shenanigans. I never know when an inquisitive face will appear over my shoulder. Uncle paltego doesn’t want to have to explain why this young lady is sporting a fake horn in an odd place.

FakeHornI found this on Mistress Justine’s tumblr.

Are you OK?

This is a cute and appealing work of art. It manages to be playful and still hit an emotional note. However, that’s not why I featured it. I picked it out because it makes an important point that rarely gets the attention it deserves. The web is full of sexy imagery and descriptions of people doing crazy kinky stuff. There’s an endless parade of people apparently enjoying whatever their partner chooses to throw at them. Sites like kink.com may feature pre and post session interviews, but I’ve yet to see a clip where someone stopped and re-negotiated the scene once it had started. Blogs like this one talk a lot about great scenes, a bit about abusive dysfunctional scenes, but very little about scenes that start with the best of intentions but end up reaching emotional or physical roadblocks.

The reality is that consent is a continuous process. It’s not a box to be ticked pre-scene. Playing with a partner is not a competitive sport, where the goal is to finish or to achieve some previously agreed level of kink. Something that starts well may unexpectedly twist and go sour on you. Even if the fantasy was hot, there’s no guarantee about the reality. I’m sure most submissives have been in this situation where something isn’t right, yet we’re reluctant to stop and disappoint our partners. We act OK, kind-of, right up until we get that clear option to stop. Learning to spot the warning signs and then acting on them correctly is a skill both sides have to develop.

Part1
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I’m not exactly sure who the artist is for this. The earliest tumblr posting I can find is this one, but I’m not clear if it was posted by the actual artist or not.

More fun for less dollars

This is the last in my trio of equipment related posts. Two days ago it was a bed costing thousands of dollars. Yesterday it was whips costing hundreds of dollars. Today it’s clothespins, costing less than ten dollars. That’s one of the great things about kinky play. If you want to spend thousands of dollars outfitting a dedicated play space (image from here), then it’s easy to do so. Alternatively, you can have a great time just spending a few bucks down your local hardware store. Or slapping, scratching, biting and kissing for exactly zero dollars.

ClothespinsThe image is from the Cruelty Party site.

Swinging her tail

I’m continuing my equipment theme from yesterday’s post. That one was about beds and this one is on whips.

It was prompted by the the people over at Mojave Outliers dropped me a nice email asking if I’d list their site on my equipment page. I get a fair number of these kind of emails, typically for what look cookie cutter e-commerce sites with a random grab bag of cheap BDSM toys on them. However, the Mojave Outliers site is nicely put together and shows a real passion for the whips, floggers and general swingy things that they’re creating. They’ve got a wide variety of different custom made whips on offer and I was happy to list them.

I should be clear that I’ve no personal experience with their products, and I certainly don’t make any money from posting about them! I just enjoy discovering people who are passionate about what they do and have the skill to create beautiful equipment for others to enjoy. Plus, it gives me an excuse to feature the image below.

Catwoman Cosplay

This is a Cat Woman Cosplay by Margie Cox, as photographed by Lou Raimondi. It’s almost certainly not a whip from the folks at Mojave Outliers. And given the Margie is a cosplayer rather than a BDSM enthusiast (at least as far as I know), she’s probably not about to whip anyone with it. But I like the image all the same.

Flaunting it

Some BDSM beds are subtle. They blend seamlessly into their surroundings with understated elegance, faintly whispering a promise of discreet bondage fun to come. This is not one of those. This screams that when your neighbors are settling down for the night with a mug of cocoa and a good book, you’ll be hanging upside down from the end of the bed while your significant other attaches clothespins to your genitals. It’s not a piece of furniture that could be easily explained away should an elderly relative inadvertently open the wrong door.

Of course if you can afford a dedicate playroom, want to host fancy BDSM parties, work as a pro-domme or simply don’t care what anyone thinks, this might be just the thing. If so the manufacturer is Restrained Engineering Design (RED) and you can see more pictures in their gallery. Alternatively, if you like the look and functionality of a metal frame, but don’t want to risk giving Aunty Gladys a heart attack, then Metal Bound have some more subtle alternatives.

Bondage Bed from RED

Site Updates

I’ve refreshed the Femdom Image page. Dead or dormant sites have been removed and I’ve added a selection of new links. The new additions are…

Hopefully there will be something of interest in that list for a wide variety of my readers.

The image below I found via one of the new sites (Mia Findomme). It’s originally from the CBT and Ballbusting site and features Catherine de Sade. You can see an animated gif from the same scene on my tumblr.

Catherine de Sade

Clothes make the man

I’m not really a fetishist. I’ve never asked a domme to wear a particular outfit and, much as I appreciate the aesthetics of traditional latex and leather S&M outfits, I can also happily play without them.

Smart clothes on the other hand, that’s a whole different story. I love getting dressed up and going out with people who feel the same way. Seattle is a wonderful city in many respects, but fashion and dressing for dinner is not a big thing here. My suits have probably got more hours clocked in suitcases at 30,000 feet than they have being worn in Seattle. Seeing a well dressed couple moving together through a restaurant or bar always makes me happy. There’s something very right about that scene.

This particular image is Michael Fassbender in GQ. He looks great, and the position of her gloved hand really makes the shot.

Suit

Mutually thrilling, kinky lovemaking (and EL James)

Reading mainstream articles on kink is always a hit and miss affair. On the glass half full side, they’re typically a lot better than they were even two or three years ago. Kink has infiltrated society from many different routes. While before it was either ignored or treated as a ‘laugh at the freaks’ topic, it now gets addressed more seriously (with just an undercurrent of laughing at the freaks). On the glass half empty side, it’s difficult to find a mainstream article on kink that doesn’t get something horribly wrong.

This article from the London Evening Standard is a good case in point. It’s generally pretty positive, giving a potted history of the terminology, and emphasizing the need for consent and mutual experimentation. Unfortunately, it also invokes EL James and 50 shades as a great example of defining boundaries and healthy S&M.

In Fifty Shades, EL James took care to delineate a relationship in which the sub-missive, Ana, had discussed and agreed her boundaries. ‘The prejudice around the whole subject is terrible,’ James told me. ‘Nothing makes me angrier than critics who suggested the book was about abuse. It demonises people who enjoy this lifestyle.’

I think reading that sprained my brain. EL James writes about a horribly fucked up abusive relationship that has no connection to healthy BDSM (as documented at length here), and then claims critics were the ones conflating abuse with BDSM. That attitude makes me think she should run for political office. It would be a shame to waste a degree of self-delusion that strong.

I hate to end on a negative note, so here’s a fun image of a couple who look like they’re genuinely enjoying the lifestyle. This seems to fit the final paragraph in the article, which invokes the “joyfulness of mutually thrilling, kinky lovemaking.”

Cute Couple

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. I found it on the Work Is Never Over tumblr.

Not the brightest bulb

I’m not sure what’s the appeal of objectification as a lamp. I certainly get the hotness of objectification in general. It’s just the lamp part that puzzles me. Isn’t part of being objectified about being a useful object? Footstools, toilets, dildos and even shelves make sense to me, but no matter how sparkling their personality, it’s impossible for someone to literally light up a room.

This isn’t the first time I’ve run across this kink. You can see past examples here and here. I’ve never heard anyone declare themselves a lamp fetishist, or read erotic fiction on intertwined anglepoise, or spotted a saucy looking lampshade in a domme’s toy chest. Yet people are making images of it. Good for them and their kinks, but consider me puzzled.

Made with Repix (http://repix.it)
Lamp_1_by_LeBete
I found both of these on the Domination on My terms tumblr. The second one is from LeBete on deviant art. I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for the first.