Femdom Resource – Page 187 – The beauty of dominant women

Giving thanks

Miss Margo’s latest post – My Night with the Sailor – isn’t femdom at all, but one part of it made me smile and put me in mind of when I play. As the post title suggests, it features a sexual encounter with a naval man, and this was the part that caught my eye…

He thanked me for the sex…well, he didn’t say “Thanks for the sex,” he just said “thank you” after he came. It always makes me feel weird when guys thank me for sex. I don’t know why.

I have two consistent reactions after kinky play or even vanilla sex. One is laughter and the other is to say thank you. Neither are directed at a specific thing. I’m not laughing at what just happened or saying thank you for hitting me with stuff (although I’m always grateful for anyone doing that). The laughter is a joyous thing. It can be a release of tension after a particularly intense scene, it can be a sense of ‘Wow, I can’t believe we pulled that crazy thing off”, but mostly it’s just an expression of happiness and well-being. Similarly, the thank you isn’t about being polite or acknowledging a debt. It’s far more general. It’s a thank you for being alive, for being into kink, for being open to a shared experience, for being there in that moment with me. Whether I’m getting sweaty in the sheets or being beaten and tormented, the end result makes me very happy, and laughter and thanks are my natural way to acknowledge that.

I found this image on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr. I picked for the combination of sex and what looks like happy laughter. It seemed appropriate to the topic but also vaguely familiar. It wasn’t till I came to post it that I figured out where it was from. Before looking at the attribution below it, can you name the actors and the movie?

This is actually Ewan McGregor & Kelly Macdonald from the movie Trainspotting. In the context of a femdom tumblr, with comments on tickling, I interpreted it quite differently to how it looked when I came to view it in isolation.

Serves you right

This beautiful piece of artwork is called ‘Serves you right‘ and is by the artist UkimEn. It features the characters Mirai and Akihito from the series Kyoukai_no_Kanata. I’m not familiar with the source material, but I do think this is very sweet. However, what is with his socks? I’ve blogged about socks in femdom material in the past (for example here and here), but I think this is the first time I’ve seen them pop up in femdom artwork. No matter, it’s still a great picture.

The sex selfie

Is it really a selfie if it’s a shot of more than one person? Isn’t that simply a group portrait, so it should really be a grolfie? Also, why hasn’t the endlessly creative internet come up with a catchy name for a sex selfie yet? What is that infinite collection of monkeys playing around at?

I realize these questions are probably not top of mind for the gentleman below, but they’re the kind of things that can keep me awake at nights. I could really use a suitably positioned naked bottom to distract me.

I found this on the Femdom Marriage tumblr. Thanks to a helpful comment I can now attribute the original source to Sex Tales of a Diva.

Mind the gap

After yesterday’s flat and lifeless celebrity shots, I thought I’d put up an example of a mainstream photographer getting it right. This is by the fashion and beauty photographer Serge Krouglikoff, and shows a much better understanding of a kinky dynamic.

There’s no elaborate leather or latex gear. Their white tops and dark bottoms are perhaps a little cliched, but it’s a classic look for a reason. There’s no whips, chains or dungeon paraphernalia. Their respective hand positions convey the power dynamic, but it’s that tantalizing tiny gap between them that I really like. It’s an invasion of personal space, threatening yet also intimate. Close enough to catch the scent of the other. Close enough to breath a kiss or deliver a slap. Teasing and yet also withholding. It gives me a frisson down my spine, and makes me think of those occasional moments of perfect balance that occur in a scene.

Fetish fail

I could start a blog based purely on showing terrible representations of kink and fetish in celebrity culture. The commonest scenario is describing any celebrity dress with a hint of straps, leather or latex as a dominatrix outfit (for example this recent article). That’s just journalists being lazy and cliched, but now and again you get cases where the celebrities and artists have been the ones to make a hash of things. The recent photoshoot for V magazine, featuring Katy Perry and Madonna, is a great example of this.

They’re obviously going for a retro-fetish look, probably inspired by Bettie Page, but they don’t have a fraction of the presence she brought to her shots. Somebody should explain to them that fetish and kink are all about powerful desires and sexual attraction. And, as with all powerful feelings, they can risk invoking aspects of darkness, danger, yearning and compulsion. There’s none of that in these shots. Just two women wearing silly outfits and exhibiting no chemistry together. Although is narcissism a fetish? If it is, then they could at least have one fetishistic element covered.

Normal service is restored

I’m back in the big city after an interesting weekend away. While I enjoyed relaxing and reading on a deck overlooking the ocean, being the only single guy in a gathering of many couples was less fun. I didn’t particularly want to take long walks hand-in-hand on the beach, particularly since it rained a lot of the time, but having the option would have been nice.

Anyway, given I’m no longer dealing with a swarm of young children, normal kinky blogging service will be resumed. This seems an appropriate image to return with. It looks more like a lake than an ocean, but it is suitably outdoors and water related. I’m not sure if she’s doing a victory pose or simply a model pose, but either way it makes me smile.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution. I found this on the Sado Girl tumblr.

A short interruption

Posting may be a bit erratic for the next couple of days. I’m currently on a small island a couple of hours north of Seattle helping a friend celebrate his birthday. Normally I’d have no problem kicking out a few posts between drinks and birthday cake, but we’ve rented a shared house on the beach, and most of my friends have young children. This is not conducive to browsing femdom imagery or writing about kinky shenanigans. I never know when an inquisitive face will appear over my shoulder. Uncle paltego doesn’t want to have to explain why this young lady is sporting a fake horn in an odd place.

I found this on Mistress Justine’s tumblr.

Are you OK?

This is a cute and appealing work of art. It manages to be playful and still hit an emotional note. However, that’s not why I featured it. I picked it out because it makes an important point that rarely gets the attention it deserves. The web is full of sexy imagery and descriptions of people doing crazy kinky stuff. There’s an endless parade of people apparently enjoying whatever their partner chooses to throw at them. Sites like kink.com may feature pre and post session interviews, but I’ve yet to see a clip where someone stopped and re-negotiated the scene once it had started. Blogs like this one talk a lot about great scenes, a bit about abusive dysfunctional scenes, but very little about scenes that start with the best of intentions but end up reaching emotional or physical roadblocks.

The reality is that consent is a continuous process. It’s not a box to be ticked pre-scene. Playing with a partner is not a competitive sport, where the goal is to finish or to achieve some previously agreed level of kink. Something that starts well may unexpectedly twist and go sour on you. Even if the fantasy was hot, there’s no guarantee about the reality. I’m sure most submissives have been in this situation where something isn’t right, yet we’re reluctant to stop and disappoint our partners. We act OK, kind-of, right up until we get that clear option to stop. Learning to spot the warning signs and then acting on them correctly is a skill both sides have to develop.

I’m not exactly sure who the artist is for this. The earliest tumblr posting I can find is this one, but I’m not clear if it was posted by the actual artist or not.

More fun for less dollars

This is the last in my trio of equipment related posts. Two days ago it was a bed costing thousands of dollars. Yesterday it was whips costing hundreds of dollars. Today it’s clothespins, costing less than ten dollars. That’s one of the great things about kinky play. If you want to spend thousands of dollars outfitting a dedicated play space (image from here), then it’s easy to do so. Alternatively, you can have a great time just spending a few bucks down your local hardware store. Or slapping, scratching, biting and kissing for exactly zero dollars.

The image is from the Cruelty Party site.

Swinging her tail

I’m continuing my equipment theme from yesterday’s post. That one was about beds and this one is on whips.

It was prompted by the the people over at Mojave Outliers dropped me a nice email asking if I’d list their site on my equipment page. I get a fair number of these kind of emails, typically for what look cookie cutter e-commerce sites with a random grab bag of cheap BDSM toys on them. However, the Mojave Outliers site is nicely put together and shows a real passion for the whips, floggers and general swingy things that they’re creating. They’ve got a wide variety of different custom made whips on offer and I was happy to list them.

I should be clear that I’ve no personal experience with their products, and I certainly don’t make any money from posting about them! I just enjoy discovering people who are passionate about what they do and have the skill to create beautiful equipment for others to enjoy. Plus, it gives me an excuse to feature the image below.

This is a Cat Woman Cosplay by Margie Cox, as photographed by Lou Raimondi. It’s almost certainly not a whip from the folks at Mojave Outliers. And given the Margie is a cosplayer rather than a BDSM enthusiast (at least as far as I know), she’s probably not about to whip anyone with it. But I like the image all the same.