This post may meander past some odd topics but, unless things go radically off course, it will finish with some femdom. So stick around. Or not. Your call.
A few days ago, on my post about a boy who locked himself in his parents handcuffs, hmp commented that kids will find everything. I don’t have children, but my own childhood would certainly validate his comment. My parents didn’t have kinky toys, but they did have a couple of sex manuals, including the famously illustrated Joy of Sex. In the days before widespread consumer internet, and with no cable tv, this was my equivalent of kink.com cross with late night Cinemax. No matter where my parents hid it, and they certainly tried lots of places, I could always find it. It was like ESP, only with less ouija boards and more used tissues.
You’d think that reading an educational sex manual designed for loving couples would be good preparation for actually having sex. That it’d help me be a more caring and sensitive partner. And it’s true that I didn’t grow up thinking that a violent jack-hammering followed by semen all over their face was what most women were looking for. Sadly however, none of its wise words stuck with me when I (finally) encountered a real naked and eager woman. Absolutely the only thing I remembered was that it advised men to always take their socks off before removing their trousers (pants in the US) to avoid looking silly. I did that. I was very pleased with myself. My thought process was “Remember socks then trousers … remember socks then trousers … good job … looking pretty suave … naked lady … real naked lady … wow … errrr … is this the foreplay thingy? … I guess I lick … something … maybe …”
Even today when I’m getting naked with someone new, that memory comes back to me. I only wish a few more male porn models and photographers had read the same book, as silly looking naked men in socks crop up all the time. Just in the last few weeks my posts have featured this guy, this guy and this guy. The image below is another good case in point. Admittedly the Joy of Sex didn’t have anything to say about getting undressed when you’re about to be anally and orally penetrated on a couch by two women wielding strap-ons. Perhaps it would have given a pass in this situation, but I kind of doubt it.
This image is from the Girls Abuse Guys site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.
Nice post. Like you, I learned everything about sex from THAT book. Snuck into my parents room and read it, probably dozens of times. They also had a book called “everything you always wanted to know about sex…but were afraid to ask” (something like that).
I certainly do not recall seeing any kinky toys (thank God) but I have been a bit concerned lately about my kids peering into our little tool box (literally, that’s what it is).
I don’t recall the specific instruction about sock removal order. I agree, that socks-only is not a good look. On one of the occassions we watched porn together (there were few), my wife asked the question: why do all porn actresses wear shoes? I found an answer to that: porn sets aren’t that clean, and it’s to protect against that. Kinda ruined it for me. But shoes can be sexy on a woman though, no socks though…
If you don’t yet have a lock on your toolbox, I’d suggest getting one 🙂
When it comes to high heel shoes and porn actresses I think a lot of it comes down to fetish and a particular look. Keeping clean might be one reason, possibly the primary and initial reason back in the day, but at this point I think it’s also a thing guys fetishize. Wearing heels while screwing denotes a particular type of woman to some men I think.
-paltego
‘The Joy of Sex’ came too late for my generation. There were rather dry, technical works that could be borrowed from the public library but one had to give detailed reasons for borrowing them.
At least they placed some emphasis on the importance of mutual pleasuring and drew attention to the importance of orgasm for women as well as men.
What my peers knew about sex was largely furtive, dysfunctional, and steeped in lewd, sneering mysogyny, so the classroom or the changing rooms were really bad places to learn anything about women or sex.
In short, not a good time to be discovering one’s sexuality. It took a long time, and kink was not on the agenda. Still, better late than never I suppose.
I think my parents also had a couple of those ‘dry technical works’. The ones I’m thinking of were 1950’s guides to a good marriage, with absolutely no illustrations. Even as a naive and horny teenager I recognized them for the anachronisms they were. Although I kind of wish they’d kept them, because they’d be kind of amusing to read now.
As you say, it’s better late than never when it comes to one’s sexuality. The crazy amount of porn around might be a problem for teenagers, but at least the current generation will be aware of the breadth of human sexuality.
-paltego
On my tumblr, I’m rather known for my aversion to boys in socks. I hate it. I think it detracts from the mood, the scene, the image. Bleh.
My understanding is that gay male porn generally views the sock thing as something “hot”. It’s sort of required.
Since a lot of what I like visually crosses boundaries with gay male porn, I come across entirely too many pictures of hot bound guys…in socks.
I have absolutely no idea why that trend has carried over to other types of porn. Bleh.
That’s interesting. I didn’t realize that socks where a think in gay male porn. Although that does explain why so many of the sole male bondage shots I find have them. I’m kind of puzzled why it’s hot though. Like you I’m really not a fan. It looks ridiculous.
There are a lot of socks on women in femdom porn as well, but I think that’s a foot or smell fetish thing to some guys. It’s not my thing, although I do understand it a little more.
-paltego