The beauty of dominant women
Continuing the theme of eye contact, here’s a great image from the movie From Dusk Till Dawn. This is George Clooney and Salma Hayek. I’ve written about Tarantino’s foot fetish in the past, and when watching his movies it’s pretty clear he has a well developed kinky side.
I found this on the Classy Femdom tumblr.
My rant on blindfolds in the previous post prompted a comment from Simon that highlighted the value of eye contact when playing. I didn’t explicitly call that issue out, but he’s absolutely right. Forget fancy fetish outfits, crazy kinky activities and intense sexual fantasies. The simplest and most effective thing a domme can do to push my buttons is combine pain with eye contact.
It’s really a feedback process. The domme is studying me and reacting to my expression. In turn I’m responding to her interest and focus on me. It’s a curious blend of objectification and intimacy. Being played like an instrument, with pain simple the mechanism to achieve a desired response, is objectifying. Yet we’re both feeding off each others reactions and emotions, which is an intimate exchange. I love to see a smile as I scream.
Not a lot of pain being inflicted in this image, but I do like the pose and the eye contact.
I should give you fair warning, this post might be a bit of a rant. In the past I’ve vented here on topics like flirting with limits and cold playspaces. Today I’m going to take on a very popular BDSM accessory – the blindfold.
I’ll admit upfront that there are good situations for using a blindfold. They clearly work well as part of a sensory deprivation scene. If you want to change a routine up and introduce some surprises then a blindfold can help with that dynamic. They’re also great for beginners to reduce the pressure on the domme. He can let his imagine run wild while she has time to figure out exactly how the cuffs are supposed to work. What I don’t understand is why they’re so popular outside these situations. They often seem to get incorporated because they can be, rather than as a necessary component of a larger plan.
I’m particularly puzzled by how often pro-dommes tend to use them. I think it’s fair to say that most pro-dommes are very attractive women. That might not be a requirement of the job, but it’s unarguably a significant advantage. They also tend to spend a lot of money on exciting fetish gear and sexy footwear. So why on earth would they want to slap a blindfold on me so I don’t get to experience that visual pleasure? I’ve heard that it’s so I can use my imagination, but frankly I have the rest of my life to use my imagination. I’m paying money so, just for a few hours, I can enjoy an amazing reality that’s better than my kinky imagination.
The other strange thing I’ve observed is that blindfolds often seem to get used in initial sessions when the dominant and myself are still getting to know one another. That really doesn’t make much sense to me. It’s tough to quickly build the kind of dynamic necessary for intense play when you only see one another for a couple of hours ever few weeks or months. So why would you want to put up a barrier to make it harder to build the necessary chemistry? If I know someone intimately, then a blindfold can represent an interesting twist on that relationship. But if I met you for the first time 30 minutes ago, a blindfold just means a stranger I can’t see and don’t know is now hurting me. That might be a kink for some, but I doubt it is for most submissives. Pain is only hot in context, and absent a history together, a blindfold takes a lot of that context away.
I’ll admit I’ve had some fun sessions with blindfolds. I remember a scene with Lydia featuring saran wrap mummification, ear plugs, a blindfold and an e-stim device that almost pushed me into a hallucinatory state. I had difficulty speaking at the end of that. But in that case there was a very clear reason for the blindfold, and it was done when Lydia and myself had already played together for a hundred hours plus. I’ve done a lot more sessions with other dommes where the blindfold only subtracted from the scene and made it that much harder to relax into the moment.
Feel free to leave a comment if violently disagree (or agree) with me on this. I’m curious if it’s just me who feels this way, or if there’s a perspective (particularly from the domme side) that I’ve missed.
I believe this image is by Miss May of the Fetish Webmistress site.
Trying to dig up dirt dirt on your political opponents is a time honored trick. Liberal Democrat candidate Dean Stone seemed to be giving it a shot when he emailed his opponent to ask if she had ‘anything embarrassing’ in her past. Admittedly, simply asking your opponent to simply volunteer political ammunition is pretty dumb, but at least it follows the basic formula. However, he then decided to give the old storyline a new twist, by sending her a naked picture of himself, partly dressed as a mouse and with a dominatrix. Presumably he thought she might not have been clear what he meant by ’embarrassing’, and thought that a personal example might really clarify his original request.
In today’s climate, it’s tough to set new standards for dumb political decisions. I really thought America had this sewn up. Yet Mr Stone has made a strong play here to bring Britain back into contention. Sadly, despite his cunning plan, he ended up coming 6th out of 6 candidates, so clearly the British voters aren’t on board with this new approach. Maybe he should try giving the White House a call? They seem to like out-of-the-box thinkers who can do exciting new things with social media.
Of course if Servitor had his way, male politicians and voters would be a thing of the past.
Apparently in Japan it’s permissible for women to slap male drivers who don’t apply the brakes smoothly. I base this unlikely statement on this advert from Nissan and the fact that advertisers have never lied to me. Femdom fans should therefore avoid at all costs Nissan’s new e-Power system, with threatens to put an end to all to this facial brutality.
Based on its style, this face slapping artwork is clearly by Namio Harukawa.
Apologies in advance – I’m off to the wilds of Oregon for the weekend, so there’ll be no new posts until I’m back. I normally wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere without internet access, but I have family in town, and they wanted to see a bit more of the US than was visible from my usual haunts of urban cocktail bars and restaurants.
If anyone is looking for some alternative entertainment while I’m gone, I noticed that Midori had done a couple of podcasts on her Forte Femme course. You can listen to part 1 and part 2 here. If I’m honest I found the interviewer a little annoying, as everything was awesome and amazing. I’d personally have preferred a more investigative and inquisitive approach, but your mileage may vary.
Hopefully I’ll be back on Sunday with new posts. That is unless I’m captured and ravaged by a wild roaming dominatrix, as captured in this rare photograph. I know what to do when encountering a bear or a cougar in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, but what about a domme of the forest? Based on my knowledge of the urban domme, I’m guessing the answer is probably a cock shot of some sort. That’s probably better than bear spray when it comes to ensuring everyone stays a long way away from you.
This is from the lovely Goddess Jessica’s twitter feed.
I’ve played in hotel rooms a good number of times, and generally had a fun experience. With the right dynamic and a bit of ingenuity you can do all sorts of scenes with a small travel bag of toys. And, as I’ve posted before, playing in a more downmarket location can sometimes have thrills all of its own.
Mistress Chiaki is clearly not a subscriber to that particular approach, given this shot of what looks like a beautiful hotel room and a truly awesome collection of toys. I’ve seen professional dungeons with less equipment than that. I hope she has a retinue of beefy slaves to pack it all up and carry it around for her.
This is from her blog in a post back in April this year.
Mistress Sidonia has put together a very comprehensive list of gag types, spread across a pair of posts here and here. It’s a handy reference for anyone looking for new toys or techniques to try, as well as those who like to go through lists ticking off what they’ve tried to date.
One thing that always amuses me about gags is how many dommes love the drool they produce. There may be some dommes out there who don’t care about gag drool, but if there are, I’ve never met them. I’ve seen plenty of dommes complaining about submissives slobbering over their feet or dribbling onto their outfits, but somehow gag drool is never an issue. It’s either hot, funny, cute or all of the above.
This image is by Joachim Baldauf for Paper Planes magazine.
As I mentioned in past posts, I was fortunate enough to play with Domina Yuki and Mistress Chloe Mercury in San Francisco last week. Domina Yuki even took timeout from tormenting me to snap a few pictures of our sessions. Luckily for all my readers the play space had a big mirror, which means in addition to my dangly naked bits, the picture also feature the beautiful Domina Yuki.
This one was from the first session we did. There’s some plastic clips on my torso and a well bound package getting squeezed. Domina Yuki draping her leg across my torso was a nice touch. It’s simultaneously sensual, constraining and a position of dominance.
This shows some interesting leg bondage using a combination of leather and ropes. You can see some play piercing on my chest. The obscured piercing on the other side was slightly higher and in the nipple.
I always enjoy suspension bondage, but it’s normally a really lengthy and un-fun thing to set-up. This arrangement, from our second session, using a leather harness and cuffs was great because it gave the same floaty sense of helplessness while taking just minutes to arrange. Plus, it was comfortable, meaning I could focus on the stuff that was actually supposed to hurt, rather than pinching ropes or awkward weight distribution. The weights hanging from the scrotum don’t look much in this shot, but at the time it felt like a medium sized cannonball was suspended there. Particularly when Yuki gave them a kick.
This trip was the first time I ever got to experience a Venus device. It was a surprisingly effective toy. Yuki had it set-up to provide enough stimulation to give me hope – but not quite enough to reach a point of criticality. Frustration ensued. Having it combined with an electroshock device on the cock made for a seriously confusing sensory mix. Having my breathing constrained – in the best possible way – was another layer of sensation to deal with.
It was a fabulous few hours of play, and I consider myself very lucky to get to play with such a talented domme. I really need to try and make it down to San Francisco more often.
This shot is of Domina Yuki and Mistress Chloe with another lucky slave. It’s take from their twitter feeds. I didn’t get to do a double domme session with them, but for anyone interested in that, now would be a perfect time to try it. They’re offering $100 off double session for the next month. I have to imagine that it’d be quite the experience.
A little humor to start the week. From the style it’s obviously from the New Yorker magazine, and was created by Alex Gregory. I found it via Miss Grey’s twitter feed. Maybe a fun roleplay idea for those into humiliation in their scenes? After all, opening up to a therapist does expose all sorts of tender spots to take a metaphorical poke at.
