The beauty of dominant women
After a couple of text heavy posts I think it’s time for something a little more visually appealing. I always aim for a blend of “Hmm, interesting…” and “Wow, that’s hot.” I believe we’re due for one of the latter. Although hot is always in the eye of the beholder. And in this particular beholders case, that means Kendra James applying clothespins to some lucky gentleman’s genitals.
I found this image on the Brutal Cock & Ball Torture tumblr. It’s originally from the Men in Pain site.
After yesterday’s post, which talked about sexual orientation and BDSM, I did what I should have done right from the start and searched for other posts on the topic. That led me to this excellent one by Clarisse Thorn. I think she covered the complexity of the discussion rather well.
To this point I’ve tended to think of sexual orientation as being specifically about what gender someone is attracted to. Not because I believe that BDSM isn’t an intrinsic part of some peoples identity. Just that the common and accepted usage of sexual orientation is around gender, and I don’t like overloading terms unnecessarily. However, I did find one of the comments in Clarisse’s post particularly interesting. It quotes Charles Moser and lists the factors he believes makes up an orientation…
Lifelong – Difficult to Suppress
Prepubertal Recognition
Interest Despite Aging
Immutable, but Fluid
Emotional Price to Do or Not Do “It”
Lust – Specifically and Especially Sexually Arousing
Effect of Testosterone/Anti-AndrogensOne does not have to satisfy all 7, but they distinguish a “lesser” sexual interest from an orientation. It also means that not everyone who does a behavior (even repetitively) has an orientation. Also, an orientation can satisfy less than 7, but it is hard for me to imagine someone who satisfies all 7 not having an orientation.
I’m not quite sure what he means by the one on Testosterone, but when it comes to my BDSM interests, I’m batting 100% on all the rest. I think they make for an interesting checklist to consider.
Of course, if the complexity of the human condition is all too much for you, becoming a coffee table is always an option. I’m pretty certain they don’t have a sexual orientation.
I found this on the Undiscovered Limits tumblr.
Regular readers may remember this previous post critiquing William Saletan’s BDSM articles at Slate. His latest offering is considerably better that his past efforts, but that’s not exactly a high bar to aim over. There’s actually some real data in this new article, although his thinking remains flabby and his reasoning haphazard.
He doesn’t seem to understand common activities like piercing or electrical play, or when tools like safewords might be needed, and therefore makes foolish sweeping statements. He correctly states that BDSM participants are not a single homogeneous group, but finishes with a set of conclusions that implies they are. I also think his concerns about exploitation based on the gender percentages in the top/bottom roles makes no sense in the framework he presents them. However, I’m going to ignore all that, and instead talk about a single issue he raises: Is BDSM an orientation?
This is a hot button topic for some kinky people, who get quite passionate about it. He implies it’s not because some fraction of people only dabble in kink. Personally I think the whole discussion is a red herring.
The people who argue that it is an orientation often seem to draw from, or adopt similar arguments to, some of the recent debates on gay rights. The religious right would argue that being gay was a choice and therefore gay people were choosing to give up their right to marry. Presumably they thought that people were being gay just to spite them. The obvious counter argument was that homosexuality was an intrinsic part of someone’s identity, and it was therefore unfair to penalize someone for something they had no control over.
I think getting dragged into that kind of discussion misses the point on two counts. Firstly, when you’re dealing with prejudice and bigotry, any apparently logical argument offered is really just a smokescreen. If you knock it down they’ll simply move on to another. The color of someone’s skin is clearly intrinsic to a person, but that didn’t stop society withholding civil rights from minority groups for many years. They simply picked a different reason to do so. Secondly, there are plenty of examples of society protecting the rights of groups that are the result of choice. For example, nobody pops out of the womb with a specific religious affiliation, despite what some religions may claim. Yet religious freedom is something society chooses to legally protect.
Rather than arguing that particular groups are special, we should be arguing for a culture that has a strong bias to protect people’s rights to live their lives as they see fit. And if you’re going to claim that their freedom to do so harms you in some way, then that had better be some clearly provable harm that we’re talking about. Not just that you think it’s icky to have a co-worker who might be into BDSM. Or that you think there’s some risky but undefinable moral hazard to having kinky people bring children up.
I wasn’t really sure what photograph was suitable for accompanying this post, so I thought I’d simply continue the medieval theme from yesterday. Mr Saletan seemed particularly concerned about knife play. I wonder what he’d make of bloody big sword play?
The image is by the photographer Jerrell Edwards (also on deviant art). I found it on Thy Queendom Come, Thy Will Be Done tumblr.
I’ve blogged about ridiculous female fantasy outfits in the past. After watching Excalibur last night – one of my favorite movies in the noble knight tradition (with its famous armor sex scene) – I felt like revisiting the topic.
This time I’m featuring some real life armor, as worn by Virginia Hankins. She’s has a fairly amazing resume, which includes being a professional stuntwoman, expert horse rider, archery coach, actress, mounted weapons trainer and the first female jouster for the Southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire. With all those skills, I’d predict that she could give any would-be-Lancelot’s a good ass kicking with whatever weapon they wanted to pick.
If this particular look appeals, then I’d also point you at this post, which features some more striking ladies in sensible armor. Not a cut away thigh guard or busty chest plate in sight.
I had a number of topics I wanted to write about this weekend, but social events and sunshine got in the way. So I’ll keep this short and leave you with a simple but enjoyable image of gripped nipples and big grins. In her case I think the expression is one of straightforward delight. In his, there’s a probably an element of surprise and pain, but I think there’s still a big smile in there somewhere.
The image is originally from Divine Bitches. I found it on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.
I love wax play. It combines masochistic pain with a soothing warmth. Unlike a cane strike, where the initial blow is nothing compared to the sting that comes later, wax pain is all about the first splash. Once you’ve survived that, you get to enjoy a beautiful sensation as it slowly cools.
The only problem with it is the days you’ll spend afterwards digging bits of wax out of odd crevices. Sand from the beach has nothing on molten wax.The gentleman in the image below was at least wise enough to shave beforehand. I can personally attest that the pain of hot wax is nothing compared to the pain of someone forcefully scraping cold wax out of pubic hair.
I found this on the Mujeres Dominantes tumblr. Judging by the linked Dick-n-Jane page it seems like this particular candle is more about massage than BDSM, which I personally think is a shame.
If you’re physically aroused by the sight of some shaped and polished steel, then you might be a little strange. After seeing this, I know I am. I went from “Wow, that’s hot” to “Wow, that’s weird I’m actually being aroused by that” in about 30 seconds.
This beautiful piece of chastity hardware is called The Torture Puzzle and was created by the talented folks at Steelwerks. I can’t see it being survivable for long-term wear, but it would certainly be fun to break out for special occasions!
Here’s an image to restore mental peace after the battle of the last post. My lizard brain can enjoy the attractive dominant lady, her leather garb and that excitingly tight top. My simian brain nods approvingly at the outdoor appropriate clothing, the hefty chain leash and the appropriately positioned slave.
The lady in question is, of course, the wonderful Mistress T. She recently seems to be on a one women mission to make the already fine city of Vancouver an even more exciting location to live. This image was shot far from there, in my old part of the world, for the English Mansion site.
I found this image on the Rebel Mistress tumblr.
This is the kind of image that kicks off a fight between my lizard brain and my simian brain. It’s a nasty no holds barred affair that, unfortunately, is usually won by my simian brain.
The lizard brain always gets the first few shots in. It’s very shouty – “Naked Lady! Nice thick rope. Leashes are hot. Cute expression on him. Long legs! Butt! Boobs! BOOBS!” It does likes boobs.
While the simian brain is a little slower to start, it tends to finish stronger. There are less boobs and more – “Why are her legs shiny? Did she oil them? And, if so, why? Where did she get the oil from? They’re in some sort of derelict building or underpass. How would they end up naked there? Is she cold? That floor looks stony. I’ve got to think taking her shoes was an unwise move. His ripped jeans are a little dated. Although maybe they’re coming back. Did I give my ripped jeans to Goodwill? Am I too old for that look? I reckon I could still pull it off. Sorry, what was I looking at again?”
I found the image on the domina girl tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for it.
This is a companion post (of sorts) to my one from a week ago entitled ‘Smart People Saying Stupid Things‘. That one concerned smart but non-kinky people being stupid about kink. This one features a smart but non-kinky person being insightful and observant. Like that last post, the linked text is lengthy and non-erotic, so if you’re simply looking for visual stimulation I’d suggest skipping to the picture at the bottom.
The smart person in question is Camille Paglia and the article that caught my eye is called ‘Scholars in Bondage‘. It’s a critique of three recent academic books on kink and BDSM by Margot Weiss, Staci Newmahr and Danielle J. Lindemann. All three generated a fair amount of online discussion, particularly the one by Margot Weiss. I think it’d be fair to say that Paglia is less than impressed with them, and her criticisms really resonated for me.
Primarily she attacks their tendency to bury their subjects under ‘a sludge of opaque theorizing’. They start with a fascinating subject, but rather than use the evidence they’ve gathered to illuminate it, they obfuscate it. They write defensively, for the benefit of their academic peers and the theoretical frameworks they’ve been taught, rather than to push our understanding of the subject forward. This is a common tendency in these kind of studies and it always annoys the hell out of me.
Her other major criticism is that they lack historical background. They’re so caught up in the theories of modern gender studies that the cultural context is entirely omitted. From early religious iconography, through Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, up to Helmut Newton and Robert Mapplethorpe, there’s a rich and important cultural background to understand.
Finally, I particularly liked her closing thoughts on what S&M actually is.
My conclusion … was that sadomasochism is an archaic ritual form that descends from prehistoric nature cults and that erupts in sophisticated “late” phases of culture
Sadomasochism’s punitive hierarchical structure is ultimately a religious longing for order, marked by ceremonies of penance and absolution. Its rhythmic abuse of the body … is paradoxically a reinvigoration, a trancelike magical realignment with natural energies
I’m a non-religious person. I don’t ‘get’ religion and it makes no sense to me. But this remark did resonate. On the surface BDSM play seems sexual and hedonistic, a world away from the purity of religious penance and absolution. Yet, I wonder if the underlying psychology is actually quite similar. A great BDSM scene both focuses and energizes the self, but also liberates from a sense of self. The submissive/sinner is both the center of attention but also the least important person. They are reinvigorated through surrender and acquiescence.
This image is by the Italian photographer Alessio Delfino. It’s from a series entitled Tarots and is called La Papesse. I originally found it on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.
Amusingly, when doing a reverse image search to track down the source for the image, I came across this modified version of it. I’m all for people exploring their kinks and creating their own porn, but this is a real WTF. I’m not sure what’s the idea behind combining that image with the additional surreal text (apparently she’s a financial adviser who likes baked oatmeal) and profane text (she likes peeing, shitting and spitting on slaves), but I think it sprained my brain.
