Pooh’s Hole

I stumbled across a post today that made me laugh and feel bad all at the same time. Obviously, in those circumstances, the only logical thing to do is share it with thousands of people – so here you go.

The bad part comes from linking anal sex to beloved childhood classic. As a child I never watched the Disney version of Winnie-the-Pooh, but I loved and read repeatedly the original books that featured illustrations by E. H. Shephard. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to remember this particular chapter in quite the same way again.

On the funny side, I think it does capture some of the varying emotions of anal sex. I’ve had a few dicks in my time, and a lot of more strap-ons, and it can definitely be a roller-coaster of sensations. There are moments of “OMG! This is awesome!” The occasional “Ouch! Jeez. Not like that.” And of course the dreaded “Uh-oh..what just happened down there? I hope that’s lube…”

I’ll leave you with what seems like an appropriate image in the context of the original link. Although I guess this is more appropriate for a Piglet than a Pooh.

There’s no watermark, but I believe this is Mistress Silver, a UK based pro-domme. She has a professional site here and a twitter feed here.

Ways to Help

Last week I wrote a short post on International Sex Workers Day, with a few suggestions on how non-workers can offer support. For anyone looking for more detailed suggestions, then Bustle has put together a good article.

One thing it highlights, and something that I’ve heard directly from workers themselves, is the importance of people speaking up in non sex work settings to reduce stigma and challenge prejudice.  Laws only change when politicians think there’s enough public support for a change. Or, more cynically, when they think they can get away with a change that nobody will notice . So creating the right kind of attention across a broad swathe of the public is a key step.

Convincing readers of blogs like this or people browsing kinky forums like fetlife is the easy part. But what happen when the topic comes up in the context of friends or family? That’s a more challenging conversation. Anyone bought into the idea that all sex workers are abused women lacking autonomy will tend to look askew at anyone – particularly a man – speaking up against those myths. It’s tough to convince someone when the very act of speaking up immediately causes them to classify you as an abuser of women.

I’m not sure there’s a great solution to that problem, other than just being brave and sticking to your guns. I’m out to some of my friends, which makes it easier to talk about. I don’t get into kinky details, but it does let me describe the smart, independent and creative pro-dommes I encounter, as well as the problems of laws like SESTA/FOSTA.  There’s also enough coverage of the topic in mainstream publications that it’s possible to share and direct people towards articles without necessarily getting into a deeply personal discussion. And at the very least, don’t let slurs and casual bigotry against sex workers go unchallenged.

This lady looks like someone who doesn’t need any help in getting her point across. She looks very familiar, but I can’t place the face to a name. Feel free to leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful comment I now believe this is Lady Sophia Black, a UK based pro-domme. Main site here and twitter here.

Succeeding through Kink

Does actively engaging in kink make your more successful and creative in life? That’s the premise of this Harper’s Bazaar article. It’s a nice thought, and it’d be great if it were true, but I’m not sure the article entirely sells me on the idea. It reads a little too much like those lifestyle articles based on selective chosen scientific surveys. They’re not necessarily wrong, but they often treat scientific possibilities as probabilities or even certainties.

From a personal perspective, I’d say my data points are mixed. On the one hand kink does make me feel happier, more relaxed and more confident. That potentially could translate into a more productive and constructive paltego in daily life. On the other hand, kink can be a refuge for avoiding facing tough issues. Like a drug it gives me a high and an escape, which isn’t necessarily always in my best interest. It’s tough to judge what the overall large effect is, although I will anecdotally observe that the greatest period of success in my career correlated with when I was most regularly active in kink.

I’ll finish with an image of success. Hers for a productive days shopping and his for not dropping all the boxes (yet).

This image is by Ellen von Unwerth, shot for Vogue Italy and featuring Bianca Balti.

Trust the Pros

I’ve always maintained that there’s no shame in putting yourself in the hands of trained medical professionals if a scene has gone badly wrong. Any nurse or doctor with a few years experience will have seen all manner of crazy things, and yours will just be another nights work for them.

In light of this article, I guess I should also add firefighters to the list of trusted professionals. At least in Germany that is, as they receive training in how to remove cock rings and butt plugs that have become rather too tightly attached. Amazingly you can cut off a cock ring using an angle grinder, as long as the cock in question has been treated with bandages and heat resistant paste. That’d certainly count as edge play, particularly given it’s a no safeword scene.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. Hopefully all these toys were safely removed without a call to the emergency services.

Splashproof

There’s a lot to dislike about this image. It’s got the classic 70’s domme stare, the limp whip holding and the collar that’d be better suited to a submissive. Not to mention the weird crossed swords behind her. Who ever though that fake medieval weapons were a good look for a room?

On the plus side, her boots, gloves and natural beauty do make it work. However, what really sold me on it was the fetishistic apron-like dress. There’s something both disturbing and sexy about that. What’s going to spurt, splash or squirt that she needs protection from? And not just a small amount of protection. That’s a waist to heel cover. She’s ready for things to get seriously messy.

International Sex Worker Day

June 2nd is International Sex Worker Day. In the light of the FOSTA/SESTA bill passed in the US, it takes on even more significance this year. I’m a bit late with this post to encourage people to attend the various marches that have been happening in major cities, but it’s never too late to show your support.

Some of you may be thinking that you’ve never hired a sex worker, so this isn’t your issue. You’d be wrong. Almost all the sexy images and movies on the internet feature sex workers of some sort. All those images that tumblr is packed with and the movies on the various tube sites is created and taken (usually without consent) from sex workers. This blog wouldn’t exist without sex workers. They feature in the majority of the images I post, they’re the sources for a lot of the links I feature and my interactions with them trigger the thoughts I share. They give society so much and in return, they get marginalized, persecuted and prosecuted.

The simplest thing you can do to support sex workers is to purchase their services. If you like porn, then buy it. There’s a ton of independently produced femdom material for sale at places like this or this. If you want something a little more personal, then maybe order a custom clip? A lot of dommes will make them (for example here, herehere and many more). If you’ve ever considered hiring a pro-domme or escort then go for it. Be polite, clean and pay what’s asked and I predict you’ll have a great time. If you can’t meet in person, then consider using something like niteflirt or OnlyFans. Many of the dommes I talk about here use those services (e.g. Domina Yuki, Mistress Tess, Mistress Evilyne, etc.)

Alternatively, if you want to contribute more directly to the broader sex worker community, then you could donate to organizations like SWOP, Lysistrata, Soar Institute and St James. Or, if you want a more general organization to donate to, try the Electronic Frontier Foundation. They seem to have been one of the few privacy and free speech organizations to consistently stand up against SESTA/FOSTA.

The image below is from Mistress Iris. She also put up a couple of very thoughtful and well written instagram posts here and here. Worth checking out and reading. Not to mention its a chance to enjoy how fabulous she looks.

Foot Binding

I find this style of rope sexy as hell when used in bondage. Something about the more natural color gives it a rawer edge. I was initially so caught up by the binding, that I didn’t even notice the domme’s leg jammed into his crotch. There are no fancy outfits or tortuous looking toys involved, but this is a lovely and sexy scene.

This is from a tweet by Elise Graves, who also provided the bondage and the foot to the crotch. The man on the receiving end is Kino Payne and the shot was captured by steelwerks.

Mercy Mistress Update

I originally featured a post on the Mercy Mistress series last year, when Mistress Yin was still in the process of developing it. I’m very happy to report that the pilot episode has been screened recently (to some amazing  groups of people) and there’s now a teaser available online for it. From what I’ve seen it manages to both capture an essence of the truth about BDSM, while also being as sexy as hell. That’s a pretty good combination.

There are a couple of good articles on the series available here and here, along with the teaser here. I’m personally looking forward to finally being able to watch a drama developed by people who deeply and intuitively understand kink, rather than kink being simply thrown in when a writer needs a sexy ratings booster.

For Richer, For Poorer

Is there a fetish for rich women with poor men? If so, I may have it. Images like the one below always give me a little catch in the throat and quiver down the back. It’s kind of the opposite of fin-domme. These women already have so much wealth and power they don’t need to demand it. Instead the make their amusement by toying with whoever crosses their path. Social femme fatales.

This is Sara Sampaio for the Summer 2018 issue of Sorbet Magazine.
Photo by Rowan Papier. Found via the labstrakts tumblr.