Tag: Outdoors

Mood Killer

A week or so ago I wrote a couple of posts on happy memories of dialog and sound effects from past sessions. I thought it’d be interesting to follow those up with a verbal interaction that didn’t go so well. This example is from a few years back. It’s rare that I have a bad memory of a session but this particular moment has stuck in my mind, partly because it seems so trivial. Odd for a small thing to make such a big difference to a dynamic.

It was my first session with this particular domme and part of it involved a whipping scene. I’m generally not a fan of doing whipping with someone I don’t know well, as the intensity levels can vary dramatically and it requires a certain amount of trust to relax into the headspace. However, I am a fan of being flexible and open to how a domme wants to compose a session, and so as long as it’s not a hard limit, I tend to go with the flow.

She had me tied facing a wall and the warm up period was relatively short. That already meant we had two strikes working against us. Not being able to see a domme, particularly when I’m playing with someone I don’t know well, always makes a scene harder. The pain becomes disconnected from the dynamic and simply becomes something to tolerate, rather than being channeled through my desire.

It wasn’t the most intense whipping I ever received, but it certainly wasn’t light. By the time we’d finished I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking it all. At which point the domme said “Hmmm. Not bad I suppose. For a first attempt.”

That comment totally drained the energy out of the scene for me. Maybe it was intended as a combination of compliment and encouragement, but it had the opposite result. I felt like the scene had been set-up for failure, I’d powered through to make it work, and yet couldn’t even get a ‘Good Boy’ out of her. We didn’t play together again.

As I said at the start, it was a trivial thing. I’m sure the domme didn’t think anything of it. Yet for me, with the endorphins churning in the heightened emotions of subspace, it was a mood killer that I remember years later.

This is very much not the domme in question. Both her whip and her smile are a lot bigger than in my scene. I believe this is Mistress Ama K from the Latin Beauties in High Heels site. I’m not aware of a personal site for her.

Mechanophilia

I’ve heard plenty of dommes complain about slaves slobbering all over their feet or shiny boots. The human tongue is rarely an effective mechanism to polish leather or clean a leg. However, I’ve never heard of a domme complaining about a slave ignoring her and licking the grill of the car she arrived in. Are they expecting him to lick the whole thing clean? Or did he take one look at the attractive ladies in fetish gear and decide that a fly splattered BMW grill was more his cup of tea? Also, at least one of the people there in very confused about how handcuffs work.

The image is from the classic British femdom magazine Cruella. This is one of their odder examples, but their magazine and site in the 90’s was very formative for the young paltego.

Folsom 2019

Talking of kinky events I’m sad I missed – as I just was  – it was the Folsom Fair in San Francisco this last weekend. I’m not sure if it’s the biggest kink festival in the world, but it has to be a good candidate. If you didn’t attend and are interested in getting a flavor of the event, there are articles with photographs here, here and here.

There’s a good mix of hot and fun costumes, although some made my scratch my head. This one for example is an interesting choice. He’s just pulled a t-shirt and baseball cap on, she’s made the effort to get a good military uniform look going, yet he’s the one holding her leash? Do whatever floats your boat, but that dynamic does seem somewhat back-to-front.

Falling very much into the hot category, I did love this shot posted by Domina Yuki of her and Lucy Sweetkill. Also this posed shot, featuring Mistress Blunt with Domina Yuki, is equally appealing. Finally, something both fun and hot, the featured image below comes from the threewitchesdesigns instagram.

Her Barking Dogs

This is a continuation of the public worship/service theme from yesterday’s photograph. It’s a cute shot, although in its original context I’m not sure how much D/s was actually going on. Reverse image search tells me it’s from a 2015 Japanese movie called Orange, which appears to be a mainstream teenage drama/fantasy/love story. No mention of any kinks.

A Missed Opportunity

I’m always amazed that (as far as I know) nobody has put together a site with a definitive list of kinks and fetishes. It seems so unlike the internet to miss an opportunity to combine freaky sex and an anally retentive urge to exhaustively catalog something. After all, those are two of the defining characteristics of the online world.

I’m currently deep into an PC role playing game (Divinity Original Sin 2). It’s the kind of game that has hundreds of characters, artifacts, quests and storylines. Yet, every little piece of it has been exhaustively cataloged online across multiple sites. I can bump into a wood nymph in a fictional copse, in some obscure corner of the game, and I’m no more than a web search from her backstory, details on what she’s carrying and what’s the best way to steal it. Yet, if I wanted to find out what fetishes might relate to wood and trees, I’m kind of stuck (apparently it’s xylophilia).

Last year I found a link to some scanned pages that listed 547 paraphilias. That’s a decent number, but I’m not sure how reliable they all were, and a few scanned pages with no details isn’t a convenient representation. The Bad Girls Bible has published a shorter list of 239 entries, which is at least searchable and carries descriptions along with some cross-reference links. It’s certainly an improvement, but a long way from the definitive guide you’d expect to exist. For example, while it might include obscure things like Siderodromophilia (a fetish for trains) and Nyctophilia (fetish for the night), it missed basic stuff like public humiliation and service submission. I definitely find a lot more shots like the one below than I find of people getting frisky with the back of an Amtrak.

At Ease in the Garden

Here’s a final entry in my trio of posts that fall under the category of  “Not for me, but wow, is that’s a lovely image’.

I love her composed elegance, and the color coordination of their outfits. Black, white and red used perfectly throughout. They even found a white bench and red riding crop. Plus, it’s nice to see a domme in a stylish hat that doesn’t look like a cast off from a military surplus store.  Personally, I don’t like playing outside or doing public scenes, but this shot really works.

I believe this from a modern Femdom magazine called ‘Goddess Love’. Apparently such things still exist in Japan, and even feature artwork from Sardax. I’m not sure if you can get it the US or Europe, but any Japanese readers might want to take a look. It makes me sad we don’t have similar magazines in the US/UK anymore.

Memories of Warmer Days

It’s pretty wet, cold and gloomy across a lot of the US at this time of year. I’m pretty certain there are no visual cures for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but if there were, this would surely come close. It’s a lovely Spring picnic scene with an elegant lady and her helpful pet. Hopefully the inevitable ants will focus on picnic basket and not any dangling lower parts.

I’m not sure who the artist is. Reverse image search suggests the name ‘hisano’, but I couldn’t track down any sensible links to other work.

Cutting Edge Research

I’ve often heard people say that they need a vacation to recover from their  vacation. Unfortunately, while that idea is common, I rarely see it put into practice. I therefore felt it was my duty to test the theory and, having returned from the East coast, I’ve now departed for a trip down the West coast. So far it seems like an excellent idea. The only issue I can see is an infinite series of vacations, each needed to recover from the previous vacation, may not be entirely popular with my employer. However, I’m not going to let a narrow minded approach to niggly details like work hours and employment contracts interfere with my cutting edge research. I owe the world this data.

Specifically, I’m in LA for a week of kink, food and hanging  out with friends. Posts on the kinky parts will no doubt be forthcoming here in the coming days, although I doubt any of my vacation pictures will look quite like this.

The lady enjoyed her human chair is Mistress Ezada Sinn. You can follow her on twitter here.

You Do You

Mistress Evilyne has put up an excellent and very personal post on Whorearchy, the shaming of female desire and what sexual acts are appropriate for a dominant. Hint: It’s whatever they damn well decide. As she concludes the post with…

As long as you are not hurting anybody either physically or mentally, then go ahead and do what you want to do! Be you and rock it! And don’t let anyone shame you or tell you that they are better than you.

It’s a topic I’ve touched on before. The last time, in a post entitled Demarcation, I linked to writing from Domina Victoria Rage and Mistress T that made similar arguments. As I said then, I think the legal issues of sex work to tend to distort not only the topic, but even our ability to discuss it openly. For example, I wouldn’t discuss a pegging session here unless the pro-domme in question was publicly open about offering it on her site. Just penetration alone can be problematic legally, let alone if you throw an orgasm or two into the mix.

Theoretically this is only a problem in the professional realm, but in reality I think it tends to spill across all of femdom. Lacking other strong cultural models, people take cues from porn and pros. So we end up in this fucked up situation where patriarchal laws distort professional femdom, and patriarchal norms suppress other representations of femdom, and ultimately the distorted former being an outsized influence on the latter.

This is Mistress Evilyne enjoying some public humiliation play. She’s a London based pro-domme.

Dealing with Drop

Gay Star News has published a pretty basic but good article on post play drop here. Worth reading if you’ve experienced it and are trying to understand more about what happened. I found it interesting to see all the potential causes that they list – endorphins, adrenaline, internalized shame, loss of sense of self, lactic acid, feelings of guilt, etc. In the same ways that BDSM highs are complex and multi-dimensional phenomena, the lows are clearly equally faceted.

The image is one used in the article and taken by istolethetv. Specially this is from the Folsom Street Fair in 2015.