Fm – Page 110 – Femdom Resource

Resplendent astride her captive

This image caught my eye recently, but for a while I couldn’t figure out why. It’s more porny than I typically like and, although I do think it’s kind of hot, it’s also too cliched to really push my buttons. It seemed familiar, and tonight it finally clicked what it reminded me of. It looks just like a gender reversed Swords and Sorcery fantasy novel cover.

The Gor novels are the classic example in the erotic domain, but there are countless other examples in the fantasy genre. Typically they feature some big beefcake with a sword and a comely slave girl at his feet. For example, this and this and this and this. In this case they’ve switched it around, with a dominant Gia DiMarco, who looks like she could give Conan a run for his money.

Gamergate and Wonder Woman

The Colbert Report finishes its run later this year. That makes me sad. Not just because it’s one of the funniest and cleverest shows on television, but also because Stephen has featured a lot of smart, assertive female guests who can happily trade shots with him. I’ve long harbored a crush on Emily Bazelon, who has covered a lot of legal issues with him. On Wednesday’s show he gave us a duo of brilliant guests.

First there was Anita Sarkeesian who educated him on the toxic clusterfuck that is Gamergate (other good coverage of that here and here). She has done a whole series of thought provoking articles on Tropes vs Women in Video Games, which is well worth checking out for anyone interested in gaming. Then he talked to Jill Lepore, a history professor from Harvard University who has just written a book on ‘The Secret History of Wonder Woman‘. I can’t say I’ve ever been a big Wonder Woman fan (apart from enjoy the TV show as a kid), but apparently her creation had links to the woman’s suffragette movement, early supporters of birth control and the political activism of the 1920’s. Despite being the first and most famous female superhero, I’ve never really thought of her as a feminist icon, but that’s what the book apparently claims. I’m looking forward to getting a copy to review.

Of course all this talk of Wonder Woman and feminism is really just an excuse to feature some fun femdom artwork. This is entitled ‘WHAP!’ and is by the artist godstaff.

Spanking Therapy

When I first saw this Jay Em image I just figured it’d be an amusing one to feature in my series of medical themed posts. The above post title then flowed pretty naturally from the subject matter. However, no sooner than I’d written the title than the thought struck me – “I bet that’s a real thing. Spanking Therapy. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing that somebody would offer.”

It turns out I was right. In fact it’s available from multiple sources. There’s the Spanking for Wellness site, that offers therapeutic spanking in a non-sexual atmosphere. There’s the Spanking Therapist who combines ‘supportive counseling with a structured spanking plan’. For those in NYC, there’s the NY Spank Clinic which offers to help with stressful and emotional difficulties in life. For those wanting a little more discipline with their therapy, there’s Ms. Aria who offers to ‘help people who need assistance breaking habits, changing their behavior, resolving issues, achieving goals, or simply letting go of tension.’ And those were just the ones I found in a few minutes searching.

Personally I’m more a fan of the playful and sexual side of spanking. But for those who want to combine personal growth with heavy blows to the buttocks, it’s nice to know their are options out there.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news

Writing about kink and doctors in yesterday’s post reminded me of an old Max Fisch thread that describes an amazing medical story. It starts with two members of Max’s forum attending a play party. They don’t know each other at all, either in real life or online, and just happen to be at the same event. It ends with one, a doctor, saving the other’s life. And not in a vague ‘that activity looks risky’ way, but in an urgent ‘blood clot in the brain’ way. It’s a cool story and well worth reading. I don’t think the problem arose directly because of kink, but it was certainly lucky that a kinky doctor was around. If you follow the thread to page 2 you can also read her response to the thread (post from SurferDoc).

The medical professional in the image below doesn’t look quite as conscientious or caring as SurferDoc proved to be. I’m not exactly sure what she’s up to, but it doesn’t look good for our helpless and immobilized hero.

I’ve not run across this image before. From the image name it would appear to be an Eric Stanton drawing, and it does look a bit like his style.

Fall has arrived

The weather in Seattle seems to have finally turned. Warm summer days lingered into October, but the cold and the rain is now with us. The leaves are definitely falling, and it seems only appropriate to mark the occasion with an autumnal photograph. She has a lovely outfit, although his looks like it might be a little chilly.

If you’d like to see some more fetish focused fall shots, including a couple more from the above sequence, then I’d recommend this post from hmp.

Lacking all reason

My previous post featured what I thought was a good article on the positive side of mixing discussion, consent and sex. Today’s post brings you the flipside – a really stupid post on sex and consent. Other bloggers may aim to bring you only good things; I like to go with more of a harmonious yin and yang approach.

The article is (ironically) from Reason magazine and is entitled ‘California’s Sexual Consent Law Will Ruin Good Sex for Women‘. It was prompted by the recent ‘Yes means Yes‘ law passed in California, which aims to shift the emphasis in colleges from an assumption of consent to a need to actively gain consent. There’s an interesting discussion to be had about that law, but the Reason article by Shikha Dalmia certainly isn’t it. The bit that really irked me was this…

…there is usually a difference in tempo between men and women, with women generally requiring more “convincing.” And someone who requires convincing is not yet in a position to offer “affirmative” much less “enthusiastic” consent. That doesn’t mean that the final experience is unsatisfying — but it does mean that initially one has to be coaxed out of one’s comfort zone. Affirmative consent would criminalize that.
The reality is that much of sex is not consensual — but it is also not non-consensual. It resides in a gray area in between, where sexual experimentation and discovery happen.

I’m going to resist the temptation to draw conclusions about Shikha Dalmia’s sex life based on this. I can say it’s pretty piss poor logic with no apparent understanding of what consent means.

One of the great things that exploring kink has done for me is helped me to discuss and negotiate sexual activity. If you grow up watching sex in movies (both mainstream and porn) you get the impression that great sex just happens automatically. One minute the cynical private eye is trading witty barbs and smouldering looks with his femme fatale client, the next minute, just after she’s tried to slap him, they’re having amazing sex without so much as a yes, no or maybe. In reality experimentation, and the discussion that must go along with it, makes everything better. I’ve never yet had a mutual fantasy ruined by talking about it. I’ve had plenty of experiences where misunderstanding and a lack of communication definitely made things worse.

Hopefully the gentleman in this image got all his discussion out of the way up front, as his current options look decidedly limited. The image is of course from Divine Bitches.

Enthusiastic consent

Gawker has published one of the better articles I’ve seen recently in the mainstream press on sex and kink. Entitled ‘Vanilla Sex: A Perfectly Fine Way to Fuck‘ its message was to avoid trying to categorize sex and instead concentrate on discussion. What matters is what you and your partner(s) want, not some arbitrary definition of normality. It finishes with fine advice applicable to almost any sexual situation…

And that, I think, is what’s missing from vanilla sex. Rather than trying to “spice up” your love life with imported sexual practices that don’t fit your tastes, why not borrow kink culture’s emphasis on dialogue and enthusiastic consent? The hottest move your sex life can steal from kink isn’t handcuffs, it’s discussion
From a Gawker article by Monica Heisey

It’s tricky to pick an image to represent the concept of enthusiastic consent, so here’s a couple who at least look happy and enthusiastic about what they’re doing. Plus, if you’re going to do breathplay like this, consent is pretty important.

This is from the Hom Smother site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Art and reality

One of the things I enjoy about erotic artwork is its ability to portray the strange and fantastic. Artists like Sardax, Namio Harukawa and Augustine do a wonderful job of capturing the extremes of sexual fantasies in a way that still connects with people. Yet the thing I like most about the piece below is it’s realism. I don’t mean that in the visual sense – it’s clearly not a hyperrealistic drawing – but in the mood and style of play it captures. It feels like a moment from a scene I might do or have done. There’s no crazy bondage positions, massive strap-ons or extreme outfits. Just some rope, clothespins and a nice sense of intimacy and connection.

The artist is Tingos and you can see more of his work on his tumblr. I found it via the Lunar Black tumblr.

Put him in the uncomfortable chair!

Here’s my final post of what has turned into a trio featuring male rope bondage. This one shows Bobbi Starr making unconventional but effective use of a chair. Whatever she has in mind for him, it’s a great position for access to all the interesting areas.

This is from the Men in Pain site.

Pulling him close

Here’s another happy man wrapped in some rope. Admittedly I can’t actually see his expression, so unlike yesterday’s shot, I can’t definitely say he’s happy. But I’m willing to wager that he’s feeling pretty good about his situation.

The image is oddly entitled ‘Brutal‘ (free deviant art login needed). Not quite sure about the title, but I do like the image. It’s by Pavel Ryzhenkov, known on Deviant Art as West-Kis, a photographer based in Belarus. I found it on the Femdom Delights tumblr.