FFm – Page 12 – Femdom Resource

When anything goes

Mistress T has an interesting and instructive post up about negotiating a scene. Her key point is that a submissive saying he’ll do ‘anything’ the domme wants is both useless and highly unlikely to be true.

My go-to (smart-ass) answer these days if they say they’re into anything that will make me happy is: “Great. You do the house work while I watch TV in my PJ’s and ignore you. Just leave the money on the counter.”

Her point is an excellent one but from the submissive point of view, it does touch on a real point of dilemma. How do you negotiate a scene without making it feel like you’re ordering from a restaurant menu? I’ve done scenes with new dommes where I’ve an expressed interest in X, Y and Z, and ended up with 40 minutes of each in that order. Pro-dommes typically complain when clients get very specific about scripting a scene and controlling how it should unfold. But the reverse situation also applies. I don’t want to feel I’m controlling exactly what the domme does.

Mistress T goes onto to suggest that of the 120 fetishes she has listed, the number of things a random submissive would hate is far longer than the list of things they’d like. I’m not sure about that. I don’t have access to her list, but I know of other examples from domme’s I’ve played with. For example, Domina Yuki’s and Lady Lydia’s. They both have 50 or so activities listed. Of those there are probably 2 or 3 that are hard limits for me and a couple of things that I’d do but aren’t particular interesting to me. The other 40+ things are all just dandy as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve done almost all of them at some point. Yet, in my experience, negotiating a very open scene based on 40 potential activities really doesn’t work well. Most domme’s tend to classify you as one of those ‘anything but not really’ guys, and assume you’re going to be unhappy when reality sets in.

I don’t have any great answers to this problem. The best advice I can give is to slowly build trust by doing multiple sessions, each featuring a limited number of different activities. Once you’ve built chemistry with someone and demonstrated a genuine breadth of interest, you’re more likely to be able to transition into a more natural and free-form dynamic. When I play with Lydia these days I suggest only a single idea as a possible direction and let her improvise from that point on. She knows by now that I’m open to a lot of different activities, and don’t have a fixed idea of how a scene should play out. I think last time I simply suggested something involving bondage on her bed, and ended up trapped in much rope, sporting an electrified butt-plug, with several piercings, many scratch marks and a plastic wrapped face.

I’ll leave you with an image of Mistress T and Amica Bentley, originally from The English Mansion that I found on Mistress T’s blog. I suspect for a lot of the ‘anything you want’ guys this particular activity is likely to transition into a ‘but not that’ response.

Let’s hope it’s firmly attached

The internet is awash in fake pills and dangerous devices that claim to help enlarge a penis. These ladies appear to be taking a more direct approach. Grab one end and pull, hard. Either that, or it’s a new exercise routine they’re working on. Squeeze, pull, twist, and repeat. Ignore the screams.

I found this on the Gustos Extremos tumblr. I think (although I’m not entirely sure) that it’s from the Strapon Dreamer site.

Augustine returns!

Augustine’s artwork featured in my very first post to this site, and he was the first artist I added to the Femdom Artwork page. He closed the original site for his work some time ago, so I was very happy to hear (via a comment he left) that he’d started a new tumblr featuring both his old work and any new pieces. There are only a handful of drawings there currently, but I’m looking forward to seeing it grow in the future.

Splat!

It’s always important to be able to give clear and unambiguous feedback on the quality of someone’s work. How else can they expect to improve? It would appear that the young lady below has certainly mastered the art. I doubt that he’ll forget to mop behind the kitchen waste bin next time.

The drawing is by Bakerman (free deviant art login required). He has created a big collection of fun femdom drawings, a lot of which feature pies to the face. They’re a little too slapstick for my personal erotic taste, but they do make me smile. For those that do savor the idea the idea of getting pied by a dominant female, then his work could be just your cup of tea (and slice of cake).

The original title for the piece is ‘Teacher’s Brow Gets Mopped‘ and the artists description of it reads “Two young women felt this instructor wasn’t being professional, so one shoved a mop in his face while the other waited to dump muddy water over his head.”

Checking fluid levels

This post from Spanking Blog made me laugh. It features a tweet from Cassandra Park…

over new guy’s knee getting spanked at party. out of nowhere he says, “can i check your oil?” um… you did NOT say that…no… seriously?
Tweet from Cassandra Park

The original tweet was from July, but I immediately flashed back to it when I saw the image below. It does look like she’s checking for a fluid level while her friend watches on with a concerned expression. Or maybe she’s searching for a reset button, the kind you get on a mobile phone, where you need to insert a bent paperclip into a tiny hole. Perhaps her slave has crashed? He has got an odd expression on his face. Let’s hope she’s not about to void his warranty.

I found this on the Domme and Pet in Love tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Spikes and heels

Continuing the CBT theme, here’s a nice combination. There’s the brutal force of a high heel bearing the full weight of the mistress. And then there’s the precise, delicate but oh so painful spikes of the wartenberg wheel. I like the idea of layering the sensations in this way. It’s not nice then nasty. It’s nasty and then different nasty.

I’ve played with this kind of cock trample box before, and they’re a lot of fun. In one way you feel kind of safe. The box is taking the weight and there’s no careless trampling and crushing of the body going on. On the other hand, the very deliberate and careful trampling that does happen, really tends to catch the attention!

I found this on Krazy’s CBT tumblr. It is originally from Mistress Jennifer’s site.

When a session goes bad (part 1)

My experience of playing with pro-dommes has been an overwhelmingly positive one. I’ve had many great sessions, and I’ve documented a few of them on this blog. In all the time I’ve been playing I’ve only had one really bad session. While that session was clearly an aberration, it struck me that it’s probably worth writing about. After all it’s easy to find lots of posts eulogizing great dommes and amazing sessions. It’s much harder to find discussion on the effect of play that turns sour. Looking back at the session the physical interaction itself doesn’t seem particularly significant, but what was interesting was the way it left me feeling for days afterwards.

I should start by saying that this session wasn’t with anyone I’ve named here in the past. Dommes like Lydia and Yuki have been unfailingly enjoyable to play with and I’d never hesitate to recommend them. The domme in question here will remain unnamed, as she’s still active and I don’t particularly want to get into a back and forth with her or any of her fans.

We’d played together a couple of times previously and I’d enjoyed those sessions, but I had been a little surprised at her reactions when things hadn’t gone as planned. In my experience a good domme is always able to adapt and modify the flow of a scene based on the feedback she gets. She’s always in control, but that doesn’t mean everything has to happen exactly as she originally envisioned. This particular domme seemed to become frustrated and react with a touch of anger when things didn’t work out. That struck me as a bad sign. Being in control of the scene means being in control of yourself as well as the submissive.

The unpleasantness started about an hour or so into our third session. She had me spread on an X-frame and had spent 20 or so minutes working me over with various floggers and paddles. At a natural break, while she switched implements, she asked how I was doing. My fingers were going numb thanks to the overhead position and tight leather wrist cuffs, and I mentioned this fact. This was apparently a mistake. I’m not sure what feedback she was looking for, but this clearly wasn’t it, as she got rather vexed. I actually hadn’t asked to stop, but she did stop and unhooked my hands in an angry fashion.

What followed was a quite surreal conversation/argument. I was naked and still shackled to the X-frame by my feet, but with my hands free so I could work the feeling into them. She was sulking in a chair across the room complaining how I was wasting her time. Apparently I shouldn’t be doing such long sessions (we were scheduled for 3 hours) if I couldn’t take it. This struck me as ludicrous. The length of overall session was irrelevant to this particular issue, and if anyone was missing out on active play time it was me. She also tried to make some bizarre point that if this was lifestyle play I wouldn’t be getting the option to stop. That didn’t seem a particularly convincing line of reasoning.

I’m normally not someone to let a stupid statement slide without comment. When my friends describe me the expression “Doesn’t tolerate fools gladly” is often in there somewhere. The problem was that just seconds before we’d been in a D/s mode, which made for a very confusing dynamic. I wanted to talk through the situation, but still had a submissive mindset. The intellectual bit of my brain was saying “Fuck this. She’s out of line.” where the emotional part was saying “She’s in charge. Don’t argue.” Suddenly all the tools of dominance that I enjoyed seemed to conspire against me. Being naked, bound and vulnerable is normally wonderful, but when the energy turned bad it made it hard to be assertive and take back my submission.

In hindsight I should have simply stopped the session at this point. I never want to play in an angry negative context. However, at the time it never occurred to me to try and stop. I was too busy trying to deal with my conflicting instincts of arguing versus submitting. The end result was a confused discussion that only made her more stroppy.

…To be continued in part 2…

Picking a picture for this post wasn’t easy. People typically don’t post pictures of bad sessions. Instead I’ve gone with a shot of some play from Men are Slaves that features both corporal and a cuffed X-position. I’m sure the participants below are having a lot more fun than I ended up having.

Happy BDSM

I’ve posted in the past how much I appreciate seeing happy smiling participants enjoying kinky play. For example – here, here and here. Very intense serious sessions can be great, but that kind of interaction is horribly over-represented in porn. I’d guess the majority of kinky play comes from a place of positive energy and joy, but you’d never guess that browsing the average BDSM tumblr or porn site.

I was therefore very pleased to discover (via this Spanking Blog post) a new-ish tumblr called Happy BDSM. It contains exactly what the name implies, all sorts of happy people doing BDSM in all sorts of gender and D/s configurations. I found browsing it actually cheered me up and put a smile on my own face, which isn’t something that can be said for a lot of porn shots.

Image found on the Happy BDSM tumblr, which has now also been added to my Femdom Image page. Originally it’s from the Devious Domination site, from the clip “Dominatrix Delight.”

The association game

I often think my posts here are a little like a visual game of word association. The original game is where you say a series of words, letting your subconscious guide the connections, and try to not always end up saying ‘penis’. Although it is possible that this final rule is only a personal (and necessary) addition to the game.

In this blog’s case the image in one post often leads me to another, although the connection might not be at all obvious to my readers. For this image the connection is the expression of the woman on the left, Mistress Sade. The woman on the right, Goddess Brianna, has the look of someone dragged reluctantly into a group photograph at a family gathering (if you’ll excuse the horribly clashing imagery). It’s the “OK. I’m smiling. Hurry up an take the photo. I have stuff to do” look. On the other hand,Mistress Sade looks very relaxed and comfortable to be in the shot. She reminds of the maid from yesterday’s post. There’s a nice blend of amusement and sadistic satisfaction in her expression.

I originally found a version of this image (minus the watermark) on the Rue Montorgueil tumblr. Google’s reverse image search took me to this gallery, which has the original image and the information that it came from the Club Dom site.

Ride’em cowgirl

While I’m posting on the subject of gleeful sadists, here’s a rendered version of one. The breasts of the cowgirl in question appear to be trying to make a break for it and flee the scene, but she certainly looks like she’s enjoying herself.

The expression I particularly like in this image is actually the maid with the tray of implements. Her face portrays a nice blend of amusement, satisfaction and derision. I’m probably reading too much into a collection of shaded polygons, but she strikes me as more of a sadist than the lady waving the riding crop around.

I’m afraid I don’t know the name of the artist for this or even where I found it. The “SIS001” identity doesn’t turn up anything usual via a search engine. Thanks to google image search I did turn up a gallery containing this image on imagefap. So if you like it I’d suggest taking a look there for similar works.