LA Fun Continued, Continued

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I was fortunate enough to session with Mistress Damiana Chi on my latest LA trip. She was kind enough to snap a few pictures of our play, which I thought I’d share here.

One of the great things about playing with someone like Mistress Damiana is the flexibility it brings. She has an enormously wide skill set which is complemented by a beautifully equipped space. So in whatever kinky direction the two of you are leaning – from basic hard corporal to an intricate bondage setup – it’s possible to put together a scene.  I was hankering for some tight restrictive bondage, so Mistress Damiana combined a plastic wrap mummification with additional layers of ropes.

This shot and this one show the basic set-up. The board I’m on is forked at the legs, allowing each leg to be wrapped individually, and my head is held by plastic wrap placed around the chin and forehead. This side shot shows the  suspended board, which not only looks cool, but also gives a lovely floaty feeling as it moves around. Finally, this shot shows the final rope arrangement, with a second layer of white rope added on top of the blue rope which is on top of the plastic wrap. Presumably that extra restriction was just in case I tried to escape.

Of course the bondage was only the start of my problems. Once that was in place it was time to pull out the nipple clamps, spiky wheels, electrical probes and slappy paddles. Sadly we were having way too much fun to shoot pictures of any of that activity. By the end I was a sticky quivering incoherent mess under all that plastic wrap, awash in perspiration and endorphins.  Fun times.

This image is sadly not me, but I thought it was a sweet image to share. It’s from this tweet, and features Mistress Damiana and her sister Jezebel Chi (along with other Chi Temple dommes), collaring their slave ‘footboy’ after 19 years of service. Well done footboy.

In at the Deep End

When I was a young child I used to enjoy a BBC series called In at the Deep End. It featured a couple of journalists trying to master particular professions (hairdresser, butler, auctioneer, etc.) while being advised and trained by experts. Back in the days of 4 TV channels and no internet, this counted as quality entertainment. I hadn’t thought of the series in decades, but then this Vice article on being a Stunt Cock brought it all back to mind.

The stunt cock in question is trying the experience for the first time and learning as he goes. He first gets to feature in a scene with Alyssa Reece and then with Mistress T and one of her cuckold clients. The total payment for the cuckold scene is $200, which sounds like a great deal for getting to have sex with Mistress T, until you read the article. Then it seems less like happy sexy fun, and more like a fair amount of stress and emotional work.

Sadly the original BBC series never included a stunt cock episode. Personally I think seeing a serious BBC journalist try to maintain an erection on camera while a random member of the public stared at him from the corner of the room would make for a great 30 minutes of entertainment.

This image is from Mistress T and one of her cuckold themed tweets.

LA Fun Continued

My LA session fun continued yesterday with Mistress Damiana Chi. Which I’m not going to talk about. That’s because we shot some photographs, so I need to get and edit those before posting about the session itself. Hopefully that’ll happen in the coming days.

Instead, I’ll move onto what I got up to today with Mistress An Li. Glutton for punishment that I am, I ended up with back to back to back sessions. This was the first time An Li and myself had played together, which is always an interesting situation. I’d swapped just a couple of emails, chatted for a few minutes, and suddenly I’m naked and getting smacked around by this total stranger. Admittedly, it’s a very attractive stranger in sexy fetish wear who does this thing for a living but, after all these years of play, it’s still kind of weird.

I’m not sure our respective play styles really meshed all that well. I tend to a more playful, chatty style that eases into the serious stuff. I like a positive collaborative approach, rather than a more serious dynamic that leans  towards humiliation and negative feedback. That’s absolutely not a criticism – a lot of submissives love that style – but it’s not a natural one for me. Despite that I think we ended up having an enjoyable session.

Foot fetishism doesn’t do much for me, but I do love scent play, so having An Li smoosh her sweaty feet in my face while smacking me in the balls was pretty hot. There was also some nicely judged flogging, spanking and caning thrown into the mix, along with some some leather and chain bondage. I particularly enjoyed An Li’s approach to jangling chains and throwing them down hard on the floor. That creates a very evocative sound which really catches the attention, particularly when you’re naked and bent over a piece of dungeon furniture.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s website.  If you’re in the LA area and want to play in person then her session information is here. Alternatively, you can buy her clips here and see her social media posts here.

Tease, Denial & Bite

My LA trip so far has been a lot of fun. I’ve probably over scheduled my play sessions (as usual) and definitely eaten too much, but there are worse problems to have in life.

It kicked off with a fabulous session with Mistress Iris, where we attempted to answer the question: Just how hard can someone bite my nipple while teasing and frustrating me? The answer is very hard. Very hard indeed. I was still tender several days later. It’s amazing what being tied up and toyed with can do for my pain threshold. I don’t have a vore kink, but being bitten while in subspace does sometimes make the idea of being devoured actively appealing. At least in that moment.

For fans of Mistress Iris, or just fans of great kinky imagery, I’d encourage you to check out her newly launched Patreon. As I’ve written before, I think she produces some of the hottest and most aesthetically interesting femdom content around, so her Patreon should definitely be worth investing in.

This image of Mistress Iris was shot in Japan, with the traditional cherry blossoms as a backdrop.

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Strangely Sexy

Not sure why, but I find this strangely sexy. The shoes on the hands are silly and the setting is silly. Yet, the high heels and taut bodies still make it oddly hot. Not sure it really counts as femdom, but feel free to picture a domme just off camera wielding a whip and forcing them into heels for her pleasure.

According to this tweet this is Adam Nicklas, Walter Savage & Aurélien Muller. Photographed by Tony Duran for Brian Atwood shoes.

An Awkward Couple of Hours

I flew down to LA today for some R&R. Or I guess I should say some D&D – Dine & Domme. I’m looking forward to the trip, but I can’t say I started it particularly brilliantly.

When I got onto the plane I did the usual seat nesting process we all do. Stashing bags away, fiddling with the seat pockets, firing up my devices, etc. I’d just unlocked my iPad when the flight attendant came across to offer me a drink. That distracted me into a short conversation with him, followed by an exchange of pleasantries with my seat neighbor. A minute or two later I looked back down at my iPad and realized it was open on twitter and that this tweet from Mistress An Li happened to have landed front and center on my screen. While I’d being making civilized small talk, my iPad had been endlessly looping a gif of An Li staring at the camera through a toilet seat while spitting, pissing and presenting her asshole. That might make for good porn, but it’s not exactly the first thing I’d want to share with a cabin full of people at the start of a flight.

Nobody said anything, but I can’t believe they missed it. I might as well have been wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with “I’m a colossal pervert” across the front. Sorry seat buddy and Delta flight dude.

Of course in some cases it’s possible to combine airlines, femdom and toilet play porn. For example, I give you the SkyQueens series by Yapoo. If one of these videos had started playing they’d have probably had me arrested by the nearest air marshal.

The Philosophers Stone

Alchemists believed that there was a mystical substance that could transmute any element into any other element – the Philosophers Stone. The medieval theory for this was that the stone was formed from the intrinsic material of the world, the fundamental base that all other things were made from, and hence provided a means to dissolve and reconstitute materials as the alchemist desired. Since most alchemists got funding by pitching get-rich-quick schemes to wealthy patrons, that typically meant turning lead into gold.

Sadly the philosophers stone doesn’t exist, but the concept got me thinking about it in the context of kinky activities and sexual desire. I like a lot of different activities, which on the face of it are all fairly different. Being hit with sticks is very different to having needles pushed through the skin, which is very different to being pissed on. I enjoy them all, but why? Is there a common element that might not be obvious but that underpins their appeal? Do kinky people have a personal philosopher’s stone?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking – “What’s this idiot talking about? Obviously female domination is the key underlying element. Hasn’t he looked at his site name recently?” That’s fair but I think wrong. From a personal perspective there are lot of femdom scenes that do nothing for me. For example, punishment scenes, interrogations, pony play, foot worship, ABDL, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who unconditionally likes femdom in all its different forms. It’s too broad an area. The same argument applies to pain. I like it, but only in certain contexts. I’m not someone who enjoys a good beating for its own sake. I also enjoy scenes that don’t feature pain, so that can’t be the intrinsic element to my kink.

It was actually the picture below that gave me a clue to what I think is my fundamental base kink – contrasts. I love activities that clash contrasting dynamics. Sensual sadism, caring objectification, tease and denial, restriction with sensory overload. Cuckolding is hot as it combines love with betrayal. Punishment beatings are not because I associate them purely with negative emotions. Watersports are hot as they combine intimacy with objectification. Ballbusting is not (to me) as it seems predominantly about taking pain. In the case of the picture below it’s the contrast of beauty with severity. It’s the delicate feminine features of Lady Mephista set against the severe colors and form of her military outfit.

I think this is interesting, because understanding the basis for desires helps you to explore them. It gives me a clue about what else I might like, or how I could modify scenes to work better. I might not enjoy ballbusting on its own, but maybe doing it as a giggling schoolgirl roleplay – with the domme having fun teasing and picking on me – would add the contrast I’d need to make it work.

Does anyone else think they have a kinky philosophers stone? A base element that might not be immediately obvious but that threads through all their fantasies and play scenes?

Lady Mephista is a Berlin based domme whose professional site can be found here.

Stupid Tech

I’m generally a fan of combining fancy equipment with kinky sex. It’s certainly not necessary, but it can be a lot of fun. However, I do draw the line at the idea of this cockring combined with a camera. That’s the stupidest combination of technology and sex toy I’ve seen since the vibrator that reported your usage of it to the parent company. What are you possibly going to see on a cockring camera that’d be interesting or titillating? It’ll just be dark, shaky close-ups of random body parts. It’s tough enough to frame a decent shot with a proper camera, let alone trying to do it by waving your dick around.

Although perhaps there’s a opportunity for a creative modern artist here. It might be stupid as a sex toy, but how about as the basis for a cutting edge art installation piece? Maybe they could combine it with a chastity device for an added twist. Andy Warhol famously made an eight hour movie of the Empire State Building in slow motion. How about a 72 hour film from the point of view of a dick in a chastity device? It’d be a striking social commentary on the phenomena of the dick pic and a critique of a society that seeks to both exploit and constrain sexuality. Not to mention a handy visual guide on effective peeing whilst in chastity.

If you’re going to attach something to a dick, this leash seems like a lot more effective and fun to play with.

Do What You Love?

It’s often said you should choose a career that mirrors your passion. The quote “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is typically attributed to Confucius and best summarizes that viewpoint. Personally I’ve always been skeptical of it. I followed my passion into writing software and I’ve definitely worked a non-zero number of days in my life.

This blog post on BDSM burnout by  Hywel Phillips shows another risk of mixing work and passion together. In his case, after years of running a small BDSM bondage production company, he’s experiencing burnout, expressed by the death of his kinky inner fantasy life. That’s obviously a worrying situation as it puts at risk both his livelihood and his own sexual health.  It’s a thought provoking read and highlights a particular challenge of sex work that’s often overlooked. Hopefully his plan for a sabbatical will help him recover his passion.

This might look like a service submissive following his passion, but in fact this man is really into model railways. Being dismissively treated by his attractive and haughty boss is just another job for him. During his daily appraisal and punishment beating his mind will already be drifting to the new signal box model he’s putting together.