Femdom Resource – Page 181 – The beauty of dominant women

Two tongues

My previous post linked to an article on kink and sexual orientation by Jillian Keenan. One bit of it caught my eye in particular.

For years, I identified as bisexual because I’m sexually attracted to both men and women and have acted on that attraction. But in recent years, as I explored my own sexuality more, I’ve realized that’s not quite accurate. I’m not attracted to men or women as a group—I’m attracted to “tops,” or sexually dominant people, as a group; their gender is irrelevant. Many kinky people describe similar feelings.

I thought that was an interesting statement, although I do have a couple of questions about it. Firstly, if a man is attracted to primarily dominant women, is he no longer heterosexual? Or is he’s attracted only to submissive guys, is he not homosexual? I don’t think we define D/s attraction as mutually exclusive with gender attraction in those situations, so it seems odd to do so in the bisexual case. Secondly, if you read the other article she wrote about her spanking history, she clearly identifies that her husband is vanilla. Yet she still fell in love with him, which seems to be slightly contradictory to the above quote.

Those niggles aside, I do think there’s something in what she’s suggesting. I’m not sure if there are a lot of kinky people who match the exact profile she describes, but there’s definitely more fluidity around sexual identity. Partly this might be because it’s a self-selecting group of people with an obvious disposition to try new things and experiment sexually. However, I also think that dominance and submission can sometimes create such powerful feelings and emotions that it can override or short circuit someone’s common gender preference. I can’t image myself in a romantic relationship with a man, or having a conventional sexual relationship with one, but I can imagine trying a FM/m dynamic. Or even even doing a M/m play scene, provided the kinky dynamic was set up in such a way to override my inbuilt sexual preference for women.

I’m not sure where this image is originally from. I found it on the Alternative Female Domination tumblr.

Spanking as an orientation

This post brings you pointers to a couple of articles by the writer Jillian Keenan. Neither are specifically femdom, but I think they’re interesting and relevant to kinky people in general.

The first is an old one from 2012 on how she came to terms with and shared her spanking fetish. I’m sure anyone with a deeply buried and unfulfilled fetish will be able to relate to her predicament. I only wish everyone could resolve their issues with their partners as neatly as she seems to.

The second is a recent article in Slate on the topic of Is Kink a Sexual Orientation?. This is a well trodden path and there has been much prior writing on it. For example, I featured this by Clarisse Thorn in a previous post. While the topic might not be a new one, I think Jillian has put together one of the better articles on it.

I’ll probably throw together some more thoughts on the orientation topic tomorrow, but for now I’ll finish with a spanking image. Given that Jillian is a spankophile that seemed appropriate. However, it’s not exactly a traditional spanking shot, given the area being targeted.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image.

A captured moment

There are a lot of naked body parts and kinky toys on display here. The butt plug, chastity device and gag makes for a nice kinky combo. However, what really makes the image work for me is that shared look and her hand on his jaw. It’s a nice instance of connection that sparks the imagination. Without capturing those kind of moments you’re just let with some random naked bodies and an arbitrary collection of metal, plastic and leather devices.

I found this on the equally deep in your eyes tumblr. There’s no attribution or watermark, but it looks awfully like a Divine Bitches shot to me.

The insidious shades

Ragging on 50 Shades of Grey is nothing new. I’ve done it often enough in the past, the mainstream press has done it, and over at Pervocracy Cliff has turned mocking it into something of an art form. Yet it wasn’t till I read this article by Jennifer Hanks that I realized how insidious its influence was.

She worked as a editor on erotic romance novels when 50 Shades first took off, and the article describes how it set a new template for that genre. Suddenly every hero was an abusive asshole with no idea of consensual play and every heroine an insecure virgin with no experience of BDSM. My job has its fair share of less than fun moments, but having to spend 8 hours a day reading endless 50 shades knocks offs that are actually worse than the original, well that must be hell. Particularly when the publisher doesn’t allow any variation on the theme…

By the time I leave my job — I’ve gotten into graduate school — we explicitly don’t accept books with female Dommes for any of our regular imprints. I imagine making a t-shirt that says DOMME on it in all caps and wearing it to work every single fucking day I have left.

I never realized how much that one book had influenced erotic fiction. Eventual its effect must wane, but until then we’re left with not just a horribly written trilogy, but a distorted marketplace for all kinky writing.

For an accompanying image I thought I’d go with something fun, sexy and clearly consensual. i.e. The opposite of 50 shades. This beautiful artwork by Yumine Guo is a perfect fit.

Paging Sigmund

I’m not really sure what erotic niche this image should be placed into. I just know I like it. I guess it’s kind of CFNM, although there’s not a whole lot of C involved. Naked males are common enough in my posted images. Naked males wearing flip flops and a cock leash in the desert are more unusual, but not totally strange. But pun based domme outfits? I think that might be a first.

This looks like a burning man scene, but I’m afraid I’ve no firm information on where this was taken and who is in the picture.

A pear and a peg

After yesterday’s rather sad post, here’s something a touch more cheerful. I’ve no idea who the young lady is or where this originally came from. But I do like her cheerful pose, the cute top and that big strap-on.

I originally found this on the Please Peg Me tumblr.

A sad week

This hasn’t been the best of weeks. Robin Williams’ death was a shocking piece of news. I liked some of his films, but wouldn’t have described myself as a fan until I saw him live a few years back. It was at a small club in Seattle and I went just because friends had somehow scored tickets. I thought it’d make for a pleasant and amusing evening out. I ended up in tears of laughter. He had such an incredibly energy on the stage. I’ve seen many famous comedians over the years, but none had the kind of intensity he created. Heartbreaking that such a talent could die the way he did.

Following that came news of Lauren Bacall’s death. She at least passed on naturally after a long and eventful life, but it was still a sad moment. She was one of the great talents and characters of Hollywood. I loved her movies, particularly the ones she played opposite Humphrey Bogart. I think this quote about her granddaughter dragging her to see the recent Twilight flicks sums up her personality beautifully.

“She said it was the greatest vampire film ever made,” Bacall recalled. “After the film was over, I wanted to smack her across the head with my shoe.”

The first image below, with a bit of Bogart bondage, is from The Big Sleep. That has the unique characteristic of being one of my favorite movies and also one of my favorite books. The second image looks like a publicity shot. To paraphrase the great Raymond Chandler, she gives me a look I can feel in my hip pocket. In fact it’s almost impossible to find a photograph she doesn’t look amazing in (for example these two shots here and here).

Thanks for all the memories Robin and Lauren.

In the tank

Here’s my final water themed post for the foreseeable future. Seattle has now returned to its traditional rain and, more significantly, I’ve run out of interesting water images to feature.

I like this combination of heavy chains and water. There’s a nice duality to the idea of chains as both bondage and a weight pulling him under. The big glass tank is also pretty cool. I really think kinky porn studios should invest more in unusual equipment and visual impressive scenes. Regular movies range from intimate character driven dramas through to crazy over-the-top special effect extravaganzas. In contrast most porn is somewhere between an Adam Sandler comedy and a Will Ferrell comedy. i.e. Middle of the road crap to middle of the road occasionally good. I’m not going to hold my breath for the porn version of a Jim Jarmusch movie, but surely creating a visually striking Luc Besson equivalent is not beyond the wit of a big kink studio.

This is obviously a Divine Bitches shoot. I believe it feature Wolf Hudson and Mistress Isis. It’s not often you see a swimmer’s nose clip in a porn shoot.

Bobbing for apples

It continues to be about eleventeen bajillion degrees in Seattle (apologies if my highly scientific terms are too confusing). It has also been a couple of weeks since I did anything kinky. Or at least anything kinky involving another person. Having my portable fan topple onto the bed when I was jerking off almost qualified as CBT, but coming close to inadvertent circumcision by domestic appliance isn’t really a fetish of mine.

This excess of heat and dearth of kink is making me antsy and grouchy. I realize there are now many kink deprived readers from hot parts of the world cursing at their monitors after having read that. As problems go it’s not the worst one to have, but it’s my blog, and I’ll whine if I want to.

As for posts, I’m therefore maintaining the hunt for cool refreshing femdom. This one from Divine Bitches is an intriguing but odd image. I like the fountain, but why the head first dunk? He looks like he’s playing the old Halloween game of bobbing for apples. Perhaps she has thrown his chastity key in there?

I found this on the Femdom Times site.

A refreshing dip

It’s insanely warm in Seattle right now. At least by the local standards. My apartment temperature control claims it’s 83F, and that’s at 2:30 in the morning. So while this image might typically be seen to be an intense type of breathplay, right now to me it looks like a very refreshing dip. I could really use someone shoving my head into an icy tub of water.

As the not particularly subtle watermark suggests, this is from Mistress Kawa. She’s a Spanish based Mistress. I found it via the Felm Cyber tumblr.