Femdom Resource – Page 158 – The beauty of dominant women

Regrets, I’ve had a few

I played with Lydia tonight. It was our penultimate session. It was fun, with lots of breathplay and CBT, but also kind of bittersweet. It was hard to stop myself thinking “Oh, that’s probably the last time we’ll ever do this particularly thing again” at odd moments. Although getting caned across the nipples did tend to banish most thoughts other than “Owww!”

Although I’m obviously sad about this situation, at the same time I’m grateful to have been some small part of her amazing career as a pro-domme. What I really regret isn’t this ending, it’s the start. More specifically, that I started so late and didn’t explore my kinks with her years earlier. If I had, I could have been looking back on a decade or more of play with her. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to try new things and explore your kinks. If you’re thinking of seeing a pro-domme for the first time, or going to a munch, or suggesting something new to a partner, then go for it. Better to try and fail than to regret not trying later in life.

No real reason to feature this image, other than I thought it was kind of sweet. I’m afraid I don’t have a source for it.

An ending

This has been a depressing week for me for a number of reasons. Some of those I can’t share here, but the one I can share is a big one: Lydia is retiring. Regular readers will be aware that Lydia is the domme I’ve played with for years and has been a big part of my development both as a person and as a submissive. I’ve documented a small fraction of our play on this blog (for example here, here, here and many more). Amazingly she was actually the first pro-domme I ever played with, almost 6 years ago now, and we’ve got together for 2-3 hours every couple of weeks ever since then. Hearing that she planned to retire, and possibly leave Seattle, wasn’t entirely surprising but it really shook me up.

From a purely selfish and practical perspective I’m going to miss the joy of playing with her. She’s without doubt the most talented domme I’ve ever interacted with. In what is literally hundreds of sessions that we’ve done together, I can’t think of one time where it felt like we were repeating something or simply going through the motions. Every time I stepped out of my clothes, and went to meet her naked and smiling, it was the beginning of something magical. Certain activities formed common starting points – piercing, corporal, bondage, breathplay – but each time she’d take our play in some new exciting direction.

Emotionally it has hit me pretty hard. Partly because I’m not sure how to process it. I’m not someone who ever had a problem with the professional boundary. I’m not saying I’d have turned down the chance to make it a non-professional relationship, but that was never anything I expected or particularly hoped for. I just enjoyed the relationship for what it was. Now its ending I don’t have a natural way to move through the change. I end other professional relationships all the time, but my realtor or doctor hasn’t spent hundreds of hours with me in very intimate and intense sexual situations. The closest analogy I can draw is to losing a very close friend. Someone important to you and who knew you in a way nobody else did, is suddenly no longer going to be in your life.

Fortunately there a few weeks left before she hangs up her whip (as a professional at least), and I have the chance to play with her a couple more times. It’ll be kind of strange. I almost didn’t want to play again at all. But given all the fun we’ve had together, it seemed like it’d be silly not to enjoy our last opportunity. I’ve never yet cried in a session, no matter how hard the beating. I’ll be kind of ironic if I end up crying when the beating stops.

Fatal Femme

Is there an official name for a fetish focused on ethically compromised female assassins/sidekicks in movies? If not there really should be. I think I have that one.

Kill Bill is of course packed with this type of character, perhaps most notoriously GoGo Yubari. James Bond had Fatima Blush and Xenia Onatopp. Sin City has deadly little Miho, who might not have been evil, but was certainly amoral. Also in the not evil but also not exactly good we have Black Widow and Angelina Jolie as Mrs Smith. In the comic book realm, and more as evil side kicks rather than assassins, we have Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Dr Girlfriend (who I always found strangely sexy).

The latest character to add to this list is Gazelle from the violent but highly entertaining movie Kingsman. It’s not exactly Citizen Kane, but it is an fine pastiche of Bond movies and the original TV Avengers. I particularly enjoyed watching Gazelle (played by Sofia Boutella) kill people with her prosthetic steel legs. If I ever make it to Supervillain status, hiring someone like her will be right at the top of my list, just after buying a hollowed out volcano for my headquarters and picking out the color swatches for my minions uniforms.

Negotiating directions

If you’ve never visited a pro-domme you might expect that setting up a first visit involves discussion around interests, activities and compatibility. You’d probably expect basic instructions on cost and session etiquette. And with a good pro-domme all those things do happen. However, what you might be surprised by is the level of detailed instruction you’ll receive on finding the play space. Often it’s a multi-step process like some sort of complicated blackmail pickup scheme. You have to go to a particular street corner, then call a particular number and await further instructions. Alternatively you’ll get a lengthy email detailing exactly where to park, how to approach the building, what to say if questioned and which doors you should and absolutely should not knock on. There’s one SF playspace that had several pages worth of instructions just on how to get in, and apparently I got the cut down version of it!

Although I’m poking fun here, I absolutely get why people do this. I’m sure most pro-dommes live in dread of idiotic clients pissing off their neighbors and attracting the attention of the law. Nobody needs a horny guy in a gimp suit wandering around the alley behind their house clutching a fistful of hundreds and prostrating themselves on random doorsteps.

If you want to know what can happen when neighbors take an unwelcome interest, just take a look at this story featuring Mistress Evilyne. By all accounts she’d done absolutely nothing wrong. The fact people are quoted as “concerned the children might be exposed to something that they shouldn’t see at their age” makes me instantly hate them. There’s nothing that denotes petty small mindedness more than an appeal to think of the children. However, whatever the rights or wrongs, that didn’t stop the press featuring her whiny neighbors in numerous stories, including one from a national paper I hate too much to link to. Happily most of the comments to this instance of the story, including one from Mistress Evilyne herself, suggest a generally unconcerned and broadminded British public.

The happy image above is taken from Mistress Evilyne’s site. She’s actually featured in a previous post of mine, at a particularly distinctive London location. If you’re in the Orpington region and would like to see her in person, then her site contains all you need to know. Just try not to slam your car door too loudly when you arrive or accidentally corrupt any of the local children.

Shibari

Hunting around online led me to more great images from the photographer from yesterday’s post. She’s Amaury Grisel and her tumblr has a wonderful collection of Shibari images on it. Most of the erotic imagery I post here I wouldn’t want to share beyond my circle of readers. Her tumblr contains the kind of images I’d like to show non-kinky friends to demonstrate just how beautiful kink can sometimes be.

Suspension

Here’s some beautiful ropework to start the week. When I was young and naive I used to think that whips and canes were serious stuff and bondage was relatively easy. Experience has led me to reverse that opinion. It takes great skill to rig this kind of shot and serious physical ability to model for it.

The rope is by Gestalta, the model is bishop.black and the photographer was Amaury Grisel. I originally found it here.

Happy Independence Day

I’ve been slacking in my blogging duties. I apologize. July 4th was independence day in the US, which typically means lots of parties and drinking. As a Brit living in the States it’s a particularly entertaining period for social events, and that has been eating into my posting time.

Normal blogging service will be resumed soon. In the meantime I’ll leave you with an appropriate image. Remember kids – never shove fireworks up your ass. Nothing good can come from that.

I believe the artist here is Dboy.

Used panties for sale

Men buying women’s used underwear online is a thing. Not really my kind of thing, but I do like the free market ethos behind it. The women involved get an extra source of income and the men get their particular kinky itch scratched. Of all the many sexual financial transactions that happen, this seems like one of the easiest and safest.

If this is your particular kink, and you’re also into powerful women, then let me direct your attention to this sale of Queen Victoria’s Underpants. Admittedly they’ll be a bit pricier than the average pair from a Craigslist ad. At around 120 years old they’re also probably mustier and sturdier than most guys would like. But just consider who the original owner was. She ruled the largest empire in history, at almost one quarter of the earth’s landmass and one fifth of the population. Forget minor celebrities with products named after them, this is a woman with an entire historical era named after her. That backpage ad for used underwear may feature an attractive young lady in tight leather, but is she related to most of the royal families of Europe? I think not.

While I’m on the subject of attractive ladies in tight leather, here’s one offering someone a close-up view of her particular garments. Queen Victoria would not have been amused.

Games

I was fortunate enough to get to play a new game with Lydia tonight. It was called “How many needles can we put into paltego’s scrotum?” Much fun was had by all. The final score was Scrotum 1 Needles 40. Although when you play that kind of game it’s not really the score, it’s the taking part that counts.

I’m not exactly sure what game is being played in the image below, but once again it looks like the man is on the losing side. I think he should count himself lucky. This lady looks like the type to enjoy celebrating after her victory. Lydia is more the ‘spray some disinfecting alcohol on all the punctured area and enjoy watching him squirm’ type.

The only thing I know about this artist are the initials TBT. It looks a bit like the style of xrenderer, but I’ve no evidence beyond that observation to link the two.

Anal terrorists

I couldn’t mention pride festivals without touching on the single funniest story of the weekend. Pride parades are happy occasions, but nothing made me smile as wide as CNN inadvertently did this weekend. They managed to spend 7 minutes of airtime confusing a flag covered in butt plugs and dildos with the flag of a terrorist organization. John Oliver does a far better job of mocking them than I ever could, and you can see his take on it here.

Should any CNN journalist or terrorism ‘expert’ still be confused, I’m sure people would be happy to arrange a demonstration for them. Here for example, is Mistress Eleise De Lacy about to employ a particularly large example. It’s not terrorism, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the gentleman involved had a moment or two of terror when seeing that in her hand.