Uncategorized – Page 211 – Femdom Resource

Implicit associations

Today’s link to ‘thing that’s not really femdom, but I liked it and wanted to share’ is to something called an implicit association test. This is a test which can supposedly uncover associations that you make unconsciously and may not be aware of. It takes about five minutes to do and you don’t need to register if you don’t want to, simply proceed as a guest. There are tests for (allegedly) revealing your instinctive biases on things like skin-tone, weight, religion, etc.

I found the idea fascinating and headed immediately for the sexuality and gender tests. On the sexuality test it reported I had “little to no automatic preference between Straight People and Gay People.” That put me in a neutral group of about 17% of people. Apparently 68% of people taking the test expressed a preference (from slight to strong) for straight people compared to gay people, and 16% for gay people over straight people. Normally being in the middle of any issue is boring, but I was kind of happy to be in that middle bucket.

The gender test result was slightly more surprising. It tested the association between men/women and career/family. For that the standard curve has 76% of people associating men->career and women->family, 17% neutral and only 6.3% associating women->career and men->family. I was in that latter group with a “moderate association of Female with Career and Male with Family”. Apparently (according to the site) our implicit assumptions come from our everyday experiences. Yet I’ve always worked in an environment of >90% men and as a child I was brought up by a stay at home mom and a working dad. That suggests I’m definitely an outlier here. Or that the test is broken.

I’ve no idea how solid the science is behind it, but I thought it was fun to try. Plus, all that talk of gender and careers gives me a chance to feature an everyday office scene. Perhaps she implicitly associates men with doormats?

This is from the Under Feet site.

Sharing her toy

Here’s a piece of art that I suspect will divide my readers into two distinct groups of ‘love it’ and ‘hate it’. I’m in the former, as I love the connection between her and the submissive. There’s his plaintive look, the eye contact, her hand on his head and his hand around her thigh. Pure man on man action doesn’t do much for me, but add a feminine element into the mix and somehow it works. I know for others the prospect of sweaty man sex is always a deal breaker.

The image puts me in mind of a story called Basement Suite by Orestes. If you like the image you might want to check that out. And if you like that story, I’d also suggest Equal Partners by the same author. That has similar themes with some cross dressing and forced feminization thrown into the mix.

The image is signed ‘Galuss’, but I’m afraid I’ve failed to track down any information at all on that artist. The only examples I’ve found with similar names look completely different in style. If you know anything about the artist then please leave me a comment. I found it originally on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Pro Dommes of NY

The latest site that has been catching my eye is entitled ‘Pro Dommes of NY‘. As the name suggests, it’s a collection of images of professional dommes from New York, stretching back over the last couple of decades. I can’t say I care for it’s sub-title – “…from the icons & super-stars to the mediocre and has-beens.” That last couple of categories seems rude and unnecessary. Despite that, I find the site itself fascinating, although I’m not sure I can clearly say why.

I don’t visit New York that often, and I’ve only played there a handful of times, so this certainly isn’t a trip down memory lane for me. Some of the image and dommes are undoubtedly beautiful (see below), but the same could be said for the images on hundreds of current pro-domme sites spread across the web. I think it’s the element of time that makes it interesting for me. It makes me wonder about the person behind each shot: Where are they now? What do they think about it in hindsight? How did their career and life evolve? The images are public, deliberately revealing, and designed to advertise. Yet, what they advertised was a very private experience, and in many cases the character they’re advertising no longer exists, it has been retired by its creator.

We’re used to cleanly dividing the world into real and pretend parts. A bank manager is always real. Romeo and Juliet are pretend characters. An actor is sometimes real (accepting an award) and sometimes pretend (on the stage). I think pro-dommes blurs these boundaries in unusual ways, and each to different degrees. A session with one is both real (I have the welts to prove it) and pretend. Looking at this tumblr, and in particular the older images of ex-dommes, really brings that home to me.

This image is of Mistress Tess, a NYC pro-domme who is still very much active. Anytime I see a mainstream magazine article featuring a pro-domme they inevitably describe themselves a leading or top domme from wherever they hail from. While I’ve yet to have the pleasure of playing with Mistress Tess, from everything I’ve read about her, I think she’s one of the handful of New York dommes who could make that boast and be entirely truthful. If you’re New York based and would like to see her then check out her website.

Book Club : Domme Chronicles

This is the second edition of my highly erratic series of posts on Femdom books. Today I’m writing about “Domme Chronicles: Erotic tales of love, passion, & domination” by Ferns. I’ve actually got three different approaches to this review, so feel free to choose your own adventure from below.

Approach number one puts you, the reader, in charge. Do you know of Ferns’ writing? If not, go and read it and come back. She’s an excellent and prolific femdom blogger, and this book is drawn from her online writing. Now you know it, do you like it? If not, then you probably shouldn’t buy this book. That way lies disappointment and frustration. If you do like it, and you’d like a nicely curated and edited collection of her fiction, then perhaps you should go buy the book. It sounds like it might be right up your alley.

If you can’t be bothered with approach one, then let us move to approach two. This is where I shift the burden of reviewing to my fellow blogger hmp. He’s put up a fine review of it that’s far more thoughtful than anything I’m likely to come up with. Check that out and see if it floats your dinghy.

Finally, if all that doesn’t work for you, we get to the last and least of the three approaches. That’s what I think about it. And personally I find it interesting for the space it occupies in the erotic fiction landscape. No doubt many readers are now muttering to themselves “WTF is this idiot on about now”, so let me explain.

One dimension of erotic fiction writing is the context provided. Is it very direct, with short punchy descriptions of scenes, or is it full of background and character sketches? The former is who does what and how, while the latter tends to fill in the why. Another dimension is the degree of realism. Is it the kind of thing you might have done last night (if you had an amazing night)? Or does it ignore basic physical, legal and moral rules? Is it the kind of thing where days of extreme bondage in crazy positions can be shaken off in a few seconds? Where gangs of leather clad young college girls kidnap middle aged men and spirit them away to femdom island, where they’re strapped to the bed of exquisite torment and force to lick every inch… Ahem. Where was I? Oh, right, book club.

So the writing of Ferns is both very direct and realistic. The book is packed with beautiful vignettes that capture a moment, either a short physical interaction or an emotional connection. They’re distilled glimpses of femdom relationships. That strikes me as unusual for erotic fiction. Typically I’ve observed that realism pairs with longer more contextual writing, and shorter scene descriptions pair with unrealistic over the top scenarios. That’s not a criticism, just a comment about the style in contrast with what I normally see floating around the online erotic fiction libraries.

I personally enjoyed it the book on an intellectual level, but it wasn’t a button pusher for me on a deeper id level. I like a touch of escapism in my erotic fiction, and this typically made me want to go and enact the scenes, not imagine them. However, I do think it’d be a fabulous book to give to someone who was dabbling in femdom, or who wanted to understand its appeal. You might not necessarily convince them to try it, but I don’t think it’d be possible to read this book and not understand the deep appeal it has for some people.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. If anyone can help out with that, then please leave a comment.

A pinch in a cage

Plan A for today’s post was to write up my experiences with Mistresses Yuki and Ai-Li from last weekend. Unfortunately I invested too much time in the creation of competitive interactive multimedia experiences (i.e. playing videogames on my couch) and it’s now too late for that. So Plan B became find something interesting on tumblr and post that.

I picked a few tumblrs completely at random, and followed a few links at random, and within a few minutes I spotted a post with the beautiful shots below. I loved the severity of the cage and the hood combined with the tenderness of the pinch and hand on the head. Something about the space seemed familiar however, as did the dominant. Could that actually be Yuki? Sure enough, a quick check on her tumblr showed that it was. Millions of erotic tumblr images floating around and that’s the one I stumble across to post. I’ve actually played in that space, and I think it’s the same cage that’s behind me in this shot. Small, small world.

Ban Bossy

Sheryl Sandberg (the Facebook COO) has launched a campaign to ban the use of the word ‘bossy’. There’s a website and a video that features famous women such as Beyoncé and Condoleezza Rice. The reaction from the press has been varied, with a few positive articles (like this one), but a much larger number of negative ones. Some of those have been reasonable, and instead wanted to reclaim the word, others have been so stupid I think I killed braincells just reading them.

Personally I like the campaign. Although I don’t think it matters if the word gets shunned or reclaimed. History has shown plenty of successful examples of both cases. I just like the fact that it’s being discussed and people may become more thoughtful of how language can shape expectations or behavior. In my part of the business world, even ‘boss’ doesn’t really get used these days, except perhaps occasionally in an ironic context. People are described as managers or leaders, all words with positive associations. The word ‘boss’ has a negative edge, and the word ‘bossy’ is both negative and highly gendered.

Of course, wearing my kinky hat (handkerchief? handcuffs?), I’m a big fan of the type of woman that might occasionally get labeled today as bossy. Anytime I hear someone describe a female friend as bossy my ears perk up and I start making subtle inquiries into her dating and relationship status. It’s up there with feisty, aggressive and intelligent as great trigger words to pitch to me on any attempted blind date set-up.

This forceful and articulate woman, shown here demonstrating a strong leadership role in her relationship, is from the Subby Hubby site. I originally found the image on the CFNM classics tumblr.

Neon dreams

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a neon tube used in a scene before. It doesn’t strike me as particularly practical tool, but it is very dramatic. Just controlling and directing the light onto him acts to emphasize her status, not to mention the threatening sword-like shape of it. With the stage lights behind it almost looks like a scene from a play. Is she cast as the hero or the villain?

This is of course the very beautiful Natsukiss, with a couple of images taken from her galleries. She has featured in several previous posts here, here and here.

Losing her cherry

I’m slightly ashamed of what I’m about to do. I swore I’d never do it. Yet here, I am, about to link to a BuzzFeed article. The site whose sole purpose seems to be to show up in annoying unfunny facebook posts from people I can barely remember friending, is about to get click traffic from me, damn it.

The article in question – 34 GIFs that sum up your first sexual experience – isn’t even femdom, but it did make me laugh a lot (particularly #5 & #18). BuzzFeed stole it all from a reddit thread of course.

As a teenager I always thought sex would be this amazing and intensely pleasurable experience. In time I found out that while that can be true, getting there involves a fair amount of awkwardness, mistakes, messiness, embarrassing moments and humorous situations (those mostly in hindsight). That really doesn’t get mentioned as much as it should.

I leave you with a shot of a lady about to lose her cherry. I hope he’s gentle (for his sake).

This image is from the photographer H Morgen.

Normal service will be resumed shortly

I believe the last week or so has been my slowest posting rate since I started this blog. A double header of vacation and sickness will do that for you. Fortunately I’m back in Seattle now, and so if I can just shake off this damn bug, I can get back to posting more normally.

Despite my germ cursed state, I did manage to indulge in some kinky play in San Francisco. I’ll be blogging about that in coming posts. I’ve also some photographs and a short video to share, assuming I can figure out how to edit and convert it appropriately. In the meantime, while I go hunt down some NyQuil, I’ll leave you with something that made me smile. I think it’s by the artist Bathgate21 who also did this drawing. Pepé Le Pew is notorious for not taking ‘No’ as an answer. Perhaps some time as bottom to Bugs will cure him of that.

Just a quickee

Apologies for the lack of posts in the last few days. I’m on vacation (again) down in San Francisco (again). Unfortunately, I’ve caught some random bug that’s given me a sore throat, congested sinuses and a fuzzy head. If there’s one thing more annoying that getting sick, it’s getting sick on vacation. Possibly this is the universe’s way of restoring karmic balance. I was just having too many fun vacations, so it was time to spoil one.

Anyway, vacations and sickness are two things that tend to interrupt blogging. This is just a quick post to keep the blog ticking over. So while I go hunt down my last Ricola throat lozenge, I’ll leave you with an image I spotted on the Girl Rule, Subs Drool tumblr. No real connection to anything. Just something I liked and thought I’d share.