#teakink

If you’re interested in kink, sex work and podcasts then allow me to point you at #teakink by Eva Oh. She completed Season One recently and while I’m not typically much of a podcast person, I’ve enjoyed this one. It not only covers how she got into sex work and the unique challenges of pro-domination, but also her relationships with her family, adventures in Bali during Covid and what she’s learned about kink, life and herself over her career to date.

I’ve sadly not yet had chance to session with Eva. However, all the dommes I’ve played with who do know her have gushed about what a fabulous person she is. So, should you ever have an opportunity to play or chat with her, I’d definitely suggest taking it.

This image is from Eva Oh’s twitter feed, featuring her and Alessia Jade. You can find Eva’s primary professional site here.

Blogroll Updates

I’ve done a little blogroll housekeeping. Cleaning up dead links and adding three new ones. It’s a little sad how few active femdom and kink blogs there are these days. Maybe if Elon succeeds in destroying Twitter then a few of the displaced tweeters might take up blogging. One can only hope for a silver lining.

The newly added ones are..

Hopefully there’ll be something of interest in those sites for all my readers to enjoy.

This fun photograph features Inanna Justice with Maîtresse Blanche. Sourced from this tweet on Inanna’s twitter feed.

Count the Ways

Marcelo recently put up a controversial tweet on the protocols of corporal play. He’s since deleted it, so I can’t quote it directly, but the main thrust was that a lot (most?) subs dislike having to count the strokes when receiving a thrashing. He suggested that it takes them out of subspace and doing a ‘thank you’ per stroke seems fake.

I’m not sure why he deleted it. Hopefully it wasn’t because he got a lot of disagreement, because I’m on his side on this one. Obviously there’s no objectively bad play style here – YMMV and I’m sure some people love that protocol. But personally I find it weird to repeatedly say thank you and the counting always pulls me out of subspace. It makes sense in a very traditional school roleplay scene, but I’m not sure why it’s so common outside that niche. Or at least, why it’s so often the default way to do a corporal scene.

The only time I’ve really enjoyed counting the strokes is when it’s done playfully. Sometimes I’m not sure if a stroke really counted or not. Was it a sighting tap or the real thing? What if I don’t count and it really was one? But if I count it, and it wasn’t one, I’ll look like a wuss! That kind of dynamic can be really fun when executed in a teasing way. But if we’re going  for a serious beating, then at least let me zone out into subspace.

I sourced this image from an old tumblr feed. Hunting around led me to this photo print by coop, which appears to be from the same series.

Mistress Blunt and her Former Submissive

Mistress Blunt is continuing to produce some really top quality blog content. I previously featured her interview with her finsub, and she has now published a lengthy new interview with her former submissive Emmy. It’s very sweet and thoughtful. I loved this little exchange in it…

Emmy: …. So service in a D/s relationship… I do have this innate thing as a submissive of really enjoying being a support, or a pillar in somebody’s success and wellbeing. It’s both sexy and personally fulfilling. Whenever I was serving, especially cleaning and taking care of your space, I could fall into a meditative state, very similar to yoga. I would go through a flow in your house.

Mistress Blunt: I will say I would love to come back and see you napping. I’d come back, and you weren’t allowed on the bed or the furniture. So, you’d be curled up on the sheep skin like a little angel. I was just like, “My little heart.”

You can go read the whole thing here. I think it’s well worth it.

This is Mistress Blunt with Emmy Lewis, in a photograph from the interview.

Mistress Blunt is an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here, her twitter feed here and more from her blog here.

Emmy Lewis a NYC based pro-switch. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Mistress Blunt and her finsub

I’m continuing the financial domination theme by linking to this article by Mistress Blunt. It features a lengthy interview with her female financial submissive. That combination of a professional domme, a female submissive and a findomme kink is pretty rare.

I really enjoyed the way the interview unfolded, and their dynamic comes across as both very hot and cute. It really captures the appeal of financial domination, even for those not into it. However, the intensity of the play did make me a little uncomfortable, particularly given that it only started this year (based on comments in the interview). I’m guessing the submissive is a young professional, in a career with a high earnings growth potential. I really hope she doesn’t do anything to cause her future self to curse the foolishness of youth.

I was lucky enough to find myself in a similar position in my career when I moved to the US. In hindsight, there are a lot of things that make me want to reach back in time and slap some sense into the younger me, but fortunately money management isn’t one of them. I always split my finances into essential (food, rent, etc.), discretionary (luxuries, trips, etc.) and investment (saving for retirement). One thing I did right was to be strict about funding my kinky fun purely from the discretionary bucket. Obviously I was hugely privileged and lucky to be able to fund all three, but I’m very glad now that I kept that distinction. I don’t have a financial domination kink, but it would have been very easy to have gone wild splurging on multi-day multi-domme play and lengthy kinky foreign trips.

For me it’s important to always treat professional kinky interactions as a luxury item. That’s not to say kink itself is optional, but paying for it with a professional certainly is. I imagine that it becomes a lot harder to maintain that kind of distinction when your kinks are intimately bound up with money and how its distributed. I can only hope the finsub in question can picture a conversation with her future self and ensure she’s careful to make it a happy one.

This is the beautiful Mistress Blunt, in an image from her gallery page. She’s a NYC based pro-domme whose professional site can be found here and her twitter feed here.

Fin Domme from his Perspective

After my previous post on the The Simp, pivoting to talk about financial domination seems the right move. It’s both the exact opposite and the kind of thing that would really annoy anyone who subscribes to the simp idea. So goodness all around.

I’ve seen a lot of fin domme writing from the domme perspective, but not so much from the submissive side. I therefore enjoyed this Girl on the Net guest post, written by Harley, owner of Harlequin Works. It’s a nice clear take on why financial domination works for him.

I personally find financial domination fascinating because it’s not my kink, yet I often find descriptions of it to be very hot. To draw a very weird comparison – it’s a bit like enemas. I find them to be unpleasant and non-sexy in reality, while being very hot in the written word. I similarly find the enthusiasm of fin domme’s and their submissives to be very sexy, while having zero desire to part with my cash. Is voyeuristic enjoyment of fin domme a kink in itself?

I’m not sure where this image originally comes from (I found it here), but there’s definitely a fin domme storyline that can be spun from it if you’re that way inclined.

Dronification

I love the fact that after many years of immersion in kinky culture I can still stumble upon new things. For example, I give you the kink of dronification, which is totally new to me. In hindsight it seems like an obvious combination. Obedience, latex, objectification, submission and hypnosis are all hot button kinky topics. Why wouldn’t people put them together? The hive dynamic, with it’s singular queen and mindlessly obedient worker drones, is ripe for twisting in this way. Plus, its masks and visors make it totally suited to a world of coronavirus.

This image from Reflective Desire isn’t strictly a dronification image, but it has a lot of the elements. There’s latex, objectification, submission and all sorts of fun stuff going on.

If you like this image I’d urge you to check out the Reflective Desire site. They have a ton of great content like this.

You Will Respect my Authority

I couldn’t do a sequence of bullying themed posts without featuring something from Servitor. While I sort of enjoy bullying in the abstract, he seems like someone who definitely enjoys it in the actuality. His site features a fair number of bullies, with these two ‘schoolgirls’ (from this post) being an excellent example.

The odd thing about school bullying fantasies is that – in my experience – there was very little cross gender bullying. I’ve seen a lot of dommes post about how they bullied guys as teenagers, but I think that must reflect a tiny fraction of the actual bullying that goes on. The cute girls were sadly too busy being mean to each other to pick on me.

Tough Times

This is obviously a very difficult and challenging time for a lot of people. The coronavirus is shutting down a lot of the economy and ripping the heart out of big chunks of service industries. That includes professional domination and many other types of sex work. Whatever your local government ends up doing to help the economy, I think it’s a safe bet there will not be a big bailout package for sex workers.

Almost all the hot sexy content you enjoy online is created by sex workers. Blogs like this one certainly wouldn’t exist without them. So if your income is going to be relatively secure for the next few months, then I’d strongly urge you to do what you can to help. The good news is that there are a lot of ways you do that and also get exciting material to help pass the time in quarantine.

  • Buy clips from independent female creators. The iwantclips site and the clips4sale site have a ton of femdom content.
  • Join the fan sites of your favorite pro-dommes at places like AVN Stars, AdmireMeVIP and OnlyFans.
  • Buy online chat time and do virtual sessions using sites like sextpanther or niteflirt or whatever conferencing tool a particular domme prefers to use.
  • Order a custom clip. I’m sure that any pro-domme that normally offers this will currently have time on their hands to create more.

If you have a few favorite pro-dommes or sex workers, but aren’t sure how to get their content or help out, then go look them up on twitter. There will almost always be links to purchase content or information for scheduling online only sessions. Alternatively, just look through this site. I always try and provide the relevant content and site links for any pro-domme I feature here.

This is Lucy Sweetkill with Dia Dynasty. They’re both based in NYC, an area which seems about to get hit particularly hard by the virus. Domina Dynasty has an OnlyFans here, a niteflirt listing here and a sextpanther listing here.  Lucy Sweetkill has an OnlyFans here, a niteflirt listing here and sextpanther lising here. They’re both fabulous dommes who would be well worth spending time and money with.

The Bug

The big news story of the day is the new strain of coronavirus that has been spreading around the world. With people dying and the economy tanking, it seems somewhat silly to talk about its affect on kink and sex. However, those are the primary subjects of this blog and you get what you pay for, so here we go.

The key question for anyone with either casual play partners or when doing professional sessions is: What level of precaution makes sense? Do you keep going as normal? Stop until we’re told the pandemic has passed? Only do scenes involving full body prophylactics or bullwhips with a reach of longer than 6 feet?

It gets even more complicated for pro-dommes and other sex workers. On one hand getting sick from close interaction is a major risk. On the other, a stream of cancellations and clients being afraid to book means no income. I’ve already seen a lot of social media commentary on this, with a wide variety of emphasis on risk avoidance versus lost opportunities. Some professionals are temporarily relaxing their cancellation penalties to discourage playing while sick. I even saw one suggestion of only seeing clients from certain ‘safe’ areas, both to reduce risk and to reassure clients from those areas that sessions would be low risk.

For those without specific government rules around quarantine, I think everyone has to draw their own lines in the sand. Guidance around washing hands and not touching your face aren’t much help when it comes to deciding on the safety of say genital torture versus smothering. Although I would love to have the Surgeon Generals opinion on that.

The one piece of advice I’d give would be to be as transparent as possible with your play partners. Consent is about making an informed decision, and information is obviously a very necessary part of that. If I have any minor thing pop up in the days before I play, I’ll always email my prospective play partner to let them know. That gives them plenty of time to assess the risk and decide if they want to cancel, reschedule or wait to see how it develops. If I end up too sick to play, they at least they got an early heads-up. Obviously nobody should ever be playing with others if they think they have the new strain of coronavirus, but for other bugs I’ve been surprised at the variety of reactions. Some pro-dommes are OK as long as I can stagger to their playspace, where others have strict rules around staying away until fully healthy.

So share your health information and share it early. If it’s a regular seasonal cold then both parties need to make an informed decision. If it might be COVID-19 then get tested and stay in quarantine if necessary.

This medical themed image is from Domina Contessa Cara. She is based in Essen and her professional site is available here.