The beauty of dominant women
I’m not typically an ice cream fan. Normally I’d prefer a sorbet. But a naked lady, a strap-on and a tub of ice cream? That works. That really works. Add some champagne into the mix and we could be talking about the perfect evening in.
I found this on the I Crave Domination tumblr. I’m afraid I can’t track down an original attribution. Weirdly google images can somehow figure out this is a shot about ice cream, but not who originally published it.
I’m going to do something fairly foolish in this post and disagree with someone who doubtless knows their business far better than I do. Not to mention someone who lives locally, swings a mean single tail and could almost certainly kick my ass. I’m talking about Domina Victoria Rage and her recent post on safety and screening when setting up pro-domme sessions.
There’s a lot of good information in it, but I do have to take issue with her suggestion that clients should always use aliases. She goes onto say…
Come to me with a real sounding first and last name and that’s a red flag that you might take my privacy as lightly as you’ve taken your own.
There’s no reason on the planet why personal information should be exchanged on either side, anything you say is a gamble because both of you – just by seeing each other – are in a position to do damage to the personal life of the other.
Anyone I session with, or even just meet, will know my real name. I’ll typically provide it in the first few exchanges of emails. And a domme who expects me not to do that creates a red flag of my own. It suggests to me that she’ll not take my privacy seriously and that the onus is on me to always guard information from her. I’m absolutely sure that’s not the case for Domina Victoria, but I would find it really weird to not use my real name with a domme when I’m trusting her in so many other ways during a session. I would feel inauthentic.
While using an alias is pretty much universal for pro-dommes, it’s certainly not for clients. Some dommes demand a photographic id before a session, or will take credit cards, which instantly rules out fake names. And personally I don’t buy the argument about creating risk to personal lives. I’d be much more worried about crazy ex-girlfriends than pro-dommes. The former typically know your social circle, know your intimate sexual secrets and may have nothing to lose by spreading gossip. That’s a scary mixture. In contrast a pro-domme sharing information risks her professional reputation and therefore her livelihood. She has a strong incentive to keep information private. I’m not saying it has never happened, just that as things to worry about, it’s way down my list.
As an entertaining side anecdote on identify and verification – I once had someone complain that my professional linked-in profile didn’t have enough contacts. I had a 100 or so listed, but she said she preferred to see 200+ before she trusted it! This was someone I’ve never mentioned here, and someone who crossed a few of the legal lines that pro-dommes are typically so strict about. She was therefore far more concerned about legal entrapment and demanded strong proof of identity before she’d meet. I was highly entertained by the fact that my long neglected linked-in profile might suddenly be a kinky sex deal-breaker. I wish I’d know that when I was busy deleting all their spammy emails to update it!
I’ll leave you with a shot from Domina Victoria’s blog. I love the contrast of the white skin, the red nails and the big glorious cock.
The origin and subject of this artwork is a little obscure. It’s signed as ‘Faun Songs’, which would seem to map to this deviant art account, although I can’t see it in the gallery there. It started out on a similarly named tumblr, although I found it on the Vengeful Goddess tumblr. I believe it’s fan art of two characters from a webcomic called Homestuck, which I’ve never heard of before but is apparently fairly big in its own way.
Whatever the source and inspiration, I like it a lot. There’s a real warmth to both their interaction and the style with which the drawing has been rendered. The hand around the throat and the murmured expression of praise are also nice touches that really make the scene work.
I’m taking a few days vacation down in San Francisco. Hopefully much kinky fun and great food will be involved. Although probably not at the same time unless things get really crazy.
Normally this wouldn’t affect my blogging output. Unfortunately my new laptop and the hotel WiFi have decided they don’t get on. So for the last hour or so I’ve done my best impression of Eddie Izzard trying to get his printer to work.
Luckily I also have an iPad. Unluckily I’ve never used it for blogging and it’s not exactly setup for the job. So apologies if my posts are fairly terse and poorly laid out in the coming week.
In the meantime I’ll leave you with a picture of a young lady about to do her man what the Windows 8 WiFi driver team have just done to me.
This image is originally from the Strapon Dreamer site. I found it on the lashkisser tumblr.
This is one of those images that made my breath catch in my throat when I saw it. It was a real ‘oh…my…God’ moment. A particular position and situation that I’d never even thought about suddenly became a question of ‘When and how can I make this thing happen?’. The forceful screw up against a restroom wall is a common enough trope in movies (both pornographic and mainstream), but somehow I’d never pictured it in the femdom context.
I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for it. I found it via the Miss K tumblr.
Updated: Thanks to my observant and knowledgeable readers (in this case scottie), I have a proper attribution. This is Empress Cruel. I think it’s from this clip on the TD24 site. Empress Cruel herself has retired and has no main web site that I can find.
I’m never a big fan of award shows. Too much scope for smug congratulation and boring speeches for my taste (except when they feature me). However, I might make an exception for the Feminist Porn Awards. It sounds like the kind of show that would have a lot of interesting material along with some varied and controversial viewpoints.
I’m potentially biased as I have a minor crush on one of the organizers – Tristan Taormino. She’s written and produced a bunch of great material, and this year took home the Smutty Schoolteacher award for The Expert Guide To Pegging. And, just to be shallow for a moment, that super-smart woman in glasses thing she has going on doesn’t hurt.
I sadly couldn’t find a great image from The Expert Guide To Pegging film, so instead let me leave you with these two images. They comes courtesy of this helpful article on pegging for beginners.
After the verbosity of the last couple of posts I’ll keep it simple tonight. I’ve had a wonderful evening. To start I got heavily whipped by Lydia. My torso now looks like it was mauled by a creature with really big paws. Then I got well and truly fucked. Much grunting and moaning was involved. Finally, I drifted home on a cloud of endorphins, cracked open some good red wine and cooked a rack of lamb extra rare. In my book that’s a damn good evening.
Before I retire to the couch with another glass of wine, I’ll leave you with this appropriate image. Can’t say I’m a fan of the wet look stockings (or boots), but I do appreciate that she seems to be enjoying herself.
Somebody has annoyingly trimmed the watermark off (given the black border I have my suspicions which self-aggrandizing femdom site that would be), but I believe it’s originally from the Strapon Dreamer site. I found it on the Not Like That, Like This tumblr.
Panties in the mouth is not exactly a new idea in femdom. The idea of being gagged with them crops up fairly often. The image below adds a new twist to that. I think this is the first time I’ve seen a woman use them as reins to control her mount. I particular like her pose, with one hand behind her head and one to control his. There’s a great rodeo feel to it. At some point during this I really hope she let out a loud yee-ha!
I’m afraid I don’t know the original source for this image. I found it on the Submissive Soul tumblr.
I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books, but a reverse image search tells me this is fan art featuring two of the characters – Harry and Ginny. Presumably she’s showing him her latest magic trick. Using just an ordinary school tie and a completely conventional strap-on harness, she can make her magic wand disappear completely from view. It’s a neat trick, but I’m going to bet that Harry has a fair idea where she has hidden it.
I’m afraid I don’t know the original artist. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr (originally larger version available here).
This is continuation of yesterday’s post on ‘force’ based scenes, originally triggered by this post by Stabbity. Reading those first will probably help this make more sense.
Force in a BDSM scene can undoubtedly be very hot. For one thing it suggests passion and emotion. As a submissive being on the receiving end of that is energizing. It’s hard to be forceful towards something you’re indifferent about. Force in a scene also brings in ideas of objectification and control. A lot of BDSM toys are about removing some element of control, whether that’s over motion, speech, sight or sphincter muscles. Force can be a further extension of that, removing the ability to control consent, albeit in a consensual non-consent kind of way.
I get all those aspects of force in a scene. The one associated aspect that does puzzle me is the idea of removing or shifting guilt. This came up in the comments to Stabbity’s post.
I also feel that the use of force enables a sub who is ashamed of a certain desire to experience it without guilt. I see it most frequently in regard to forced bi scenarios. The sub wants it but doesn’t want to admit (either to others or to himself) that he wants it. So by passing off the responsibility to the dom, he’s essentially free to indulge without worry. – roo-roo
This is a view I’ve seen expressed many times in the past, and I have to say I don’t get it. And I mean that in the ‘I personally don’t understand’ way, not in the ‘it’s wrong’ way. Can guilt be really shifted so easily? Mixing the complex emotions of a forced BDSM scene to a genuine sense of guilt sounds like a combustible emotional mix. If a traumatic childhood experience with a Salvation Army lady had left me with fetish for stealing from charity collection boxes, I’d (hopefully) feel very guilty about that. Would dragging a domme into my coin pilfering schemes make me feel any better? Can guilt be shared or even shifted like that? It seems such a reductive view of an emotion. Perhaps it depends on someone’s ability to compartmentalize and buy into their own stories and fantasies. Maybe if I roleplayed in scenes I’d understand this better.
As I said, it’s not an unusual or uncommon view on force in scenes, but it does leave me scratching my head. Perhaps the fact I’m not an emotional masochist may have something to do with that. While I ponder that, I’ll leave you with another fun piece of artwork, this by Kami Tora. Not quite as overtly physical as the Stanton drawings from yesterday, but it does have some nice hair pulling and forceful pegging.
