Tag: Photograph

On the Road

My last post on the stress of submitting web forms on pro-domme websites was based on a true story. I’m off on vacation and had spent the last few weeks making contact with a couple of dommes I was interested in playing with. I will hasten to add that they were prompt in response, easy to schedule with and their websites did not eat my session request form. However, that still doesn’t reduce the stress when pressing the ‘submit’ button for the first time.

Anyway, I’m back in the old country for a few weeks. Mostly to catch up with family and friends, but I will be indulging in some of my baser hedonistic instincts. Although is it actually hedonistic if you’re actively seeking out pain?

Will try and keep the blog updates flowing. In the meantime, here’s a bit of visual loveliness. Sadly I don’t know of the original source for it.

First Time Jitters

What’s the most anxiety inducing part about meeting up with a new pro-domme? Is it finding her playspace the first time, using whatever set of hoops you have to jump through for that? Is it the moment you first go to knock on her door? Or maybe the moment just after getting naked and just before walking out to meet her?

I think those all are solid options, but for me the biggest stress is way before the actual session. It’s the pressing of the ‘submit form’ button on her website.

Filling the form is stressful in itself as I’ve written before. But that damn button is the worst. Click, blink and it’s gone. Your carefully curated application – that you’ve re-read and tweaked a dozen time – is loosed into the world. Off in the ether. Did it work? Who knows. Maybe it’s sitting in her inbox. Maybe it gotten eaten by internet gremlins. All we can do now is play the waiting game.

Some dommes respond almost immediately. Others can take a week or more. Which then raises the question – when do I reach out again? I don’t want to be the unknown asshole nagging someone whose just busy or on vacation. But I also don’t want to be sitting there waiting on a reply if the button sent the form straight down to hell. Which has happened to me on multiple occasions.

That also raises the question – how do I reach out if the form doesn’t seem to have worked? Filling it in again seems silly. If it worked you’re just repeating yourself and if it didn’t you’re wasting your time. Some dommes have public emails but a lot don’t. Reaching out via IM on social media is one option, but always feels like a last resort to me.

I have found it useful to monitor social media for a sense of what the domme is doing. If they’re traveling, on vacation or obviously dealing with some issue, I assume it probably worked and they’re just busy. If they’re posting a lot about sessions and regular daily life then I’ll think about reaching out again if I haven’t heard back after one week.

One thing I do appreciate is when a domme lists on her website what her response process is. Some will even give the turnaround time you should expect, which is super helpful for reducing stress and knowing when it’s sensible to reach out to check on an application

Image shows the likely fate of new clients who nag pro-dommes unnecessarily about their session applications.

Hardcore

An important lesson to learn early in any kinky journey is that no matter how hardcore you think your activity is, somewhere out there, somebody is doing a far more extreme version. I think learning that can temper the initial inclination to always keep pushing limits. It becomes more about finding the right limits for you, rather than thinking you can become baddest kinky motherfucker in the world.

What brought all this to mind was some tweets from Ron, one of the main people at Team Rinryu aka Yapoo. Longterm readers or those who enjoy more extreme femdom content will know that name. They feature human toilets, heavy whippings and beatdowns that can make you wince. Personally, I’m a fan. That might be clear from how often I’ve featured them here in the past (e.g. here, here, here, etc.)

It’s pretty obvious that filming for them must be intense. However, I hadn’t realized how extreme they can get. Some of their movies feature a man kept in a cage and brought out for ‘playtime’ each day. According to this twitter thread from Ron, he actually did stay in the cage for 2 weeks, being brought out each day to be beaten and fed the domme’s piss and shit. Nutritional supplements were the only additional food that kept him alive. Incredibly, that wasn’t even the record. He cites two other men who were caged under similar conditions for 3 months and 9 months!

The only bit of movie fakery was the fact that in his case the cage was resin. He’s claustrophobic and a cage he couldn’t ultimately break would have triggered that. The men who made it for months didn’t even have that mental escape hole and used real cages. Mind blowing.

I like this shot from Team Rinryu because of  how sweet and innocent the domme looks. But you just know from the context, set-up and open mouth that some serious shit is about to go down. Pun definitely intended.

More Mummification

I hadn’t intended two posts on this topic, but here we are.

Part of the reason is that Cosmopolitan also posted an article on it, and it contains just as much handwringing as they other articles I referenced in the last post. Apparently wrapping someone’s body in plastic wrap is a super advanced kink that you should never do at home. Weird. It goes on to advocate for things like using a weighted blanket or noise cancelling headphones, which is pretty weak sauce. How about just telling people to not put anything around or above the neck?

However, the main reason for a second post is that I saw this post on Twitter. It’s by LustTek and, as far as I can tell from other posts like this and this, they’re building their very own mummification machine. It’s the kind of crazy kinky idea that is both totally OTT but also kind of awesome. I love to see projects like this. Although of course, this one actually is really dangerous! You could solo wrap yourself to death. Let’s hope Euphoria don’t decide to use it in Season 4, otherwise hand wringing in the press will be off the charts.

More mummification does let me feature an expert in it – Mistress Hinako. I’ve featured her work before (for example here and here). The shot is particularly sexy, given the contrast between the extreme mummification and her casual pose.

You can find more from Mistress Hinako on her website, her blog, her instagram and twitter.

Euphoria

The HBO show Euphoria is generating a bunch of coverage for its depictions of kink. It’s not a show I care to watch, so I’ve no idea how fair (or not) its coverage is. If the goal is controversy and debate, it’s certainly managed that.

The latest kink it has drawn on is mummification. That in turn has generated a lot of hand wringing about it’s potential dangers. For example, this Metro article and this in LAD Bible.

The concern seems a little misplaced to me. Or, perhaps more correctly, doesn’t draw the right distinctions. Wrapping plastic over the face for breathplay is definitely dangerous and not for beginners. However, that’s a different thing in my mind to mummification. Wrapping the body below the neck is a lot less risky. It’s not something to undertake lightly. You should always make sure you’ve done basic research, go slowly and have safety shears to hand. But it’s not a high risk activity like breathplay. In some ways it’s easier and less risky than regular bondage. A simple plastic wrap has less chance of causing nerve damage or twisting body parts awkwardly. I’ve done mummification lots of times and always felt safe. Only a small fraction of those experiences involved putting anything over my face.

This mummification shot from The English Mansion does feature something over his face. However, I doubt he’s going to object too much in this case.

Medication

I was amused to spot this vintage ad targeting doctors prescribing Valium (via reddit). Apparently relating well to women with domineering traits was a thing men needed medication for back in the 1960s. It’s a good job we live in (slightly) more enlightened times, or I’d be dosed up to my eyeballs. Although in my case, domineering traits leads to tension that’s more sexual than psychic.

I feel they missed a trick with the models used. We all know sex sells. Surely this was the perfect excuse for some more obviously domme fashion choices of the era?

A Moment

Here’s a moment captured. Something lovely to start the weekend.

I originally stumbled across it via tumblr, but a bit of reverse image searching tells me this is Madame Lule, a Paris based Dominatrix and BDSM coach. She has any number of similarly striking photographs on her site, which is well worth exploring. If you’re in the Paris area, her session information can be found here.

Sleepytime

I’m always intrigued to discover new kinks I’ve not heard of before. After 20+ years on odd corners of the kinky internet this doesn’t happen too often, but occasionally I’m still surprised.

For example, today I discovered Anesthesia is a kink. I obviously knew of medical fetishism and breathplay, but hadn’t realized that the drugs and equipment for anesthesia was also a thing for people. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. As a process, it has all the kind of elements that get fetishized. Lots of control, ritual, uniforms and special materials/equipment.

Personally, while I do enjoy medical play and breathplay, anesthesia alone doesn’t do much for me sexually. However, I could get into fetishizing a really good nights sleep.

I found this image via tumblr. I believe it’s by Leela Lapin who specializes in these kind of heavy medical fantasies. You can find more from Leela via her links page.

Storage

I thought this was a pretty hot variation on a cage design. The outside is a standard cage, which is turned into a box with side panels, which in turn have slots for the shelves with limb/neck cut-outs. Combine it with the right bondage gear and it’d  be a highly objectifying set-up. Just imagine the door closing on you and the click of a padlock.

The creator is Mooser BDSM. Sadly they don’t appear to have a regular website, just an account on Twitter.