A Brief Migration South

There’s a few inches of snow in Seattle. For many parts of America this would mean it was a mild winter day, but for Seattle it’s snowpocalypse. I’m really not kidding about that. People are stripping the local stores of produce, and emptying the hardware stores of snow clearing equipment. In terms of chaos, from my social media feed, it seems to rank somewhere above the Seahawks winning the Superbowl and just a touch below a zombie uprising.

Fortunately, I’m in San Francisco for a few days of fun, well away from the mess. Today I found the best possible way to keep warm and celebrate my well timed trip – playing with Mistress Iris. We had a wonderful session, with a lot of growling, snarling, whimpering, scratching and biting. There was no explicit animal role play, but if a nosy neighbor had sneaked up to  listen, I’m sure they would have thought otherwise. It’s odd, because I’m a fairly quiet person in normal life. Yet wrap some rope around me, and grab me by the balls, and suddenly I turn into an animal sound effects catalog.

This is Mistress Iris with some rather more attractive pets. Pedigree puppies versus me the mangy mutt. This is from a post on her instagram feed.

Memories of Warmer Days

It’s pretty wet, cold and gloomy across a lot of the US at this time of year. I’m pretty certain there are no visual cures for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but if there were, this would surely come close. It’s a lovely Spring picnic scene with an elegant lady and her helpful pet. Hopefully the inevitable ants will focus on picnic basket and not any dangling lower parts.

I’m not sure who the artist is. Reverse image search suggests the name ‘hisano’, but I couldn’t track down any sensible links to other work.

Puppy Play

The rather sexy image below is from Lady Pim who plays out of the Ritual Chamber in Toronto. She also has a short but informative thread on puppy play here.

I’ve never yet indulged in this kink, but it does make sense to me. It pushes buttons around giving up control, obedience, caring dominance, physical restraint, etc. Like a lot of BDSM dynamics, it allows the submissive to simplify his thinking, give up real world concerns and focus on the dominant and her instructions.

Pegging Problems

Dan Savage’s advice column is always worth reading. This weeks column caught my eye because it featured a man who enjoyed being pegged and his partner who very occasionally, when the stars aligned, enjoyed doing the pegging. Dan’s advice about talking more and carving out dedicated time was good and wise. However, I did think he missed a trick by not following up on this part of her letter…

I just want to get it over with and move on with our day, not deal with the pageantry of dress up, stiletto heels, collars and cuffs, lubricating buttholes, graduating to bigger dildos in a session, etc.

I’m not averse to a bit of femdom pageantry myself, but it’s always a nice optional bonus when time and circumstances allow, not the main event. You can have a mind blowing pegging scene with just a simple lubricated strap-on. If time and energy are the issue, then cut the fluff rather than dropping the entire event. Hell, if anal play is the goal, then just a disposable glove, a bit of lube and an enquiring finger (or two) can create amazing sensations.

Despite the fact that I’m lucky enough to experience a lot of femdom dress up and elaborate scenes, my personal pegging fantasy features absolutely no kinky accouterments at all. I always picture a snuggly Sunday morning, when our only plans are to sleep in, read the papers and for me to cook Sunday dinner. I’m happily dozing as my partner slips out to grab her harness and slide back into bed with me. There’s no ropes, leather or stiletto’s. Just some nibbling, nuzzling and hot, intimate sex, that happens to be a pegging scene. I guess we always fantasize about what we don’t have.

This pegging artwork is by Jas. She has a Patreon you can support here and merchandise available here.

Cat with Claws

I just spent 15 minutes in a hotel bathroom trying to photograph the deep red scratches on my legs , thighs and chest. I gave up in the end because the lighting sucked and I figured nobody actually cared about seeing my post-session wounds. They are kind of cool though.

Marks from play are frequently surprising. Sometimes I think my flesh is going to look like a chewed up mess of black and purple stripes, and then when I get to a mirror its a pristine white snowfield, with just a faint red mark visible under the right light. Other times I’ll be puzzled why my body seems so sore, and then I’ll take off my clothes and be astonished at the bloom of colors and sharp slashes the skin shows. Despite years of experience, it’s still hard to tell how pain and pressure will translate into physical skin trauma.

In this case, my vivid long red stripes are courtesy of Mistress Lucy Khan and her vampire claws. In terms of the session they were just an intense but small part. The ribbed urethral sounds and the heavy paddles made a much bigger impression on me at the time. But in terms of a fun memento to admire in the shower and hide on the beach, her claws were definitely the winner.

Mistress Lucy is an LA based pro-domme, with a great space just outside downtown LA. I’ve played with her for years and had countless amazing sessions. Definitely someone worth seeking out if you’re in the area.

Dealing with Drop

Gay Star News has published a pretty basic but good article on post play drop here. Worth reading if you’ve experienced it and are trying to understand more about what happened. I found it interesting to see all the potential causes that they list – endorphins, adrenaline, internalized shame, loss of sense of self, lactic acid, feelings of guilt, etc. In the same ways that BDSM highs are complex and multi-dimensional phenomena, the lows are clearly equally faceted.

The image is one used in the article and taken by istolethetv. Specially this is from the Folsom Street Fair in 2015.

Strange things are afoot at K Shoes

A recent post by Mistress Sidonia featuring a list of ads featuring dommes, led me to this 1989 advertisement for K Shoes and their high heels.  I love this for multiple reasons. Partly it’s the classic 80’s style, with the shoulder pads and the black and chrome office. Partly it’s the great ball cutting shot and sound effect, which I’m amazed they got away with. Mostly it’s because I remember K shoes (and Clarks, who took them over) from my childhood. It feels like I spent a countless number of hot summer afternoons with my mother, trying on their shoes, looking to get the cheapest possible option that’d fit me. I hadn’t thought of them for years, so it was very strange to see this ad in this context and have all those old memories resurface.  Life likes to spring these odd surprises on your now and again.

Of course, I couldn’t let a post like this pass and not take the opportunity to feature a shoe themed image. This gentleman seems to have invested in some sturdy footwear, but forgotten the rest of his outfit.

Two Pets

Here’s an image for anyone who prefers their femdom with a dose of sci-fi, fetish and dehumanization. As is often the case, clothing designers of the future will clearly favor hotness and style over practicality and warmth. That’s a trade-off I’m personally OK with, assuming everyone looks as good as this.

This is by the artist HamletMachine, creator of the comic Starfighter. A lot of her work seems to skew towards more yaoi style man on man action than femdom. If that sounds like your kind of thing, you can read about the comic here, buy prints here and there’s an interview with her here.

Here Kitty, Kitty

Puppy play is a fairly common femdom theme, where kitten play is a lot rarer. That kind of makes sense. Dogs are stereotypically loyal, obedient and slightly dopey. Where cats are independent, curious and will tolerate humans just until they can evolve opposable thumbs. Cats would be the brats of the submissive world.

DomCon in LA has a different take on this, with a Kitty parade organized as part of the festivities. This image is Madame Margherite with her entry into the event. I have to admit, that’s a pretty fine and fierce looking cat. More tiger than kitten. I hope they both do well.