Tag: Leash

Public Play Concluded

Here’s my final post (for the moment) on the topic of public play.

One hard and bright line that’s often invoked is based on the idea of consent. Involving random strangers in your play without their consent is clearly violating some pretty basic BDSM norms. That’s a relatively easy call to make when it comes to physical or psychological involvement. If you’re getting off on strangers getting upset, then you’re getting off by violating their consent. A clear asshole move. But what happens when that’s not your intent, but people get upset anyway? At what point do you need to seek consent from someone?

This isn’t specifically a problem for kinky people. I was reminded of that when I spotted this story on some very well done but very gory Halloween decorations. As a kid, that front lawn scene would have traumatized the fuck out of me. I’d have had nightmares for months. Even now I find it unpleasant to look at closely. So at what point should that home owning Halloween fan have to seek the consent of his neighborhood? Or indeed the consent of anyone who might come down the public street outside his house? At what point should we constrain public freedom of expression? It clearly has to happen at some point, because there will always be someone who pushes a boundary to the breaking point.

I guess my bottom line is: Be wary of blanket statements or simple rules when it comes to public play. It’s always dependent on context and content. I think the leash scene from my original post was over the line, but the scene in the images in yesterdays post is completely fine. Yet it’s very hard to come up with a simple easily applied rule that separates the two.

This photograph represents the kind of ‘public’ play I could get behind. The feel of being outside and exposed, but a big closed door to keep the rest of the world out.

Oxymoron?

Writing my last post raised a question for me: Is it ever possible to do a consensual blackmail scene? Isn’t it actually an impossibility?

Consensual blackmail is clearly a well established niche in findomme play. The domme gets hold of embarrassing material, either directly from the submissive or by creating it from their interactions, and uses it to threaten the submissive. It might be used as a one-off scene or part of an ongoing dynamic involving regular payment.

The thing that makes me question the consensual element isn’t the role of the domme or the submissive. It’s the need for a third party. Pretty much by definition there must be someone who’d be shocked by the material exposed. Blackmail isn’t effective because of the dynamic between the blackmailer and blackmailee. It works because it leverages the relationship between the blackmailee and the other people in their life. If they don’t care, there is no leverage. But if they do care, then how is this ever consensual? The need for shock and offense seems an intrinsic part of the recipe.

I guess you could roleplay the idea of exposing the information, with both parties agreeing that the final step would never be taken. However, that doesn’t typically seem to be how these things play out. It’d certainly drain a lot of energy out of the scene. Roleplay typically focuses on the context and setting for the scene, not the execution. A teacher/student scene is a roleplay, but the beating is still real.

This artwork is by Lera Balashova, found on her Dribble site.

Stay Down

This makes for a nice contrast to the image in my previous post. That was all sweetness and vulnerability. This has a far more brutal edge to it. I particularly love their expressions. It’s a nice contrast of gleeful sadism and accepted suffering.

The style of this seems familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen work from this artist elsewhere, but I’m afraid I can’t place the name right now. I discovered it via this tweet.

Updated: By way of a tweet from Sardax I can at least attribute this 70’s Japanese magazine “Fuzoku-kitan.” The actual artist remains unknown.

Gloves for the Last Time

I swear this is my last glove themed post. At least for the moment. I thought I was actually done yesterday, but then an odd thought struck me.

Gloves are not a prominent fetish. The greatest hits of femdom clothing fetishes are things like boots, heels, stockings and corsets. Gloves don’t even have their own special fetish name. There is a Wikipedia article on it, but while super obscure fetishes like crying (dacryphilia) and amputation (acrotomophilia) have specific names, gloves are just gloves. It’s rare you see a kinkster posting about a love of gloves, where shoes and stockings show up all the time.

Yet when I hunted through my archives for interesting photographs to use, I had a multitude of options. That is not normal. I like post photographs to relate to my text and finding something appropriate often takes a lot of hunting around.  I frequently spend longer trying to find a suitable image than I do writing the post. With gloves I could written a dozen posts and not run out of material. They seem to be one of those things that are really popular, without anyone actually being aware just how popular they are.

My final long glove post image  is from douzocosplay. It’s a cosplay of Ally from Sunstone. You can find more from the artist at her Deviant Art site.

Bark, Bark

This @redditships post looks like another example – like my previous post – of a mismatch in kinky desires. The guy seems to have a puppy kink going on, which his girlfriend doesn’t know how to handle. It’s easy to say she should invest in a collar, leash and muzzle, along with some intensive obedience training, but that’s not exactly what she signed up for.

I suspect they’d have a better chance of making things work if he at least came clean about it. Then it’s a discussion and a possible negotiation, rather than weird passive aggressive doggy behavior. Nobody likes having their leg humped non-consensually.

This artwork is by the artist Ikelag. Be cautious if you look up more of his work. I did a quick search before posting this and discovered that it’s mostly not femdom and often seems to depict people younger than I’d ever be comfortable featuring here. I found this via an old femdom tumblr and liked this particular piece too much not to use it.

Howl at the Moon

This NYTimes article on wolf-kink erotica and copyright battles is nothing to do with femdom, but too fun not to share. I love stumbling on these odd kinky niches that people are incredibly passionate about. It’s like exploring an ancient underground lake. There’s a small innocuous looking entrance hole on the surface but when you drop through there’s this huge complex space with all sorts of weird evolution happening in the depths.

I did search for wolf themed femdom images but, while it might be popular in the printed word, it’s not a major porn theme. Instead here’s the domesticated equivalent. I do like the fact she’s letting him crawl on the grass rather than the stony path. He must have been a good doggy.

Once again the image search engines have failed me on this one. I don’t recognize the domme or the location. If anyone can help me attribute it, feel free to leave a comment.

Strange Choices

Mercy, Maria! has done a highly scientific survey (AKA twitter poll) and discovered that 75% of penis-enjoying dommes also like PIV sex. This survey is of course targeting the tired and stupid cliche that dommes should never has sex with their submissives as that’s not a dominant thing to do. That 75% number doesn’t surprise me, as I’ve been onboard this particular train for many years. For example, in this series of posts here, here and here. Dominance flows from the dynamic and attitude of those involved, not the activities they do.

However, the survey did get me thinking about some of the sessions I’ve done in the last year. Not, I hasten to add, because they involve any PIV activity. There’s no sex in the champagne room or the pro-domme dungeon, but there can be a lot of tease and denial in both, which I personally love. It’s that sense of being so close and yet so far from satisfaction, riding along that fine edge of frustration. I’m normally reduced to an incoherent endorphin crazed mess when a domme rubs against me, whispers into my ear how hot, wet and tight she is, how close to her pussy I am, and then laughingly beats my dick down with the nearest implement to hand.

The idea of having sex being a turn on is probably not going to be earth shattering news to anyone. Yet the thing is, if I wanted to actually put my P into someone’s V, I could arrange that. I could easily book a fun and attractive escort rather than a pro-domme. I could even go really nuts and do that thing people do with the coffee and the dinner and the conversation … you know .. something beginning with D. Dancing? Dillydallying? Dating! That’s it. Yet somehow I choose to play with someone who’ll never have sex with me, yet at the same time uses the idea of it against me, to arouse me and then hurt me.

This artwork is by fruit succubus via this tweet. They have a DeviantArt account here and will accept commissions.

Snow and the 7 Submissives

This fairy tale is brought to you by the artist Ludwig Van Bacon. I think he does a great job of translating the various personalities while adding a kinky slant. I particularly like Grumpy, with his butt plug tail. The nipple tape crosses are an interesting if odd touch. Gimp suits, leashes and chastity devices are fine, but nipples must be covered?

You can see and buy more from the artist at his site and twitter feed.

Shy Puppy

The man on the end of the leash is unsurprisingly depicted as blushing in this scene. What’s slightly stranger is that, if you look closely, the artist has also given the woman holding the leash a touch of blush. That’s an unusual slant on a public humiliation scene. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a situation where both the dominant and the submissive are supposed to be embarrassed about what’s going on. Is she a switch who is pulling off both roles simultaneously? If so, that’s some inception level kink.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this artwork. There’s a hint of a signature at the bottom left, but I can’t make it out.