Tag: Humor

Material considerations

I was chatting about black leather with a young lady this weekend. She was a fan of it, but I wasn’t entirely convinced. She also wanted to charge me a little more for it, which I suppose is understandable. The issue of spilled fluids might have cropped up, which I was definitely concerned about. Sadly, this was an entirely non-kinky conversation about what to upholster some new dining room chairs in. Kinky shenanigans, even of the professional variety, would probably have been cheaper.  Pro-dommes might charge a few hundred dollars per hour, but that’s nothing compared to what interior designers, architects and contemporary furniture can do to your wallet (cue the worlds smallest violin).

The lady in black leather below is of Candice Swanepoel, photographed by Hans Feurer for Vogue Australia. The sequence it’s taken from is really quite amazing. Astonishing even. They managed to take a stunning supermodel, dress her in very expensive black leather, with clothes created by top designers, and end up with some terrible shots. It takes really talent to do that. The image below is OK, but the rest, particularly examples like this, are awful. I think the shots of her walking her dog dressed in an Iron Maiden t-shirt are more flattering than some of these shots.

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What a dildo

I don’t like to feature politics too heavily here. There’s enough of it in the mainstream press, without it intruding into your sex blogs. However, this article on Ted Cruz was too amusing to resist.

Apparently, in his role as Texas solicitor general he once argued that dildos and vibrators should remain illegal in Texas.

In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” That is, the pursuit of such happiness had no constitutional standing.
David Corn in Mother Jones

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t want to live in a country where I can’t stimulate my genitals for non-medical purposes.

Of course, the same guy who wants to monitor peoples sex toys is also the same person who believes in a small goverment that stays out of people’s lives. It takes a very peculiar kind of mind to hold both these points of view at the same time. And for any Ted Cruz supporters out there who I’ve offended, I can only apologize and ask: What on earth are you doing reading this blog? This is a ticket straight to hell.

There is of course only one way to finish a post like this. Here’s a lady sporting a dildo and stimulating her genitals. I’m not sure about her interpersonal status, but that doesn’t look like a medical or procreation situation to me. She better hope President Cruz never takes office.

Stimulation

Camouflage

I wonder who thought this was a good look to go for? Did they start with the outfit and then go looking for a matching chair, or vice-versa? Or was the outfit and the setting all just a lucky coincidence? Are there people out there with a leopard skin fetish? Or are they aiming for the camouflage fetish market? Does she curl up, concealed on the chair, waiting for her moment to leap out with claws unsheathed? Have many unsuspecting male submissives been surprised and mauled by that most dangerous of predators – the indoor leopard domme?

Miss HybridI’m not sure who this attractive but somewhat oddly attired lady is. I’d guess it’s from a more commercial and conventional porn shot than a femdom one, but that’s only a hunch.

Updated : Thanks to my wise and learned readers (specifically Simon) I can now attribute this to the Miss Hybrid site. I was partially wrong about it being from a conventional porn shot, as Miss Hybrid’s material definitely has a fetish and femdom slant, but there’s more regular sexual activity than the standard femdom clips. Also, for anyone reading this and wondering how I could be such an idiot as to miss the big logo on the image – I changed the image. The original had the logo chopped off, but thanks to the attribution I managed to find the original version with logo intact.

Ta-da!

Another image to add to the WTF category. I love their smiles, the plastic wrap bondage and her happy ‘ta-da’ pose. I’d like to think she just did a backflip and landed perfectly in penetrative position. It looks like the kind of pose a gymnast takes at the end of a routine. Except in this case I guess it’d be 9/10 for the mount rather than the dismount.

However, what’s with the weird room and that thing on the butcher’s hook at the back? I know butcher fetishes exist, but this doesn’t seem like that kind of scene. It’s such a strange contrast between their playful attitude and the environment.

Ta-daThis is Sebastian Keys (who has other excellent images on his twitter feed) shooting with Cherry Torn for Divine Bitches. I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr.

Not so super

The new Batman versus Superman movie is out and by most accounts, it’s fairly poor. I’m not surprised, given how weak the previous Zack Snyder Superman movie was. I’ll wait for the latest example to make it to cable before taking a look.

In the meantime, as a contrast to the crazy special effects and somber plots of today’s superheros, here’s a glimpse of a more lighthearted Superman from the Silver Age of comics (mid 50’s to 1970). The plot apparently involves alien possession which is cured (somehow) by a dummy and a beating. At least that’s the excuse the authors came up with for featuring Superman in bondage and a dominant Lois brandishing a flogger.

Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #73

Too many questions

A small fraction of femdom images on tumblr are really great. Most are ‘meh’. A few are WTF! This would be one in the latter category.

Firstly, what’s with the pink theme? She has pink shoes, a pink dress and a pink whip. Even the band-aid on her knee looks pink. Color coordination is one thing, but color coordinating your medicine cabinet is a bit much. Also what’s with the weird beanbag type chair in the corner? And why is there a big pink dildo next to the television? Who thought that fireplace was a good idea? What kind of drugs was the interior designer on? And how did that money end up on the floor?

The lady in question is clearly a very attractive one. Judging by the whip marks she can also hand out a good beating. I’m just puzzled at everything else that’s going on in this Men Are Slaves shot.

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That’s Mistress Hillary to you

I couldn’t do posts on politics and photoshopped images without featuring this famous one of Hillary Clinton. It’s from Spy magazine in 1993. That was Bill’s first term, when Hillary was driving for a health care plan known (inevitably) as Hillarycare.

These days this would be considered as the kind of amateur photoshop job that can pop up anywhere on the internet,, but back then it was fairly eye catching.  I remember seeing it and feeling oddly aroused. This was from a time when I hadn’t fully figured my sexuality out. I wonder how many Senators and Congressmen – from both sides of the aisle – saw it and felt the same way?

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Not so Super Tuesday

It’s hard to avoid politics in America right now. I suspect that might be true for most of 2016, which is a depressing thought.

Despite the vast amount of idiocy on display, there is the odd amusing moment. John Oliver is always brilliant and his take on Trump was true to form. On a topic closer to this blog, I liked the dommes raising money for Bernie. Fifteen minues of spanking for $27 is pretty good value. Of course, when it comes to the political candidates, I’m sure many people would pay to administer the spanking. I’d certainly chip in a few bucks for Megyn to straighten Donald out.

MegynAndDonaldThis is obviously a photoshop. I’m afraid I don’t know who created the original.

Update: Thanks to a helpful comment I can attribute the creator as Andy over at the Someone’s Gonna Get It site. Thanks for creating such a fun image!