Tag: Fm

When a switch marries a domme

I’m guessing from her expression, his desire is likely to go unfulfilled. Or maybe he can be the dominant one, just as long as he does exactly as he’s told.

This drawing for Playboy magazine is by the British cartoonist Francis Wilford Smith. According to his Wikipedia page he was a man of many talents. He did cartoons for Punch, Esquire and The New Yorker. He worked on advertising campaigns for major companies, wrote books on pin-up magazines and was a collector and expert on Blues and Gospel music.

An unusual momento

Like a lot of submissives, I appreciate having something to remind me of an enjoyable play session. It might be bruises from a cane, a hidden bitemark or, as was the case a few weeks back, a heart carved into my chest. Days or even weeks after the event, seeing these physical reminders can put a smile on my face and a little rush of happiness in my heart. Most don’t last much beyond that. Even the scalpel work on my chest is slowly fading and will probably be gone by the end of the month. And yet this weekend I stumbled across something from a session back in 2011 that achieved that same effect. It was a jar of Crystal Hot Sauce.

I’m a keen cook. I’m also pretty organized about labeling, checking dates and throwing old stuff out. Despite this, like a lot of kitchens, I still have that one shelf where odd cans and unused jars migrate to. It’s the graveyard shelf, where strange non-perishable items that I’ll probably never use lurk. I decided to dig up and cleanse my kitchen graveyard this weekend, and the Crystal Hot Sauce was lurking right at the back, unopened. I stared at it for a good while before I remembered the reason I’d purchased it. It was because Lydia had dripped it all over my cock back in a chemical play session in 2011.

I guess technically I didn’t buy it because of its effect on my genitals. At the end of the session I’d tasted it – from the bottle not the cock – and thought it was pretty good. I even said so in my post at the time, and added I’d be purchasing it to keep in the kitchen. I’m clearly a man of my word. That jar, purchased a day or two after the session, stayed unopened in my kitchen for 2171 days.

It’s sadly gone now. It probably lasts forever, but I figure if you don’t use a sauce in the first 6 years of its life, you’re probably not going to use it in the next 6. However, before it disappeared to the big BBQ in the sky, it did give me a smile and a burst of happy memories of that session with Lydia.

This is Mistress Sidonia of The English Mansion doing some chemical play of her own. In this case she’s going in the opposite direction to hot sauce, with a deep cold rub. I’m sure it’ll be equally invigorating for the man in the bed.

Making himself useful

Continuing my image theme from yesterday’s post of public objectification, here’s a man making himself useful. She gets somewhere comfortable to rest while texting her friends. He gets to provide her with somewhere comfortable to rest while texting her friends. It’s a win-win.

As a side observation, it does seem that the style of public play scenes often differs between Asian countries and US/Europe. Obviously I’m broadly generalizing here, and only going from what photographs show up on-line, so treat this as a very casual observation. But it seems when US/Europeans make a scene in public they do it in  a very clearly kinky way, often with props and costumes involved. I’m thinking of images like this or this or this. These feature people who clearly left home with a kinky plan to execute. In contrast a lot of images I’ve featured from Asian countries look like this or this or the image below. They have a more casual look and a sense of normality to them. You can almost believe that they’re going about their daily lives, just with a kinky slant. It’s a style I personally find a lot hotter than the overtly fetishistic public scenes.

 

5 signs you’re reading a crappy magazine

Femina, an Indian magazine for women, has 5 signs that you might be a dominant woman. It’s kind of amazing, although not in a good way. Apparently, liking to have sex on top, initiating sex or simply showing a man how you like to have sex is a sign you might have dominatrix tendencies. I guess non-dominant women are expected to lie on their backs, wait for their partner to notice them, and just hope that whatever their partner likes also gets them off.

There’s certainly value in articles emphasizing you don’t need to have a wardrobe full of leather and the ability to swing a bullwhip to be a dominant woman, but this kind of bullshit is pretty depressing. The subtext is that sane and entirely normal sexual behavior for a man, like initiating sex or wanting to be sexual adventurous, is kinky for a woman. I guess the options according to this magazine are either doormat or dominant.

Oddly, the idea of standing on your partner to reach high shelves doesn’t seem to be covered by any of the article’s 5 signs. Although since having sex on top is dominant, maybe shopping on top falls into the same category?

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

The Kingdom of Women

If you’ve hung around femdom blogs long enough, there’s a good chance you’ll have heard the Mosuo mentioned. They’re an old Chinese community who, as far as I know, are the only example of a matriarchal society in the world. Women sit at the center of their world, with the Grandmother the focus of the family unit, and the traditional idea of marriage doesn’t exist. Relationships are female driven, with men taken as temporary lovers in order to provide sperm or sometimes as longer term partners if their company is deemed enjoyable.

I mention them now because this Guardian article popped up today with a detailed description of their culture, in both its positive and negative aspects. Although it seems a very feminist culture, the focus on motherhood and children undercuts that initial impression. Women are in control, but that control stems from their role as mothers. The idea of not having children isn’t considered one of their choices.

Of course, as so often happens, unique and unusual cultures tend to get distorted and then ultimately destroyed when they come into contact with the modern Westernized world. The Mosuo are no exception. If you’re interested in learning more about them before that happens, the article is based on a book by Choo Waihong.

I believe this image of a non-traditional twist on a traditional Western marriage look features Jake and Pum Lefebure and was photographed by Dean Alexander.

Better Than Life (continued again)

This post on sex and technology by Girl on the Net reminded me that I meant to write more on VR and Femdom. A few weeks back I posted my observations here and here on the current state of the art. I thought I’d followup with a couple of posts on my ideas for the future. Tomorrow I’ll tackle how it might lead to new types of sexual interaction. For today I’ll focus on a type of sensation play I think is perfect for VR – electrostimulation or e-stim.

I was lucky enough to enjoy a variety of e-stim play on my recent Vegas trip, and it reminded me how versatile it is. Keep it low and it’s almost like a pleasant tickling. Build it up in continuous waves and it can induce stress and sensory overload. Sudden sharp bursts are almost like canes or whips in the focused intensity. Use in with an insertable probe (like an electrified butt plug) and the muscle contractions can create a kind of thrusting/fucking sensation. I wouldn’t claim it’s a direct substitute for other kinds of play, but it does offer a uniquely versatile range of stimulation.

The tricky part with e-stim is getting it working properly. Sticky contact pads often have cheap connections and broken wires. TENS units are limited in functionality, tricky to set up and (in my experience) plagued with dead batteries. Every domme I’ve played with, no matter how organized and well equipped, always seems to be spend a bunch of time fiddling with connections and I trying to figure out why cranking the dial to 11 doesn’t get so much as a whimper out of me. I think it’s an area ripe for a high tech solution.

On the flip side, when it comes to VR, BDSM and haptic devices, there choices are pretty limited. There’s all manner of vibrating plugs, sleeves and insertables, but not a lot else. I’ve nothing against a good buzz applied to the right spot, but it doesn’t exactly scratch my masochistic itch. How about a wearable, custom designed and computer controlled e-stim device?

I’m imagining a tight rubber vest, completely interwoven with a grid of wires, wrapping all around the torso. They’d be insulated from each other, but would touch the flesh every half inch or so with a small contact patch. A connection at the bottom would hook the vest wires to a PC driven switch system and powerful multi-channel e-stim device such as an ErosTek. The e-stim device would provide the charge and the computer software would rapidly switch it across different combinations of wires to create different sensations. It could create delicate sensations that gently traced around the body. Or sharp lines of pain that shoot across like a cane strike. Or big waves of shocks that hit in a single point and then radiated out. Smart software could either coordinate the effects with the VR world  or allow another person to control it in realtime. It wouldn’t simulate human touch, or the sensation of specific implements, but it could produce complex and consistent sensations that correlated with behavior in the virtual world.

I’m possibly certainly unusual, but I’ll take a jacket that’ll shock me in strange and unusual ways over a pleasant buzz in the genitals. I just hope there’s enough technology loving kinkster out there like me to make it worth someone building and selling it.

Here’s someone enjoying some strange and unusual electrical stimulation. No fancy high tech equipment required here. Just a lady with a violet wand – a device can trace its roots back to the 19th century. The image is obviously from the Divine Bitches site.

The simple things in life

Here’s a final image in my short sequence of suspension themed posts. This one makes me smile due to the discrepancy between the setting and the action.

The setting is extreme. There’s a padded cell, a severe looking straitjacket and a taxing inverted suspension. In contrast the action is that most simple but frustrating of things – a sharp flick to the head of the penis. With the setting you’d expect her to be wielding some fiendish medical equipment or a scary electroshock device. Instead she’s keeping it simple, personal and very accurately targeted.

This is of course from the Men In Pain site.

Don’t try this at home

Here’s a striking image to continue the suspension theme. I think it falls into the category of ‘hot fantasy, but don’t try replicating it as shown.’ Hanging someone by rope like that is liable to cause all sorts of bad things to happen to their wrists and arms. Use proper suspension cuffs if you want to try this for real. The rest of us can simply enjoy the artwork and the exciting fantasy it may provoke.

This is by the Brazilian artist Pote. He has a lot more artwork available on his blog, although most of it is Mm rather than Fm.

A country swing

It’s unusual to see a properly rigged suspension performed outside. People often shoot bondage scenes outdoors, but nature doesn’t typically provide a lot of load tested reachable hardpoints, in areas safe from prying eyes, with clear space beneath them. This is a rather beautiful exception.

I’m afraid I’ve no idea where this is from. It’s another of the endless images that show up on tumblr with no identification. Please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it correctly.