Fm – Page 157 – Femdom Resource

The complexity of cuckolding

I’ve never been involved in cuckolding. I’m not sure I ever will be. But I do find it a fascinating topic.

I think part of that fascination is to do with the different ways it can manifest itself. Just looking at my blogroll demonstrates that. I apologize in advance if I mischaracterize anyone here, but I think it’s very clear there are quite distinct approaches described. Vanessa seems to have one of the more traditional approaches. She goes out and fucks guys, and enjoys rubbing it in her husbands face (quite literally). Scott and Em also play with the humiliation angle, but the action often involves Scott as well, even if that just means he’s present in the room. It’s more of a pair plus one, rather than two distinct pairs featuring a single female. Then there’s Suzanne, whose relationship seems to be more of a trio, with her sissy husband playing a very intimate role in her sexual couplings. And of course there are those bloggers like Axe who personally dislike the general idea of cuckolding.

As someone who doesn’t kink on emotional masochism or humiliation I tend to side with Axe’s point of view. I certainly get the activity at an intellectual level, but it doesn’t typically push my buttons sexually. However, it’s such a complex dynamic that I find it hard to say for sure. For example, I can imagine a tease and denial type cuckold play that could be very hot. That wouldn’t be a type of rejection or humilation, but simply temporary denial and sadism via sexual frustration. After all, a lot of submissives kink on chastity, orgasm control and very obvious female pleasure. Of course for that style of play, you have to almost completely set aside the emotional aspects of it, which for others is exactly the appeal. As I said, it’s a complicated topic.

I’ll leave you with this shot, originally from Cuckold Sessions, I found it on Femdom Archive tumblr. It looks like it’s taken from an intro-sequence, with a helpful cuckold preparing his mistress for her fun to come.

Back home

I’ve returned safely from my vacation in LaLa land. However, I’ve now got a relative flying in to stay with me for a couple of weeks, so posting may continue to be a bit erratic. Apologies in advance for that.

I’m looking forward to sharing the photographs of my sessions from the last few days. I got to experience all sorts of interesting activities, and we photographed a lot of them. In the meantime, while I go and prepare the spare room for my new guest, I’ll leave you with this shot that I found on reddit. Not sure of the context or who created it, but I thought it was striking and a little unusual.

Swinging the single-tail

I had my back and ass well and truly striped today by Mistress Cynthia Stone. She used one of the heaviest single tails I’ve yet experienced and the resulting marks are pretty special. We snapped photographs so hopefully in a future post I’ll be able to share some images.

Until that exciting moment (settle down at the back there), I’ll restrict myself to this shot (via Selina Minx’s tumblr) of a whipping from the movie The Million Eyes of Su-Muru. With an imdb rating of 2.6/10, it’s clearly not a forgotten classic. However, it does look like the kind of film I’d have watched as a teenager with rapt attention and a strange feeling in my underpants.

It takes an act of God…

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. I’m pretty proud of my posting record here, and it’s rare that I miss a day. Right now I’m taking a few days vacation down in California, and unfortunately it turns out my hotel internet service can’t survive a relatively small 3.4 earthquake. Of all the natural disasters that can strike LA, you’d think earthquakes would be the one they could deal with, but apparently not.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed from this point on. I have some kinky shenanigans planned for my trip, so I’ll report on how they go. In the meantime I’ll leave you with this sweet picture courtesy of the Blue Uniform tumblr.

The rarest of kinky depictions

There’s a huge amount of images out there featuring male dominants and female submissives. There’s a lesser but still fair amount of the various Fm, Ff and Mm pairings. But it’s incredibly rare to see a shot that captures the idea of switching in a single image. Offhand I can’t think of another example I’ve seen. I think this is very clever, although I would have like to have seen a few ropes wrapped around the prone version of the male. I think the image would be a bit better balanced that way.

It’s by the photographer David Samson (free deviant art login required). The original full size version can be seen here.

Oh, that works!

I like this image because her expression is one that I know well. I suspect it’s familiar to a lot of submissives. It’s the expression of “Oh, that works, excellent! Let’s do more of that.”

There’s often a lot of improvisation in a scene. As Helmuth von Moltke (the elder) famously said “No plan survives contact with the enemy”. Most BDSM scenes start with a master strategy but degenerate (or evolve) as physics and sweaty bodies get involved. However, I’ve noticed that as the improvisation unfolds there’s often an ‘Aha!’ moment. It’s that key moment the dominant discovers which of her ideas work really well. From a submissive point of view, its a little bittersweet. There’s a shared happiness that the scene is coming together, but a sense of dread that things are only going to get significantly more painful from here on out.

This image is from the Divine Bitches site.

Clamping the tender parts

A quick post tonight, as it’s a busy holiday weekend for me. This image caught my eye for it’s sense of tenderness and togetherness. I always like play that blends a little cruelty with a little tender affection. The only thing better is play that blends a lot of cruelty with just that bit of tenderness.

I found this originally on the Work Is Never Over tumblr, but I believe it’s from a movie called Whipsmart from Good Vibrations starring Mistress Morgana. She’s undoubtedly a fan of nipple clamps, as she makes clear on her entertaining biography page.

Invisible touch

Yesterday’s post triggered several interesting comments and prompted some further thoughts on the perception of a scene. One particular comment was by Mark on the touching hands in the image I featured.

Notice her hand gently resting on his. For me, an incredibly powerful element of the scene.

I wonder if that gentle, reassuring touch would mitigate, somewhat, the ramp up in intensity that you described when under the blindfold.

I had noticed (and enjoyed) that aspect of the image, but the post was getting so long I decided not to comment further on it. Mark’s observant comment got me thinking about touch, and what a great example of shifting perceptions it can be.

Simple caresses can play a huge part in a scene. Not everything has to be about extremes of pain or pleasure. Fingers skating across the skin, tracing the lines of muscle or caressing a limb. Each little contact plays a part in building the dynamic. When I can see them, touches to me are predominantly sensual. They’re about the pleasure in the contact of another body. They might be soothing after an intense pain, or promising of what’s to come, but the underlying message is a hedonistic one.

Yet take my sight away and a touch becomes quite different. Partially they’re reassuring. Little grounding moments that tell me I’m OK, she’s right here with me. Like an animal being petted, I relax into her hand. But this reassurance is a double edged sword. It can be taken away. Giving it subtly emphasizes its importance to me. So there’s now an element of fear. What if she takes it away? What if I need that emotional contact? Losing a sensual touch is disappointing, but losing a reassuring one can be scary. It moves the balance from pleasure to control, a shift of perception unrelated to the physical contact itself.

I’ll leave you with an image of what appears to be some very pleasurable touching, with a nice undercurrent of control. It was shot by Michele Block-Stuckens and is called Toy Boy.

See no evil

One thing that getting involved in BDSM has taught me is how simple things can drastically alter my perception of reality. People are constantly building a model of the world in their mind. They combine the signals from their senses to create a personal version of reality. I think most people see this as a very robust and simple additive process. Faulty or missing signals should not change what reality is. I suspect we have to implicitly believe this or we’d go crazy. But in fact adding or removing a signal doesn’t simply enhance or reduce our internal model of the world. It mutates it in far more complex ways.

I experienced a reminder of this tonight, while playing with Lydia. She had me transfixed in a web of ropes, electrics attached to various points, and was scratching and piercing me with a collection of needles. As far as activities go this was pretty intense, but nothing too unusual for us. Then she introduced a blindfold. In theory this shouldn’t have changed too much of my mental model. The only thing I could see was her ceiling or her face. It wasn’t like I needed to be reminded what either of them looked like to understand what was happening. Yet it radically changed how I felt.

With the blindfold on I pulled away from the pain. I feared it. The sensation was sharper, more intense. My anxiety levels rose. I said ‘no’ occasionally, something which does nothing to slow Lydia down, but is unusual for me. My sense of the surrounding world shrank. I lost track of time.

When she removed the blindfold, everything changed. I moved towards the pain, wanted it. The actual sensation of it changed. My breathing slowed and I felt calmer. I fixated on her, and felt a powerful wash of emotion towards her. My vocalization changed from screams to moans. I found I could more easily focus without being distracted by the electric shocks. The engineer in me wants to say this makes no sense. The signal from my eyes was telling me nothing I didn’t already know. In terms of information theory, the entropy of the signal was zero. Yet, it clearly did radically change my experience and perception of what was happening.

I’ll leave you with an image of a man experiencing his own version of a modified reality, courtesy of Divine Bitches.

Site Updates

I’ve made a variety of additions to a number of pages.

To the blogroll on the right and the blog page I’ve added links to Veronica Volt (an LA based pro-domme) and to The Pervocracy (featured in yesterday’s post). I was also happy to move he stoops to worship out of the dead blogs section, after slave domnei left a comment indicating it had returned to life.

To the equipment page I’ve added links to Jack’s Floggers, Wild Gasmasks and Slaughter House Couture.

To the femdom fiction page I’ve added a link to Miss Irene Clearmont, who has a selection of well written femdom stories freely available.

Finally, on the femdom image page I’ve cleaned up a few dead links and added the following tumblr’s…

I’ll leave you with a shot I found on one of those added tumblrs, specifically Blue Keys.