The beauty of dominant women
I’m taking a few days vacation up in the fine city of Vancouver, BC. As usual I plan to indulge in some kinky fun and fine food. Hopefully both parts of the plan will work out well, but posting may become a touch erratic in the meantime.
While I unpack my suitcase and inspect the minibar, I’ll leave you with another gentleman enjoying some preparation and anticipation. It’s originally from the CBT and Ball Busting site, but I found it on Freya’s Fancy tumblr.
O Miss Pearl is the latest blogger to venture into the debate around the intersection of pro and non-pro female dominants. She has two recent posts on the topic here and here. I’m going to try and avoid getting deep into the details of her posts. I’ve touched on similar issues in the past (e.g. a series of posts on kink and money here, here, here, a debate with DD here), and while I may quibble about parts of Miss Pearl’s posts, I do agree with the majority of her points. I’m a huge fan of pro-dommes in general, but I still think it’s a bad thing that they’re commonly seen as the primary representation of female domination.
I will say that I think it’s important in these discussions to avoid purely binary classifications. There’s not a single type of pro/client interaction, in the same way there’s not a single lifestyle interaction. These things exist on a continuum. There’s also not a single role that people are uniquely assigned. It’s often acknowledged that a pro-domme may also be a lifestyle dominant, but that same flexibility should also be attributed to her clients. It’s not wrong to occupy multiple categories. What’s wrong is to take a dynamic unique to one and apply it to another. Pro-dommes aren’t looking for a date and lifestyle dommes don’t exist to service male submissive fantasies.
Shortly after reading Miss Pearl’s thoughts I came across this post by Ms Maya Midnight. She’s talking about clients who ask for an ‘easy session’ and what a pain in the ass they usually are. Their definition of what an ‘easy session’ is rarely chimes with hers.
My definition of an easy session is one where I can wear and do more or less whatever I want — or at least have a very wide variety of enjoyable activities to choose from. It also means an easygoing, responsive sub with good communication skills who doesn’t top from the bottom. It does not require much if any prep.
I thought it made for an interesting statement in the context of the pro/lifestyle debate. Often the complaint from lifestyle dominants is that guys expect them to dress like a fetishists wet dream and focus with laser like intensity on the submissive’s very specific fantasy scenarios. i.e. The stereotypical pro/client scenario. Yet, for a pro, her best clients are those who care about the dynamic (rather than an activity or outfit), communicate well and actually submit. I suspect the above list of attributes would strike a cord with lifestyle dominants just as much as professional ones.
The image is taken from Ms Maya Midnight’s website. She’s a NYC based pro-domme. Her interests and a link for booking a session is available here.
This is an image that misses out on a lot of the elements I normally look for in a post. It’s harsh, brutal and fetishistic. Yet somehow it works for me. I think it’s the contrast between the tight shiny boot and his soft malleable tongue. Femdom imagery is heavy with boot or heel on cock and balls, but the tongue is rarely featured. In many ways it’s even more of a squirmy image than the usual CBT shots. I can imagine tugging and pulling to free my genitals from getting squished, but pulling my tongue? That’s a shiver inducing thought.
I found this on the Innocence is Bliss tumblr. I think it’s originally from the sadly defunct Young Goddess site.
After a couple of text heavy posts I think it’s time for something a little more visually appealing. I always aim for a blend of “Hmm, interesting…” and “Wow, that’s hot.” I believe we’re due for one of the latter. Although hot is always in the eye of the beholder. And in this particular beholders case, that means Kendra James applying clothespins to some lucky gentleman’s genitals.
I found this image on the Brutal Cock & Ball Torture tumblr. It’s originally from the Men in Pain site.
Regular readers may remember this previous post critiquing William Saletan’s BDSM articles at Slate. His latest offering is considerably better that his past efforts, but that’s not exactly a high bar to aim over. There’s actually some real data in this new article, although his thinking remains flabby and his reasoning haphazard.
He doesn’t seem to understand common activities like piercing or electrical play, or when tools like safewords might be needed, and therefore makes foolish sweeping statements. He correctly states that BDSM participants are not a single homogeneous group, but finishes with a set of conclusions that implies they are. I also think his concerns about exploitation based on the gender percentages in the top/bottom roles makes no sense in the framework he presents them. However, I’m going to ignore all that, and instead talk about a single issue he raises: Is BDSM an orientation?
This is a hot button topic for some kinky people, who get quite passionate about it. He implies it’s not because some fraction of people only dabble in kink. Personally I think the whole discussion is a red herring.
The people who argue that it is an orientation often seem to draw from, or adopt similar arguments to, some of the recent debates on gay rights. The religious right would argue that being gay was a choice and therefore gay people were choosing to give up their right to marry. Presumably they thought that people were being gay just to spite them. The obvious counter argument was that homosexuality was an intrinsic part of someone’s identity, and it was therefore unfair to penalize someone for something they had no control over.
I think getting dragged into that kind of discussion misses the point on two counts. Firstly, when you’re dealing with prejudice and bigotry, any apparently logical argument offered is really just a smokescreen. If you knock it down they’ll simply move on to another. The color of someone’s skin is clearly intrinsic to a person, but that didn’t stop society withholding civil rights from minority groups for many years. They simply picked a different reason to do so. Secondly, there are plenty of examples of society protecting the rights of groups that are the result of choice. For example, nobody pops out of the womb with a specific religious affiliation, despite what some religions may claim. Yet religious freedom is something society chooses to legally protect.
Rather than arguing that particular groups are special, we should be arguing for a culture that has a strong bias to protect people’s rights to live their lives as they see fit. And if you’re going to claim that their freedom to do so harms you in some way, then that had better be some clearly provable harm that we’re talking about. Not just that you think it’s icky to have a co-worker who might be into BDSM. Or that you think there’s some risky but undefinable moral hazard to having kinky people bring children up.
I wasn’t really sure what photograph was suitable for accompanying this post, so I thought I’d simply continue the medieval theme from yesterday. Mr Saletan seemed particularly concerned about knife play. I wonder what he’d make of bloody big sword play?
The image is by the photographer Jerrell Edwards (also on deviant art). I found it on Thy Queendom Come, Thy Will Be Done tumblr.
I had a number of topics I wanted to write about this weekend, but social events and sunshine got in the way. So I’ll keep this short and leave you with a simple but enjoyable image of gripped nipples and big grins. In her case I think the expression is one of straightforward delight. In his, there’s a probably an element of surprise and pain, but I think there’s still a big smile in there somewhere.
The image is originally from Divine Bitches. I found it on the Girls Rule, Subs Drool tumblr.
I love wax play. It combines masochistic pain with a soothing warmth. Unlike a cane strike, where the initial blow is nothing compared to the sting that comes later, wax pain is all about the first splash. Once you’ve survived that, you get to enjoy a beautiful sensation as it slowly cools.
The only problem with it is the days you’ll spend afterwards digging bits of wax out of odd crevices. Sand from the beach has nothing on molten wax.The gentleman in the image below was at least wise enough to shave beforehand. I can personally attest that the pain of hot wax is nothing compared to the pain of someone forcefully scraping cold wax out of pubic hair.
I found this on the Mujeres Dominantes tumblr. Judging by the linked Dick-n-Jane page it seems like this particular candle is more about massage than BDSM, which I personally think is a shame.
Here’s an image to restore mental peace after the battle of the last post. My lizard brain can enjoy the attractive dominant lady, her leather garb and that excitingly tight top. My simian brain nods approvingly at the outdoor appropriate clothing, the hefty chain leash and the appropriately positioned slave.
The lady in question is, of course, the wonderful Mistress T. She recently seems to be on a one women mission to make the already fine city of Vancouver an even more exciting location to live. This image was shot far from there, in my old part of the world, for the English Mansion site.
I found this image on the Rebel Mistress tumblr.
This is the kind of image that kicks off a fight between my lizard brain and my simian brain. It’s a nasty no holds barred affair that, unfortunately, is usually won by my simian brain.
The lizard brain always gets the first few shots in. It’s very shouty – “Naked Lady! Nice thick rope. Leashes are hot. Cute expression on him. Long legs! Butt! Boobs! BOOBS!” It does likes boobs.
While the simian brain is a little slower to start, it tends to finish stronger. There are less boobs and more – “Why are her legs shiny? Did she oil them? And, if so, why? Where did she get the oil from? They’re in some sort of derelict building or underpass. How would they end up naked there? Is she cold? That floor looks stony. I’ve got to think taking her shoes was an unwise move. His ripped jeans are a little dated. Although maybe they’re coming back. Did I give my ripped jeans to Goodwill? Am I too old for that look? I reckon I could still pull it off. Sorry, what was I looking at again?”
I found the image on the domina girl tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for it.
When I first saw this image I thought something about it looked familiar. Then I spotted the drawing against the wall. They’re re-creating a scene by the famous Japanese artist Namio Harukawa. I think that’s a great idea. As far as I can tell this is a one off for the back-cover of a face sitting video (with what looks like possibly stolen Sardax artwork on the front), but I think it’d make for a fascinating theme for a photographic series. I’ll personally volunteer for helping re-create Rodzo or Stanton images. On the other hand, Augustine or Annmo Knight might be a little more challenging.
