Sex toys evolved

While I’m on the subject of sex toys (as I was), Fusion magazine has a good article on the latest generation of them. The main thrust (huh huh) of which is that their designs are moving away from the conventional penis shapes towards whatever works or (in some cases) looks most stylish.

As an engineer I’m a fan of this approach. The optimization should be towards orgasms or aesthetic appeal, not badly replicating nature. After all, we don’t make automobiles in the shape of horses or houses that look like caves. We evolve both form and function.

Of course you don’t necessarily need cleverly designed toys to have fun. Sometimes just a few everyday items from your kitchen will do.

VintageFemdom

A taste of claret

The theory that young blood can reverse the aging process seems to crop up fairly often in the popular press. I featured it last year in a post, I’ve seen it crop up several times since then, and now there’s a longer and more detailed article on it is available. I’m not sure if that’s because there’s been genuine progress, or it’s just a story that ticks all the boxes for a great internet article. It features popular science, an anti-aging breakthrough, an easily understood concept and the opportunity for endless vampire jokes. What’s not to like about that?

If it turns out to be true, it might not only help an aging population, but also fix the student debt problem in America. Rich old fucks might not want to pay more taxes to support education, but they’d certainly pay top dollar for a donated pint of magic youth juice. No need for balconies, billowing curtains and diaphanous nightdresses. Warren Buffet doesn’t need to invest in an opera cape. Just set up a few scholarship funds in return for some regular pints of the red stuff. It’d be a communist metaphor for capitalism come to life.

In the meantime, while I wait for the pesky business of the endless medical trials and tests, it does give me an excuse to feature more hot vampire action. I doubt I’ll ever get tired of that.

Chained Man and Lady Vampire
I found this on the Femdom Artist site, which says it’s by the artist Sebastia Boada.

The pH of pee

Apparently pee is now an in thing with the in crowd. And when I say ‘in’ crowd I mean the small group of people with more money and fame than braincells. The likes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Elle Macpherson are now measuring the acidity of their pee and tailoring their diet to minimize it. Being clear and drinkable seems to be a goal.

Now I don’t want to shock anyone here, but I would happily drink Gwyneth Paltrow or Elle Macpherson’s pee. If they think that’d make them more healthy then I’m happy to help. But back in the real world, anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle should probably steer clear of crazy celebrities and faddy diets. If you think that having clear pee is living the dream then seek professional help. It takes something to make me look like the sane one, but that’s crazy talk.

Of course if watersports are your thing then this diet might actually be helpful. Just don’t expect to live any longer as a result of it.

Golden-Shower
I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this somewhat strange vintage drawing. I found it on the Femdom Artists site.

Sculpture

Femdom sculpture is a rare thing. There might be millions of femdom photographs and tens of thousands of drawings, but I’m hard pressed to find many examples of sculpture. The only previous occasion I posted an example was here, and that was a particularly modern interpretation. The cast bronze piece below has a more traditional slant. Now I just need to find some femdom interpretative dance and I’ll have featured a full range of fine arts.

Bronze Femdom SculptureThis is by the artist Tom Maseau. Unfortunately I’ve been unable to track down any biographical information on him.

Beefy pets

This lovely drawing of a pet and his owner is from the artist Silk Box. The text that accompanied the original tumblr post is well worth quoting in its entirety.

I was thinking about dogs, and then I was thinking about pets, and then I was thinking about beefy pets that are well-trained and sleep in an alcove under your bed, and do 50 pushups while you sit on top of them, and lick your breakfast from your fingertips and sit and lie down and spread their legs when you command it, and anyway.

Pet

You’re plugged!

The last couple of posts have been kind of serious, so it’s probably about time to lighten this blog up a bit. With that idea in mind, I bring you the Donald Trump Butt Plug. That should put a smile on everyone’s face, apart from The Donald.

I’ve always considered Donald Trump a kind of one man comedy show. If you treated his public persona as a kind of advanced performance art piece it can be pretty entertaining. Unfortunately with his immigration comments he crossed the line from buffoon into racist rabble rousing, which does tend to kill the humorous angle. The butt plug in the current design isn’t actually safe to stuff up your ass, but it certainly would make for a striking decorative conversation piece. There aren’t many butt plugs sporting a combover.

Vegetable Butt PlugThis artwork is from Waldo. It looks like a science experiment in progress. I only hope she doesn’t have a marrow on her ‘to try’ list.

Fatal Femme

Is there an official name for a fetish focused on ethically compromised female assassins/sidekicks in movies? If not there really should be. I think I have that one.

Kill Bill is of course packed with this type of character, perhaps most notoriously GoGo Yubari. James Bond had Fatima Blush and Xenia Onatopp. Sin City has deadly little Miho, who might not have been evil, but was certainly amoral. Also in the not evil but also not exactly good we have Black Widow and Angelina Jolie as Mrs Smith. In the comic book realm, and more as evil side kicks rather than assassins, we have Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Dr Girlfriend (who I always found strangely sexy).

The latest character to add to this list is Gazelle from the violent but highly entertaining movie Kingsman. It’s not exactly Citizen Kane, but it is an fine pastiche of Bond movies and the original TV Avengers. I particularly enjoyed watching Gazelle (played by Sofia Boutella) kill people with her prosthetic steel legs. If I ever make it to Supervillain status, hiring someone like her will be right at the top of my list, just after buying a hollowed out volcano for my headquarters and picking out the color swatches for my minions uniforms.

Gazelle1
Gazelle2

Happy Independence Day

I’ve been slacking in my blogging duties. I apologize. July 4th was independence day in the US, which typically means lots of parties and drinking. As a Brit living in the States it’s a particularly entertaining period for social events, and that has been eating into my posting time.

Normal blogging service will be resumed soon. In the meantime I’ll leave you with an appropriate image. Remember kids – never shove fireworks up your ass. Nothing good can come from that.

FireworksI believe the artist here is Dboy.

Games

I was fortunate enough to get to play a new game with Lydia tonight. It was called “How many needles can we put into paltego’s scrotum?” Much fun was had by all. The final score was Scrotum 1 Needles 40. Although when you play that kind of game it’s not really the score, it’s the taking part that counts.

I’m not exactly sure what game is being played in the image below, but once again it looks like the man is on the losing side. I think he should count himself lucky. This lady looks like the type to enjoy celebrating after her victory. Lydia is more the ‘spray some disinfecting alcohol on all the punctured area and enjoy watching him squirm’ type.

Femdom Game by TBTThe only thing I know about this artist are the initials TBT. It looks a bit like the style of xrenderer, but I’ve no evidence beyond that observation to link the two.