Great Line or the Greatest Line?

I have to thank Eris Martinet for sharing what might be my favorite chat-up line of all time. I assume it was delivered at a BDSM party and obviously came from a male admirer.

I’ve come to meet you at this party for a free caning. Now would you like to see photos of my Lamborghini?
Via this tweet.

I just love how much is going on and how little self-awareness exists in those few words. It takes real talent to boast about wealth while simultaneously communicating how cheap you are.

For any readers that can’t see the problem then may I also direct your attention to this article – Penis extensions don’t work, study finds. I know there’s no direct connection between these, but I have the feeling that the kind of guy that boasts about his Lamborghini to a domme he just met is also the kind of guy who’d be in the market for a penis extension. It turns out those operations are about as successful as this line was.

This is Miss Martinet (from her social media feed) spanking Mia, who is doubtless a lot more intelligent and courteous in her approach. If you’re interested in being on the receiving end yourself, then Miss Martinet is UK based and specializes in domestic discipline and behavior correction. Her professional site is here. Oddly her contact form doesn’t have a question on it about what vehicle you drive.

LA Fun Continued, Continued, Continued

For my final session in LA I met up with someone I’ve played with multiple times in the past – Mistress Lucy Khan. It was an appropriate end to my trip, as we played longer than the other sessions, and managed to combine an intense mixture of many different things. Some revisited themes of my other LA sessions (tease & denial, scent play, CBT, flogging) while others were unique to this particular event.

Notable in the ‘new activities for this trip’ column was an electrified urethral sound and vacuum cupping. The sounding was one of those activities that seem quite mild and pleasant – right up to the moment where it suddenly becomes an awful lot of ouch. In contrast the cupping was a much more meditative experience, almost relaxing, while producing some really spectacular marks. We shot a picture at the end of the session which shows them off pretty well  – here. My back also received a pretty heavy flogging, so there are multiple layers of marks and texture laid down by Lucy for that image.

After four different sessions with four different but highly talented dommes, it was interesting to reflect back on their approaches and stylistic variations. I enjoyed every session I did, but I think my most natural fit was with Mistress Iris and Mistress Lucy. They tend to a more playful approach, mixing laughter with intense moments. In fact if you look carefully at the image of my back, you can see Mistress Lucy smiling in reflection in the mirror. I take kink seriously, but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious. As I’ve written in the past, I think my fundamental kink is for contrasts, and I love Lucy’s ability to switch gears, sometimes pushing me hard and sometimes joking and playfully teasing. It’s a style which makes for a great play session in every sense of the word play.

This is Mistress Lucy in one of the rooms of her private session space, shot just before our session. You can browse her twitter feed here and visit her professional site here.

Weirdly Hot

After my strangely sexy post of last week, today I have something that’s weirdly hot. I’m not particularly into foot torture and yet this shot, by Mistress Hinako, really grabs me. I think it’s the contrast between the heavy restrictive rope bondage and the artfully placed clothespins. It’s a beautifully balanced pose and picture. Severity around the torso and delicacy around the toes.

This is from this tweet by Mistress Hinako and also her new blog post, which features more images from the same session. If you’d like to see more of her work, she has a members site here.

LA Fun Continued, Continued

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I was fortunate enough to session with Mistress Damiana Chi on my latest LA trip. She was kind enough to snap a few pictures of our play, which I thought I’d share here.

One of the great things about playing with someone like Mistress Damiana is the flexibility it brings. She has an enormously wide skill set which is complemented by a beautifully equipped space. So in whatever kinky direction the two of you are leaning – from basic hard corporal to an intricate bondage setup – it’s possible to put together a scene.  I was hankering for some tight restrictive bondage, so Mistress Damiana combined a plastic wrap mummification with additional layers of ropes.

This shot and this one show the basic set-up. The board I’m on is forked at the legs, allowing each leg to be wrapped individually, and my head is held by plastic wrap placed around the chin and forehead. This side shot shows the  suspended board, which not only looks cool, but also gives a lovely floaty feeling as it moves around. Finally, this shot shows the final rope arrangement, with a second layer of white rope added on top of the blue rope which is on top of the plastic wrap. Presumably that extra restriction was just in case I tried to escape.

Of course the bondage was only the start of my problems. Once that was in place it was time to pull out the nipple clamps, spiky wheels, electrical probes and slappy paddles. Sadly we were having way too much fun to shoot pictures of any of that activity. By the end I was a sticky quivering incoherent mess under all that plastic wrap, awash in perspiration and endorphins.  Fun times.

This image is sadly not me, but I thought it was a sweet image to share. It’s from this tweet, and features Mistress Damiana and her sister Jezebel Chi (along with other Chi Temple dommes), collaring their slave ‘footboy’ after 19 years of service. Well done footboy.

In at the Deep End

When I was a young child I used to enjoy a BBC series called In at the Deep End. It featured a couple of journalists trying to master particular professions (hairdresser, butler, auctioneer, etc.) while being advised and trained by experts. Back in the days of 4 TV channels and no internet, this counted as quality entertainment. I hadn’t thought of the series in decades, but then this Vice article on being a Stunt Cock brought it all back to mind.

The stunt cock in question is trying the experience for the first time and learning as he goes. He first gets to feature in a scene with Alyssa Reece and then with Mistress T and one of her cuckold clients. The total payment for the cuckold scene is $200, which sounds like a great deal for getting to have sex with Mistress T, until you read the article. Then it seems less like happy sexy fun, and more like a fair amount of stress and emotional work.

Sadly the original BBC series never included a stunt cock episode. Personally I think seeing a serious BBC journalist try to maintain an erection on camera while a random member of the public stared at him from the corner of the room would make for a great 30 minutes of entertainment.

This image is from Mistress T and one of her cuckold themed tweets.

LA Fun Continued

My LA session fun continued yesterday with Mistress Damiana Chi. Which I’m not going to talk about. That’s because we shot some photographs, so I need to get and edit those before posting about the session itself. Hopefully that’ll happen in the coming days.

Instead, I’ll move onto what I got up to today with Mistress An Li. Glutton for punishment that I am, I ended up with back to back to back sessions. This was the first time An Li and myself had played together, which is always an interesting situation. I’d swapped just a couple of emails, chatted for a few minutes, and suddenly I’m naked and getting smacked around by this total stranger. Admittedly, it’s a very attractive stranger in sexy fetish wear who does this thing for a living but, after all these years of play, it’s still kind of weird.

I’m not sure our respective play styles really meshed all that well. I tend to a more playful, chatty style that eases into the serious stuff. I like a positive collaborative approach, rather than a more serious dynamic that leans  towards humiliation and negative feedback. That’s absolutely not a criticism – a lot of submissives love that style – but it’s not a natural one for me. Despite that I think we ended up having an enjoyable session.

Foot fetishism doesn’t do much for me, but I do love scent play, so having An Li smoosh her sweaty feet in my face while smacking me in the balls was pretty hot. There was also some nicely judged flogging, spanking and caning thrown into the mix, along with some some leather and chain bondage. I particularly enjoyed An Li’s approach to jangling chains and throwing them down hard on the floor. That creates a very evocative sound which really catches the attention, particularly when you’re naked and bent over a piece of dungeon furniture.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s website.  If you’re in the LA area and want to play in person then her session information is here. Alternatively, you can buy her clips here and see her social media posts here.

Tease, Denial & Bite

My LA trip so far has been a lot of fun. I’ve probably over scheduled my play sessions (as usual) and definitely eaten too much, but there are worse problems to have in life.

It kicked off with a fabulous session with Mistress Iris, where we attempted to answer the question: Just how hard can someone bite my nipple while teasing and frustrating me? The answer is very hard. Very hard indeed. I was still tender several days later. It’s amazing what being tied up and toyed with can do for my pain threshold. I don’t have a vore kink, but being bitten while in subspace does sometimes make the idea of being devoured actively appealing. At least in that moment.

For fans of Mistress Iris, or just fans of great kinky imagery, I’d encourage you to check out her newly launched Patreon. As I’ve written before, I think she produces some of the hottest and most aesthetically interesting femdom content around, so her Patreon should definitely be worth investing in.

This image of Mistress Iris was shot in Japan, with the traditional cherry blossoms as a backdrop.

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Strangely Sexy

Not sure why, but I find this strangely sexy. The shoes on the hands are silly and the setting is silly. Yet, the high heels and taut bodies still make it oddly hot. Not sure it really counts as femdom, but feel free to picture a domme just off camera wielding a whip and forcing them into heels for her pleasure.

According to this tweet this is Adam Nicklas, Walter Savage & Aurélien Muller. Photographed by Tony Duran for Brian Atwood shoes.

An Awkward Couple of Hours

I flew down to LA today for some R&R. Or I guess I should say some D&D – Dine & Domme. I’m looking forward to the trip, but I can’t say I started it particularly brilliantly.

When I got onto the plane I did the usual seat nesting process we all do. Stashing bags away, fiddling with the seat pockets, firing up my devices, etc. I’d just unlocked my iPad when the flight attendant came across to offer me a drink. That distracted me into a short conversation with him, followed by an exchange of pleasantries with my seat neighbor. A minute or two later I looked back down at my iPad and realized it was open on twitter and that this tweet from Mistress An Li happened to have landed front and center on my screen. While I’d being making civilized small talk, my iPad had been endlessly looping a gif of An Li staring at the camera through a toilet seat while spitting, pissing and presenting her asshole. That might make for good porn, but it’s not exactly the first thing I’d want to share with a cabin full of people at the start of a flight.

Nobody said anything, but I can’t believe they missed it. I might as well have been wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with “I’m a colossal pervert” across the front. Sorry seat buddy and Delta flight dude.

Of course in some cases it’s possible to combine airlines, femdom and toilet play porn. For example, I give you the SkyQueens series by Yapoo. If one of these videos had started playing they’d have probably had me arrested by the nearest air marshal.