Femdom Resource – Page 273 – The beauty of dominant women

No means ‘We need to talk’

Ferns over at Domme Chronicles has a new post up about how to deal with a submissive saying ‘no’ to a dominant’s instruction. For those in a lifestyle relationship it seems like a very useful and thoughtful post. Sadly I’m not in that situation currently. However, for some reason, I did think it was kind of hot. I realize that this response is peculiar even by my own warped standards. After all, it’s about how to deal with the D/s dynamic not working. Yet somehow, the calm methodical way Ferns approaches the issue is kind of sexy.

I should probably get out more. I don’t want to develop a relationship advice column fetish. Buying porn is one thing, but I’d hate to be get caught hiding a copy of Cosmo under the latest issue of Tranny Granny Spankathon.

Sadly I don’t have any pictures from that particular publication, so I’m going to my random grab-bag of images for something to accompany this post. I’m going to guess that ‘no’ wasn’t an issue for the young lady when it came time to shoot this particular scene.

Found on the She Knows What’s Best for Me tumblr site.

Small and cute

Automobile manufacturers are always happy to use a pretty woman to help sell a car. This latest one from Fiat is no different, but it is at least for a very cute small fun car. Apparently its got a sexy Italian accent and is capable of slapping me around before teasing me with foamy milk. Or something. I’m not really sure what the ad was trying to tell me. Perhaps the car is prone to sudden mood swings? It’s Italian, so it will probably break down a lot. However, it did make me want to buy the car, so I guess that’s pretty much the definition of success for an ad.

The sexiest thing in the world

Amanda Gannon over at Adventurotica has an interesting post up entitled ‘Femdom and Fulfillment’. It was sparked by a post on the Not Just Bitchy blog that I’ve already covered in the past, and like that original post it’s basically a rant against the common depictions of femdom in culture and pornography.

I have mixed feelings about these kind of posts. I completely agree with the underlying sentiment, and I’d love for more emphasis to be be placed on the dynamic between dominant and submissive, rather than simply the male response. At the same time the pedantic bit of my brain wants to quibble with all the generalizations that get made when discussing such a broad area. And the problem solving bit of my brain wants to ask “So what’s my list of action items? We have a plan to fix this, right?” I realize that’s unfair and it shouldn’t be necessary to have a solution before you can highlight a problem. But speaking personally I’m more a fan of posting about and promoting what I like rather than what I don’t, no matter how justified that dislike.

And speaking of posting about what I like, that segues me very nicely into my favorite part of Amanda’s post.

What about men who …….. want a woman who is hard and hot and lustful, who will hurt them until they cry not because they are worthless, but because they are so goddamn precious, a woman who will hurt them and comfort them, who values them, and, dare I say, a woman who doesn’t see anything submissive about riding their submissive’s cock like a goddamn racehorse?
Amanda Gannon

Amen to that. There’s nothing better that a dominant who is actively enjoying what she or he is doing.

I was playing last night with Lady Lydia. She’d wired my cock and balls with electoshock bands, and was lying alongside my restrained body playing with the voltage. She would look across at me and spike it up, making me writhe with the pain. And then she’d laugh. Joyfully. Gleefully. It was the laugh of a happy sadist, enjoying the moment. I remember thinking, in between groans, that it was the sexiest thing in the world.

This image is from the CBT and Ballbusting site, which possibly rates highly on the ‘creator of cliched femdom erotica’ scale (the well established COCFE scale). However, I liked it for her smile. I believe that’s Mistress January Seraph with the strap, and while she’s not quite laughing with sadistic glee, there’s definitely a pleasing blend of happiness and satisfaction in that smile. You can the original sized version here.

Waiting for a customer

There’s a niche porn genre that focuses on men being turned into feminized depersonalized sex toys. Bruce Baker tends to specialize in that kind of art, and I’ve featured other illustrations of it in the past, for example here and here. Normally the art in this area tends to be fairly explicit, with lots of whimpering sissys, cruel dommes and big macho bulls.

This image therefore makes for an interesting contrast to that norm. It struck me as being quite clever. The room is depicted as being very ordinary, and yet there’s the ominous locking bars across the door and a complete lack of furniture. The feminized toy isn’t reacting with horror to her new appearance, or being brutally buggered by a bull, s/he’s just drinking a coffee and reading the only printed material they’ve left for her. It seems kind of ludicrous to describe such an over-the-top idea as ‘realistic’, particularly given her sex doll mask and large jutting cock, but the artist has managed to impart a disturbing sense of normality to the scene. She’s just killing time, waiting to be summoned for her next customer.

It put me in mind of an old DX story called the ‘Perfect Bride’. It doesn’t look like there’s a live copy online these days, but using my mad porn tracking skills, I found a version using the way back machine.

I believe the artist is called Tink. I’ve several examples of his work, but I’ve failed to track down any details about him or a homepage for his renderings. Feel free to leave a comment if you have any information on him I can add.

Torture by jpg

I’ve never considered myself a switch. While in my daily interactions I’m a pretty forward and forceful guy, I’m 100% submissive masochist when it comes to my personal and sexual life. However, I think just for a few brief moments here I have the chance to play sadist and torture some of my submissive readers.

Take a long look at this image. Now, aren’t your eyes constantly drawn to that little drop of moisture? Don’t you feel an overpower urge to lick it off? Can’t you just imagine running your tongue along her ass and up to that delicate liquid bead?

I think this image is the still equivalent of those animated gifs where the submissive is teased on a never ending loop (for example this one). I can’t stare at it too long without feeling horny and tense.

I found it on the Someday Afternoon tumblr site. It’s originally from the FTV Girls site.

Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist

I recently watched Sick: The Life & Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist. It’s a documentary detailing Bob’s life as a writer, performance artist and sexual submissive masochist. What made him particularly extraordinary was that he suffered from cystic fibrosis, a disease that normally kills people before they reach their mid 20’s. He died age 43, making him one of the worlds longest lived suffers from it.

If you’ve never seen it I’d urge you to rush out and get a copy. I thought it was an extraordinarily moving film. I’m not ashamed to say I cried a little at the end. I also think it captures some aspects of masochism, submission and D/s better than any other film I’ve seen. Using a fairly standard documentary format, cutting interviews of friends and family into home movie footage, it paints a very frank and honest picture of his life with his partner and mistress Sheree Rose.

This is actually the second time I’ve seen the film. I first saw it over 10 years ago, before I’d gotten physically involved in BDSM, and I remember being fairly horrified at some of the SM activities they did. Now I look at the footage and think “Yes, done that. Loved that. Oh play piercing, that’s fun. Drinking piss, done that…..” I’ve never actually nailed my cock to a board as Bob does at one point in the film, but my sense of ‘normal’ has clearly shifted.

There’s some attempt in the film, particularly by his parents, to tie his early childhood experiences with his illness to his kinkiness. I understand that desire to look for a cause and effect, but it seems to be misplaced. The vast majority of kinky guys don’t have major childhood trauma and medical procedures. I think he was someone with cystic fibrosis who happened to be kinky. The one clearly influences the other, but it seems misplaced to think of it as a cause.

Two quotes really stuck with me. The first from Bob was near the start of the movie. The second is from Sheree and was towards the end when he was getting very sick.

People don’t think of the masochist as being a strong person. The stereotype that the masochist is sniveling and weak is actually not true. The masochist has to know his or her own body perfectly well and be in full control of their body, in order to give control to somebody else or to give control to pain. So the masochist is actually a very strong person.
Bob Flanagan

I don’t even think he’s a masochist anymore. I think life has beaten him down too much. The pain he lives with every day is so intense that there isn’t any other kind of pain that he can even think about right now.
Sheree Rose

I certainly agree with the first quote, and I think the second helps emphasize the same point. Being a masochist (or submissive) doesn’t mean being a needy person or someone who has no control over their life. You need control and a strong sense of self in order to successfully gift that to another. By the end he’d lost that, the disease was taking over and he could no longer give away power. His body and its sickness had already stolen it.

The movie is available on DVD from amazon. You can read Roger Ebert’s review of it here.

Update: Scott of Mrs Kelly’s Playhouse was actually friends with Bob in the early 90’s. He’s left a lengthy comment on this post describing some of his memories of Bob. My thanks to Scott for that additional information.

I couldn’t fuck a gorilla

This image made me smile, although not for any specific femdom related reason. I do like the odd vertical stocks/box that he’s trapped in. They look kind of fun. I also like the fact that she’s wearing a fairly normal item of lingerie, rather than an over the top leather number. But the main thing I liked was the horribly fake dungeon wall effect. It’s just so bad. What fantasy are they catering for here? It looks like dungeons by Disney.

What it really reminded me of was the mad doctor apartment in the Steve Martin movie ‘The man with two brains.’ I couldn’t find the specific illustrative clip I wanted on youtube, the one where Dr. Hfuhruhurr smashes through a whole sequence of fake dungeon doors, but I did find this clip which shows the fake dungeon/condo interior. In my clip hunt I also came across this, which could be an object lessons for any domme wanting to do a little tease and denial.

The image is originally from the men in pain site.

Hanging Around

These images first caught my eye for the interesting rope suspension. I always think that suspension shots are the most aesthetically pleasing form of bondage. I know when I mention bondage aesthetics a lot of people are going to think of ornate body ties, like the kind of rope corsets featured here and here. I think they’re fun, but more pretty than practical. In contrast suspension is both beautiful and a very intense and effective way to restrain somebody.

I’ve done it a few times and have been amazed out how tricky it is to get right. It wasn’t really until our third attempt that we got an effective position that I could stand for an extended period. It stretches the body in unusual ways and requires very careful consideration of how to spread the load between pressure points. The effort is definitely worth it however, as it really promotes a great submissive headspace. The body is exposed, vulnerable, available. Unlike normal bondage, where I can sometimes brace myself against the pain, suspension encourages acceptance. There’s nothing to push against, just ropes that move with you.

Although it was the rope work that initially caught my attention, it was the third image below that sold me on writing this particular post. Don’t they make an adorably cute pair? Of all the hot kinky and fetish shots I’ve posted over recent months, I think that photograph is probably my favorite. I always love a happy session and a smiling domme. There’s another shot showing her smile available here.

I believe this is Mistress Aska from the SM Play Live site.

Guilt. Loathing. Anger. Shame. Sickness.

I enjoy getting annoyed at an article or book occasionally. Gesticulating in the direction of the screen and muttering “What the fuck is this guy thinking?” can be cathartic. Fortunately for me, thanks to the Internet, there’s an inexhaustible supply of such articles close at hand.

The latest one to trigger my WTF reaction was one in GQ on hard core pornography and the authors reaction to it. The post title gives a little hint as to what that reaction might be. Or maybe this little snippet, when he’s talking about Max Hardcore.

I needed to know we were different. I needed to know I wasn’t him. I needed to know that whatever the hell was wrong with me was not as bad as whatever the hell was wrong with him.

A couple of thousand miles, I decided, wasn’t too far to go to find someone I hated more than myself.

….[ then immediately after talking to Max ]….

It had been over two hours. I didn’t hate him nearly enough. And it made me hate myself even more.

As far as cathartic emotions goes, this article was pretty successful. I managed to get annoyed, bemused, puzzled and incredulous all in the space of four pages.

I read a wide variety of kink and sex blogs, with all sorts of wild behavior in them. There are people getting whipped, trampled, cuckolded, spanked, diapered, caged, stabbed, burnt and pissed on. Yet somehow they all seem more emotionally healthy than this ‘normal’ guy. Guilt and self-loathing must be horrible emotions to have to live with.

For an accompanying image I tried to find something that I felt guilty about liking. It wasn’t easy. There’s all sorts of freaky stuff I like, but I don’t feel guilty about any of it. Finally I settled on this image. It’s completely ridiculous. There’s a cliched classroom setting, a pastiche of a school mistress outfit in latex and a woman posing as a student in latex underwear. But for some reason I think it’s kind of cute.

Image is from the Captive Culture site.

Lovely Lurker Love

I recently discovered that today is the sixth annual love our lurkers day. There’s an official logo and everything.

I’m not a huge fan of the expression ‘lurker’. It suggests someone with a slightly nefarious purpose. However, I do appreciate the sentiment behind the love our lurkers day. It’s a cheezy thing to say but without you wonderful people this blog wouldn’t exist. Everyday I get a few comments, often from other people with blogs of their own. But everyday I also get thousands of visitors coming by to take a look at whatever random rubbish happened to make it from my brain into a post. And I guess to check out some new hot femdom images. That also probably plays a small role in my stats count.

I write this blog for a whole host of different reasons, but the main one is to share stuff I like. I wouldn’t keep doing it without that. So here’s to all the readers and lurkers out there who come here to share it with me. Thanks for dropping by.

If you ever thought about leaving a comment, this would be a great time to do it! Maybe just a mention of where you’re from, or what you’re into, or even what you’d like to see more/less of here. I’d love to hear from you. The comment system asks for a name/email/website, but you only need the first two. Also the email isn’t published and doesn’t even have to be a genuine email address.

In the meantime here’s a lovely young lady sharing a little happiness with you all. And as a special extra, just to celebrate the lurkers, here’s a bonus image for the male submissives and a bonus image for the female dommes.

I found the above image on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr site. The special bonus linked images came from the art or porn site and from the Dishevelled Domina tumblr site. I’ll leave figuring out which came from where as an exercise to the reader.