Tell me where it hurts

Kink and fantasy medial scenes are a pretty natural pairing. Kink and actual medical professionals can be a bit more problematic. The Daily Beast has a good article on that topic entitled ‘Coming out kinky to your Doctor, in Black and Blue‘. It covers some of the risks and dilemmas involved in sharing exactly where that bruise or rope burn came from.

Personally if there was ever an issue I needed to discuss, or I was directly questioned about it, I’d be open with my doctor. After all if I’m willing to share my kinks with a professional dominatrix, why not a medical professional? I also assume that doctors see unusual stuff all the time, and whatever I’ve done is going to be old news to them. I once spent an instructive few hours browsing a forum for medical interns. They were sharing crazy stories from the emergency room, and it was pretty clear that whatever kinky shenanigans I got up to, it was never going to top what the average trainee doctor sees on a regular basis.

Of course I’m lucky. I have good healthcare, live in a liberal city and have a wide choice of doctors. If my choices were more limited I’d perhaps feel differently.

Nurse Eleise De Lacy

The image is of the wonderful Eleise De Lacy of Femme Fatale Films.

Missing her dog

This lovely young lady appears to have misplaced her dog. She’s got the travel crate for it, but no pooch. Judging by the size of the crate and the big chain on the door, it must be a fearsome beast. Hopefully they’ll be reunited before too long and he won’t be in too much trouble.

Missing her dog

There’s no watermark on this, but I’d guess it’s from the Rinryu site (warning contains some scat content).

Fall has arrived

The weather in Seattle seems to have finally turned. Warm summer days lingered into October, but the cold and the rain is now with us. The leaves are definitely falling, and it seems only appropriate to mark the occasion with an autumnal photograph. She has a lovely outfit, although his looks like it might be a little chilly.

Fall Leaves

If you’d like to see some more fetish focused fall shots, including a couple more from the above sequence, then I’d recommend this post from hmp.

Lacking all reason

My previous post featured what I thought was a good article on the positive side of mixing discussion, consent and sex. Today’s post brings you the flipside – a really stupid post on sex and consent. Other bloggers may aim to bring you only good things; I like to go with more of a harmonious yin and yang approach.

The article is (ironically) from Reason magazine and is entitled ‘California’s Sexual Consent Law Will Ruin Good Sex for Women‘. It was prompted by the recent ‘Yes means Yes‘ law passed in California, which aims to shift the emphasis in colleges from an assumption of consent to a need to actively gain consent. There’s an interesting discussion to be had about that law, but the Reason article by Shikha Dalmia certainly isn’t it. The bit that really irked me was this…

…there is usually a difference in tempo between men and women, with women generally requiring more “convincing.” And someone who requires convincing is not yet in a position to offer “affirmative” much less “enthusiastic” consent. That doesn’t mean that the final experience is unsatisfying — but it does mean that initially one has to be coaxed out of one’s comfort zone. Affirmative consent would criminalize that.
The reality is that much of sex is not consensual — but it is also not non-consensual. It resides in a gray area in between, where sexual experimentation and discovery happen.

I’m going to resist the temptation to draw conclusions about Shikha Dalmia’s sex life based on this. I can say it’s pretty piss poor logic with no apparent understanding of what consent means.

One of the great things that exploring kink has done for me is helped me to discuss and negotiate sexual activity. If you grow up watching sex in movies (both mainstream and porn) you get the impression that great sex just happens automatically. One minute the cynical private eye is trading witty barbs and smouldering looks with his femme fatale client, the next minute, just after she’s tried to slap him, they’re having amazing sex without so much as a yes, no or maybe. In reality experimentation, and the discussion that must go along with it, makes everything better. I’ve never yet had a mutual fantasy ruined by talking about it. I’ve had plenty of experiences where misunderstanding and a lack of communication definitely made things worse.

Gagged and Bound

Hopefully the gentleman in this image got all his discussion out of the way up front, as his current options look decidedly limited. The image is of course from Divine Bitches.

Enthusiastic consent

Gawker has published one of the better articles I’ve seen recently in the mainstream press on sex and kink. Entitled ‘Vanilla Sex: A Perfectly Fine Way to Fuck‘ its message was to avoid trying to categorize sex and instead concentrate on discussion. What matters is what you and your partner(s) want, not some arbitrary definition of normality. It finishes with fine advice applicable to almost any sexual situation…

And that, I think, is what’s missing from vanilla sex. Rather than trying to “spice up” your love life with imported sexual practices that don’t fit your tastes, why not borrow kink culture’s emphasis on dialogue and enthusiastic consent? The hottest move your sex life can steal from kink isn’t handcuffs, it’s discussion
From a Gawker article by Monica Heisey

It’s tricky to pick an image to represent the concept of enthusiastic consent, so here’s a couple who at least look happy and enthusiastic about what they’re doing. Plus, if you’re going to do breathplay like this, consent is pretty important.

Breathplay

This is from the Hom Smother site. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Art and reality

One of the things I enjoy about erotic artwork is its ability to portray the strange and fantastic. Artists like Sardax, Namio Harukawa and Augustine do a wonderful job of capturing the extremes of sexual fantasies in a way that still connects with people. Yet the thing I like most about the piece below is it’s realism. I don’t mean that in the visual sense – it’s clearly not a hyperrealistic drawing – but in the mood and style of play it captures. It feels like a moment from a scene I might do or have done. There’s no crazy bondage positions, massive strap-ons or extreme outfits. Just some rope, clothespins and a nice sense of intimacy and connection.

Artwork by TingosThe artist is Tingos and you can see more of his work on his tumblr. I found it via the Lunar Black tumblr.

Pulling him close

Here’s another happy man wrapped in some rope. Admittedly I can’t actually see his expression, so unlike yesterday’s shot, I can’t definitely say he’s happy. But I’m willing to wager that he’s feeling pretty good about his situation.

The image is oddly entitled ‘Brutal‘ (free deviant art login needed). Not quite sure about the title, but I do like the image. It’s by Pavel Ryzhenkov, known on Deviant Art as West-Kis, a photographer based in Belarus. I found it on the Femdom Delights tumblr.

Brutal by West-Kis

Big smile

Tonight somebody mummified me in plastic wrap, stuck needles in my nipples and electrocuted my cock. I couldn’t be happier. All is right in my particular bit of the world. I’m now sitting on my couch, sore in all sorts of unusual places and drinking a glass of wine.

We didn’t capture any photographs of the session, so instead I’ll finish with a photograph of a chap who looks almost as happy as I am.

Rope bondage and a smile

This is from Marshall Bradford Photography (main site here). I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr.

Long time, no kink

It has been a long time since I got my kinky freak on. My schedule and Lydia’s schedule have conspired to frustrate me for almost 2 months now. I also haven’t had chance to travel to play in any of the other hot spots on the West coast. As problems go it’s not exactly a life altering one, but it has left me edgy and more frayed than usual. I’m definitely overdue the endorphin rush and general sense of emotional well-being that an intense play session gives me.

Luckily I’m due to get together with Lydia tomorrow night, so all should be well. Until then I have to survive 2 days of 8 hour planning meetings at work. That’s a whole different kind of torture.

I doubt my play with Lydia tomorrow will look much like this image. It’ll probably have more pain and less teasing involved. But I am hoping to achieve the kind of deep emotional and mental space he looks to be in.

Artwork by Gracy Gimp

This is by the Belgium artist Benoit Feroumont, who posts his erotic work under the handle Gracy Gimp.