Letting Go

I typically don’t like to link to articles that are surfacing via my blogroll. It seems lazy on my part, since they’re already available to anyone who is interested. However, a new post by Ms. Renee Trevi, entitled ‘A Session With No Map‘ is too good not to feature. It describes the kind of intensity I strive for but only occasionally touch.

He is quietly breathing and I read in his eyes that he gave it up entirely. I feel him fully dissolved, like there is nothing left of him, completely disintegrated. There is a sense of deep surrender in his eyes, he is neither scared of pain nor desiring of pleasure. And that’s when we slow down.

There’s sometimes a moment for me, deep in a session, where everything inverts. The pain has been driving me inward, focusing me on my sensations, my emotions. Then I reach a point, not of giving up, but of letting go. The energy turns outwards and it becomes about Her. It’s a sense of acceptance. The pain is still there, but it’s just information, something that I can release to her. I might be experiencing it, but she owns it. We’re in a bubble and everything else is noise.

As I said, I don’t often get there, but when I do, it’s way better than anything as straightforward as an orgasm. I think Ms Renee Trevi’s post captures the intensity of that kind of moment beautifully, and I love how she tackled the open ended nature of the session she describes.

Ms Renee Trevi is a NYC based pro-domme. If you’re interested in experiencing her skills for yourself, her session page is here.

Stomp

Continuing on the theme of cock torture, here’s a nice vintage shot that’s old school in every sense of the word. You don’t need needles and fancy electrical devices. Just a high heel applied with sufficient force at the critical point.

While her shoes are clearly a necessary part of the scene, I’m not so sure about his. Did he take his trousers and pants off over his shoes? Or did he put his shoes back on after removing his trousers? That puzzle aside, it’s a fun image that comes courtesy of mrunderheel.

False Advertising

Bacchus, over at ErosBlog, has been quite rightly mocking a porn shoot that promises a cock being disciplined with the following lines…

I am going to be disciplining Rob Piper’s humongous black cock. You know where I’m gonna start? With that big black cock up my ass! I can’t wait to take that cock in all my holes.

I’m sure Mr Piper’s cock is just going to hate that. It’ll probably get all big, angry and throbbing after being disciplined in such a terrible way.

Of course, while this is a particularly egregious example, a lot of BDSM play exhibits a touch of this. It’s briar patch syndrome – Oh please don’t dress up in that sexy outfit and gently whip me (not too hard!) with that soft leather flogger. It’d be terribly cruel if you were to use that strap-on and – down a bit, no not there, careful, oh yes, oh yes! – brutally penetrate my helpless body with it.

In reality, a close-up of a disciplined cock isn’t all that sexy. For example, Mistress Tess tortured mine a few weeks back. Needles and electricity were involved. We shot a picture, but only look here if you’re OK with genital piercing pictures. I had a lot of fun, but I’ll be the first to admit it’s not the kind of close-up image that’ll sell a lot of porn subscriptions. The shot below is a bit more visually appealing while at least having a slightly more believable cock discipline theme. I bet it’s loving it really though.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

Pooh’s Hole

I stumbled across a post today that made me laugh and feel bad all at the same time. Obviously, in those circumstances, the only logical thing to do is share it with thousands of people – so here you go.

The bad part comes from linking anal sex to beloved childhood classic. As a child I never watched the Disney version of Winnie-the-Pooh, but I loved and read repeatedly the original books that featured illustrations by E. H. Shephard. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to remember this particular chapter in quite the same way again.

On the funny side, I think it does capture some of the varying emotions of anal sex. I’ve had a few dicks in my time, and a lot of more strap-ons, and it can definitely be a roller-coaster of sensations. There are moments of “OMG! This is awesome!” The occasional “Ouch! Jeez. Not like that.” And of course the dreaded “Uh-oh..what just happened down there? I hope that’s lube…”

I’ll leave you with what seems like an appropriate image in the context of the original link. Although I guess this is more appropriate for a Piglet than a Pooh.

There’s no watermark, but I believe this is Mistress Silver, a UK based pro-domme. She has a professional site here and a twitter feed here.

A Modern Triptych

Anyone who has spent anytime looking at Femdom Artwork will have come across the brilliant Sardax. His drawings and paintings are always exceptional, but I think he really excelled himself with the piece shown below and described in this post.

Commissioned by Lady M as a gift for her submissive, it’s based on a medieval triptych. Housed in a transportable box, it folds out to show the Lady M in the central panel and two alternative personae of her submissive in the smaller flanking panels. As Sardax describes in his post, it can function as a portable personal shrine for the submissive to carry with him.

I think it’s a lovely modern twist on an old concept, and a clever way to make a personalized piece of artwork even more individual and meaningful. It’s also nice to a see a commission from a domme for a submissive rather than the other way around.

If you’d like your own personal work from Sardax, this his commission page is here, although it looks like he’s pretty booked up for the rest of 2018.

Ways to Help

Last week I wrote a short post on International Sex Workers Day, with a few suggestions on how non-workers can offer support. For anyone looking for more detailed suggestions, then Bustle has put together a good article.

One thing it highlights, and something that I’ve heard directly from workers themselves, is the importance of people speaking up in non sex work settings to reduce stigma and challenge prejudice.  Laws only change when politicians think there’s enough public support for a change. Or, more cynically, when they think they can get away with a change that nobody will notice . So creating the right kind of attention across a broad swathe of the public is a key step.

Convincing readers of blogs like this or people browsing kinky forums like fetlife is the easy part. But what happen when the topic comes up in the context of friends or family? That’s a more challenging conversation. Anyone bought into the idea that all sex workers are abused women lacking autonomy will tend to look askew at anyone – particularly a man – speaking up against those myths. It’s tough to convince someone when the very act of speaking up immediately causes them to classify you as an abuser of women.

I’m not sure there’s a great solution to that problem, other than just being brave and sticking to your guns. I’m out to some of my friends, which makes it easier to talk about. I don’t get into kinky details, but it does let me describe the smart, independent and creative pro-dommes I encounter, as well as the problems of laws like SESTA/FOSTA.  There’s also enough coverage of the topic in mainstream publications that it’s possible to share and direct people towards articles without necessarily getting into a deeply personal discussion. And at the very least, don’t let slurs and casual bigotry against sex workers go unchallenged.

This lady looks like someone who doesn’t need any help in getting her point across. She looks very familiar, but I can’t place the face to a name. Feel free to leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful comment I now believe this is Lady Sophia Black, a UK based pro-domme. Main site here and twitter here.

Succeeding through Kink

Does actively engaging in kink make your more successful and creative in life? That’s the premise of this Harper’s Bazaar article. It’s a nice thought, and it’d be great if it were true, but I’m not sure the article entirely sells me on the idea. It reads a little too much like those lifestyle articles based on selective chosen scientific surveys. They’re not necessarily wrong, but they often treat scientific possibilities as probabilities or even certainties.

From a personal perspective, I’d say my data points are mixed. On the one hand kink does make me feel happier, more relaxed and more confident. That potentially could translate into a more productive and constructive paltego in daily life. On the other hand, kink can be a refuge for avoiding facing tough issues. Like a drug it gives me a high and an escape, which isn’t necessarily always in my best interest. It’s tough to judge what the overall large effect is, although I will anecdotally observe that the greatest period of success in my career correlated with when I was most regularly active in kink.

I’ll finish with an image of success. Hers for a productive days shopping and his for not dropping all the boxes (yet).

This image is by Ellen von Unwerth, shot for Vogue Italy and featuring Bianca Balti.

Trust the Pros

I’ve always maintained that there’s no shame in putting yourself in the hands of trained medical professionals if a scene has gone badly wrong. Any nurse or doctor with a few years experience will have seen all manner of crazy things, and yours will just be another nights work for them.

In light of this article, I guess I should also add firefighters to the list of trusted professionals. At least in Germany that is, as they receive training in how to remove cock rings and butt plugs that have become rather too tightly attached. Amazingly you can cut off a cock ring using an angle grinder, as long as the cock in question has been treated with bandages and heat resistant paste. That’d certainly count as edge play, particularly given it’s a no safeword scene.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image. Hopefully all these toys were safely removed without a call to the emergency services.

Splashproof

There’s a lot to dislike about this image. It’s got the classic 70’s domme stare, the limp whip holding and the collar that’d be better suited to a submissive. Not to mention the weird crossed swords behind her. Who ever though that fake medieval weapons were a good look for a room?

On the plus side, her boots, gloves and natural beauty do make it work. However, what really sold me on it was the fetishistic apron-like dress. There’s something both disturbing and sexy about that. What’s going to spurt, splash or squirt that she needs protection from? And not just a small amount of protection. That’s a waist to heel cover. She’s ready for things to get seriously messy.