You Do You

Mistress Evilyne has put up an excellent and very personal post on Whorearchy, the shaming of female desire and what sexual acts are appropriate for a dominant. Hint: It’s whatever they damn well decide. As she concludes the post with…

As long as you are not hurting anybody either physically or mentally, then go ahead and do what you want to do! Be you and rock it! And don’t let anyone shame you or tell you that they are better than you.

It’s a topic I’ve touched on before. The last time, in a post entitled Demarcation, I linked to writing from Domina Victoria Rage and Mistress T that made similar arguments. As I said then, I think the legal issues of sex work to tend to distort not only the topic, but even our ability to discuss it openly. For example, I wouldn’t discuss a pegging session here unless the pro-domme in question was publicly open about offering it on her site. Just penetration alone can be problematic legally, let alone if you throw an orgasm or two into the mix.

Theoretically this is only a problem in the professional realm, but in reality I think it tends to spill across all of femdom. Lacking other strong cultural models, people take cues from porn and pros. So we end up in this fucked up situation where patriarchal laws distort professional femdom, and patriarchal norms suppress other representations of femdom, and ultimately the distorted former being an outsized influence on the latter.

This is Mistress Evilyne enjoying some public humiliation play. She’s a London based pro-domme.

Dealing with Drop

Gay Star News has published a pretty basic but good article on post play drop here. Worth reading if you’ve experienced it and are trying to understand more about what happened. I found it interesting to see all the potential causes that they list – endorphins, adrenaline, internalized shame, loss of sense of self, lactic acid, feelings of guilt, etc. In the same ways that BDSM highs are complex and multi-dimensional phenomena, the lows are clearly equally faceted.

The image is one used in the article and taken by istolethetv. Specially this is from the Folsom Street Fair in 2015.

Winter Sports

I think most non-kinky people would consider water sports to be fairly ‘out there’ as far as sex acts go. Yet I’m looking at this winter sport, and thinking its making a little splash of hot urine look pretty good in comparison. Definitely more relaxing and comfortable than a faceful of icy snow.

I found this via a tweet. Despite digging around online, I’ve not managed to find a source or story behind it.

Baptismal Breathplay

There’s a lot going on in this image. Rope bondage, suspension and breathplay just for starters. If there’s such a thing as a kink for being baptized, then one could add that to.  It just needs a confused hiker in an anorak to wander in from frame left and you’d have public humiliation as well.

Regardless of the kinks on display, it’s a beautiful image. I imagine that setting the shot up would be a huge challenge. I just hope for the models sake that it was warmer than it looks.

This is from BDSLR photography and you can see the full sized version in their original post here. The models are Tifereth and Diaemone.

Drinks at the Pool

We might be heading into the last few weeks of summer but, when the sun isn’t doing a disappearing act, it’s still pretty hot in most parts of the US. Perfect weather for consuming cool drinks outside. The best I can manage is a glass of wine on a restaurant patio. This lady has a much better set-up. I only hope she doesn’t drift off into the deep end. Treading water and keeping her drink above it might present a problem.

I found this on the Garden of Eden tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for it. I do recognize the gag being used as Scott Paul Design one.

Update: Thanks to a very helpful comment, I can now attribute this to the lovely Mistress Ezada Sinn. You can see another shot from the same scene in her post here.

The path to subspace

I got a very interesting question from profoundlife in response to my brain versus no brain post from last week. The post was about two different categories of play, one where the submissive could simply relax and go along for the ride (no brain) and the other where submissive was kept off balance and was regularly forced to interact and respond to the dominant (brain). The question posed was a simple one, but I don’t really know the answer.

Do you think sub space only happens really happens with no brain play?

That’s certainly true for me, but I’m not sure I can say it’s generally true for everyone. If I’m in subspace it’s almost impossible for me to interact intelligently and verbally with the dominant, or maintain any kind of complicated physical position. Being pulled into the present moment involves getting my higher level brain functions firing, and my internal mental dialog running, and that’s pretty much the end of subspace. But is that true for everyone?

Do people into verbal humiliation, public scenes or performing complex tasks for the dominant, get into subspace? Or a variation of subspace? I can imagine that being micromanaged by a domme and having to perform a lot of repetitive tasks in a very focused way might result in subspace, but that also seems like a way to turn a ‘brain’ type task into a ‘no brain’ one. The point of something like predicament bondage is to stop the submissive zoning out, but maybe some people can be so focused it turns into a type of subspace? Anyone out there have any thoughts or personal experiences?

Not sure of the original source here, but this looks like a scene from the Folsom Fair. I found it in this Femdom Destiny post. It’d think it’d be tough to get into subspace when you’re naked, leashed and on the streets of San Francisco.

Order of Indomitus

While I might not be into organized matriarchal societies crossed with femdom kinky fun (as discussed in yesterday’s post), I do recognize it as a button pushing fantasy for some. Probably the most well known example of it was the Other World Kingdom, more commonly known as OWK. Although it eventually closed down in 2008, it did run successfully for over a decade, attracting a wide variety of dommes and slaves over that period. This old post of mine has some interesting links on it for those curious about the background story. Mistress Troy of NYC has also posted some thoughts and articles on it.

Sadly for OWK fans there has never been an obvious successor with the same kind of scope and vision. However, some femdom organizations have tried to capture the spirit of OWK, with one of the most recent being The Order of Indomitus. Based on their FAQ and this article it seems like they’ve captured the outdoor play, multi-mistress and immersive femdom fantasy environment that OWK targeted.

Every woman brings something different to the event. 100% of your time is being spent in a non-stop femdom environment with a small undertone of fear, a bit of laughs, a certain amount of comfort, a certain amount of unknown, and depending on what turns you on, a dash to an over-dose of eroticism.

It’s not really my thing, but for anyone out there who really regrets never visiting OWK, it might well be worth checking out.

These images are from the Order of Indomitus web site.

Divine space

According to this article, the Chinese city of Shenyang has created special parking spots just for women. That’s not an entirely new idea. Some cities have dedicated spots for women with young children, or marked spots in well lit and camera covered areas for increased safety. Sadly the Shenyang spots aren’t for those practical reasons. These spots are simply longer and wider (and pinker) to make it easier for women to park in them. Apparently they (allegedly) need help with their parking.

At first glance this seems incredibly sexist and patronizing. But what caught my eye was the labeling of them – Goddess Parking spots. So maybe there’s another explanation. Maybe the city transport division is staffed by femdom fans. They’re not being sexist, they’re just showing respect. If the next rule is that male parking violators have to be whipped by female traffic police, or that the city transport division staff have to clean the parked Goddesses cars in the nude, then we’ll know it’s a femdom fan thing. If not, then I guess we’re back to ‘sexist and patronizing’ as the explanation.

Femdom Car CleaningSadly the Young Dommes site this image is from has ceased to exist.

Dominatrix Drive

Most countries are actively anti sex work. If it’s not actually illegal then, at the very least, it’s denigrated and hidden away. Politicians typically work to make life harder for sex workers – when they’re not secretly visiting them of course.

I was therefore happy to see the German city of Hamburg taking quite an unusual step. They’re going recognize a famous local sex worker by naming a road after her. Domenica Niehoff initially started as a prostitute and then opened a studio as a dominatrix. At the same time she campaigned for legalization of sex work, as well as founding an organization to help young workers and drug addicts (from her wikipedia page). I’m not going to hold my breath for the US to do something similar, but it’s nice to see some parts of the world getting it right.

Public HumiliationJudging by the background this was shot in England. Maybe Cynthia Payne Plaza? I believe this is from the CFNM TV site.