Uniform – Page 6 – Femdom Resource

Do to yourself as you’d have others do to you

I was recently entertained by the story of a Catholic priest who locked himself in handcuffs and had to call 911 to escape them. The linked article even has the audio of the call, complete with the dispatcher asking where he was (the rectory) and did he work there (he admitted he did). The thing I found surprising wasn’t the restraint loving priest, but the slightly incredulous tone of the dispatcher. In a previous life I spent some months working with operators answering emergency calls and, like ER doctors, nothing seemed to really faze them. They’d heard it all before.

Part of me feels a little sorry for the good Father. I’m sure a lot of kinky people experimented with self-bondage when they were young. I know I did, and it was more good luck than judgement that saved me from any similarly embarrassing public situations. On the other hand the priest in question works for Bishop Thomas Paprocki. His various claims to fame include blaming the lawsuits resulting from the Catholic child abuse scandal on the devil, attacking gay marriage as discrimination against Christians and preaching that voting Democrat will send you to hell. Anyone keeping company with a fine ‘Christian’ like that doesn’t get a lot of sympathy from me.

Next time the kinky clergyman feels the urge to restrain himself from sin, he should find himself a Nun to help out. She can take care of the handcuff keys and also any flagellation that might be necessary for such a naughty priest. Perhaps the young lady below would be willing to ensure he repents properly?

You might be surprised to learn that this very authentically costumed ‘nun’ has not actually taken her holy vows. It’s the model Miranda Kerr, as photographed by Greg Kadel for Numéro magazine. I originally stumbled across it on the Kinky Games tumblr.

Committing Interesting Adultery

The US press has been full of the David Petraeus scandal recently (catch up on a summary here). I’m not aware of any specific femdom angle, but I did think it a great example of how incredibly stupid sex and sexual attraction can make people.

Here’s a guy who is clearly highly intelligent. He’s very well known, and in a high profile job. Any public scandal will be world news and taint his name and career forever. His position in the army and intelligence community make any kind of secret affair a sackable offense. It’s not like being an American CEO or European politician where you can get away with these kind of things. On top of all that, he’s in a job where he’s highly likely to get investigated and his communication scrutinized. Even if they’re not looking for an affair it might be exposed as part of another investigation that accidentally uncovers it. Yet, despite all that, he still goes ahead and fools around with his attractive biographer. What a very intelligent idiot.

I’d like to think there’s a lesson here. A morale that we can perhaps take to heart. But I suspect it’s the fact that horny people do stupid things. This is unlikely to be news to anyone. Or to influence anyone’s future behavior. Given that his paramour ended up blowing the whole thing by sending some crazy emails to a perceived rival, maybe the lesson should be a phrase that I picked up from Mistress Matisse: Don’t stick your dick in crazy.

I’m not sure where this uniformed lady is planning to stick her dick, but she looks a little pensive about it. Let’s hope crazy won’t feature on the other end of it.

Fun with bandages

I experienced being heavily bandaged tonight. Fortunately this didn’t involve a trip to the ER, but did involve Lydia and a lot of Co-Flex bandages. This type of bandage is typically used for wrapping horse’s tails and legs. It’s latex based, quite strong but also stretchy. It sticks to itself but not skin, so it’s ideal for wrapping somebody up. With 10 minutes work you can efficiently mummify an entire body, and yet it’s super quick and easy to cut free when you’re done. And since it comes in a whole variety of colors, it can look pretty cool as well. Definitely recommended if you’re into tight bondage but don’t want to spend a fortune on gear or valuable playtime fiddling with knots. I can confirm it’ll hold all limbs tightly in place even when the top wraps clingfilm around your face and then attaches alligator clips to your delicate parts.

I don’t have any images of the session, so I’ll leave you instead with this shot featuring a different style of bandages. It’s an interesting blend of medical play and more traditional fetish gear. I find it quite a strange but also atmospheric shot, with a suggestion of both erotica and horror.

I found this on the Gorean Kajirus tumblr.

Just a small prick…

Finally, to finish off this run of medically themed posts, a drawing from the great Namio Harukawa. A lot of his work is very explicit in its themes, but I like this one for it’s slightly more restrained approach. It could almost be a normal nurse/patient scene. Almost. He’s looking just a little too entranced with the curvy vision in front of him, and she’s not exactly maintaining her distance. Sure enough, in later shots, it gets a little more explicit.

Reality 1 Fantasy 0

I’m back in Seattle after a vacation packed with a little more incident than I was hoping for. My mother is in town from England for a few weeks and I thought I’d show her the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately she got a little too up close and personal with some of the beauty, after slipping and falling on the beach. Two days, two hospitals and many hours later, she was sporting a cast and couple of metal pins to hold a broken wrist bone in place. Not a great souvenir to bring back from vacation.

I have to say that if you ever want to cure somebody of a medical or nurse fetish, just make them spend time in some real medical establishments. I wasn’t the one being treated, but I did get to kill a lot of time just hanging around different bits of the hospitals. They’re horrible places. Beige and grey throughout, with drab utilitarian furniture, scuffed surfaces and condescending public service posters plastered everywhere. The only gleaming white and visually interesting places – like the ICU or operating theater – are the spots you’ll only experience in really bad situations when sexy fun time is definitely not in your thoughts.

The nurses varied from brusque and surly through to efficient and helpful. But none had me rushing out to fake up a minor injury to get treated. I saw more eye catching women in 10 minutes in downtown Vancouver than I did in 10 hours at nurse central. My favorite was the highly officious one who insisted on getting my agreement on the $600 initial fee before starting treatment. This while mom was moaning in pain and going into shock. I’m not sure what poor foreigners are supposed to do if they injure themselves in Canada. Just moan quietly and try not to bleed too much before they can get home?

Anyway, just because reality sucks, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the fantasy. Here’s an image from Peter Coulson featuring a nurse and patient depicted as many of us would wish them to be.

Institutional torture

I’m a little ambivalent about the image below. It’s got a militaristic torture vibe to it, which I have to admit I find kind of hot. There’s what looks like an electrical torture device on wheels, and a mostly naked lady in an incredibly impractical but very sexy boots/hat/gloves military torturer get-up. I passionately hate the idea of any kind of officially sanctioned torture, but this image is sufficiently fantastical in nature that it works for me on a purely abstract and sexual level.

However, the blog post I found for this image describes this as a postcard for March 8th, which it lists as a “Traditional day of torture for the male population…” (via google translation). March 8th happens to be International Women’s Day, a day described in wikipedia as “a celebration for women’s economic, political and social achievements.” So now I’m left wondering what the artist was originally getting at. Is it purely a sexual image for people attracted to female sadists? Or is he trying to make some misogynistic point about women generally torturing men? It can’t be a coincidence that he picked March 8th, and that context makes the image a difficult one for me to enjoy. But purely visually, it does push buttons buried deep in my sub-cortex.

Augustine returns!

Augustine’s artwork featured in my very first post to this site, and he was the first artist I added to the Femdom Artwork page. He closed the original site for his work some time ago, so I was very happy to hear (via a comment he left) that he’d started a new tumblr featuring both his old work and any new pieces. There are only a handful of drawings there currently, but I’m looking forward to seeing it grow in the future.

Nurse Ratched Revisited

Medical role play is pretty common in BDSM and particularly in femdom. It’s a natural fit with the dominant female authority figure and all those invasive and potentially painful medical treatments. Everything from needles and catheters through to straightjackets and dental gags have been appropriated into the kinky domain.

Most femdom medical imagery is pretty fetishistic, with lots of shapely nurses brandishing random medical equipment and staring into the camera. For example, this kind of shot. Pretty but not all that scary. For really disturbing kinky medical themed images it turns out the fashion industry is the place to look. Specifically this shoot for Interview Magazine by photographer Steven Klein featuring Karolina Kurková and Crystal Renn.

Apparently it draws heavily on the institutional white trend of Spring 2012 and features such designers as Jennifer Fein, Stella McCartney and Dolce & Gabbana. It’s certainly one of the most fetishistic and BDSM heavy fashion shoots I’ve ever seen. I’m guessing they must have hired a professional bondage rigger for the ropework shot. I think if a photographer for somewhere like Kink.com had come back with these images they’d have sent him away with the instructions to come up with something a little less fucked up next time.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright

Today’s post brings you a two year old story that isn’t femdom related. However, it was just so ludicrous that I couldn’t resist featuring it.

The story features a man accused of possessing tiger bestiality porn. As a kink enthusiast I like some danger mixed in with my sex, but getting a tiger involved seems a touch extreme. I’m not sure they fully understand the concept of safe words. The police arrested him and took him to court, whereupon, as this newspaper articles describes…

The prosecution offered no evidence when it was accepted that the tiger in the clip was not real, and that it was all a joke.
It emerged in court that police and prosecutors had not previously listened to the film with the sound on.
Following the act, the tiger turned to the camera and roared: “That beats the Frosties advert!”.

It’s a story that raises some interesting questions. For a start, just how realistic was this tiger costume? Are some of the Pixar animators now getting involved in making bestiality videos on the side? I’ve never seen a pantomime animal outfit that’d be mistaken for the real thing even for a second. Either we’ve stumbled across the world’s greatest animal impersonator or the police were morons. Also, where did they think the tiger was from? Did they start phoning around local zoos? That must have been an interesting conversation – “Excuse me sir, but have you noticed anyone fucking your tiger recently?” And exactly who did the police think they were protecting in this case? I know bestiality raises the issues of consent and cruelty, but a tiger? I understand that no means no, but I also think that getting ripped limb from limb by a 600lb killing machine probably means no as well.

More seriously, it illustrates a point about dealing with the police in these situations. This was a guy who got sent a joke video-clip and ended up in court because the investigating officer couldn’t even be bother to turn his speakers up. Imagine the incredible stress and hassle involved, not to mention the embarrassment factor, only to have the police and prosecution go “Ooops, our bad. Have a nice day.” The police aren’t paid to be fair or to try and do the right thing. Their job is to get enough evidence to arrest someone, possibly you, for whatever they think they can get a conviction for.

I’m both amused and simultaneously depressed when I see sex workers using elaborate codes and euphemisms to try and avoid legal entanglement. Payment is always a tribute or a donation. Sometimes it’s in roses, and they’re given just for time spent, never sexual services. Don’t offer the money, just leave it visibly on the side. Some pro-dommes will even not tell you to get undressed, instead the coded request is just to ‘get ready’. I understand the thinking, but the cynic in me suspects it’s all wasted effort. If a cop has decided to go after a discrete and professional sex worker who isn’t bothering her neighbors, then he’s probably not going to let little details like what was actually said get in the way. It’ll be her word against his, and I’m sure the jury will hear whatever magic phrases are necessary to secure the conviction.

If you’ve never seen the talk by Professor James Duane entitled “Don’t talk to the police” then I highly recommend watching it. Hopefully none of my readers will ever find themselves needing it. Sadly, as the original story shows, you never know when the police might intersect with your life in unfortunate ways. I just hope that Michael Palin and Eric Idle don’t find themselves under investigation for theft of a leg.

Finding tiger related femdom images for this post proved difficult. I’m therefore going to go with the law enforcement theme. Here’s Cole Conners from Men In Pain extracting a confession from Plew. Let’s hope he keeps Professor Duane’s advice in mind while she’s caning his genitals.

Tease and denial with chocolate chips

This is a bit of a silly photograph sequence, but it made me smile. It features Ember of the Suicide Girls conducting a tease and denial session with Sesame Street’s cookie monster.

Of course the Sesame Street characters are always ripe for parody. There’s the Avenue Q take-off and porn song, which in the weird cyclical nature of the Internet has been reworked back to the original Muppet characters. I also always enjoyed Dave Chappelle’s riff on it.