Preferring the Journey to the Destination

Slate has an advice column featuring a man who loves flirting, teasing, sexual tension and foreplay, but doesn’t enjoy the sex at the end of it all. The advice they give is reasonable, but seems to miss out on the obvious kinks that might align with his preferences. Tease and denial is definitely a thing, which coupled with some light flirty femdom, might be right up his alley. Lots of kinky activities puts the focus on the foreplay and less on the big-O.

One thing I’ve noticed as I’ve aged is that my preference has shifted from the goal of the destination to the joy of the journey. I wouldn’t go as far as the letter writer and say the ending isn’t worth it, but the principal pleasure is in extending the buildup and playing with the dynamics of arousal. There’s so much more than can be done and enjoyed in that headspace.

I believe this is Kanishka Sangabo Dias and Rahansa Sanuthi, two models from Sri Lanka.

Fetish or Fashion Concluded

The fifth and final entry in our series was undoubtedly the trickiest. Possibly even verging on being a bit unfair. Although, as everyone did so well at guessing the answers for the previous posts, I don’t feel too bad about that.

The artist responsible for the artwork is the finest femdom artist of our age – Sardax. However, the answer to the question is not fetish, but fashion. They were drawings created for the woman’s fashion brand Afira. I actually featured the artwork in a post entitled ‘Fashion, Sardax style‘ back in 2012. I figured at at 10+ years it’d be unlikely anyone would remember the original post. You can see the full series on the Afira site.

Thanks to everyone who commented and left guesses on all the recent posts: Wolf, Prefectdt, Simon, Tom Allen, Downlow, Alex, Servitor, tiedinbluetights, d, C and 11Dutch. It was fun to see all your replies. I think Simon and Downlow probably had the most correct guesses, but when it comes to looking at fun kinky images, it’s really the taking part that counts.

I’ll finish with an image that I almost used in the series. This is Lady Mephista looking very fashionable.

Fetish or Fashion Revisited #4

Welcome to the 4th post in what I’ve decided will be a series of 5 (for now). We’re once again playing the game of Fetish or Fashion.

Congratulations everyone who guessed that the previous post was from a Fetish source. That image is from Natalie Noir’s Twitter feed. She’s a Zurich based pro-domme whose beautiful images have graced this site in the past. I thought the featured shot had a moody, ambiguous vibe that might be mistaken for fashion. However, as some commenters pointed out, the extensive collection of corporal instruments by the fireplace was a bit of a giveaway.

Here’s the penultimate shot in our series. What’s everyone’s guess here?

Fetish or Fashion Revisited #3

For those of you playing along at home, yesterday’s post was – Fetish! Well done those who got it. Specifically, that’s a shot of Mistress Vivienne Veinne, sourced from her website. She’s a London based pro-domme.

I thought this was a trickier image to identify, but commenters did spot the hood on the gentleman as a bit of a giveaway. Also the wall socket in the background probably would have been blocked out in a fashion shot.

Here’s today’s question: Is this from a fashion source or a fetish one?

Fetish or Fashion Revisited #2

Congratulations everyone who guessed that the previous post was from a fashion source. Specifically, it was from this fashion editorial in Paper magazine.

Commenters Wolf and Simon correctly identified the slightly bored looking chap as a giveaway. Attractive models starting vacantly into the distance are a common element of fashion shots for some reason. Prefectdt also pointed out the setting was pretty fancy for a fetish shot. That’s very true, although I have occasionally seen European dommes shoot in fancy hotel rooms.

Here’s your next image to guess. Fashion or Fetish?

Fetish or Fashion Revisited

Back in 2023 I did a short series entitled ‘Fetish or Fashion.’ The idea was to feature images from those two sources and allow readers to guess which was which. I had several positive comments on the idea, so I figured it might be time to revisit it with a series of new posts.

Here’s the first image in this new series. Is this from a fashion media source? Or a kinky one? I’ll post the answer along with the next image tomorrow.

Zentai and Metal

This photograph comes courtesy of Elise Graves over at Bondage Liberation. It’s a very hot combination of metal bondage and a zentai body suit. There’s some leather mittens and a head harness as well, just for extra kinky fun. The pose and the suit is suggestive of an insect – all limbs and thorax.

Zentai is one of those things that’s not really a kink of mine, but I would like to play with it at some future point. Based on my past experience, it’s a lot easier to handle then full face hoods, but still gives a sense of objectification and depersonalization. Not to mention the funky aesthetics of the look.

You can see the original size version of this, plus 3 other photographs from the same scene, over at Elise’s Bluesky post.

Happy New Year!

Wishing all my reader an amazing and kinky 2025. If you’re the kind of person to make resolutions for the New Year, then I hope they prove productive and achievable.

Personally, I’m hoping to travel and play more this year. I made that pledge last year and was partially successful. I did get down to LA and SF, and I did get to play once again with the fabulous Domina Yuki. However, I didn’t get back to Chicago or NYC and, if I’m honest, I still didn’t session as much as I’d aimed to. So, still more work to do there.

It’d be fun to pick a new activity to try, but I think that depends so much on who I play with. Certain scenes lend themselves to certain dommes. Maybe I can just aim to try at least one new thing and figure out what that should be when I figure out a session schedule. Puppy play maybe? That’d be a new one.

I’m afraid I’ve been unable to track down the source for this.

The Pain Lab

The post title sounds like the playspace of a particularly high tech and sadistic Domme. That sounds even more believable when I tell you that the lab in question features a fantasy VR world that can inflict pain via electric shocks. Sadly, as this Guardian article describes, it’s not staffed by leather clad sadists but by scientific researchers in Oxford. The professor in charge there has the following to say about pain.

It’s also fundamental to the notion of who we are. Nothing else ties you to your own body, to the present moment. I’d argue that pain is the requirement that precipitated the evolution of movement. Even an amoeba knows the most important thing is not to get squashed.” Like amoebae, humans spend pretty much every waking moment trying not to get squashed or hurt either.

I think that means that the masochists among us are evolving faster than everyone else. It’s not a weird kinky sex thing – it’s a project of self-improvement. I look forward to growing some handy extra appendages next time I get some needles shoved through a delicate body part.

Here’s a medical professional looking like she’s well equipped to push the scientific boundaries of pain research. With your help of course.

I believe this is Vivian Rose in a fetish shoot for Gagged Fantasy.

Encouragement

I was amused to read in this comment that ‘forced bi’ is being replaced by ‘encouraged bi’ on clips sites. Apparently  forcing is another one of those things the payment processors frown upon.

As silly changes go, it’s not the worst one they could have done. After all, there are lots of ways to encourage someone. I’ve always found a whip provides an excellent means of encouragement. Particularly if it’s used in conjunction with bondage, just to ensure the submissive sticks around for the maximum amount of encouragement possible. Just be careful the submissive doesn’t feel so encouraged he has to pass out.

Of course, some dommes don’t have to resort to such crude means. With the right kind of positive attitude, a kind word might be all that’s needed.

Captioned image courtesy of the ever imaginative Servitor over at Contemplating the Divine.