Photograph – Page 182 – Femdom Resource

The little things

It’s often small details that make a photograph come to life for me. Some little thing that I can connect with and use to spin my own private fantasy. I suspect in a lot of cases they’re accidental touches that the photographer never planned or was even aware of.

In the case of this image it’s not her attractive figure or the brandished crop that caught my eye, it’s his upturned feet on the bed. I can just picture him in a classic ‘chilling in hotel room’ pose. He’s flipping channels, scratching his stomach and debating raiding the mini-bar when this vision of kinky loveliness appears at the door. The scene from there pretty much writes itself. There’s a cliched jaw drop, a comically inappropriate family show on the tv, a slow deliberate saunter into the room, a howl as the crop smacks his feet and a scramble to get off the bed and into position.

I’ve completely failed to track down an original source for this image. I found it on the Kinky Games tumblr.

After the fact

Here’s a nice brace of shots to pair with yesterday’s post. That showed the build up to a cuckold scene. This shows what I assume is the aftermath to one. I guess it could be his own cum she’s about to feed him, but I suspect not.

Incidentally, these plug style gags seem to be very popular in Japanese BDSM porn, but rare in the Western equivalent. I’m not really sure why that is, as they look pretty sexy. All the benefits of a ring style gag, without the risk of it rotating in the mouth. Plus, the insertable plug adds a nice touch of objectification.

I found these images on the Felm Cyber tumblr. I’m afraid I have no idea where they originally came from.

The complexity of cuckolding

I’ve never been involved in cuckolding. I’m not sure I ever will be. But I do find it a fascinating topic.

I think part of that fascination is to do with the different ways it can manifest itself. Just looking at my blogroll demonstrates that. I apologize in advance if I mischaracterize anyone here, but I think it’s very clear there are quite distinct approaches described. Vanessa seems to have one of the more traditional approaches. She goes out and fucks guys, and enjoys rubbing it in her husbands face (quite literally). Scott and Em also play with the humiliation angle, but the action often involves Scott as well, even if that just means he’s present in the room. It’s more of a pair plus one, rather than two distinct pairs featuring a single female. Then there’s Suzanne, whose relationship seems to be more of a trio, with her sissy husband playing a very intimate role in her sexual couplings. And of course there are those bloggers like Axe who personally dislike the general idea of cuckolding.

As someone who doesn’t kink on emotional masochism or humiliation I tend to side with Axe’s point of view. I certainly get the activity at an intellectual level, but it doesn’t typically push my buttons sexually. However, it’s such a complex dynamic that I find it hard to say for sure. For example, I can imagine a tease and denial type cuckold play that could be very hot. That wouldn’t be a type of rejection or humilation, but simply temporary denial and sadism via sexual frustration. After all, a lot of submissives kink on chastity, orgasm control and very obvious female pleasure. Of course for that style of play, you have to almost completely set aside the emotional aspects of it, which for others is exactly the appeal. As I said, it’s a complicated topic.

I’ll leave you with this shot, originally from Cuckold Sessions, I found it on Femdom Archive tumblr. It looks like it’s taken from an intro-sequence, with a helpful cuckold preparing his mistress for her fun to come.

Back home

I’ve returned safely from my vacation in LaLa land. However, I’ve now got a relative flying in to stay with me for a couple of weeks, so posting may continue to be a bit erratic. Apologies in advance for that.

I’m looking forward to sharing the photographs of my sessions from the last few days. I got to experience all sorts of interesting activities, and we photographed a lot of them. In the meantime, while I go and prepare the spare room for my new guest, I’ll leave you with this shot that I found on reddit. Not sure of the context or who created it, but I thought it was striking and a little unusual.

When anything goes

Mistress T has an interesting and instructive post up about negotiating a scene. Her key point is that a submissive saying he’ll do ‘anything’ the domme wants is both useless and highly unlikely to be true.

My go-to (smart-ass) answer these days if they say they’re into anything that will make me happy is: “Great. You do the house work while I watch TV in my PJ’s and ignore you. Just leave the money on the counter.”

Her point is an excellent one but from the submissive point of view, it does touch on a real point of dilemma. How do you negotiate a scene without making it feel like you’re ordering from a restaurant menu? I’ve done scenes with new dommes where I’ve an expressed interest in X, Y and Z, and ended up with 40 minutes of each in that order. Pro-dommes typically complain when clients get very specific about scripting a scene and controlling how it should unfold. But the reverse situation also applies. I don’t want to feel I’m controlling exactly what the domme does.

Mistress T goes onto to suggest that of the 120 fetishes she has listed, the number of things a random submissive would hate is far longer than the list of things they’d like. I’m not sure about that. I don’t have access to her list, but I know of other examples from domme’s I’ve played with. For example, Domina Yuki’s and Lady Lydia’s. They both have 50 or so activities listed. Of those there are probably 2 or 3 that are hard limits for me and a couple of things that I’d do but aren’t particular interesting to me. The other 40+ things are all just dandy as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve done almost all of them at some point. Yet, in my experience, negotiating a very open scene based on 40 potential activities really doesn’t work well. Most domme’s tend to classify you as one of those ‘anything but not really’ guys, and assume you’re going to be unhappy when reality sets in.

I don’t have any great answers to this problem. The best advice I can give is to slowly build trust by doing multiple sessions, each featuring a limited number of different activities. Once you’ve built chemistry with someone and demonstrated a genuine breadth of interest, you’re more likely to be able to transition into a more natural and free-form dynamic. When I play with Lydia these days I suggest only a single idea as a possible direction and let her improvise from that point on. She knows by now that I’m open to a lot of different activities, and don’t have a fixed idea of how a scene should play out. I think last time I simply suggested something involving bondage on her bed, and ended up trapped in much rope, sporting an electrified butt-plug, with several piercings, many scratch marks and a plastic wrapped face.

I’ll leave you with an image of Mistress T and Amica Bentley, originally from The English Mansion that I found on Mistress T’s blog. I suspect for a lot of the ‘anything you want’ guys this particular activity is likely to transition into a ‘but not that’ response.

Swinging the single-tail

I had my back and ass well and truly striped today by Mistress Cynthia Stone. She used one of the heaviest single tails I’ve yet experienced and the resulting marks are pretty special. We snapped photographs so hopefully in a future post I’ll be able to share some images.

Until that exciting moment (settle down at the back there), I’ll restrict myself to this shot (via Selina Minx’s tumblr) of a whipping from the movie The Million Eyes of Su-Muru. With an imdb rating of 2.6/10, it’s clearly not a forgotten classic. However, it does look like the kind of film I’d have watched as a teenager with rapt attention and a strange feeling in my underpants.

It takes an act of God…

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. I’m pretty proud of my posting record here, and it’s rare that I miss a day. Right now I’m taking a few days vacation down in California, and unfortunately it turns out my hotel internet service can’t survive a relatively small 3.4 earthquake. Of all the natural disasters that can strike LA, you’d think earthquakes would be the one they could deal with, but apparently not.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed from this point on. I have some kinky shenanigans planned for my trip, so I’ll report on how they go. In the meantime I’ll leave you with this sweet picture courtesy of the Blue Uniform tumblr.

The rarest of kinky depictions

There’s a huge amount of images out there featuring male dominants and female submissives. There’s a lesser but still fair amount of the various Fm, Ff and Mm pairings. But it’s incredibly rare to see a shot that captures the idea of switching in a single image. Offhand I can’t think of another example I’ve seen. I think this is very clever, although I would have like to have seen a few ropes wrapped around the prone version of the male. I think the image would be a bit better balanced that way.

It’s by the photographer David Samson (free deviant art login required). The original full size version can be seen here.

Stereotypes of submission

A post by Ms Justine Cross pointed me at this interesting article on Salon by Tracy Clark-Flory. The article was written in response to one by Katie Roiphe in Newsweek suggesting that women are newly interested in submission because of the greater power and equality they’re experiencing in the workplace. The original Newsweek article stuck me as particularly muddleheaded and I’m glad to see someone pointing that out. However, in the process it does recycle an old stereotype that always annoys me. Namely that male submissives and masochists are typically powerful and successful career people who need to submit in order to take a break from all the high pressure decisions they normally have to take. It’s the cliche of the aggressive lawyer who spends all morning shouting at staff and his lunchtime wearing pink panties and getting caned.

It’s a point of view often heard from pro-dommes (as Ms Cross also mentions in her post), typically meant to describe their clients, but often applied generally to describe male submissives. And I get why pro-dommes say this. It’s a pre-emptive strike against the assumption that their clients (and by association themselves) are weird or misfits in society. Their clients aren’t just average they’re saying, they’re better than average, taken from the winners in society. But understanding it doesn’t stop it annoying me on several different levels.

Firstly, pro-domme clients are a self-selecting group, not a random sample. Seeing a pro-domme regularly costs thousands of dollars. Men who can afford this are certainly not a representative cross-section of society. Secondly, it’s not something I see discussed in non-professional circles. I’ve never seen someone write “My husband used to just want regular sex, but since he got that promotion suddenly he’s insisting I chain him up and pee on him. I like the extra income but I’ve had to spend half of it on leather outfits and a snorkel set”. Thirdly, a lot of kinky people can trace their preferences back to childhood or adolescence. Which means it’s completely unrelated to profession or success, unless you happen to have been a 13 year old investment banker.

Finally, and perhaps most annoying of all, is the implication that only powerful successful people (lawyers doctors, brokers, etc.) have stressful and high pressure decisions to take. Everyone has to deal with those kind of issues in their lives. In fact I’d say trying to bring up a family while working an underpaid job is going to involve a whole lot more stress and pressure than a rich, pro-domme visiting executive has to deal with.

The truth is that kinky people come from all walks of life. There’s nothing particularly special about having an interest in BDSM. Or at least no more so than all the interesting and quirky factors that go into making us who we are.

Given my original prompt for this post was Ms Justine Cross, that seems like a perfect excuse to feature a picture of the lovely lady in question.

Oh, that works!

I like this image because her expression is one that I know well. I suspect it’s familiar to a lot of submissives. It’s the expression of “Oh, that works, excellent! Let’s do more of that.”

There’s often a lot of improvisation in a scene. As Helmuth von Moltke (the elder) famously said “No plan survives contact with the enemy”. Most BDSM scenes start with a master strategy but degenerate (or evolve) as physics and sweaty bodies get involved. However, I’ve noticed that as the improvisation unfolds there’s often an ‘Aha!’ moment. It’s that key moment the dominant discovers which of her ideas work really well. From a submissive point of view, its a little bittersweet. There’s a shared happiness that the scene is coming together, but a sense of dread that things are only going to get significantly more painful from here on out.

This image is from the Divine Bitches site.