Labeling the world

I received an interesting comment recently on my Femdom Images page. It was from the curator of the Work Is Never Over tumblr and related to my tumblr categorization. Until today the two options were ‘Femdom’ (i.e. All those featuring pictures with a dominant woman somewhere in there) or ‘BDSM and fetish’ (i.e. Anything else I liked that didn’t fit in the first category). Since her tumblr focused heavily on male submissives it ended up in the second group. You can read her entire comment here, but the essence of it was her ambivalence to the categorization.

I’m not sure how to feel about not being categorized as a “femdom” blog— on the one hand, waaa, visibility! (Not to mention: I *am* a female dominant. Hmf. 😉 )
But on the other hand… I despise standard femdom imagery (“Femdom™”)— hence my blog— and I’m distinctly proud that my blog is recognizably different enough from that to have not made it into that list! 😀
(Of course, on the third hand, I always kind of hope that people looking for Femdom™ would come across my blog and see that it doesn’t have to look like that. I guess I’m back to that first hand! XD )

My first thought was how great a three handed domme would actually be. She could tease, tickle and torture you all at once! But stretched metaphors aside, she raised a good point. I’m personally not against a bit of stereotypical femdom imagery now and again. It’s popular for a reason. At the same time I recognize the huge imbalance in the type of material that’s floating around out there. And I’m very much in favor of people who are venturing into femdom being able to find material that will attract them and represent how they might want to play. You don’t need to pull on a thousand dollars of fetish gear, convert the spare room into a dungeon and plaster a sneer onto your face to experiment with female dominance. My goal on this site has always been to provide an interesting mix of material that will have broad appeal (to no doubt mixed success).

In an effort to categorize better I’ve therefore split the tumblr section into 4 rather than 2 sections: General femdom, dominant focused, submissive focused, and BDSM/fetish. These are obviously very imprecise labels, and tumblrs are typically not single themes, but hopefully they’ll provide at least a little guidance when searching for particular types of material. It’ll also give me a chance to expand the submissive focused section which, as a male submissive, I suspect I’ve neglected in the past.

I’ll leave you with an image I liked from the tumblr in question (originally from Men in Pain). It captures a nice moment of connection.

Moment of Connection

Wanted: Mänskliga Fotpall

Yesterday I received one of the more unusual comments I’ve ever had. It was from a Sandra Lindqvist, a researcher for a Swedish TV company, looking to find people to help them with a documentary.

We are currently working on a documentary series called “Fråga Olle-dokumentären” (“Ask Olle about sex – documentary”) about sex, love and relationships for Swedish Channel 5

One topic we would like to cover in our documentary is ”Human Furniture” – Forniphilia

I was wondering if you know any Mistresses or just some people that are practicing this? We are going to UK next Wednesday for a couple of days and we really want to meet and do a segment with someone about this when we are there.

Given I haven’t visited Sweden in years, and don’t speak the language, I’ve unsurprisingly never heard of the series. I’m guessing that this is the homepage for it. And while I have featured forniphilia a few times in the past, I wouldn’t describe it as a major kink of mine. The fantasy is kind of fun, but I suspect I’d quickly get bored of the reality.

Anyway, if you’re in the UK (or I assume Sweden), into forniphilia at all and feel you could help out, then I suggest giving Sandra an email. The only forniphilia experts I know of offhand are House of Gord, and they’re US based and maledom.

While I can’t help out directly, the comment does at least give me an excuse to feature a couple of interesting images on the theme. The first features Mistress Alex combining public humiliation, objectification and the morning paper. The second is by David Blázquezz, one of a series of similar images he shot for an exhibition. The shelving construction in the series is particularly impressive.

Mistress Alex of NYC

Human lamp by David Blázquez

Loving submissive men

I was browsing the blog ‘Tits and Sass‘ over the weekend when I came across this article. If you’ve not encountered it before, the blog itself is run by sex workers and provides all sorts of commentary and links relevant to their industry. The article in question is by Paris Lee, a former dancer and cam girl, and describes her decision first to get and then to get rid of breast implants. It’s not at all femdom related and, although I found it interesting to read her perspective, I had no plans to blog about it. Until I read her short sign-off section…

Paris lives in Ohio and loves ferrets, dogs, and submissive men…

When I saw that it struck me just how unusual it was. Outside of dedicated D/s and BDSM blogs, I don’t think I’ve ever see that before. The article in question may have been related to sex work, but it had nothing to do with kink or submission. Paris just decided that loving submissive men was a fact about herself worth sticking in that brief biographical sign-off paragraph. I’m glad she did (and does), but it’s kind of depressing to realize just how surprising it was to see that sentence. I probably shouldn’t hold my breath to spot it in a match profile anytime soon.

I’ll leave you with a shot that might encourage more women to adopt a similar sentiment. He looks just so damn cute and perky. I hope she has a treat available if he behaves himself.

Perky submissive at the end of leashThis image is originally from the CBT and Ballbusting site. I found it on the Femdom Archive tumblr.

Triple threat

They say that problems come in threes. This image seems like a perfect illustration of that theory. I’m not sure exactly whose butt we’re looking at on the right, but it’s pretty clear he’s going to have three big incoming ‘problems’ pretty soon. Although they also say that every problem is also an opportunity. I can’t say I’d object to having to deal with these kind of opportunities.

Triple Threat

 

TV Guide

I’m going to interpret my blog tagline – the beauty of dominant women – fairly liberally for this post. It’s not femdom related in the sexual sense, but it does relate very much to a strong dominant women. I’ve just spent an enjoyable evening re-watching the first few episodes of Prime Suspect starring Helen Mirren. It comes from a rich tradition of British crime series, which also includes such gems as Cracker and Wire in the Blood.

I have a love hate relationship with these kind of shows. I enjoy the genre and plot structure, but hate the sexual stereotypes they almost always portray. Sex workers are normally damaged powerless victims. The criminals are often sexually warped sadists whose only outlet is violent attacks. It’s certainly not a genre to look at for positive portrayals of BDSM. Despite that, the Prime Suspect series is redeemed by having the wonderful Helen Mirren in the leading role. She plays a strong no-nonsense female character who puts up with a lot of sexist bullshit from her colleagues while still figuring out the cases. It’s a real pleasure to watch such a talented actress sink her teeth into the role.

US TV has a tendency to remake and horribly screw-up British series. I’ve not seen the US version, but looking at some of the online video’s they seem to have repeated the trick here. What was a reserved and complex older female character, with a flinty inner core, has become a skirt-the-rules cop played by a conventionally attractive blonde with a classic in your face New York attitude. In other words, the same thing we’ve seen a million times before. The good news is that netflix has the original UK series available for streaming. I definitely recommend checking it out.

Helen Mirren from Prime SuspectPhotograph is of Helen Mirren from a Prime Suspect publicity shot. If you’re a fan of hers, then I also recommend watching Excalibur. It’s a brilliant version of the Arthurian legend featuring her in the role of Morgana.

Origins of a fetish

Yesterday’s post on the reality of medical facilities got me thinking about the origins of fetishes. Scott left a comment about his recent medical procedures and how unerotic they were, which aligns with my personal experiences of hospitals. Yet, the medical fetish seems to be a very popular one. I think that offers a great illustration of just how complex fetish origins can be.

Looking at ‘simple’ fetishes like feet, latex or stockings it’s tempting to come up with a very reductive explanation, involving just the right mixture of the item in question, a female figure of desire and an impressionable child. A suitable blend of positive elements and poof, fetish wiring imprinted into the brain. But how does a child subvert something as unpleasant as a hospital stay into an erotic charge later in life? That’s not an obvious ‘positive’ origin at all. One might guess that fear, female authority figures, clinical intimacy and a focus on the body all play a role. But it would seem impossible to boil it down to some sort of Pavlovian response to basic stimulus.

I’m not really a fetish person, but like a lot of areas of human sexuality, I do find them fascinating to ponder. They may manifest themselves in a similar fashion (fetishized+fetishist=fun), but their origins must be highly variable and complex.

Nurse about to examine patientThis seems to be a suitable image to continue the medical femdom theme. I found it on the iHonorHer blog. I believe this is Stephanie Seymour from Vogue France in 1995.

Reality 1 Fantasy 0

I’m back in Seattle after a vacation packed with a little more incident than I was hoping for. My mother is in town from England for a few weeks and I thought I’d show her the beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Unfortunately she got a little too up close and personal with some of the beauty, after slipping and falling on the beach. Two days, two hospitals and many hours later, she was sporting a cast and couple of metal pins to hold a broken wrist bone in place. Not a great souvenir to bring back from vacation.

I have to say that if you ever want to cure somebody of a medical or nurse fetish, just make them spend time in some real medical establishments. I wasn’t the one being treated, but I did get to kill a lot of time just hanging around different bits of the hospitals. They’re horrible places. Beige and grey throughout, with drab utilitarian furniture, scuffed surfaces and condescending public service posters plastered everywhere. The only gleaming white and visually interesting places – like the ICU or operating theater – are the spots you’ll only experience in really bad situations when sexy fun time is definitely not in your thoughts.

The nurses varied from brusque and surly through to efficient and helpful. But none had me rushing out to fake up a minor injury to get treated. I saw more eye catching women in 10 minutes in downtown Vancouver than I did in 10 hours at nurse central. My favorite was the highly officious one who insisted on getting my agreement on the $600 initial fee before starting treatment. This while mom was moaning in pain and going into shock. I’m not sure what poor foreigners are supposed to do if they injure themselves in Canada. Just moan quietly and try not to bleed too much before they can get home?

Anyway, just because reality sucks, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the fantasy. Here’s an image from Peter Coulson featuring a nurse and patient depicted as many of us would wish them to be.

Nurse and patient in a photograph by Peter Coulson

The ‘dominatrix’ in fashion

It seems that every week I see some fashion article extolling the ‘dominatrix’ look. It’s a regular part of the current fall fashion collections. The latest was this on the DSquared2 fashion show. Typically I steer away from cliched dominatrix shots. But if you’re going to shoot for that, at least do it properly. Every single ‘dominatrix’ fashion look so far has come across as very weak sauce. A pair of leather boots or a tight leather top does not equal dominatrix. If you’re going to do it, do it properly. The image below (courtesy of Fetish World tumblr) is a good example of the look done right. Boots. Corset. Jodhpurs. Crop. Stare. All check.

Domme

Nom Nom Nom

The next few posts might be a little random. I’m spending a few days on Vancouver Island with some friends in a shared house. So I’m posting at odd moments when I get a little alone time with my laptop. I don’t have much time to craft anything clever. Some might argue that’ll make no difference anyway.

Fortunately this image pretty much speaks for itself. Bondage, biting, cute girls and cocks. What’s not to like?

Biting

I found this on the My Miss in Control tumblr.