I always knew I wasn’t crazy. And now I have proof. Proof I tell you!
According to the survey described in this article, people practicing BDSM are psychologically healthier than those who don’t. Admittedly the survey was of 900 BDSM practitioners from the Netherlands rather than me specifically, but I’ll take what I can get. Nice to know that paying someone to stick needles into my genitals is a sign of good mental health.
I’ve no idea how carefully they chose their sample set, but I was interested to note that the Dom/Switch/Sub percentages for men was 48/18/33 and for women 8/16/75. It was also interesting that while all categories scored higher than non-kink folks, the dominants scored the highest, then the switches and finally the submissives. So while I might saner than those people not hitting each other with sticks, I’m still bringing up the rear in the kink community.
Finally, to finish, here’s a picture of a well adjusted couple working on improving their psychological well being.
(Image Removed)
I found this image on the mira-mel tumblr. I’ve no original attribution. Weirdly, and for the first time I can remember, Google’s image search confuses it with other images and therefore returns the wrong pages for it.
I’ve got a theory that’s roughly based on Winnicott’s idea of the false self/true self distinction, later taken up by RD Laing in ‘The Divided Self’.
I wrote this on another blog, but it applies here:
[Kink] breaks a hell of a lot of taboos, for sure. And it’s transgressive, certainly. That’s part of the reason why it enables us to get past the false-self system that afflicts (and conflicts) most of us, and get down to a place where we can meet in knowing and loving acceptance of the dark side that is the natural home and lair of the true self.
There’s a price to be paid for the ‘normality’ that is necessary for socialisation, and that price is a degree of mental conflict, distress, and pain that most of us, if we’re honest, live with daily. The insane are the casualties of that process.
Kink gives us a much-needed holiday, and you know what they say, ‘A change is as good as a rest.’
All I know is that a chance meeting with the woman who is now my Mistress has been a life-changer, even at my age. Better late than never.
The idea of the true/false self is a fascinating one. I’d come across that concept in passing before, but never had a proper reference to look up and read. Thanks for that. I suspect it deserves a future post of it’s own when I’ve dug in a little deeper.
And glad that chance meeting happened for you. Life can be very random. As you say, better late than never.
-paltego
thank you for using my picture without asking!
You will get a message from my lawyer the next days!
Thomas