Fmm – Page 5 – Femdom Resource

Sharing her toy

Here’s a piece of art that I suspect will divide my readers into two distinct groups of ‘love it’ and ‘hate it’. I’m in the former, as I love the connection between her and the submissive. There’s his plaintive look, the eye contact, her hand on his head and his hand around her thigh. Pure man on man action doesn’t do much for me, but add a feminine element into the mix and somehow it works. I know for others the prospect of sweaty man sex is always a deal breaker.

The image puts me in mind of a story called Basement Suite by Orestes. If you like the image you might want to check that out. And if you like that story, I’d also suggest Equal Partners by the same author. That has similar themes with some cross dressing and forced feminization thrown into the mix.

The image is signed ‘Galuss’, but I’m afraid I’ve failed to track down any information at all on that artist. The only examples I’ve found with similar names look completely different in style. If you know anything about the artist then please leave me a comment. I found it originally on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Perverting perversity

I thought this was an interesting article on the history of the word pervert. Apparently it started off as a word to describe an atheist. It wasn’t till the end of the 19th Century that it became associated with sexual depravity. Prior to that unconventional sexual acts were simply seen as a sign of moral degeneracy and decadence. It was the early sexologists who created the idea of sexual desire being an orientation and re-purposed perversion (‘turning away from the right course’) to describe people who fitted into that group.

The really shocking thing about this is that it means the highly historically accurate Blackadder II, set in 16th Century Elizabethan England, used the word incorrectly for the character of the baby eating bishop of Bath and Wells.

Bishop: Yes. You see, I am a colossal pervert. No form of sexual depravity is too low for me. Animal, vegetable or mineral — I’ll do anything to anything.
Edmund: Fine words for a Bishop. It’s nice to hear the Church speaking out for a change on social issues.

The clip itself can be seen here. And for any of my US readers who have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, I suggest checking out one of the most brilliant comedy series ever recorded. It’s currently on NetFlix streaming, although I’d recommend skipping the first season and sticking to seasons 2, 3 and 4.

As for an image I wanted something featuring a whole heap of perversity, and the one below seemed to fit the bill. There’s bondage, cross-dressing, cuckolding, homosexuality and butt plugs. All sorts of good stuff.

I found the image via the sissiebondage tumblr and once again I’ve failed to track down an original source for it. Either Google reverse image search is really sucking these days or I’m picking particularly obscure images. If anyone knows the artist then feel free to leave a comment.

Perspectives on cuckolding

Dan Savage recently published an interesting series of letters on cuckolding. They were all from people who were either involved in it or fantasizing about it. The first featured a woman justifiably frustrated at her husband continually forcing the fantasy into their love life. The second features a man’s perspective on the fantasy. Finally, a series of four letters from women details both their good and bad experiences with it.

It’s not a topic I talk much about on this blog. It strikes me as a very contextual activity that’s hard to address in the abstract. The tease and denial aspect of it seem very hot to me. The potential contrast between their pleasure and my frustration is certainly a button pusher. However, I find it hard to relate to the emotional components, and that seems to be a key part for most cuckold couples.

Purely on the basis of a risk/reward calculation, it does seem to be one of the more dangerous kinky things to dabble in. Most activities can be tried without risking major fallout. Experimenting to see if you both like floggers or rope bondage is unlikely to decimate the landscape of a relationship. Cuckolding is more of a nuclear option. Great if it works, but you’ll be cleaning the mess up for years if it doesn’t.

The above image is originally from the Merciless Women site. I found it on the Cuckold Collection tumblr.

Stages of transition

Welcome to my aftercare. Specifically stage 3 of my aftercare. I did a heavy breathplay session with Lydia earlier this evening, and now I’m slowly easing myself back into the world.

Stage 1 of aftercare happens while I’m naked and sweaty. Bits of equipment are still scattered around and straps or rope remain to be untangled. The conversation is light and giddy. I’m still floating from endorphins and want to chat about what we just did. Shaking and laughter may spontaneously erupt.

Stage 2 is when clothes have been pulled on, hair dragged back into place and my keys and phone located. It’s the casual conversation afterwards. What plans we have. Who is traveling where. What bizarre situations we’ve encountered recently (Lydia normally wins that one). It’s a nice way to transition from the slightly surreal confines of a BDSM play space to a damp Seattle night.

Stage 3 is my selfcare. It’s where I pamper myself. It’s not quite as elaborate as D humorously describes in her recent aftercare post. A massage, bubble bath and dinner at my favorite restaurant sounds perfect. I’m having to make do with some Jamón ibérico, French bread, brie and champagne. But that doesn’t suck as a way to unwind after a session. I guess I’m also writing this post, which is another way for me to relax. So thanks to everyone out there for being another part of my aftercare process.

It’s tough to find shots of aftercare. So instead he’s an image of somebody being pampered in the style to which she looks accustomed. I’m not normally someone who’d like naked slaves around, but a helpful body to bring me a glass of wine after a scene would be nice. I found this on the Vengeful Goddess tumblr. It’s originally from Divine Bitches.

Once you go kink, you never go back

I was chatting to a vanilla friend about kink recently. Nothing to explicit. Just a very general discussion about the psychological and emotional elements of it. She’s not kinky but is a pretty experienced and well rounded person. So I was surprised to hear her suggest that obviously my kinky interests would replace any interest I had in PIV sex. Apparently in her mind once someone started down the slope of rope, leather and whips, they were forever lost to the world of regular intercourse.

I was initially kind of shocked by this. I see my kinky interests expanding my horizons, not limiting them. I love a good regular fuck as much as the next non-kinky guy. Why would one pleasure replace another? However, in hindsight I can kind of see where she was coming from. The mainstream representation of kink normally features people with serious hang-ups and highly specific interests. Fetishists and sadomasochists are often portrayed as constantly pushing their limits, interested only in seeking their next big rush. Even the original definition of masochism, by Krafft-Ebing, defined it as a replacement of normal sexual life.

By this perversion his sexual instinct is often made more or less insensible to the normal charms of the opposite sex – incapable of a normal sexual life – psychically impotent.
Krafft-Ebing from Psychopath Sexualize, 1876

In reality I suspect that the percentage of kinky people who have no interest in regular sex is very small. When I mentioned this topic to Lydia she guest-imated that number at 5% of kinky people. I think that number would come as a big surprise to a lot of vanilla folks.

Of course it’s possible I haven’t just had the right mind-blowing kinky experience yet. Would a FMM threesome be the thing to push me onto a slippery slope of depravity I can never return from? I feel it’s my duty to investigate further. While I do so, I’ll leave you to enjoy this threesome image found on the Selina Minx tumblr.

Luxury

Today marks my last full day in Vegas before flying back to Seattle. Sadly I haven’t yet managed to get myself as pampered as the lady below, but it has been close at times. I was going to add that every hotel room should come with a couple of naked helpers to help pour the champagne, but then it struck me I’m a masochist/submissive, so I’d probably get bored with that.

I haven’t got up to any kinky shenanigans this trip, but for anyone planning on mixing travel with kink, Lily has a useful post she published a few days ago.

I found this on the Geek Domme tumblr. The watermark doesn’t appear to go to a still valid site.

When the going gets weird…

Weirdness often seems to occur at the intersection between the ordinary and the extraordinary. For example, while BDSM dungeons are unusual places, I don’t find them weird at all. Everything is in a common context. However, discovering one of my distinguished elderly aunts sipping a cup of tea while browsing a collection of nipple clamps in a dungeon, now that’d be weird. And possibly therapy inducing.

Pornography is a similar story. I can look at a picture of a bound man sucking a half naked transsexual and just think it’s a hot visual. Yet, occasionally there will be some weird juxtaposition of elements in a scene that turn it into WTF moment. Take the shot below for example. It’s not the dog hood alone that makes it weird. It’s the nonchalant way he’s wearing it, relaxing on the living room couch in his weekend casuals. Exactly what’s the role play here? I think if he was naked and leashed on the floor, in a bizarre way, it’d be a lot more normal a scene.

I found this on the All About Me (aka dominant damp knickers) tumblr. It’s originally from the Sharing My Wife site.

The usual lengthy visit

A few days ago I was waffling about image context, and how it can make a difference in how I respond to an image. Surround an image with other femdom material and I’ll suddenly see D/s elements that weren’t there originally. Well this is the post where I provide a counter-example to that theory.

I first came across the image below on the Alternative Femdom tumblr. Given that source my immediate thought was “Cuckold shot.” There’s a couple making out and a solo male looking unhappy. In femdom porn that combination always equals cuckold. Yet the more I looked at it, the less right that felt. It doesn’t seem to depict jealousy, tension or arousal. The overriding feeling I get is of loneliness and depression. I don’t think it’s his partner with her bra strap showing. I think it’s his roommates, and there lies the pain. If anything it’s thoughtless sadism and self-inflicted masochism.

The painting is called ‘The usual lengthy visit‘ and is by the Vancouver artist Andrew Young. I love his work, and this piece in particular. You can see some of the ‘in progress’ shots for it here, here and here. It’s not femdom, but I think it beautiful captures an experience and emotions many of us have felt at some stage in our lives.

You might be a redneck if…

…you don’t enjoy cuckolding. At least that’s according to this article on it over at the Daily Beast (thanks to Suzanne for the link). It’s an interesting article, but based on what seems to be a flawed premise. Its primary contention is that cuckolding is S&M for smart people. A type of psychological torture that is ideal suited to kinky members of Mensa.

In this respect, cuckolding attracts “the very highly educated,” Paul says, adding that it’s “truly intellectual in its enterprise because it replaces sexual touch with humiliation and emotional pain, both of which are psychological. Most of what gives me physical pleasure has to go on in my brain. I’m totally being classist, but this isn’t like people in redneck bars asking each other, ‘You wanna fuck my wife?’ It’s much more complex. It’s pleasure on a different level.”
Dr Paul Pines

Given the focus on intelligence, it’s ironic that the article itself comes across as so dumb. For one thing the conflation of intelligence with emotional masochism seems incredibly simplistic. Yes, they’re both something to do with the brain. But so is pretty much anything we experience, including physical pain. Any kind of D/s is about power dynamics and relationships, which are an intellectual construct. I’m also not a fan of the presumably corollary, that if emotional masochism is for smart people then physical masochism must be better suited for the hairy knuckle crowd. As someone who enjoys a carefully delivered beating, me no happy bout that type of finkin.

I guess one argument they could be making is that you need to be smart to deal with the jealousy and emotional risks of cuckolding. That would presuppose that smart people are more emotionally mature. That supposition doesn’t correspond with anything I’ve observed in reality. I work in the software industry with a lot of scarily smart people. I have friends working in places like Google, Microsoft and Facebook on some of their most complex products. PhD’s are as common as expense cellphones, badly fitting T-shirts and intellectual arrogance. When I think about these people, emotional maturity is not a description that leaps to mind. Nor does it hop, saunter or nervously peer round the door into mind. These are the kind of people who can become emotionally unhinged arguing over indent styles. God knows what they’d make of someone treating their significant other as a shared resource and playing with her ACL’s (sorry, geek humor) *.

For an accompanying image I thought I’d go with something I found on the Felm Cyber tumblr. I like it for the distorted perspective, exaggerated bodies and weird decor. They give it a jangly off-kilter feel, which is a good match for the emotions involved. I’m afraid I couldn’t track down an artist attribution.

* Note that I’m not saying that smart people can’t be emotional mature. Or that computer geeks can’t be into cuckolding. Just that the correlation between PhD smart and the ability to deal with an emotionally fraught situation is very much unproven.

Screw the roses

I really hate Valentines Day. This is not because I’m a miserable curmudgeon (that’s just a coincidence), and I certainly don’t dislike a romantic gesture at the right time. But Valentines Day is amateur hour. If you need a special day as a reminder to buy some flowers, or champagne or whatever tickles the fancy of your romantic significant other, then you probably have other issues to address. What’s particularly annoying from my personal perspective is the restaurant situation. They cram in extra tables, only offer a fixed menu and charge extra. Add in harried waitstaff and a lot of new customers who expect special treatment on their rare night out, and you’ve got a real zoo. I never go out on Valentines Day if I can avoid it, whatever my relationship status.

Unfortunately this week I’m traveling and solo. I’m therefore going to be forced into my starring role of bitter grumpy man in restaurant. This will be swiftly followed by my encore presentation of drunk grumpy man in restaurant. In the meantime I’ll leave you with the least romantic image I could find on my computer. This is from the always extreme EmmaS.