Tag: Fm

Old School Tenderness

This image has a very old school vibe to it. There’s the all black outfits, the leather studded collar, the peaked cap and the grainy black and white photograph. Yet there’s a tenderness and playfulness to it that’s rare in vintage BDSM shots.

I’ve no idea where it’s from. Google tells me that its best guess for the image is ‘February’, which isn’t exactly helpful. If AI ever does take over the world, I think it’s unlikely to get its start as Google’s image search algorithms. They may be ‘A’ but they’re rarely ‘I’. My best guess for it would be a shot from an old pro-domme advertisement in something like DDI, but that’s based on nothing other than my instinct. If anyone does recognize it, I’d love to the who the domme is.

The annoying BD

While I’m talking about the definition of BDSM (as I just was), allow me to air a pet peeve. Most readers probably know that the acronym stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. I get the second and third pairing, but that first one always bugs me. Why is bondage explicitly paired with discipline? People tend to hand wave around this issue being saying they’re related activities. For example, Wikipedia says…

  they have conceptual similarities, and that is why they appear jointly.

Frankly, that seems like bullshit to me. I think people just like the symmetry of the phrasing and the clever re-use of the letters, and therefore gloss over the fact the first pair makes no sense being tied together (ahem).

Personally, I’d drop discipline entirely. Bondage is such a common and important shared activity then I think it deserves a special place in the acronym, but discipline can slide under the D/s bit as a particular style of that dynamic. That’d keep the same four letters, but make it a lot more logical.

These beautiful bondage images come from Amaury Grisel. You can see more from the same shot in this post.

The challenge of definitions

This dailydot article entitled ‘What is BDSM‘ will probably not contain anything particularly new or interesting to regular readers. However, one part did catch my eye…

In The New Topping Book, co-author Janet W. Hardy describes BDSM as “an activity in which the participants eroticize sensations or emotions that would be unpleasant in a non-erotic context.”

I’ve never seen that definition before, and my first instinct was to say that it couldn’t possibly be true. BDSM is packed with sexy fun, so surely that must include activities that are pleasant in a non-erotic context. But the more I thought about it, the more I struggled to come up with some good examples to invalidate the definition.

Certainly, the kinky things I enjoy wouldn’t be fun in a non-erotic context. If I’m being whipped, pierced, bound, beaten, suffocated, bitten or burnt then it’s either a great play session or I’ve been kidnapped by a serial killer. There’s not a lot of room in between. Even for non-masochistic stuff, it’s hard to think of a good example that contradicts the definition. Things like foot worship, humiliation, CFNM, blackmail and service are no fun without an erotic context. And things like fetishistic outfits, anal penetration, chastity play and tease and denial are inherently inseparable from eroticism.  So what’s left?

The only thing I can suggest are splooshing and looning. They seem like they could be both non-sexual fun for some people and hot sexy times for others. But while they’re definitely kinks, I’m not sure they count as BDSM. So I think that means the definition stands. Unless anyone out there can come up with an activity that breaks it?

Here’s a lady enjoying both a cake and anilingus. That’s definitely kinky, but is it BDSM? And while cake can be non-erotic, can the same be said for eating it while getting your bottom polished?

Playing Dead

This image made me laugh. His posture and expression are unusual for this kind of shot. Has he collapsed, exhausted after a vigorous rogering? Did it take her so long to put on all that fancy fetish gear that he dozed off? Or is he playing dead, in the hope that the scary lady with the enormous strap-on will get bored and leave him alone?

This is originally from the StrapOn Dreamer site.

Beginners Beware

Enlisting a domme to write an articles on kinks and fetishes is a common technique these days to attract a few clicks with some titillating content. They tend to vary from blandly boring through to offensive kink shaming, with just the occasional interesting gem. Sadly, this one from Metro, written by Miranda Kane, is no gem. It starts off with a kink shaming title, before veering into the stupid and dangerous. Specifically this part on CBT…

But beginners can’t go wrong with investing in a pinwheel (…) and urethral sounding rods (which are metal sticks that go in the pee-hole).

Urethral sounding rods for beginners? I’m not sure you could pick something less suitable for CBT for beginners. I guess scrotal inflation? A crown of thorns?

Urethral sounds are a super specialized toy. They’re very intimidating for a lot of people. They require a particular technique to use, so you don’t risk tearing any delicate internal tissue. If you’re not careful about handling and sterilizing them, there’s a risk of introducing bacteria into the urethra and getting an infection. Not to mention, as a sensation they’re not even that tortuous, so not really CBT at all. I always enjoy experiencing them, and think they’re worth exploring for those with a bit of kinky experience, but they’re not for anyone wanting to torture their first cock.

How about clothespins? Or a little slappy paddle? Or just pinching and biting? There are about a thousand ways to try out CBT at lower cost and lower risk.

This is Clair Adams in a shoot with Nomad for kink.com. I think this counts as the super advanced CBT class – an electrified urethral sound. Definitely one of the more unique sensations I’ve ever experienced.

Problems

Apologies for the inactivity on the site recently. Over the weekend there was yet another technical issue with my web hosting company that took the site offline for many hours. That’s the third repeat of the issue in as many months, but like all modern technical companies, it’s almost impossible to get a human contact and a clear technical answer on what the problem was. Then, just as soon as I got that fixed, I screwed my back up and ended up horizontal on the floor. Being unable to bend or sit is not really conducive to blogging.

Anyway, hopefully the site is back and my back is good. Or, if good is too much to hope for, at least it’ll let me sit and type for short periods. By way of apology, here’s a hot and sexy image from the ever talented Yumine Guo. I’m not a CFNM fan per se, but there’s something lovely about his naked openess and her casual and clothed perch on the couch.

Desert Domination

I have several ideas for longer posts I want to write, but an unfortunate lack of time to do the actual writing. So I’m going to cheat again today, and simply feature some lovely content from another domme I’d love to renew my acquaintance with. This is from a recent gallery update from Mistress Iris and I spotted it via her twitter feed.

These kind of scenes might not be what you’d aim for in a typical play session, but I do appreciate the effort to do something both unusual and visual striking. I don’t really want to be whipped and abandoned in the desert, but I do want to play with the kind of domme who’ll use her time and imagination to put together something creative beyond the typical ‘sneering domme in fetish gear’ shots.

You can see more shots from this scene on her gallery pages. While Mistress Iris is undoubtedly beautiful, that car is pretty damn sexy as well. I love old school convertibles.

Relaxed Selfie

It has been a while since I played, and a while I traveled anywhere. I don’t have an immediate plan to fix that, but I’m beginning to feel the urge to put one together. Browsing the twitter feeds of some of my favorite dommes and seeing their session snaps is certainly adding fuel to that fire. For example, the shot is from Domina Yuki’s twitter, and looks like a very fun way to spend an afternoon.

Hades and Persephone

Apologies if you had trouble reaching the site over the weekend. My site hosting service was screwed up again, much to my frustration.

The artwork below is by Jessica Madorran, and is a twist on the traditional representation of Hades and Persephone. In Greek mythology Persephone was the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of the harvest and agriculture. When the god of the underworld, Hades, kidnaps the beautiful Persephone the result is a great famine, as Demeter curses the land while roaming it looking for her daughter. Zeus eventually brokers a compromise, with Persephone spending just one third of the year in the underworld with Hades. During that time Demeter grieves for her daughter, causing us mortals to get stuck with winter. Not quite sure why abducting a helpless maiden should get you a compromise deal of 4 months visitation, rather than say a well deserved thunderbolt up your ass, but that’s Greeks gods for you.

The twist in this artwork is a gender reversal, with a female Hades and a male Persephone. I like that change, but it’s odd that someone would commission such a piece. Is there such a thing as a greek mythology gender-swap fetish? Apparently so.

You can see more of Jessica’s work here.