Tag: Fm

Cute Pony and Owner

I’m not personally a fan of participating in pony play. Being a pony often appears to involve hard physical work, and no part of that is sexy to me. I’d rather play the part of the lazy stable lad who gets whipped by the lady of the manor for not cleaning her boots properly. But I digress. I mention ponies because I stumbled across this image by The Smutty Rogue. It’s cute as hell, and has a fun playful energy to it. I believe its modeled on DrPonyBatBond and Mistress Michelle Lacy. It’s not going to convince me to pull on a pony hood, but femdom art like this is always appreciated.

You can see more images in this series via this tweet. The artist will also accept commissions.

Cute Toilet

It’s not often I find myself using the word cute in connection with a toilet play scene, but I guess this post will have to be the exception. The image below is Bastienne Cross on her rather unique toilet, found via this tweet. You can see another angle of the table like toilet in this image (from this tweet), with the subby’s feet just sticking out at the top. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dungeon toilet design quite like this one.

Where most people take a book to the bathroom, Bastienne obviously prefers bubbles.

Bastienne Cross is a Toronto based pro-domme.

Beware the Nipple

Exhibit number 1,024,604 in the case of ‘sexually repressed crazy people vs sanity’ would be this story of a teacher fired for a topless selfie. The woman in question sent a topless shot to a colleague she’d previously dated, which got leaked to a student. In any sane world this would result in a collective shrug. If you were you going to punish anyone, it would obviously be the male teacher she sent it to. He was at best careless and at worst vindictive. However, because this is the worst possible timeline we’re all living in, she was the one fired.

I realize this story isn’t femdom related, but it is a great example of the fucked up way attitude society has to female sexuality. She wants to give her partner a little visual treat, and gets punished for it. The students and the man violate her privacy, and as far as I can tell, absolutely nothing happened to them.

The good news is that she’s sued the school for discrimination. The case is based on the fact that a male topless shot wouldn’t have been any big deal. I hope she wins, but I wish it was less about discrimination and based more on the idea of minding your own goddamn business. You’d think an internet awash in millions of naked people would have desensitized us to this kind of thing, but apparently not.

Here’s some male nippilage to finish the post. Hopefully he doesn’t have any students to scandalize.

Warning Signs

I thought I’d continue my previous post on the incompetent domme and the site she shoots for with a few follow-up thoughts.

Firstly, always be alert for warning signs in any kinky interaction – whether it’s playing in person or simply buying someone’s BDSM porn. I remember seeing the site in question advertise for film slaves with the condition that they’d only waive the usual session fee if the slave didn’t use their safeword. That’s obviously a horrible incentive structure. The submissive is liable to push beyond safe limits to avoid paying and the domme is encouraged to push hard in order to save the company money. I should have called them out when I saw that, but somehow it slid past me at the time.

Secondly, be smart about where you consume porn from. If you like a lot of low risk activities, then it probably doesn’t matter who the domme is. Femdom Empire features a lot of crossover models from the regular porn world,  but they tend to stick to activities like pegging, foot worship, facesitting, tease/denial. etc. I’ve never seen them do extreme scenes that create non-trivial risk. On the other hand, if you’re more into things like impact play, heavy bondage, CBT and medical play, then pick sites that feature a lot of well known pro-dommes. For example, The English Mansion site definitely features edgier activities, but it’s also run by a well known domme and features a lot of top professionals.

Finally, if you’re a submissive, don’t think you can delegate all safety concerns to the domme. Playing safely is a joint responsibility. If you’re concerned about raising issues mid-scene – which I’ll admit can be difficult – then build into more intense play slowly over time. That makes it much easier to adjust course or raise concerns between sessions when you’re in a clearer headspace. I’d rather look forward to playing again and pushing just a little further than leave a scene with an injury or a messed up mental state.

Talking of the English Mansion, heavier activities and professionals who know what they’re doing, here’s Domina Liza in a shoot for them. She’s certainly someone who knows how to correctly wield a single tail.

What Happened Next?

This is one of those images with endless possibilities. Depending on your personal kinks or proclivities, there are a lot of different ways you can imagine this scene unfolding. Although I do think that 99% of them involve those jeans coming off.

This is Liara Roux, who both creates porn and works as a professional companion. The man with the eye catching erection is Oliver Davis and the scene was shot by Ashley Lake.

You can see more from the scene in this tweet and on Liara’s site.

Her Delicate Touch

Here’s something sweet to start the week. This image is from the SF based pro-domme Mistress Wild Iris, via this tweet.

Ironically, I find one of the things that makes a great pro-domme isn’t their ability to crack a single tail, or rig a fiendishly complex bondage scene, it’s the delicate touches they bring to their scenes. It’s knowing when the submissive needs a grounding contact to bring them back. The breath of a whisper into their ear. The press of a sensual warm body on a bruised back. It’s that momentary physical and emotional connection that allows intense sensations to be sublimated into a D/s dynamic.

You can see more from Mistress Wild Iris on her twitter feed.

Pride in her Work

I normally don’t post images that feature the cliche of the domme staring into the camera while also engaging in a scene. I understand the idea – allowing the viewer to feel engaged with the domme while also enjoying the activity – but the images always feel very fake and disconnected to me. They emphasize the presence of the photographer and reduce the D/s chemistry.

I’m going to make an exception for this image. Firstly, because his expression and that little raise of his left leg is very cute. Secondly, because I imagine her expression is less a fake stare down, and more a sense of pride.  She’s totally pulling off her look and also nailing his ass. I’m not left thinking how fake it seems, but more that she’s proud of delivering a great moment on camera.

I believe this is from the Shadow Lane site.

Skew

I’m going to outsource today’s post to Ferns and her post on ‘Balance in F/m Voices‘. I think it’s an excellent analysis of an important topic, so go check it out if you haven’t already.

I realize outsourcing a post makes me seem like a slacker of a blogger, with no original thoughts. All of which is true. But in my defense, I do worry about the skew to femdom that the pro-domme industry creates, and Ferns does a great job of articulating the problem from a lifestyle domme’s perspective. I’ve posted about this in the past, and I’m still no closer to resolving the issues I raised then.  I can only keep trying to draw clear distinctions and promote non-professional views whenever I get the chance.

I believe this is from a fashion shoot by Karl Largerfeld.

Checklists

Writing yesterday’s post about bucket lists reminded me of another type of list – the BDSM checklist. If you’re not familiar with the concept it’s basically a quick and easy way to build a list of activities that you’re interested in exploring or absolutely want to avoid. Typically they’re used as an aid to negotiating a scene, but I also like them to give me new ideas or reminders of things I haven’t tried for a while.

Back in the day – when kinksters had to get up half an hour before they went to bed and pay mill owner for privilege to come to work – you’d actually print out a list and mark off interests. These days you can build and share a profile online, no dead trees or leaky pens needed. For example, somebody recently sent me a link to the Kinkomatic site, which seems to have a pretty comprehensive list of activities, as well as a fairly slick interface for creating, sharing and finding lists. You can read more about it via their FAQ. Alternatively, if you’d rather go with an old school approach, there are plenty of  basic activities lists online you can search for (e.g. this one has 256 entries).

Talking of old school – this magazine cover would certainly qualify. Presumably this gentleman ticked 36 (chains), 40 (choking) and 134 (leather clothing) from this list. However, I don’t see any options for ‘wearing hideous y-fronts’ or ‘roleplaying being a really bad actor’.  No matter how long the list, it seems there are always a few popular kinks that get left off.