Fm – Page 113 – Femdom Resource

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about…

I had a pleasant surprise when browsing one of my favorite tumblrs recently. The site in question is the Happy BDSM one, and the pleasant surprise was that the owner had reposted the text from one of my posts. Image reposts aren’t uncommon, but to see my text posted was unusual. I say it was a pleasant surprise, but my initial response was actually to be puzzled. For just a moment or two I wasn’t sure what I was reading. I knew I’d seen it somewhere before, but couldn’t quite put my finger on where…

The purpose of mentioning all this isn’t to brag (well, maybe a little), but to make an observation on the brilliance of the tumblr design philosophy. I spotted three different bits of my writing reblogged to the tumblr (also here and here). My original posts generated a grand total of 3 comments from my readers (for which I’m grateful). The three reposts to tumblr generated a total of 208 notes (either likes or reblogs). That’s a 70x increase in feedback over the originals, and I think that’s mainly down to how tumblr lowers the barriers to sharing and participation. Writing a comment on someone else’s blog can sometimes feel like an intrusion into their space, where reblogging on tumblr feels more like a compliment delivered in you own space.

Following the theme of happy BDSM, here’s a lady enjoying herself. His expression isn’t all that clear, but I like to think he’s smiling under there.

I’m afraid I have no original source for this image. Anyone pondering the post title should take a look at this.

Day & Night

Courtesy of this Huffington Post article I discovered this photographic series by Forest McMullin. Entitled Day & Night, it features pairs of photographs with kinksters in their daily life and then dressed for play.

The article itself is kind of a silly one. It has a sense of wonder and surprise that kinky people can have ‘normal’ daily lives. I get the feeling the author expected BDSM aficionados to spend their days dressed in leather or crawling around on all fours. Rather than a ‘Hey, normal people can be kinky!’ message it ends up being a “Wow, some normal people are secretly freaks!” one.

As for the photographs, I do like the variety of people they show. Photographs peeking inside kinky lifestyles are nothing new, but shooting pro-dommes in New York or inside trendy fetish clubs in LA is one thing, shooting regular folk from Georgia is a little different. I just wish the settings had been, for want of a better expression, slightly less porn-y. Most shots feature dungeon equipment or fancy toys. I get that makes for a better contrast to the ‘daily life’ shot, but I’m not sure it’s representative of a lot of kinky people. Some pervertibles from Home Depot and less in the way of fetish wear might have made for more realistic and quirky shots.

That said, I have to say I particularly enjoyed the shots of Adriana, Dea, Suzina & Tim, and Kim-Lady_Hotchkiss (shown below).

You can see the full set of photographs in this flickr stream.

Spanking as an orientation

This post brings you pointers to a couple of articles by the writer Jillian Keenan. Neither are specifically femdom, but I think they’re interesting and relevant to kinky people in general.

The first is an old one from 2012 on how she came to terms with and shared her spanking fetish. I’m sure anyone with a deeply buried and unfulfilled fetish will be able to relate to her predicament. I only wish everyone could resolve their issues with their partners as neatly as she seems to.

The second is a recent article in Slate on the topic of Is Kink a Sexual Orientation?. This is a well trodden path and there has been much prior writing on it. For example, I featured this by Clarisse Thorn in a previous post. While the topic might not be a new one, I think Jillian has put together one of the better articles on it.

I’ll probably throw together some more thoughts on the orientation topic tomorrow, but for now I’ll finish with a spanking image. Given that Jillian is a spankophile that seemed appropriate. However, it’s not exactly a traditional spanking shot, given the area being targeted.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this image.

A captured moment

There are a lot of naked body parts and kinky toys on display here. The butt plug, chastity device and gag makes for a nice kinky combo. However, what really makes the image work for me is that shared look and her hand on his jaw. It’s a nice instance of connection that sparks the imagination. Without capturing those kind of moments you’re just let with some random naked bodies and an arbitrary collection of metal, plastic and leather devices.

I found this on the equally deep in your eyes tumblr. There’s no attribution or watermark, but it looks awfully like a Divine Bitches shot to me.

The insidious shades

Ragging on 50 Shades of Grey is nothing new. I’ve done it often enough in the past, the mainstream press has done it, and over at Pervocracy Cliff has turned mocking it into something of an art form. Yet it wasn’t till I read this article by Jennifer Hanks that I realized how insidious its influence was.

She worked as a editor on erotic romance novels when 50 Shades first took off, and the article describes how it set a new template for that genre. Suddenly every hero was an abusive asshole with no idea of consensual play and every heroine an insecure virgin with no experience of BDSM. My job has its fair share of less than fun moments, but having to spend 8 hours a day reading endless 50 shades knocks offs that are actually worse than the original, well that must be hell. Particularly when the publisher doesn’t allow any variation on the theme…

By the time I leave my job — I’ve gotten into graduate school — we explicitly don’t accept books with female Dommes for any of our regular imprints. I imagine making a t-shirt that says DOMME on it in all caps and wearing it to work every single fucking day I have left.

I never realized how much that one book had influenced erotic fiction. Eventual its effect must wane, but until then we’re left with not just a horribly written trilogy, but a distorted marketplace for all kinky writing.

For an accompanying image I thought I’d go with something fun, sexy and clearly consensual. i.e. The opposite of 50 shades. This beautiful artwork by Yumine Guo is a perfect fit.

Paging Sigmund

I’m not really sure what erotic niche this image should be placed into. I just know I like it. I guess it’s kind of CFNM, although there’s not a whole lot of C involved. Naked males are common enough in my posted images. Naked males wearing flip flops and a cock leash in the desert are more unusual, but not totally strange. But pun based domme outfits? I think that might be a first.

This looks like a burning man scene, but I’m afraid I’ve no firm information on where this was taken and who is in the picture.

In the tank

Here’s my final water themed post for the foreseeable future. Seattle has now returned to its traditional rain and, more significantly, I’ve run out of interesting water images to feature.

I like this combination of heavy chains and water. There’s a nice duality to the idea of chains as both bondage and a weight pulling him under. The big glass tank is also pretty cool. I really think kinky porn studios should invest more in unusual equipment and visual impressive scenes. Regular movies range from intimate character driven dramas through to crazy over-the-top special effect extravaganzas. In contrast most porn is somewhere between an Adam Sandler comedy and a Will Ferrell comedy. i.e. Middle of the road crap to middle of the road occasionally good. I’m not going to hold my breath for the porn version of a Jim Jarmusch movie, but surely creating a visually striking Luc Besson equivalent is not beyond the wit of a big kink studio.

This is obviously a Divine Bitches shoot. I believe it feature Wolf Hudson and Mistress Isis. It’s not often you see a swimmer’s nose clip in a porn shoot.

Bobbing for apples

It continues to be about eleventeen bajillion degrees in Seattle (apologies if my highly scientific terms are too confusing). It has also been a couple of weeks since I did anything kinky. Or at least anything kinky involving another person. Having my portable fan topple onto the bed when I was jerking off almost qualified as CBT, but coming close to inadvertent circumcision by domestic appliance isn’t really a fetish of mine.

This excess of heat and dearth of kink is making me antsy and grouchy. I realize there are now many kink deprived readers from hot parts of the world cursing at their monitors after having read that. As problems go it’s not the worst one to have, but it’s my blog, and I’ll whine if I want to.

As for posts, I’m therefore maintaining the hunt for cool refreshing femdom. This one from Divine Bitches is an intriguing but odd image. I like the fountain, but why the head first dunk? He looks like he’s playing the old Halloween game of bobbing for apples. Perhaps she has thrown his chastity key in there?

I found this on the Femdom Times site.

A refreshing dip

It’s insanely warm in Seattle right now. At least by the local standards. My apartment temperature control claims it’s 83F, and that’s at 2:30 in the morning. So while this image might typically be seen to be an intense type of breathplay, right now to me it looks like a very refreshing dip. I could really use someone shoving my head into an icy tub of water.

As the not particularly subtle watermark suggests, this is from Mistress Kawa. She’s a Spanish based Mistress. I found it via the Felm Cyber tumblr.

My Mistress

On the continuing topic of movies, although in a less family friendly vein, is a new Australian feature entitled My Mistress. It stars Harrison Gilbertson as a troubled teenage boy and Emmanuelle Béart as the beautiful dominatrix who lives down the street. I haven’t seen any reviews for it yet, but you can watch the trailer here.

Much as I enjoy seeing Emmanuelle Béart in tight latex and high heeled boots, it’s a shame the dominatrix tropes are so inextricably woven into the idea of domination and kink. It’d be nice to see a movie where kink and femdom wasn’t tied to professional dominance, and where the leading lady didn’t look like she’d be equally at home playing catwoman. Despite all that, the movie does look like an interesting one to watch out for.