Vulnerability Coach

This lovely image of Shibari suspension comes courtesy of the twitter feed of Rina Trevi. You can find another two equally beautiful images of similar play from her here and here.

If Rina looks familiar to you, it’s because she used to work as a pro-domme in NYC under the name Renee Trevi. As a domme she always had a very thoughtful approach to her play (you can find some of her older writing captured here) but, as she documented via this instagram post, she eventually had enough of the hyper-sexualized pro-domme role.

Her new practice is as a vulnerability coach, offering “…counseling and journeys into self-discovery and spiritual illumination.” Services offered include surrender sessions, integrative coaching, tantric BDSM and pro-domme mentorship. It’s impossible for me to neatly summarize her practice, so I’d definitely recommend checking out her site.

You can see more from Rina via her twitter feed or instagram account.

Harder or Softer?

A question for masochists and sadists whose play has been curtailed by the virus: What do you think this enforced absence and isolation has done to your desire to inflict or absorb pain? Does the lack of play have you craving intense beatings and no holds barred sadism? Or has the stress and strangeness of it all left you wanting intimacy and more gentle activities?

My impression from kinky social media is that the sadists amongst us (God bless them) are craving hard play. They have pent up energy to expend and can’t wait to unleash it. The general attitude of masochists is harder to read. I’m personally unsure where my headspace is at. I’d love to play again. I miss it desperately. I’m just not sure if I’m craving pain or not. The world is so weird, and my stress levels so distorted, I really have no idea how I’ll respond when I can session again. That’s a unique state of mind for me, but I guess we’re all living through a unique situation.

This is an old image from OWK. She clearly wasn’t in a conflicted state of mind about her sadistic tendencies. Hopefully he felt the same way from the masochistic perspective.

Sparkles

Here’s a final image in my short series of electricity themed posts. This one is very different both in appearance and the associated physical sensation. The estim and TENS devices from the past posts are visual unspectacular and feel exactly like you’d expect them to. They deliver a sharp muscle contracting pulse of pain. A violet wand, like the one from the image below, looks and feels like no other toy. It’s a hot prickly crackly sensation. There’s a fabulous sound and a smell of singed hair and ionized air. It’s not the most intense toy you can use, but it is the only one that 9 out of 10 mad scientists would recommend.

This image is from Mistress Renee’s twitter feed. You can find videos of her scenes via her clips store.

Remote Fun

After writing my previous post, it struck me that someone must already have come up with a remote control e-stim device. It’s an obvious idea and of course they do exist. For example, here’s one from the estim company (official site here). It’s a lot more expensive than your average dog shock collar, but it also has a lot more features and should avoid that whole pesky business of frying your nerve endings. With the addition of some suitable attachment straps, I don’t see any reason you couldn’t use it for the same kind of play.

Updated: There’s also this one from ErosTek. Similarly pricey, but looks like a great toy for remote controlled fun.

These two images from the Men are Slaves site shows a couple having fun with what looks like a remote estim.

An Unpleasant Shock

Anyone who has been intrigued by the idea of playing with shock collars might want to check out this article on them. Apparently they’re not a particularly safe way to combine kink, discipline and electricity. I’ve heard dommes joke that they’d never use them on their dog but they’re fine for a submissive. Given the widespread love of animals in the domme community that’s not too surprising, but maybe it’s time to discard the use of these collars entirely.

Searching around turns up a number of devices that are allegedly designed for human use, but it’s hard to tell exactly how safe they are. That makes me think there’s a gap for in the market here for one of the reputable e-stim companies. They already have the expertise, the hardware and the branding. Just build something that can be attached to a different part of the body and has a remote control. A lot of the e-stim devices are already pretty portable, so it wouldn’t take a lot of adaption.

This domme seems like the caring sort. Obviously she can’t have read the article in question. Captioning comes courtesy of the always creative Servitor.

Pegging Across State Lines

Social distancing requirements have thrown up a lot of complex questions for kinky people who play with those outside their social bubble. Should you wear masks? Does it even help to wear a mask if you’re inside and in close proximity for hours? Should you tailor activities to minimize face to face contact? What period should you leave between play partners? These are challenging issues to navigate.

Fortunately, for at least the pegging lovers, there might be a simple answer to these questions. Somebody out there thought long and hard about all these problems and came up with this, the socially distanced strap-on. No need for glory holes or hazmat suits. Now you can peg someone from across the room. Possibly even from the next room.

I thought at first this was a joke, but there’s actually an indiegogo project for it. For anyone into infeasibly long fake dongs, and who doesn’t feel like duct taping a dildo to a broom handle, this might be just what you’re looking for.

Pegging Pleasure

For the longest time I didn’t understand why dommes liked pegging. I was grateful they did, but very hung-up on the comparison with regular PIV sex from the male perspective. A dildo doesn’t have nerve endings in it, so why is it a fun thing to wield?

I’m afraid to say that several years passed before the penny dropped. Most BDSM activities don’t result in direct physical pleasure for the top. Whether it’s bondage or caning, piercing or sounding, the pleasure for the top is far more complicated than nice friction at a good spot. It’s about control, feedback, invasion, responsiveness, reactions and emotions. Pegging framed through a simple male perspective of pleasure seemed odd. Seen in the spectrum of other BDSM activities, as a way to play with pleasure, pain and control, it makes total sense. Realizing that actually made me enjoy it more from the submissive perspective. It felt less selfish to indulge in.

I mention all this because of this twitter thread, featuring a number of dommes posting their love of pegging. The image below is taken from it, featuring Lady Valeska. I love her relaxed, confident and in control attitude that comes through in this shot.

Lady Valeska is a London based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Relax with a Devilish Domme

Continuing with the theme of gaming and virtual experiences, the deviant.tech company has launched something they call the Devilish Domina Therapeutic Domming experience. It’s a VR experience designed to allow you to relax and release stress. According to this dailydot article on it,

Players sit or lie down with a curvy Devil Girl who helps the player relax with love, care, and deep breaths. The session continues until the player stands up, after which they can play again if they’d like. There are no commands, no rules to follow, no movements required by the player.

I’m not sure I like the use of ‘therapeutic’ in its title. That word has a particular meaning which seems beyond the scope of this project. Also, on a personal level, a red devil girl would not be my first choice for a calming presence. However, I do admire the goal of releasing stress by combining VR, kink and the aftercare elements of BDSM. Given what a fucking nightmare of a year 2020 has turned out to be, anything to help people relax and unwind is welcome. Particularly given this is being offered for free.

Assuming you have the necessary equipment, you can download the experience here. Alternative, if you’d like something a little less relaxing and a more typical kink focused experience, you can try their Dominatrix Simulator.

Animal Crossing

One winner from worldwide quarantine seems to have been the Nintendo game Animal Crossing. It’s not only been a big mainstream hit, but also a hit in the kinky community. I’ve seen an amazing number of dommes in my social media feed talking about playing it and involving their subs in helping them. I thought that was just my particular slice of the kinky world, but then I came across this Vice article and this Wired article. People are even figuring out ways to connect sex toys up to it.

I find it amusing that it’s a Nintendo game that has triggered this kind of response. They’re the ultimately kid friendly gaming company. Sega and Sony were always more edgy, and PCs  the Wild West frontier. I guess it’s a sign that people will always be attracted to a high quality well designed product and then, once you’ve attracted them, people will always try and pervert it.

Personally, I’m an old school PC RPG fan. The kind of games where you start off killing rats in a grumpy villagers cellar, spend many hours in what’s basically a fancy spreadsheet in a nice frock, and finish by taking on the local God to stop the world being sucked into hell. There is probably an interesting post to write on the contrast between dommes liking fun collaborative social games and submissives like myself wanting to micromanage the hell out of wizards and clerics in a single player fantasy game. Unfortunately, this isn’t that post.

I believe this is from the artist Mosbles7.