Femdom Resource – Page 226 – The beauty of dominant women

Me not think too good

It has been a long day. I did an intense and very enjoyable session with Cynthia Stone on the afternoon and followed it with an excellent dinner at Spago. I’m certainly not complaining, but my ability to write coherent and witty posts may have been curtailed. Not that there was ever a great potential there to start with.

While I attempt to sleep off this cocktail of adrenalin, endorphins and alcohol, I’ll leave you with a shot I found on the wonderfully named Food, Fucking and Femdom tumblr. That’s pretty much my favorite three things in life. In this particular case I love the blurred cane and the well marked ass.

Definition of kinky

After yesterday’s celebrity post I figured I’d follow up with another kinky Hollywood story. I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but it seemed appropriate given I’m in the area. I assumed kinky stories about Hollywood celebrities would be a dime a dozen and therefore easy to find.

However, I was amazed to discover that in the celebrity gossip world, kinky = homosexual. Or at least that seemed to be the case based on my search engine investigations. Any ‘kinky’ story in the news always seemed to involve a same sex hook-up. Technically the definition of kinky means ‘unusual sexual behavior’, which I guess could cover homosexuality by some usages of ‘unusual’, but that seems pretty outdated to me. I can only assume the celebrity gossip is still stuck in the 80’s when it comes to sexuality. Gay women are titillating, gay men are outrageous and anything more risque than that should not be mentioned.

The image is by Ellen Von Unwerth from series she titled Revenge.

All the latest celebrity gossip

I don’t typically read tabloid showbiz stories or celebrity news. However, maybe it’s the influence of LA rubbing off on me, but this gossipy story about Olivia Wilde caught my eye today. She took her fiance Jason Sudeikis to a strip club and…

There, a witness told us, “Olivia booked the private champagne room with two dancers. She took Jason inside, and while he wasn’t allowed to touch the dancers, she could touch them.”

That sounds like a particularly entertaining form of tease and denial. Two dancers and Olivia Wilde, and he can’t touch? That’s deliciously evil.

Normally I’d accompany this post with a nice tease and denial femdom image. Unfortunately my hotel internet connection is following the standard law of hotel bandwidth – the nicer the hotel the crappier the internet connection. Surfing sites for a good image to use is therefore far too painful, and I’ll simply settle for a shot of the beautiful Ms Wilde herself.

The mystery of the disappearing dildo

I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books, but a reverse image search tells me this is fan art featuring two of the characters – Harry and Ginny. Presumably she’s showing him her latest magic trick. Using just an ordinary school tie and a completely conventional strap-on harness, she can make her magic wand disappear completely from view. It’s a neat trick, but I’m going to bet that Harry has a fair idea where she has hidden it.

I’m afraid I don’t know the original artist. I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr (originally larger version available here).

The safeword is lawyer

I’m taking a few days vacation in LA. Posting may therefore suffer due to this. I have got some kinky fun lined up, so hopefully there will be some interesting session photographs to share at some point.

In the meantime I’ll leave you with this thought provoking story featuring a financial domme who got jailed for blackmail. Essentially the scene was pushed to a point that the submissive preferred to contact the police rather than pay the 6000 euros necessary to escape it. Given the limited details available it’s hard to know who exactly was at fault. Was this the equivalent of a client negotiating a light spanking and then alleging assault when he received a heavy beating? Or the equivalent of negotiating a heavy beating and then alleging assault when he was given exactly that?

I’m on record as not being a fan of financial domination, and my concerns about a ‘duty of care’ do seem to be born out with this case. If someone was willing to risk the shame and humiliation of exposing their kink to the world, they must have been pushed well beyond their limits, and that suggests the dommes really weren’t paying attention to their clients well-being. But as I said, it’s hard to know what really happened without seeing more details. Given the lack of standing BDSM has within the law, the fact two people were jailed doesn’t necessarily mean they were entirely at fault.

The image comes courtesy of Femdom Times and this gallery. The site referenced in the watermark no longer seems to be active.

Guilt+Force=?

This is continuation of yesterday’s post on ‘force’ based scenes, originally triggered by this post by Stabbity. Reading those first will probably help this make more sense.

Force in a BDSM scene can undoubtedly be very hot. For one thing it suggests passion and emotion. As a submissive being on the receiving end of that is energizing. It’s hard to be forceful towards something you’re indifferent about. Force in a scene also brings in ideas of objectification and control. A lot of BDSM toys are about removing some element of control, whether that’s over motion, speech, sight or sphincter muscles. Force can be a further extension of that, removing the ability to control consent, albeit in a consensual non-consent kind of way.

I get all those aspects of force in a scene. The one associated aspect that does puzzle me is the idea of removing or shifting guilt. This came up in the comments to Stabbity’s post.

I also feel that the use of force enables a sub who is ashamed of a certain desire to experience it without guilt. I see it most frequently in regard to forced bi scenarios. The sub wants it but doesn’t want to admit (either to others or to himself) that he wants it. So by passing off the responsibility to the dom, he’s essentially free to indulge without worry. – roo-roo

This is a view I’ve seen expressed many times in the past, and I have to say I don’t get it. And I mean that in the ‘I personally don’t understand’ way, not in the ‘it’s wrong’ way. Can guilt be really shifted so easily? Mixing the complex emotions of a forced BDSM scene to a genuine sense of guilt sounds like a combustible emotional mix. If a traumatic childhood experience with a Salvation Army lady had left me with fetish for stealing from charity collection boxes, I’d (hopefully) feel very guilty about that. Would dragging a domme into my coin pilfering schemes make me feel any better? Can guilt be shared or even shifted like that? It seems such a reductive view of an emotion. Perhaps it depends on someone’s ability to compartmentalize and buy into their own stories and fantasies. Maybe if I roleplayed in scenes I’d understand this better.

As I said, it’s not an unusual or uncommon view on force in scenes, but it does leave me scratching my head. Perhaps the fact I’m not an emotional masochist may have something to do with that. While I ponder that, I’ll leave you with another fun piece of artwork, this by Kami Tora. Not quite as overtly physical as the Stanton drawings from yesterday, but it does have some nice hair pulling and forceful pegging.

Use the force

Stabbity has started an interesting discussion on ‘forced’ scenes over on her blog Not Just Bitchy. There are a lot of ideas worth digging into, both in the post and the comments. For the moment I’ll start with her basic idea, which is that the fantasy of being forced to submit (imagine quotes around that if you prefer) is partly a fantasy about submission and domination being easy. It removes the risk of screwing up on both sides of the D/s equation. I kind of get this from the dominant point of view, but I’m not so sure about the submissive side.

For a dominant there are always a lot of choices in a scene. Just picking up a bundle of rope raises issues of where to tie it, how tightly, what to attach it to, when to loosen it, etc. And that’s before anyone has even been hit, shocked, pierced or penetrated. Adding force into the mix adds a safety margin to decisions. It suggests that the scene isn’t primarily for the benefit of the submissive and therefore there’s less to get wrong. If that wasn’t enough warm-up for you or that penetration was a little rougher than you like, well that’s just tough. I’m forcing you to do it.

On the submissive side I’m more skeptical, because personally I don’t worry all that much about screwing up in a scene. That’s not to say I’m some perfect submissive. I worry about communication. I worry about the intensity I can take. I worry about getting a cramp after we’ve spent 30 minutes getting me bound in just the right position. I worry about a spider scuttling across my naked body when I can’t move. But all these things are just as much an issue in a forced scene. I’ll safeword out if a major limit is exceeded whatever the nature of the scene (particularly if arachnids have decided to crash the party). Similarly the quality of my communication isn’t affected by being forced. I worry about being a good or a bad submissive, but not typically about screwing up.

That’s not to say force doesn’t offer some interesting possibilities for the submissive, but I’ll save further thoughts for another post. In the meantime I’ll leave you with some artwork by Eric Stanton. He was always a great illustrator of powerful forceful women who could physically bully and dominate weaker men.

At least she has a smile on her face

It’s not completely clear what’s happening in this shot, but an educated guess would say it involves the gentleman’s ass. Presumably either something going in to it or something hitting it. Whatever the scenario, I do enjoy the contrasting expressions. There are a couple of very good grins to go along with his expressive grimace.

I found this on the Lash Kisser tumblr. I think it’s originally from the CFNM site.

Oxygen. An overrated luxury.

I’m not a big fan of social media. I’ve got accounts on things like facebook and twitter, but I never really use them. Mostly I don’t see the point. However, recently Lydia has started using the Vine application and for once I kind of get it. Having a friend tweet what they’re doing 160 characters or less seems pointless, but seeing a little video clip suddenly brings the whole thing to life. It’s information rich enough to be interesting while being short enough (6 seconds or less) to not require significant time investment.

I got to enjoy a great breathplay session with Lydia tonight and she tweeted two short Vine clips from it. One showing me in ropes and with a pillow over my head and one showing her and the plastic bag she was suffocating me with. I wouldn’t say they capture the session mood at all. That was a very positive, sensuous, shared experience that had me deep in subspace. In contrast these remind me of something from a horror movie. They’re the kind of clips the crazy serial killer sends the police to taunt them while torturing his latest victim. But for all that I do think they’re kind of fun. They’re easy to create and give a little taste of what’s going on in somebodies life.

For an accompanying image I wanted some sort of breathplay shot, but they’re surprisingly hard to find. In the end I had to raid some old femdom folders on my hard drive for the images below. I don’t have a source for them. I do know the young lady appears to be enjoying give her bound slave a good dunking.

That’s just not cricket

This series of images makes me smile for it’s cartoon like progression. The four shot sequence reminds me of an old photo booth filmstrip. However, I certainly wouldn’t recommend trying to reproduce it. Falling backwards like that onto your hands and arms like that would not be good. I think this is also the first time I’ve ever seen a cricket bat used in a BDSM shot. As implements go it’s probably a little heavy to use effectively, but it’s certainly fearsome.

The female model is Lorelei and the photographer is Titus Powell. As you’d expect given the sporting equipment, they’re both UK based.