Never interview naked

I thought this was an interesting article on how we intellectually react to an image of someone naked. The simplistic view is that we objectify them, treating them as less than human. The article claims that it’s more complicated than that, and that while we do consider them less intelligent, we also think they’re more sensitive.

In one experiment … the photo showed either just the head or also the shirtless torso. When presented shirtless, targets were seen as having less competence. This is just what you might expect from research on objectification: we’re easily induced to see others as mere objects, pieces of meat without thoughts of their own. But it wasn’t that simple. Shirtless targets weren’t seen as devoid of all thought. They were actually seen as being more capable of emotions and sensations than their less exposed selves. They didn’t have less mental life but a different mental life.

They even used Timothy Greenfield-Sanders Porn-Star Portraits book in one experiment and found that varying the sexuality of the pose simply moved people along the lower-competence/higher-sensitivity curve. True objectification never actually occurred.

Given that all the personal images posted on this blog feature a naked me, I can only assume my readers think I’m a delicate and emotional creature, who is thicker than a whale omelette. This also has interesting implications for the CFNM fetish. Often that’s treated as a power dynamic or a humiliation scene. I now wonder if there’s also a degree of subconscious role reversal in it for some men. Cultural cliches categorize women as emotional and men as intellectual.  Based on the above finding, CFNM images would reverse that broken stereotype.

Walkies!

I thought this image (found on homer’s blog) was an appropriate one to use for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s obviously a CFNM shot. But it’s also an animal roleplay, and that seems to align with the intellectual/sensitive split. We don’t think of animals as competent. Nobody expects their dog to balance the household accounts or fix that leaky tap in the guest bathroom. But we do assign a lot of emotional attributes to pets. Dogs are seen as particularly dumb but sensitive, which is apparently much like our views on naked humans.

Bloggy thoughts

I found writing yesterday’s post updating the blog page a touch depressing. Not because of the blogs that I listed, but because of the small number I had.

Whenever I find a potential blog to add (via comments, emails, blogrolls, etc) I bookmark it and keep an eye on it. My criteria for inclusion is pretty simple. It has to be something I want to read. It has to make an effort to spell and punctuate correctly. It has to be updated occasionally. Nothing more than that. Yet so many fail, and almost always on the third criteria. I had around a dozen or so blogs to look at, and when I came to update my page most had either been deleted or become dormant. It’s the same story when I look at people’s blogrolls. Most blogrolls are full of blogs that have ceased to be, are bereft of life and rest in peace. Clearly even the blogroll owners aren’t even looking at them.

There are plenty of articles giving advice on how to write a successful blog, and I’m not going to repeat them here. However, I will make two points that seem particularly relevant to kink blogs, as there’s a couple of pitfalls I regularly see kinky bloggers stumble into.

Firstly, if you want a long lived blog, don’t begin by writing enormously long posts. Every blogging guide suggests posting frequently, and long posts are anathema to that. I think most kinky people get so few chances to express themselves openly that starting a blog triggers a rush of writing. They’re very excited to be sharing a secret part of themselves and want to get all these important hidden thoughts out to the world. Unfortunately a huge wall of text is not great for attracting readers. More importantly, it associates a high cost to writing posts. Once that initial thrill has faded, the thought of continuing to update at that same level of posting is very off-putting. Rather than switch to a more manageable post style, a lot of bloggers simply give up.

Secondly, come up with a variety of post styles that you can switch between. Writing very personal posts about your experiences and relationships is great. And if your life is a continuous whirl of crazy people doing extreme things in unusual places then that’s probably all you need. But for most of us, even those with kinky personal lives, it’s tough to continuously sustain a personal storyline that’s blog-worthy. Great writers can make any situation interesting, the rest of us need a little help from the subject matter. Personally I have a grab bag of post styles I pick from, which I mentally categorize as: Pretty picture, mainstream idiocy, interesting article, my kinky play, BDSM politics, thought for the day, etc. Having those existing mental templates for posts makes regular blogging much easier. There’s no reason anyone should follow my mix of post topics, but blogs that stick purely to ‘my kinky play’ as their subject matter do seem to have the shortest lives.

I’ll finish with a picture of a typical femdom blogger in action. I’m sure all the best posts are written this way. Don’t burst my bubble and tell me otherwise.

Blogging

I found this image on the Her Butler tumblr. I think it’s a particularly apt one to use, as I’m pretty certain the blogger in question is Ms Marie. For a time she wrote a really excellent femdom blog which featured a lot of shots from her personal life. Sadly, as is often the way of blogs, one day it just vanished with no explanation. The images of her and her husband still pop up on tumblrs from time to time, and they always make me smile. Whatever she’s doing now, I hope all is going well for her.

Updates to femdom blogs page

Today was the turn of the femdom blogs page to receive some housekeeping. I deleted a few blogs that died, tweaked the blog list on the right, and added the following new entries…

Hopefully there will be a few interesting links and posts there for readers.

The image below doesn’t have a direct connection with any of the blogs. They just looked like a couple having some kinky femdom fun, and that’s something I wish for all my fellow themed bloggers and readers.

Bondage and Laughter

The image is originally from the Tightly Tied site. I found if via the Kink on Wheels tumblr.

Fashion victim

I’m back in freezing Seattle after my jaunt down the coast to California. From a food and friends perspective the trip was a storming success. If you’re in LA and looking for great restaurants I’d strongly recommend Scratch Bar, Ink and hinoki & the bird. They were the three standouts of all those I tried.

From a kinky perspective it wasn’t quite as successful. The original person I planned to see had a scheduling conflict and we never could quite align our calendars. Then my alternative choice turned out to be sick and unable to play. At that point, rather than ringing around for a last minute beating, I decided it simply wasn’t meant to be. Instead I went clothes shopping in Beverly Hills. That’s an entirely different level of masochism. The sales assistants might not dress in leather, but they can certainly inflict punishment. I got a figurative screwing that was more expensive than a literal one. Although at least I ended up taking more home than a sore bottom.

The topic of clothes and fashion does give me an excuse to feature some fashion based femdom. This is for voodoo hosiery and taken from their 2010 ad campaign.

Voodoo Hosiery

Talking over a bear

This rather intriguing artwork is by the artist Waldemar-Kazak. It’s called ‘Talking over a bear’ and you can see the original full size version over on his Deviant Art page. I’m not exactly sure what the story is behind it. There’s a very 50’s feel to it, an edge of melancholy created by his expression and a weird sexy vibe (at least in my strange brain). It looks like it should be an illustration for a twisted short story in something like the New Yorker.

Talking Over A Bear

I originally came across this in the Femdomarts tumblr.

Get a grip

Apologies for the short post. I’m having fun at a friend’s 40th’s birthday party. Drinking, eating, and stories of the ‘oh my God you didn’t!’ variety are on the menu. Time for blogging is limited. Time for sober blogging is almost non-existent. The best I can offer is images that catch my eye. I’ll therefore leave you with something that isn’t overtly femdom,  but has a strong femdom vibe to it. She looks like someone with a firm handle on the situation.

Good Grip

I found this image via the In A Humbler tumblr.

Airline femdom

After this post Servitor quite rightly took me to task for having no good examples of airline femdom. He cited the NOFX track S&M airlines (great band, but not their best track), the artwork of the brilliant Sardax and his own particular riffs on the theme.

All these are fine examples, but I think he’s missing one of the best, albeit most subtle ones. That would be the Delta safety video featuring the stewardess who is definitely not a fan of smoking. I’m sure that many a submissive flyer felt a delightful inner quiver when she did her finger wag (around 1:50 in the video).

I’d always assumed she was an actress hired to film the video, but it turns out she’s a Delta flight attendant who has continued to work as one. That’s particularly impressive given how many delta flyers must have asked her for a personal reprise of her starring role.

Deltina

Shout-out to ‘control. gone bad’

One tumblr I particularly want to highlight from my image page update is ‘Control gone bad‘. It’s unusual in that it’s the tumblr source for all its post, and all the posts are animated gifs. It’s not exactly originally content, given everything is taken from movies published elsewhere, but it definitely adds more value than tumblrs that only consist of reblogged jpgs from other tumblrs.

I’m a fan on animated gifs, despite the fact I don’t feature them here. That’s purely down to page load times and bandwidth costs rather than an aesthetic judgement. I actually think that a short focused animated gif can be more interesting than the original movie it’s from. It’s a distillation process that can capture an idea while providing enough wiggle room for the viewer to project his or her fantasy into it. The owner of the bad controls tumblr certainly does a good job of picking the right moments from otherwise average movies.

It’s kind of tough to feature an appropriate image here, given the aforementioned load time and bandwidth issues. So checkout the tumblr itself or click on the still below for a post I particularly enjoyed.

Laughing Domme

Life lessons

I learned an important lesson today – never fly close to a holiday weekend if you can possibly avoid it. Based on the number of infants on the plane I was on, Monday is obviously a popular day for families to return home after Thanksgiving. I counted 6 toddlers and babies just in the few rows of seats around me. I might be a masochist, but being stuck at 30,000 feet with a gaggle of screaming kids is a level of torment too far. Beat me. Burn me. Bind Me. Fuck me. Just don’t make me sit in coach with unhappy children. I tried to safeword out, but the stewardess obviously didn’t understand me when I kept shouting ‘Red! Red!’

Anyway, as that introduction may have suggested, I’m on vacation again. This time down in Los Angeles hoping to catch some warm weather, good food and kinky fun. So far this place has delivered on the amazing food, and hopefully it’s just a matter of time for the other two. As usual while I’m on vacation, blogging may be a touch erratic, so apologies in advance for that.

I’m not aware of any airline based femdom, so instead I’ll go with the food theme. I found this image (or a version of it) via another of the new blogs from yesterday – Domination on My terms.

Cooking

Updates to femdom image page

As you might guess from the title, I’ve done some housecleaning and additions to the femdom image page. Any sites that were dead, dormant or drifting off topic have been removed. I’ve been a little more brutal about that than in the past in an effort to try and keep the list length reasonable. I’ve added the following sites:

Hopefully there is a little something in there for everyone. The image below comes via the equally deep in your eyes tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution, so please leave a comment if you know the original source.

Bound and Teased