Femdom Resource – Page 218 – The beauty of dominant women

The gift that keeps on giving

Stabbity recently put up a post on the well worn expression – “The gift of submission”. This crops up fairly regularly in D/s discussions and I think it’s fair to say that Stabbity is not a fan. She doesn’t like the mismatch between the D/s dynamic and the cultural assumptions that come with a gift. For example, it’s rude to take back a gift, but entirely correct to take back submission should that be desirable and/or necessary.

I agree with her general point, but also dislike the expression as it’s commonly used for a different reason. To me it always seems to have an element of hypocrisy. A gift is given primarily for the benefit of the recipient. I’m not going to give someone a bottle of wine and then expect to be able to drink half of it. Yet submission is almost always about meeting personal needs. Obviously one always wants to do that in a mutually beneficial relationship, but it’s rarely a case of being singularly beneficial for the sake of the domme. In fact, of all the situations where the enjoyment is unevenly distributed, I’d bet that the vast majority skew to favor the submissive. Beating a kinky partner when you’re not really into it is being GGG. Beating an unwilling partner because you’re kinky is abuse.

Despite all these problems, I would like to reclaim or recast the expression. For me when I think about the gift of submission, I think about it being a gift to myself. I’m not sure how I ended up wired as both kinky and submissive, but I do now appreciate that it happened. For many years I compartmentalized that side of myself, treating it as something distinct from who I actually was. Acknowledging it and incorporating it into my life certainly hasn’t made my life simpler, but has made it far richer and more interesting.

In contrast to the standard usage of the phrase, which paints submission in an altruistic light, I’ve often been tempted to see it as a selfish trait. That it’s a flaw in me that will put additional demands on a partner. Thinking of it as something that I’ve been given, as a gift that gives me unusual yet desirable characteristics (plus a rich source of NSFW anecdotes), helps me fight that negative view. It’s not quite a superpower, but it can be a complex-yet-beneficial power.

The image is by JSV Photography. He has a blog here, including this entry on the above photograph. He also has an eBook of bondage for those of you into beautiful women in rope. I originally found the image on the Redhead with a Riding Crop tumblr.

Strange but true

It’s not often that I run across a new kink I haven’t heard of. Many wasted hours on the stranger parts of the internet have left me distressingly well informed about unusual kinks. However, courtesy of this Max Fisch thread, I’ve a new one to add. It’s called slaughtering or pig-play and, as far as I can tell, it means pretending to be a pig while the domme acts out a fake slaughtering process.

I guess I was aware of cannibalism being a kink in itself (thanks to the infamous Armin Meiwes case) but hadn’t realized it was actually something people role-played in scenes. I’ve never seen it offered by a US or British pro-domme, but apparently it’s not unheard of for German ones to do so. I assume something about that culture lends itself to the development of this particular kink. Perhaps raising pigs and butchering them are a more common part of the childhood experience than they are over here.

Personally the idea leaves me absolutely cold. I’ll certainly not be incorporating it into any of my future scenes. However, I’m always happy to expand my knowledge on the odder corners of the kinky world.

The image is of Mistress Kristin. She’s a German pro-domme who offers pig-play.

Extraordinary aim

This is kind of a screwed up image. It’s by German Jim and, like a lot of his work, has a composite feel to it. The vintage drawing seems to have been married with a photograph for the face.

However, artist techniques aside, what’s really odd is the aim of the lady. I’ve done a number of GS scenes and, to be frank, women are not the best aimers in the world. They don’t have the pipework for it. If they can hit my mouth, from a few inches away, seven out of ten times, then I consider myself ahead of the game. Hitting the target from a standing position while staring in a different direction and wearing a big skirt, well that’s a goddam miracle. I’m blessed with better aiming equipment, and I couldn’t pull this shot off. This lady should pee for the Olympics.

Pegging praise

The origin and subject of this artwork is a little obscure. It’s signed as ‘Faun Songs’, which would seem to map to this deviant art account, although I can’t see it in the gallery there. It started out on a similarly named tumblr, although I found it on the Vengeful Goddess tumblr. I believe it’s fan art of two characters from a webcomic called Homestuck, which I’ve never heard of before but is apparently fairly big in its own way.

Whatever the source and inspiration, I like it a lot. There’s a real warmth to both their interaction and the style with which the drawing has been rendered. The hand around the throat and the murmured expression of praise are also nice touches that really make the scene work.

Two for the price of one

I’m not strictly sure who this image is targeted at. There’s an element of wrestling to it. That clearly looks like a victory posture. There’s also an element of foot fetishism to it. He’s certainly getting a good whiff of her feet. Perhaps it works well for both of those groups.

Personally none of those particular fetishes light my fire, but I do like the image. It makes my smile because it’s just so contrived. I can just imagine everyone involved laughing and having fun with it while posing for these shots.

I believe this is from the Foot On Face site. I originally found it on the Femdom Marriage tumblr.

A helicopter ride

Anytime I go to San Francisco I try and schedule time with Domina Yuki. We’ve played together several times in the past (for example – here or here) and it has always been a great experience. This time was no exception.

I actually ended up having back to back sessions, with Domina Ai-Li on the first day (as mentioned here) and Domina Yuki on the second. Giving my body almost no time to recover was possibly an unwise move, but I’m nothing if not masochistic. They’d apparently collaborated before I arrived on who got what body part to attack, but I’m not sure they strictly stuck to their agreed zones. I certainly wasn’t about to start pointing out to the nice lady with the whip where she should or shouldn’t hit me.

We managed to grab a few fun photographs. This image shows me with a collection of attached clothespins. Having Mistress Yuki slide her body against mine with these in place was a particularly painful but sensuous torture. The more I pushed back the more it hurt, and yet the better it felt. This image shows a close-up of the CBT bondage. It’s not particularly painful, unless some sadist decides to repeatedly flick the delicate exposed bits of flesh.

I got to experience a cattle-prod for the first time, as shown here. It was an unusual sensation – sharp and intense but brief. It convulsed the muscle, kicking me forward, but didn’t create a deep lasting pain. We also did some bastinado, as shown in this image. That really does create a deep pain. Each part of the foot reacts differently, with sharper immediate pain on the boney parts and deep aches on the more muscled sections.

When it came time to remove the genital bondage Mistress Yuki decided to give me a helicopter ride. If you’ve never heard of this before, then imagine someone trying to start an old fashioned gas (petrol) lawnmower, but with the pull cord wrapped around a pair of balls. We actually did this twice. Not because it didn’t work the first time, but having done it once Mistress Yuki decided it would be a great thing to take a video of. So while I was still moaning in pain from the first time I heard an enthusiastic voice say – “Oh! I should have got a video. Let’s do that again!”

You can see the resulting video here. I believe it’s the first one from a session I’ve ever featured. Weirdly there seems to have been a problem with the sound. Originally I let out a small manly growl when she pulled the cord. But something in the recording process seem to have turned it into a loud high pitched scream. Given that odd technical problem I’ve decided to omit the audio, lest I give my readers the wrong impression of my fortitude.

The above image shows some trampling I got to enjoy. Although it doesn’t look like much, it was actually one of the more painful moments. That was mostly because Mistress Yuki was trying to balance on one high heeled foot while digging the other into my chest and simultaneously framing the photograph correctly. I suspect her prioritization had not falling over and getting the photograph right way higher than odd moaning noises coming from the submissive.

Odds and Sods

I’m still sorting through the detritus of my vacation. Nothing coherent to blog yet, so this is a random collection of stuff that was accumulating in my brain.

I was hopefully on seeing the first few seconds of the Straightjacket Supermodel video that someone might have finally done a good femdom video. There are some nice tools on display and flashes of interesting imagery. Unfortunately it quickly turns to crap. There’s a stereotypical domme doing porny come-hither dance moves to the camera, right up to the point she axe murders her submissive. Obviously somebody didn’t tick the ‘not being axe murdered’ box as a hard limit.

This post on building a predicament bondage device out of a Mattel MindFlex toy is pretty interesting. Personally I’m skeptical it’ll work. I suspect if arousal was this easy to measure, scientists wouldn’t still be using these kind of crude devices. But I do love this kind of hacking and experimentation, so I really hope it leads to something cool.

A BDSM event had to be cancelled because some children may have been vaguely in the same zip code at some point. Clearly BDSM people should follow the same rules as those applied to sex offenders and always maintain a minimum safe radius from anyone under the age of 18. Which would actually suit me fine, provided it was the annoying kids that had to move.

I’ve finally caught up with my comment responses. Apologies for the delay on those. I always enjoy getting comments, but I’m frequently surprised by my inability to predict what will trigger them. I’ll write something that I think it’s interesting and provocative and get very little response. Then I’ll mention say nipple clamps in passing, and get a whole burst of comments. I’m certainly not complaining. As I said, I always enjoy feedback, whatever the subject. I’m just amused by how unpredictable it can be.

The image is by Sergej Medovikov. I found it on the Marquise tumblr.

Sad and bemused

What made me sad was coming back from vacation, turning on my home computer, and discovering all the browser tabs left open from my vacation planning process. All the flight tracking pages, the restaurant reviews, the hotel booking information and the maps to dungeon locations. That last one is probably pretty specific to my vacation planning, but you get the general idea. It’s like a little window in time back to the day before I traveled, when everything was exciting and waiting to unfold. Now there’s just a pile of dirty laundry and a groove worn in my credit card’s magnetic strip.

As you can probably guess from that introduction, I’m back in Seattle. The vacation was great but work now awaits. I’ve got some interesting photographs to share, as well as a couple of short videos. They’ll appear in posts later this week, when I’ve had chance to sort through them.

In the meantime, I’ll temporarily change direction, and point to a short news story that bemused me on the plane on the way home. US public officials often get criticized (quite rightly) for saying stupid things. The British are apparently seeing this as a competition and appear determined to out-stupid them. In this case by suggesting that conventional internet pornography sites are a key routes to child abuse images. And that the solution for this is for search engines to force users to register as 18 before allowing them to adjust their search settings from ‘disney’ mode to ‘normal internet’. It’s quite hard to sum up just how much stupidity gets crammed into this single article. The British official manages to get the problem wrong, the solution wrong and screw over normal internet users all at the same time.

What blows my mind is that the moron in question – John Carr – is a government adviser. He’s not some idiot politician elected to a safe seat. This is someone paid by the quality of their advice. It’s how he earns his living. Truly amazing.

No doubt Divine Bitches would be a site high on his list of ‘gateway’ sites. However, I’m not lose to much sleep over linking to both it and excellent images like this one.

I found this image via the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Nipples and nosh

Today was a good day. I spent part of it being tortured by Domina Ai-Li. I now have a well striped back and very sore nipples. She has a pair of nipple torturing devices that are pure concentrated evil. Most clamps hurt when they go on, then things get numb, and then it hurts when they come off. These hurt a lot when they go on, become more painful over time and are agony when pulled off. Whoever invented them was a perverted evil genius.

After that I went to Benu, where a very cute red headed server brought me some wonderful food and made me an extremely happy bunny. A day of attractive women hurting me and then bringing me much food and wine is a good one in my book.

In honor of my sore nipples I’ll finish with this enjoyable image. I found it on the Work Is Never Over tumblr. It’s originally from Men in Pain.