Limits of consent

While writing yesterday’s post on the Folsom Street Fair, I came across this article on the issue of photographing participants in these kind of public events. I though the issues it raised and the article subsequent comments where interesting. The trigger for this was an Ask First campaign that wanted to raise awareness around consent. They used stickers to remind people to ask before touching or engaging with people. They also extended that to photographs. The first part sounds excellent to me, the last part I’m not so sure on.

Shared public spaces are for everyone to use. That means their for the kinky, the non-kinky and the occasionally curious. They shouldn’t be majority ruled or driven to the lowest common denominator of taste. As I’ve argued before, as long as the goal isn’t to piss people off, kinky people should be able to do their thing in public. However, at the same time, when the kinky people become the majority at somewhere like Folsom, they shouldn’t turn around and takes rights off others. It’s the photographers public space as much as theirs, and part of the social contract around public spaces is that you can be identified and photographed in them. That goes for the public, the police and the perverted. If being identified is such a big deal to you then either dress conventionally or wear some sort of mask or hood. You’re in a public space – that has consequences.

Of course if you want to combine photography with privacy, then the best way to go is the selfie. This lady seems to have mastered that pretty well, thanks to the help of a mirror and a handy doormat.

femdomselfieThere’s no watermark on this, but my domme sense tells me that’s Empress Jennifer who has filmed for sites such as Men are Slaves and Asian Cruelty.

Missing the fair

I have the worst timing when it comes to the Folsom Street Fair. As I wrote last year, I always seem to be in SF around it, but never on it. There’s a regular software event called Oracle World a week or two before, which pushes up hotel prices, closes roads and packs the city with the kind of people interested in computer databases. I’ve inadvertently overlapped and been annoyed by that multiple times, including this year. The kinky, fetish event full of naked people and leather gear? Not once.

Anyway, my bad planning aside, the Folsom Fair just happened again. There’s a pretty good collection of photographs from it available here. The one below caught my eye as I believe the lady in the chariot in Liliane Hunt, whose blog has been on my blogroll for several years now.

chariot

United colors of kink

The image put me in mind of the Italian fashion house Benetton. Back in the 90’s they were famous for doing both colorful and controversial advertisements under the banner ‘United Colors of Benetton’.  The bright colors were very much part of the fashion of the time, and while using controversial imagery to attract attention isn’t exactly new, they pushed it further than most.

Sadly this never graced a billboard. It’s actually a work by Maurizio Cattelan and Pierpaolo Ferrari for a biannual art magazine they do called (appropriately enough in this case) Toilet Paper. This particular image, called Sit on my Face, was part of a collection shot for Vice.

sit-on-my-face

Getting it all wrong

When a story about a dominatrix avoiding jail after a client died in a session originally surfaced in my inbox, I was pleased. Not for the dead guy obviously, but for the fact that she hadn’t been unreasonably punished. From just reading the article title I assumed he’d had a heart attack or aneurysm and gone out doing something he enjoyed. Intense kinky sex can certainly raise stress and blood pressure levels, and having a play partner die would be traumatizing enough without adding legal entanglements. Now, having read the story, I’m not so sure. Jail seems like a pretty reasonable place for her.

The client contacted her to do breathplay, which is a reasonable thing in itself. The badness starts with him wanting to be made unconscious. It gets worse with the fact she agreed to do it when clearly neither of them had a clue what they were doing. It culminates with her helping him use tape and a noose to cut off his breathing and then leaving him alone in a hotel room for 30 minutes. Leaving someone alone is a big red flag in most bondage situations, let alone when breathing restrictions are involved. Stupidity like that really deserves some prison time, even if he was equally idiotic in instigating the situation.

Personally, I love breathplay. I’ve had some of my most intense sessions while experiencing it. But it was always with people who knew what they were doing, who kept a very close watch on my physical responses and where we could escape it in a second or two.

breathplayThis is the lovely Mistress Eleise – someone who definitely does know how to do breathplay properly. A gloved hand can be very effective all on its own. This is taken from her Femme Fatale Films.

Washing day

I’m home from a very enjoyably vacation. I’m sad it’s over, but hopefully that’ll mean I’ve time for more regular posts here. While I go and unpack my case and throw a bunch of dirty clothes in the wash, I’ll leave you with someone else who has been doing their washing. This looks a bit more fun than me running my tumble dryer.

washingdayThe watermark here indicates the photograph is by a ‘Bobbie Lyne’, but I can’t find a suitable photographer with that name online. There are a couple of models using that name, but I’m not convinced it’s their work either. As usual, if anyone has an attribution, please let me know.

Patreon

I noticed when writing my previous post that Yumine has set-up a Patreon account. For those that haven’t encountered this service before, it’s an easy way for fans (patrons) of artists to contribute a few bucks to them on a regular basis. It’s not designed to crowdfund a specific piece of work, but instead functions more as a virtual tip jar for ongoing work. Yumine is suggesting chipping in just a $1 or $5 per month.

I’ve not used Patreon before, but this seemed a worthwhile case to give it a go. Sign-up was very quick and easy, and it let me use either PayPal or a credit card. If like me, you appreciate Yumine’s work, then maybe give it a shot yourself?

calmOf course this gives me another excuse to feature her work in a post. I particularly like this piece as the D/s dynamic and activity reminds me a lot of my play. I love breathplay and nipple torture, while having a love/hate relationship with hoods. That often leads to a lot of nervous energy that has to be worked through.

Bring it on

I’m still on vacation, so blogging will continue to be erratic for the next few days. Lacking time to write anything intelligent, my default plan is always to lean on the talent’s of others. In this case it’s the great Yumine Guo. I love the attitude in this image. I never quite say anything as bold as “bring it on”, but sometimes that subtext lurks around my responses. That never ends well for me.

yumineTaken from this tumblr post, and inspired by this original gif.

The shape of things to come

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about female anatomy and was a bit snooty about those who demonstrated a lack of knowledge in said anatomy. Having read this article on a 3D printed model of a clitoris, I should perhaps have been slightly more forgiving. If I’d been handed the model, I’m not sure I’d have instantly known what it was. Much like an iceberg, a lot of interesting stuff lies below the visible part. The printed model is going to be used to teach French school children, which is simultaneously an excellent idea and very French.

Here’s a shot of a guy getting his own close-up anatomy lesson. I can’t see his face, but something tells me they’re both enjoying it.

closeup

Service dynamics

As well as dipping my toe back into kinky waters in San Francisco, I’ve also been indulging my fetish for fine dining. I love great food, but I also enjoy observing the theater the goes along with high end restaurants. It’s almost like a roleplay, combing drama, craftsmanship and a finely tuned business machine. It’s designed to make every customer feel like they have a unique and personal experience, while at the same time making it endlessly reproducible.

The customer/server dynamic in these restaurants always intrigues me. There’s an element of D/s in it, but who plays what role can be highly variable. I had a great meal at a restaurant I’ll call AC in San Francisco, and experienced two very different servers. One made me feel pampered and that every little need was taken care of. The other had a quietly superior vibe that pushed all my internal submissive buttons. I imagined that if a drop of sauce was spilt she might force me to lick it up. The former’s philosophy seemed to be “I really hope you like it…” while the latter was “You better damn well like it…” You can probably guess who I enjoyed interacting with the most.

wineThis is Nikki Nefarious shooting for DDI magazine back in 2009.

Craftwork

Some people, after almost 12 months away from kinky interaction, might have started with some light play. Maybe a little spanking or tease and denial. I am not those people. My first session in SF was with two dommes – Domina Yuki and Mistress Magnum – and focused heavily on suturing. I hadn’t suggested that particularly technique but, given the option, was very happy to roll with it. You can see some of the results in this twitter post. The nipple suturing was particularly effective, both from the level of pain and from the increased sensitivity after the fact. A lot of yelling, grunting and growling was generated in the process. It was both fun and intense, which is a recipe for happiness in my world.

Here’s a shot of Mistress Magnum from her web site. She was in SF for a few days, and travels a fair amount, but is typically based in Montreal.

mistressmagnum