5 Top Tips

As part of my 2000th post celebration I thought I’d share the top 5 things I’ve learnt about writing a kinky blog. If you’re thinking of starting your own, keep these in mind.

  1. Dominant women like submissive men. If you want to attract dominant women with your witty writing and thoughtful blog posts, don’t start a blog on the beauty of dominant women that features attractive female models in fetishistic outfits. Instead start one on submissive men featuring attractive male models wearing very little.
  2. A non-trivial fraction of people are stupid and that fraction includes kinky people. You will get strange emails and comments. My favorites are submissive guys asking me to dominate them or people leaving comments directed as questions to the model in the image I’ve featured.
  3. The life of a blog is inversely proportional to the length and frequency of its early posts. Any new blog starting with a flood of essay length posts will inevitably grind to a halt within a week or two.
  4. The amount of good porn is both small and finite. The amount of bad porn is seemingly infinite. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so in a random electronic sea of internet porn, the chances of finding good porn is therefore zero. Any good porn you do find is therefore merely the product of a deranged imagination.
  5. Only a fraction of your readers will leave comments or contact you. Only a fraction of kinky people will be your readers. Only a fraction of people are kinky people. In the big scheme of things, whatever you do will look small and ephemeral. Write therefore for yourself and because you enjoy it. And possibly because it gives you an excuse to look a lot of porn for ‘blog research’

Not sure who created this image originally, but clearly the product of a deranged imagination.

Update: The deranged imagination in question turns out to work for the StrapOn Dreamer site.

Post MM

This is my 2000th post. I find that fact astonishing. I launched the blog in September of 2010, exactly 2395 days ago. That means I’ve average a post roughly ever 28 hours for the last 6 or so years. Putting it another way, estimating the average post to take 45 minutes, and assuming a standard 40 hour work week, I’ve spent just over 37 weeks on the full time job of blogging. As jobs go, it’s certainly a satisfying one, although the salary of negative several hundred dollars a year could be better.

Thanks to everyone who has commented on the blog, emailed me, linked to me, written posts I’ve shared or published images I’ve used. Thanks in particular to all my readers. If nobody ever showed up, I doubt I’d have made it to 200 posts, let alone 2000. I hope I’ve added a little kinky happiness into people’s lives over the years.

I’ll probably do some more follow-up thoughts in a subsequent post. For the moment I’m just going to bask in the achievement of making it this far. For my 1000th post I featured the artwork of the talented Yumine Guo. Let me continue that tradition in post 2000. I’m feeling pretty pleased at making it this far, and here’s a lady looking equally happy with herself.

If you like Yumine’s work then consider support her Patreon.

Behind the fantasy

Courtesy of linking from Mistress T I found this article on the rewards and challenges of being both a sex worker and a parent. I’ll admit it doesn’t really have a femdom angle to it. However, this blog relies heavily on the fantasies that sex workers help create. I feature beautiful photographs of sex workers, articles by them and descriptions of amazing scenes they help create. I therefore always appreciate the chance to acknowledge and humanize the people behind the fantasy.

I’ll add an entirely anecdotal observation of my own to the story. A lot of the pro-dommes I’ve interacted with have been very caring people and very pro-animal. They’ve kept animals, or fostered animals, or volunteered at shelters or contributed (and encouraged others to contribute) to animal charities. Obviously this is based on a very limited data set, but it does seem to me that pro-dommes at least, tend to care about animals and their welfare far more than the average person on the street does.

Of course there are always exceptions. There’s one type of animal they tend to do some really horrible things to.

This artwork is of course by the great Sardax.

When a switch marries a domme

I’m guessing from her expression, his desire is likely to go unfulfilled. Or maybe he can be the dominant one, just as long as he does exactly as he’s told.

This drawing for Playboy magazine is by the British cartoonist Francis Wilford Smith. According to his Wikipedia page he was a man of many talents. He did cartoons for Punch, Esquire and The New Yorker. He worked on advertising campaigns for major companies, wrote books on pin-up magazines and was a collector and expert on Blues and Gospel music.

Working the pole

I think this falls into the strange but kind of cool category. Pole dancing requires incredibly stamina and athleticism. I can’t imagine that doing it with a strap-on makes it any easier. I’m also not sure why you would, but I’m certainly not going to object.

Amusingly when I do a reverse image search for this, Google suggests the title ‘hardwood’ and then links to hardwood flooring. It is a kind of hard wood, or a hard pink something, but not quite the kind of hard Google has in mind. The search algorithm clearly thinks the floor is the most interesting thing about this image. AI has a long way to go.

I’m afraid Google’s search failure leaves me unaware of the source for this.

Skool Daze

Servitor was taking me to task for the spelling in the title of my previous post. In my defense, while memento might be the standard spelling, there is a wiktionary definition page for momento. And, as we all know, any page on a site beginning with ‘wiki’ is always 100% reliable. I actually like the idea of a momento being a memento of a moment but, if I’m honest, it was more a typo than anything else.

He suggests writing lines in a classroom scene would be a suitable punishment. I’ve nothing against a classroom scene, but writing lines sounds awfully boring. I’d rather take 6 of the best. Or maybe 12. Perhaps even 18? I’d be willing to misspell more things in future if necessary. In fact, given my proofreading abilities, that’s one thing I can guarantee.

An unusual momento

Like a lot of submissives, I appreciate having something to remind me of an enjoyable play session. It might be bruises from a cane, a hidden bitemark or, as was the case a few weeks back, a heart carved into my chest. Days or even weeks after the event, seeing these physical reminders can put a smile on my face and a little rush of happiness in my heart. Most don’t last much beyond that. Even the scalpel work on my chest is slowly fading and will probably be gone by the end of the month. And yet this weekend I stumbled across something from a session back in 2011 that achieved that same effect. It was a jar of Crystal Hot Sauce.

I’m a keen cook. I’m also pretty organized about labeling, checking dates and throwing old stuff out. Despite this, like a lot of kitchens, I still have that one shelf where odd cans and unused jars migrate to. It’s the graveyard shelf, where strange non-perishable items that I’ll probably never use lurk. I decided to dig up and cleanse my kitchen graveyard this weekend, and the Crystal Hot Sauce was lurking right at the back, unopened. I stared at it for a good while before I remembered the reason I’d purchased it. It was because Lydia had dripped it all over my cock back in a chemical play session in 2011.

I guess technically I didn’t buy it because of its effect on my genitals. At the end of the session I’d tasted it – from the bottle not the cock – and thought it was pretty good. I even said so in my post at the time, and added I’d be purchasing it to keep in the kitchen. I’m clearly a man of my word. That jar, purchased a day or two after the session, stayed unopened in my kitchen for 2171 days.

It’s sadly gone now. It probably lasts forever, but I figure if you don’t use a sauce in the first 6 years of its life, you’re probably not going to use it in the next 6. However, before it disappeared to the big BBQ in the sky, it did give me a smile and a burst of happy memories of that session with Lydia.

This is Mistress Sidonia of The English Mansion doing some chemical play of her own. In this case she’s going in the opposite direction to hot sauce, with a deep cold rub. I’m sure it’ll be equally invigorating for the man in the bed.

Making himself useful

Continuing my image theme from yesterday’s post of public objectification, here’s a man making himself useful. She gets somewhere comfortable to rest while texting her friends. He gets to provide her with somewhere comfortable to rest while texting her friends. It’s a win-win.

As a side observation, it does seem that the style of public play scenes often differs between Asian countries and US/Europe. Obviously I’m broadly generalizing here, and only going from what photographs show up on-line, so treat this as a very casual observation. But it seems when US/Europeans make a scene in public they do it in  a very clearly kinky way, often with props and costumes involved. I’m thinking of images like this or this or this. These feature people who clearly left home with a kinky plan to execute. In contrast a lot of images I’ve featured from Asian countries look like this or this or the image below. They have a more casual look and a sense of normality to them. You can almost believe that they’re going about their daily lives, just with a kinky slant. It’s a style I personally find a lot hotter than the overtly fetishistic public scenes.

 

5 signs you’re reading a crappy magazine

Femina, an Indian magazine for women, has 5 signs that you might be a dominant woman. It’s kind of amazing, although not in a good way. Apparently, liking to have sex on top, initiating sex or simply showing a man how you like to have sex is a sign you might have dominatrix tendencies. I guess non-dominant women are expected to lie on their backs, wait for their partner to notice them, and just hope that whatever their partner likes also gets them off.

There’s certainly value in articles emphasizing you don’t need to have a wardrobe full of leather and the ability to swing a bullwhip to be a dominant woman, but this kind of bullshit is pretty depressing. The subtext is that sane and entirely normal sexual behavior for a man, like initiating sex or wanting to be sexual adventurous, is kinky for a woman. I guess the options according to this magazine are either doormat or dominant.

Oddly, the idea of standing on your partner to reach high shelves doesn’t seem to be covered by any of the article’s 5 signs. Although since having sex on top is dominant, maybe shopping on top falls into the same category?

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.