Have you seen this whip?

I think most kinky people have a favorite toy. It might be the one that pushes their buttons perfectly, has sentimental value or is simply something that’s impossible to buy anymore. Nobody wants to lose a toy like that. All that said, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone offer a financial reward for the return of a particular implement, much less a $1000 reward.

The toy in question in this case is a rare 15 year old signal whip and the owner is the famous Isabella Sinclaire. She was attending an event called Ellismania in Vegas when it went missing. I’m not really sure what that event is, but based on the photograph below, it seems to involve some sort of fighting ring, women in sexy outfits and Isabella whipping them. What’s not to like? I’m not sure if being whipped was the punishment for losing or the reward for winning. Seems like a no lose type situation either way.

If you were at this event and have any information on her whip, I’m sure she’d be very happy to receive it.

Happy shades of grey

This is continuing the monochrome theme with another image that I’m sure has been tweaked from its original form. I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr. I’d guess it’s a StrapOn Dreamer image, but I can’t be sure of that, as there’s no watermark and Google image search seems to fail miserably on modified photographs.

Update: It is from StrapOn Dreamer and I even used it in a previous post. Doh!

Making art from porn

A recent interview with Maggie Gyllenhaal quoted her as saying that “that pornography is an art form”. She’s right of course, but she missed one of the key elements: Only when it’s in black and white. Anyone who has browsed tumblr extensively will realize this. Depraved color pornography is instantly transformed into a moody art shot with the simple application of a monochrome filter.

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously stated, in Jacobellis v. Ohio, that he knew pornography when he saw it. At the time he was judging Loius Malle’s film ‘The Lovers‘. That was shot in black and white, and obviously that’s why he found it not obscene. It’s basic science.

I don’t have a original source for this image. I’m sure it started as a far more depraved and non-artistic full color shot.

Update: The original source is StrapOn Dreamer.

Designing a play (not so much) space

Vice recently published an article on creating a play space when you’re living in a small apartment. It’s not an area I have expertise in, given I typically play in professional spaces, so I can’t really critique their advice. However, they consulted a lot of people who do know what they’re talking about (including Lucy SweetKill), so that earns it some credibility points. Might be worth checking out if you’re thinking of doing some kink orientated home improvements.

Of course you don’t need even a small amount of dedicated equipment to have fun. Just a candle, a marker pen and a tiny bit of floorspace will do. I particularly like the positioning of her feet in these shots. It’s not the focus of the image, but that pressing down on and spreading his inner thigh is sexy as hell.

These images are by EM Studio from their tumblr.

Always something new

One of the things I love about kink is the infinite variety of possibilities it offers. There’s always a new experience or activity for me to explore. In some cases it can be a very common kinky activity that has simply never made it onto my kinky hit list. Whenever that happens it’s always slightly disconcerting. A bit like realizing there’s a cupboard in your house you’ve never actually opened, despite years of living there.

In my recent trip to San Francisco Domina Yuki used a leash on my collar to lead me around. It wasn’t a big part of the scene or in response to a request I’d made. Just a fun way for her to get me from one area to another in the play space. But as she did it I was struck by the fact it was a new experience for me. The collar and leash is a staple of BDSM porn. It’s even used as a symbol for kink in the mainstream. Yet, in years of play, I couldn’t remember ever being on the receiving end. I was so surprised at that realization I almost forgot to enjoy the moment. Almost.

This is the beautiful Mistress Iris enjoying some leash play with a slave. I found it via her twitter feed.

Room, ensuite bathroom, bonus slave

I’m continuing the domestic service theme with a link to an article and craiglist post that made me smile. It features an F/m couple looking for a female roommate who can play a role in an FLR. I love the fact they spend longer on the size and temperature of the room than the whole kinky dynamic thing.

Personally I find both roommate negotiation and BDSM complex enough on their own, without trying to mix them all together. But maybe I’m just a pessimist and there’s a domme in DC enjoying a cheap room and a submissive landlord.

I’m afraid I don’t have a source for this shot of domestic bliss.

The barter economy

Dan Savage had a letter from a lady considering taking on a cleaning and housework slave in return for some foot fetish play. She’s concerned about the protocol for clearing it with her roommates. I hope it works out for her, but I suspect she’ll have more problems than explaining the naked guy with the dustpan and brush. I’ve heard very few dommes report success on these arrangements, as against a great many complaining about guys who do a terrible job of cleaning and nag constantly for more play. The submissives love the concept initially, but quickly realize that scrubbing floors and cleaning toilets to a decent standard is hard work. As soon as they realize the domme isn’t planning to stand over them in full fetish gear and micromanage the situation, their interest wanes rapidly.

Maybe I’m being unfair and the failures are just more widely reported than the successes. Anyone out there have first hand experience of this kind of arrangement working well? I have noticed Mistress Darcy regularly recruiting slaves to run facets of her empire (for example here and here). She hasn’t written much on the success (or not) of her applicants, but the fact she continues to use that process suggests some value comes from it.

I’ll finish with a nice image of someone both getting some foot fetish action and making himself useful. I’m afraid I’ve no source for this.

Spend your budget wisely (part 3)

Here’s a final few thoughts to conclude my theory of the submissive ‘stress budget’. See the earlier parts here and here.

Phil raised an excellent point in a comment on the first post: The submissive’s budget can also be diminished by stress and overload from daily life. Sometimes kink can be a release from that pressure, but in other situations it’s necessary to take it slowly and allow more time to grow the budget as play unfolds. It also mean a submissive has a duty to perform self-care and be aware of their own mental state prior to playing.

I hope all my readers understand that the budget concept I’ve described is meant very much as a thought experiment and a theoretical way to think about more complex scenes. I’m not suggesting submissives start negotiating scenes by saying their budget today is 75 and while caning is down 10 on the stress-o-meter, whips are up to an expensive 45. I’m also not suggesting that dommes keep a running budget count in their head during play. This is just a possible abstraction for thinking about limits in a slightly more realistic way than the traditional hard/soft definitions.

Finally, if anyone new to kink and femdom is reading this and thinking that it all seems very complicated and somewhat daunting, then all I can say is please disregard everything I’ve written. You can absolutely ignore all this and have an amazingly fun kinky time. Just grab your partner by the balls, bite his neck and whisper that he’s your slut puppy in his ear. I’ve played for years without caring about any of this and had some amazing experiences. You don’t need to understand film theory to enjoy a great movie, and you don’t need to deconstruct kink to enjoy dominating or submitting to someone.

In line with that idea, and as a change from the last couple of crazy kink images, here’s a simple shot to finish on.

I believe this is the actress Giovanna Ewbank with her husband Bruno Gagliasso. You can see more shots from this sequence here and here.